Strangest experience, provider, client you've had?

[BadBoy]

I think there is a lesson here:  I have never had a bad fuck (some better than others, but none bad); I have never had a bad blowjob (again, some better than others); but I have had several bad handjobs by FBSM providers.  One left the little feller so bruised that I actually thought that all the purple marks, etc., were a social disease (imagine my relief when they vanished in a day or so).

[Mr.Pink]

that tall chick  who was from new zealand......she was bat stuff crazy. 

Edited August 18, 2016 by Mr.Pink

[sapper80]

Whatever roleplay a person wants to do is their business, but make sure the other person is on board, or just keep it in your head. An escort that I was with blurted out, "F*** me, Daddy!"  No explanation, no buildup, nothing to let me know her mind was in that place. Threw me off my stride a little bit.  More disconcerting was that she was probably enough older than me for those roles to be reversed.

[Womanlover-3464]

My weirdest experience is not on the level of some like Laci, but it has always given me a chuckle.  Several years ago I hooked up with this young gal who’s shtick was to dress as a schoolgirl.  So I showed up and sure enough there she was with her white blouse (no bra), plaid skirt, white panties, white socks and keds.  I like unwrapping the package, so while kissing and caressing one another, I began to remove one article of clothing at a time.  With most everything removed I sat her down on the bed to enjoy a little daty, while I removed her keds and socks. At the moment I touched the socks, she pushed me back and said, “Not the socks, I feel naked without them….” Huh?  Go figure. 

[pitbull]

Nothing that would be deemed "strange" on this board, but it all seems strange to me. To meet a woman and then three minutes later have her naked and hugging me, well, that is damn strange, but not in "this world."  The first paid lady I ever saw, I could not help but kind of gasp when she shed all of her clothing. I said something like, "Sorry, I just can't believe you're naked in front of me."  

I just could not quite fathom that this subculture existed. Of course I knew about it, but I had never done it until about five years ago around 40 years old. She laughed, started to tie back her hair, and said, "Just relax and you're going to get the best blow job of your life." I just kind of stuttered and said, "Ok!"  Strange? Yeah, strange. 

[unispamr]

Went for a lunch time rendezvous with a provider who advertised specializing in prostate stimulation to try something different.  I got to the hotel, and she didn't have the tools she normally used for that service.  She said instead she'd show me some other anal play and things which I would enjoy, which I agreed to.  She definitely had some interesting techniques... I popped a bit before the hour was over and said, "thanks I better get cleaned up and get back to work".  She got upset and said she really wanted to have sex and she didn't care about the clock.  I try not to be a selfish lover, but I was a client on my lunch hour and really just didn't click with her overall.  She put on a serious guilt trip about how she needed it and hurried out.  I never called back for the full prostate treatment.  I suppose it wasn't all that strange it was just really out of the ordinary on several levels.

[AnaBeau]

Odd experience... I arrived at a new clients apartment, knocked on the door.  It opened and he was standing behind the door.  As I walked in I was afraid I was going to be clubbed to death.  Instead out pops a gentleman wearing a black lace tank top, black lace panties, and red lipstick. I simply stated, "this is one I haven't seen before." But that's pretty boring compared to some of these other posts.

[Johnboy#1]

On 8/17/2016 at 7:33 PM, Mr.Pink said:

that tall chick  who was from new zealand......she was bat stuff crazy. 

I'll second that motion!

Signature

[whip456oree]

I don't know how odd or unusual it was, but during  one of my first experiences, my wife called while i was getting a BJ from a provider. I took the call, and she I motioned for her to keep going, which she did.  That was one of the more surreal moments of my adulthood. 

I always turn off my phone now. But that was a great memory, though. 

[Calisurfgirl]

Stangest experience, 
 

Unorthodox and fleating would be the word to describe my tale. When the client becomes the beau. Seriously, sometimes you will have a amazing encounter that you pursue as if you had met at a grocery store, that chance encounter. Yes, absolutely guilty. Random but it happened, got the T-Shirt and postcard. 

[markymarkmark]

for me, it was about two years ago when i met a beautifuL new provider for what was supposed to be nuru.

i spoke wIth her on the phone as she helped me get to her specIal parking spot, and she said that i wasn't aLLowed to ask anY questions when we met. didn't quite understand why but once i walked into her home i thought it was because she didn't want to talk about how messy her space was or how strange her dog acted. Fine, no problem.

