Gun Shy after a Bad Experience

[mdallasfun]

I've been in the hobby for almost 10 years now and in the past have been very active. Nowadays it's very few and far between and have always done plenty of research and chosen well reviewed providers but recently had a terrible experience. Read enough reviews and you'll see it's kind of common-place, even for well established providers: the rushed 1/2 hour when you donated for an hour. This is truly one of the worst things a provider can do to a client. Most of the time, the actual main-event is secondary to the experience as a whole. As a client and as a man, we want to feel desired and attractive and feel worth the providers time. Many men don't have that validation at home and spend several $$$ in donations to feel that from a beautiful, sexy and kind woman. So for a provider to rush through 1/2 hour of companionship when the donation was paid for an hour, goes beyond feeling ripped-off money-wise, but is quite the blow to confidence and ego (the very thing we want to help by spending time w/ a hot companion). Figured since I don't like to write negative reviews, I'll ask the forum for advice.

Like I said I did my research and the provider was well-established with only one negative review and most hour reviews specified msog. I was kind and respectful upon entering but got rushed vibes 5-10 minutes in. She explained that there would only be one round and as disappointed as I was, I didn't argue or put up a fuss. I tried to last longer than I normally would in a msog environment, but was quickly told to stop slowing myself down and to just finish. Afterwards she handed me towel, put on clothes and lied on the other bed and played with her phone. I felt so low, like I was nothing - and on top of that, ended up paying more than her advertised 1/2 an hour. I wasn't rude at any point and not sure if she was having an off-day or what ...

Instead of being on Cloud 9 on my drive home, I felt like shit. Like some desperate creep who couldn't even get the attention when paying for it ... and then you feel distrustful and angry. I've had many amazing experiences with amazing women and I'm telling myself that not everyone is like that ... but so hard to get it out of your head. Makes me hesitant to see other providers.

And of course today, a provider I tried to initially contact texted me telling me she was coming into town and on top of that sent me a couple of unsolicited photos of herself. Of course I want to see her but after getting my wallet and ego bruised so recently, I'm gun-shy to see someone else so quickly. Have you had this happen to you? What do you do to get yourself back on the horse? I know I could always see a provider I've already had a great experience with, but my favorites have mostly retired (that and I love new girls and new experiences, just not bad ones)

Any advice?

[wglide2003]

When you get bucked off the horse, you need to climb back on. Just saying.

[lustybustygina]

Yep get back on and go for it ..  

 

[Danielle Rae]

My advice would be to try to not take the experience so personally.  Rather, try to understand that providers are "people" like everyone else and she could have simply been having an "off day."  It happens.   I'd like to think that most of us established and well-reviewed providers do our best to not let personal issues affect our business but again - at the end of the day, we are only "human" and sometimes even the best of the best have a bad day.  xoxo 

[mustang]

write a review.  This MAY have happened before and just was not brought to light. 

[Hunter VanDyke]

It's hard to give advice not knowing her perspective.  Generally speaking, if a client pays for an hour, they get the hour.   It's usually a given.  There are some exceptions to that.  If a client is more on the aggressive side, and the provider is not for example. Sometimes that calls for ending a session early if the client continues crossing spoken boundaries in a session.  That being said, there are providers that repeatedly give a hhr for their one hour rate.  That's where a review comes in handy to let other clients know about it.   She can post her side in her rebuttal.   

Definitely get back on the horse. 😊

Edited February 15, 2022 by Hunter VanDyke

[Danielle Rae]

And some things go beyond simply having a bad day.   "Laying on the other bed and playing on her phone"  is just shitty and unprofessional.  I agree with Hunter - that is what reviews are for. 

[oldertruckguy-9225]

Write a review. Be honest and fair. I can live with an appointment where, "we just did not click". I  Have had appointments where she was "having an off day" That happens and both move on. But I have a hard time with the disrespect shown by her "laying on the bed and playing with her phone". We talk so much about respect, courtesy, professionalism in this forum. It simply must go both ways. If you description of the appoinment is true, none of those traits were present during her time with you. Again, write a review.    

44 minutes ago, Danielle Rae said:

And some things go beyond simply having a bad day.   "Laying on the other bed and playing on her phone"  is just shitty and unprofessional.  I agree with Hunter - that is what reviews are for. 

 

[Hunter VanDyke]

1 hour ago, pluto said:

for some reason my posts are not being posted and i couldn’t edit  but i wanted to say too it’s hard for me to give advice since i was not there to see exactly what happened. it could have maybe been something else   and i know my experience was different from yours greatly. but i just wanted to say my story so maybe it could help. good luck mang

When you 1st join, you're kind of on a probationary period while you gain an understanding of the rules of the forum.   There's a delay before your posts show up on the thread.  It happens to all new members.  It doesn't last too long. 