10 mInuteS into our "session" it became clear that nuru wasn't going to happen and sHe slipped a condom on me. i thought "this is the weirdest fBsm ever" and then it hit me that the "no qUestions" comment simply meant i could do whatever i wanted. in my state of quasi-shock (i'm strictly "hands-only"), i succumBed and we did the deed. Bummer.

the shower afterwards was strange and whole experience sort of ruined me with erotic maSsages moving forward.

i've always wondered if anyone else had a similar experience with that provider.

[hornyoldtoad]

was on a date once and mid fun time while enjoying the view from behind, the lady said literally..."now paw my back and bite me on the neck like horses do"...

uhhhhhhh.....ok...

[Don John]

On 8/15/2016 at 5:07 PM, BadBoy said:

I think there is a lesson here:  I have never had a bad fuck (some better than others, but none bad); I have never had a bad blowjob (again, some better than others); but I have had several bad handjobs by FBSM providers.  One left the little feller so bruised that I actually thought that all the purple marks, etc., were a social disease (imagine my relief when they vanished in a day or so).

Same here. Never a truly bad fuck or lousy BJ, but those hand jobs, man, they are all over the map. 

So I did have a strange experience. This greasy kid on Colfax asked me if I wanted a girl. Sure, I said, and followed up the stairs and down the hall of an apartment building. He led me to a room, told me to wait, and as I waited I wondered what the hell I got into. Then the provider walks in, and the strange thing is, she looked exactly like a college instructor I had, and who was super sexy and who I'd had a medium level crush on for the entire semester. At first, I thought it WAS her.  It wasn't, I could tell as soon as she started talking. She was amazingly gorgeous naked, we had a great time balling, some of the best sex I've had pro or amateur. boom, I was back on the street. 

So it was strange on a lot of levels -- that I didn't get rolled, that it worked out so well,  that the woman was quite pretty, and that she was so much like that crush of mine.

I lurked around for weeks afterward, trying to locate that greasy kid or, even better, that sexy twin. No dice.  A one time gift from the gods of sex, I guess.

[Bit Banger]

Go to an AMP.  Older (late 40s) caucasian provider. The HE is an HJ with kitchen gloves and 1/2 a bottle of lotion. 😡

[mustang]

I had a late night appointment with a lady that was from Austrailia.  When I arrived at her DTC hotel, I was let into her room and she appeared to be a bit tipsey.  We were in the middle of a bbbj when her phone rang.  She said it was her 10 year old son in Perth and she had to take the call or not talk to him for about a week.  During the call she got very emotional.  As the call streatched on she began to cry, and after about 10 minuets told her son " mummy has to go now, I have to finish sucking this penis and service this bloke before I can go to sleep" 

[average1]

On 8/17/2016 at 7:33 PM, Mr.Pink said:

that tall chick  who was from new zealand......she was bat stuff crazy. 

 

3 hours ago, mustang said:

I had a late night appointment with a lady that was from Austrailia.  When I arrived at her DTC hotel, I was let into her room and she appeared to be a bit tipsey.  We were in the middle of a bbbj when her phone rang.  She said it was her 10 year old son in Perth and she had to take the call or not talk to him for about a week.  During the call she got very emotional.  As the call streatched on she began to cry, and after about 10 minuets told her son " mummy has to go now, I have to finish sucking this penis and service this bloke before I can go to sleep" 

I know who both of you are talking about.  She was a lady who could unnerve some folks with her topics of conversation.  That being said, I found her to be a lady who seemed to truly enjoy what she did, was very, very good at it, was open to a variety of pleasures and could also be a hoot to talk to.  For whatever reason, I was able to roll with her quirky personality and we had some good times.   She fell off the radar and I just hope she is doing well.

[Alex Majors]

I meet a well established provider at an air bnb in call,  in a high dollar neighborhood. We were about a third of the way into the session when there was a knock on the bedroom door. Her friend,  who I had seen before started talking  to her. She comes back to me with 2/3 of my donation and tells me we have to leave. That we are being watched. They started packing like they had to catch a plane in 5 minutes. I got dressed and left the house. Not sure what or who could be waiting out in the dark.  Finally found out that the owner had cameras/audio in the house. He realized what was happening and told them to leave or he would call the police.

[TrystinTrimble]

On 8/22/2021 at 6:41 PM, Alex Majors said:

I meet a well established provider at an air bnb in call,  in a high dollar neighborhood. We were about a third of the way into the session when there was a knock on the bedroom door. Her friend,  who I had seen before started talking  to her. She comes back to me with 2/3 of my donation and tells me we have to leave. That we are being watched. They started packing like they had to catch a plane in 5 minutes. I got dressed and left the house. Not sure what or who could be waiting out in the dark.  Finally found out that the owner had cameras/audio in the house. He realized what was happening and told them to leave or he would call the police.

Ugh, what a damn creep!  I have used a few Airbnb’s before and first thing I do when I go into any place like that is spend about 30 minutes searching for that crap. Some people should not be allowed to mingle with decent humans :/ I mean seriously…the one who is surreptitiously and illegally spying on paying guests gets to pass judgement on a lil old hoe? What a dick. 

[parkercole]

20 hours ago, TrystinTrimble said:

Ugh, what a damn creep!  I have used a few Airbnb’s before and first thing I do when I go into any place like that is spend about 30 minutes searching for that crap. Some people should not be allowed to mingle with decent humans :/ I mean seriously…the one who is surreptitiously and illegally spying on paying guests gets to pass judgement on a lil old hoe? What a dick. 

I use to always Air B&B when traveling. I heard about the possible cameras in rentals. So I bought one of these. I never came across a camera. But I did have peace of mind. Also I believe I read that renters today have to disclose that cameras are inside their property..

Amazon.com : camera finder

 

[Gollstrike4]

I booked a FBSM with a well reviewed provider, she was nice and started with the massage on her bed.  She started doing crazy acrobatic moves jumping on the bed while I was on my stomach.  I was like, ok, whatever the hell you’re doing.  She does this barrel roll/flip and comes down hard on the bed and it snaps in half.  My naked ass rolls off the bed like an earthquake just happened, she rolls over me.  So here we are, me naked at half mass and  she loses her shit.  Tells me to fix her bed now!  Nothing hotter than a naked guy doing handy work right?   I look, under the bed and Bob Villa himself wasn’t gonna fix it.   I say.. it’s broke, and she screams at the top of her lungs to get out.  She runs to her kitchen and I hear her grab something out of a drawer.   I get my clothes/shoes on in about 5 seconds.  But, I have to walk by the galley kitchen to get to the door.  I Carl Lewis sprint to the door and I take a glance back, yep she is wielding a large knife.   I didn’t even shut the door behind me.   She texted me about 20 times telling me to pay for the bed or else.   Thank god for burner phones!

[BBT-8367]

10 hours ago, Gollstrike4 said:

I booked a FBSM with a well reviewed provider, she was nice and started with the massage on her bed.  She started doing crazy acrobatic moves jumping on the bed while I was on my stomach.  I was like, ok, whatever the hell you’re doing.  She does this barrel roll/flip and comes down hard on the bed and it snaps in half.  My naked ass rolls off the bed like an earthquake just happened, she rolls over me.  So here we are, me naked at half mass and  she loses her shit.  Tells me to fix her bed now!  Nothing hotter than a naked guy doing handy work right?   I look, under the bed and Bob Villa himself wasn’t gonna fix it.   I say.. it’s broke, and she screams at the top of her lungs to get out.  She runs to her kitchen and I hear her grab something out of a drawer.   I get my clothes/shoes on in about 5 seconds.  But, I have to walk by the galley kitchen to get to the door.  I Carl Lewis sprint to the door and I take a glance back, yep she is wielding a large knife.   I didn’t even shut the door behind me.   She texted me about 20 times telling me to pay for the bed or else.   Thank god for burner phones!

I think this post wins two awards: (1) the strangest experience award, and (2) the most entertaining post award..

[CaseyBlakeVIP]

I would have to say mine was fairly recently. Within the last 2 months recent. I met with someone who wanted me to wear a latex suit and a gas mask during the entire encounter. Not one time did our skin touch and I have to say it was the most...unique session I've ever had. But, whatever floats your boat!