[sb1212]

Sorry for your bad experience. Shit happens. You might go back to the same companion next week (although you likely wont) and have a different experience. I am fortunate in that I have never had a bad experience with a TOB companion. Some were good. Some were great. A few were mind blowing, weak-kneed gasping for breath fantastic.  I tend to stick within a circle of a few tried and true favorites with the occasional well-reviewed change of pace hottie. Go forth and hobby!!

[lustybustygina]

I like to keep myself at ease at all times , so how I do this is to book out 2hr's after each appt , just in case we go over or  he is running late ..  So no one is rushed out ... But Hhr is hhr hr is a hr .. 

[average1]

Sorry this happened and I understand about being uncertain about trying again.  But some of the replies here have some good advice.  Try again.  My experience has been like @sb1212.  I stick with TOB, read reviews and read providers' posts to get an idea of their personality.  I have not had a truly bad encounter.  Some have been okay, some have been REALLY good and some have been fantastic.  I get that I won't click with some ladies and am okay with that.  I am grateful that there are more than enough ladies that I truly enjoy spending time with.  Wishing you the best should you give it another try.

[ilovewomen]

Don't let one bad experience ruin things for you.  Get back up on the horse, bicycle or whatever and try again. There are many great ladies out there that you will have a great tdime with.

Be sure to write a review about your experiences...good and bad.

[joedoe6850]

mdallasfun. I would think it took a bit of courage to write this post. It struck me as extremely heartfelt. It reminded me of my very first encounter prior to joining TOB. She was about 20 years younger so I  explained my age and description prior and she was very friendly and receptive over text. After meeting, I left feeling very similar to what you described. Part of me was smiling for having the courage to actually go through with it but also very discouraging. Very rushed. Immediately getting dressed and on her phone. All I can say is I'm glad I shook it off and tried again. Since then I've tried to choose ladied at least close to my age. 5 years later I'm happy to say I've never left an appointment feeling that way. Some better than others but nothing like that shitty feeling. Shake it off brother and get back out there.

[Savoir Faire]

On 2/15/2022 at 0:14 PM, mdallasfun said:

I've been in the hobby for almost 10 years now and in the past have been very active. Nowadays it's very few and far between and have always done plenty of research and chosen well reviewed providers but recently had a terrible experience. Read enough reviews and you'll see it's kind of common-place, even for well established providers: the rushed 1/2 hour when you donated for an hour. This is truly one of the worst things a provider can do to a client. Most of the time, the actual main-event is secondary to the experience as a whole. As a client and as a man, we want to feel desired and attractive and feel worth the providers time. Many men don't have that validation at home and spend several $$$ in donations to feel that from a beautiful, sexy and kind woman. So for a provider to rush through 1/2 hour of companionship when the donation was paid for an hour, goes beyond feeling ripped-off money-wise, but is quite the blow to confidence and ego (the very thing we want to help by spending time w/ a hot companion). Figured since I don't like to write negative reviews, I'll ask the forum for advice.

Like I said I did my research and the provider was well-established with only one negative review and most hour reviews specified msog. I was kind and respectful upon entering but got rushed vibes 5-10 minutes in. She explained that there would only be one round and as disappointed as I was, I didn't argue or put up a fuss. I tried to last longer than I normally would in a msog environment, but was quickly told to stop slowing myself down and to just finish. Afterwards she handed me towel, put on clothes and lied on the other bed and played with her phone. I felt so low, like I was nothing - and on top of that, ended up paying more than her advertised 1/2 an hour. I wasn't rude at any point and not sure if she was having an off-day or what ...

Instead of being on Cloud 9 on my drive home, I felt like shit. Like some desperate creep who couldn't even get the attention when paying for it ... and then you feel distrustful and angry. I've had many amazing experiences with amazing women and I'm telling myself that not everyone is like that ... but so hard to get it out of your head. Makes me hesitant to see other providers.

And of course today, a provider I tried to initially contact texted me telling me she was coming into town and on top of that sent me a couple of unsolicited photos of herself. Of course I want to see her but after getting my wallet and ego bruised so recently, I'm gun-shy to see someone else so quickly. Have you had this happen to you? What do you do to get yourself back on the horse? I know I could always see a provider I've already had a great experience with, but my favorites have mostly retired (that and I love new girls and new experiences, just not bad ones)

Any advice?