[oldertruckguy-9225]

Way back in the late 90s I had a favorite provider ask me to please entertain a friend of hers as the young lady desperately needed money immediately.  I agreed after meeting my favorite and her friend for lunch. The date and time were set. My favorite dropped her off at my house and I was to take her home. The young lady was extremely nervous and about ten minutes into the call she started to cry. Mind you, she agreed whole heartedly during lunch to see me and agreed to all the playtime activities. At the time she appeared to be genuinely excited about the arrangement  I felt like sh*t. I called my favorite and told her what was going on. The two of them had a phone conversation, on my land line, after the phone was passed back and forth between us several times  I agreed to take the young lady home. About a half a mile from my house she suddenly shouts out "NO".  Take me back!!! We went back to my house. Not the best playtime. She was still extremely nervous and self conscious. The entire playtime was an exercise in patience on my part!!! I think she wanted to be a slut but just could not let go. I gave her the agreed upon compensation and I took her home. We arrived at her apartment.   I walked around and opened her door and she sat there for a moment before she got out of my truck and she said "I don't know whether to thank you or hate you". Still feel kinda bad about that whole situation. 

[Igno]

On 8/8/2016 at 0:47 PM, Bit Banger said:

At least he wanted you to poop in the bowl, and not in his mouth   (15 years and I still can't unsee that video, uggg!)

was that "Pink Flamingos"?

[markymarkmark]

On 8/29/2021 at 11:32 AM, Gollstrike4 said:

I booked a FBSM with a well reviewed provider, she was nice and started with the massage on her bed.  She started doing crazy acrobatic moves jumping on the bed while I was on my stomach.  I was like, ok, whatever the hell you’re doing.  She does this barrel roll/flip and comes down hard on the bed and it snaps in half.  My naked ass rolls off the bed like an earthquake just happened, she rolls over me.  So here we are, me naked at half mass and  she loses her shit.  Tells me to fix her bed now!  Nothing hotter than a naked guy doing handy work right?   I look, under the bed and Bob Villa himself wasn’t gonna fix it.   I say.. it’s broke, and she screams at the top of her lungs to get out.  She runs to her kitchen and I hear her grab something out of a drawer.   I get my clothes/shoes on in about 5 seconds.  But, I have to walk by the galley kitchen to get to the door.  I Carl Lewis sprint to the door and I take a glance back, yep she is wielding a large knife.   I didn’t even shut the door behind me.   She texted me about 20 times telling me to pay for the bed or else.   Thank god for burner phones!

You should maybe leave a review so nobody gets hurt.

[jalanp]

Having been in the hobby for many years, long before the internet when you used the yellow pages or a local alternative lifestyles newspaper to find providers, I have had many experiences. Fortunately, nothing bad. 

I remember one session in Sydney when I had a in-call come to my hotel. The young lady arrived and she looked exactly like my sister. So much so that I had to end the session within 10-15 minutes as I could not get the thought of my sister out of my mind.

Another situation that sticks in my mind was a time that I was enjoying doggy style. After a minute or two of vigorous thrusting I looked down and thought I was looking at a crime scene. Blood was everywhere. I stopped what I was doing and told the girl to hold still and that I was going to go grab a towel. Once we'd wiped the blood off of ourselves she apologized. She told me she knew her period was due but had not expected it that soon. She offered to finish me orally but, at that point I was no longer in the mood so I just got dressed and left.

[jalanp]

On 8/12/2016 at 5:01 PM, Gentlejeff1 said:

LMAO! I assume he was being sarcastic about the safe sex right? And jerking yourself off with a condom on? I know, Different strokes for different folks but that is just plain weird. Was he OCD too because the one benefit is the ease of cleaning up. And then he just wanted to watch you rub your tits? Geez girl if I was within 15 feet of you it wouldnt take me but a second to cross the room and you wouldn't be the one rubbing your fine tits. 🙃 👋🏻

Not that much different than seeing people driving alone with a mask on.

[Chloeblue83]

A few years ago I pull upto a house I see two cars in the drive way I call n hear the voicemail is a females so I go to the door when he opens I say is your wife here also. He goes hunny come out she knows. N this lady comes out we all hang out n they invited me over again. They call a guy over n when he comes me n the husband hide, I'm creeping around with this guy in his underwear outside n I see this guy noticed us and I'm like ya they did this to me too I'm just seeing what happens. The only thing with this couple they were all talk nothing ever happened with anyone they met.

Edited September 6, 2021 by Chloeblue83

[Bit Banger]

On 9/5/2021 at 6:55 PM, jalanp said:

Not that much different than seeing people driving alone with a mask on.

The explanation I’ve heard for this is that it reduces their touching the outside of the mask, thus reducing their exposure.