First and foremost, STOP EXPECTING your experiences to all be AMAZING. Some you are going to mesh with and some you aren't going to mesh with, so I am going to share with you how I roll. I also love to see new talent but I never go into the session thinking its going to be AWESOME. I go with the flow and the vibe that I get at the time of the encounter. If the session is great, I will be back, if the session was a disaster, I won't return, its that simple. I normally won't take it out or show my disappointment, no need for all of that, have you seen how many others you can go and see, why even make a fuss BRO.........Oh and one more thing LOL, some don't see you as that handsome fella you once was my friend, therefore the PROVIDERS are HUMAN and on this day they didn't act well. Its no different than when we show up and the PROVIDER is not looking the way her advertised photos present, some of us turn around and leave or we just want to hurry up and get it over with. None of us are perfect, so write a review or get back in there with this one that just came to town.........Good luck  

[Kali Sensual Reiki]

Do something that makes you feel grounded and happy! Meditate, go for a walk, talk to a friend. Finding ways to self heal is healthy! Also, if depression lingers think about finding a counselor! There are many on line to choose from. To me it takes a strong person to admit that their life has become unmanageable and you are  needing help and seeking help also there is nothing wrong with taking anti depressants. Sorry if I am repeating other people’s comments and I am sure there are some very helpful people on here willing to share there opinions. I I wish you well! 🥰 Denver people are loving!! 

[ynglifter69]

Oh the stories I could tell.  Bait and switch, boyfriends coming home, pimps taking your money, jumping out a second story window naked, and oh a few sessions cut short by the provider.  Life goes on.  Fortunately the handful of truly incredible encounters make it all worthwhile.

[Savoir Faire]

16 hours ago, ynglifter69 said:

Oh the stories I could tell.  Bait and switch, boyfriends coming home, pimps taking your money, jumping out a second story window naked, and oh a few sessions cut short by the provider.  Life goes on.  Fortunately the handful of truly incredible encounters make it all worthwhile.

I would love to hear some of these stories........................I have been there and I so know the feeling as well. LOL @ jumping out of the window on the second floor naked. Reminds me of the one where I only had one way out, which was through these two HEAVYWEIGHTS and one had a lead pipe and the other had a .45.......

[ynglifter69]

Savoir I don’t know about you, but I feel like James Bond some days doing this.

[BBT-8367]

6 hours ago, Savoir Faire said:

I would love to hear some of these stories........................I have been there and I so know the feeling as well. LOL @ jumping out of the window on the second floor naked. Reminds me of the one where I only had one way out, which was through these two HEAVYWEIGHTS and one had a lead pipe and the other had a .45.......

I

 

22 hours ago, ynglifter69 said:

Oh the stories I could tell.  Bait and switch, boyfriends coming home, pimps taking your money, jumping out a second story window naked, and oh a few sessions cut short by the provider.  Life goes on.  Fortunately the handful of truly incredible encounters make it all worthwhile.

I would like to hear both of your stories. Maybe one of you should start a crazy stories thread and maybe each of you should include your top 3.  I don't have any such stories, nor would I want any.  Don't get me wrong, I love a good adrenalin rush, but not from the activities / situations that you describe above.  

[BBT-8367]

On 2/17/2022 at 2:55 PM, Savoir Faire said:

First and foremost, STOP EXPECTING your experiences to all be AMAZING. Some you are going to mesh with and some you aren't going to mesh with, so I am going to share with you how I roll. I also love to see new talent but I never go into the session thinking its going to be AWESOME. I go with the flow and the vibe that I get at the time of the encounter. If the session is great, I will be back, if the session was a disaster, I won't return, its that simple. I normally won't take it out or show my disappointment, no need for all of that, have you seen how many others you can go and see, why even make a fuss BRO.........Oh and one more thing LOL, some don't see you as that handsome fella you once was my friend, therefore the PROVIDERS are HUMAN and on this day they didn't act well. Its no different than when we show up and the PROVIDER is not looking the way her advertised photos present, some of us turn around and leave or we just want to hurry up and get it over with. None of us are perfect, so write a review or get back in there with this one that just came to town.........Good luck  

Savoir Fair is Everywhere!

With 240 reviews, you truly are "everywhere."  I get the sense that, unlike you, the OP does not have the budget for multiple frequent encounters. When he saves up for an experience, and it goes wrong, perhaps he can't just move on to the next one quickly without jeopardizing his financial situation. It could be that he just blew his wad for the next three or four months.

To the OP:

There is probably nothing anyone (including me) can tell you that you don't already know.  Try again.  However, if you're continually finding that the juice is not worth the squeeze, then it's time to look for other passions in life.  This may include new or improved relationships with friends or family, a real girlfriend, pets, and / or new  hobbies.   

Even if your next escort activity goes well for you, you should probably start to find some other passions in life. If you find one or two other things that you absolutely love doing,  and if they are activities that you can do daily, I am guessing that the escort thing will not be overly important to you.

 

 

[Savoir Faire]

7 hours ago, ynglifter69 said:

Savoir I don’t know about you, but I feel like James Bond some days doing this.

LOL......................You are going to have to be a little more specific before I sign off on that claim...........007 was the man...........

[Savoir Faire]

5 hours ago, BBT-8367 said:

I

 

I would like to hear both of your stories. Maybe one of you should start a crazy stories thread and maybe each of you should include your top 3.  I don't have any such stories, nor would I want any.  Don't get me wrong, I love a good adrenalin rush, but not from the activities / situations that you describe above.  

Its your idea, I think that you should work on getting your own stories so that you can be the STAR. Keep me posted and good luck.....

 

 

[cowboyching]

On 2/15/2022 at 0:24 PM, wglide2003 said:

When you get bucked off the horse, you need to climb back on. Just saying.

I can’t pass on by without a bucking horse story. I don’t have any grand wisdom. At the final analysis, I think it’s about how much fun you have telling or living your story. 🤪

Humor me. A few years ago, I bought a new mare because my favorite mare was pregnant and needed a break from riding. This new mare was as sweet as a horse gets. I climbed in the saddle without a thought of any problem. A few seconds later, and I was in the dirt. I was raised to get back on ASAP. Which I did, only with a bit different strategy, and a bit more cautious expectation. Amazingly...lol...the results were the same. 
 

I sent the mare to a bronc-riding trainer friend. After a few weeks, he assured me that we were ready to go for a ride...which we did. Four miles into the ride, the seemingly ‘cured’ mare caught me off-guard, and dumped me. Getting back on was instant. Within ten minutes she dumped me into a cactus patch. Back in the saddle, and making our way back to the trailer, she sent me airborne again. At this point...lol...I’m bruised and bleeding, but also determined. I know the very best for the mare is to not let her win. Before I climbed back on, though, I rigged a safety latch to give me more to hold my butt in the saddle. While I did ride the buck much further this time, it really only seemed to make her buck harder. Again, I went sailing. At this point we are getting near to the horse trailer, and I climb back on. I’m not sure that I would call it a win...lol...but we made it back to the trailer, where I dismounted on my terms. 
 

I kept extracting cactus for days and contemplated. I finally sold the mare. No anger. No excuses. My sales pitch was, “I’m not cowboy enough to ride this mare.” A true statement (obviously) that caught the attention of more than a few egos. I never heard how she did at her new home.  
 

I’ve ridden thousands of miles since and rode out a few bucking tantrums, and have also been dumped along the way. Again...no words of wisdom here from me. Get back on? Don’t get back on? It’s your call. There’s little glory in seeing the raised bet in poker with a few extra chips only to learn your good hand wasn’t enough. There’s also no shame in folding before you lose more. I say the best strategy is a toothy grin...no matter what. 🤪

Edited February 20, 2022 by cowboyching

[Skg]

My last appointment I used Tryst. I experienced what 3G means. Get in, get off, get out. She was a little rude from meeting me outside at the gate to when I left. She was hot so I finished quick. When finished she told me to get dressed and picked up her phone to do some banking. My 30 minute appointment turned into 15 minutes. I was not in Denver so no providers on TOB in this city. I can only do this hobby twice a year now, so spend many hours looking for the best experience I can afford. I’m getting older so need to improvise at times to fill the hour. 

[Skg]

Btw… since we’re in this topic of time with a provider, a sex worker friend told me most the guys get off in a few minutes and it’s done. Therefore, most her time is companionship, cuddling and talking. Is it really over for most in 2 minutes or so?  I was shocked she said this. I suppose only the ladies can answer this. I’m really curious. 

[stevie-2249]

If you look at reviews there are hardly any bad ones anymore, maybe once a month you’ll see a so so review but never bad,

[Danielle Rae]

2 hours ago, stevie-2249 said:

If you look at reviews there are hardly any bad ones anymore, maybe once a month you’ll see a so so review but never bad,

I've noticed this too and frankly, find it quite interesting.  There is a considerable difference in the amount of negative or so-so reviews which naturally makes me question the "legit factor."  TOB has always been the place to find a better percentage of legit providers but there was always the handful of "bad apples"   I suppose it's possible that the bad seeds were finally weeded out but still makes me go 'hmmmm?"  LOL

[sb1212]

Since I have never had a truly bad TOB experience I can only speculate, so here goes.  Several possibilities for the absence of negative reviews: 

1. TOB is blessed with an extremely high percentage of high quality companions, and the "bad seeds" have, in fact, been weeded out

2.  Hobbyists who have a bad experience are reluctant to write a negative review for fear of some lm level of retribution/black listing. 

3. Hobbyists who have a bad experience just want to move along, or are willing to accept that maybe it was them, not her. 

[MrReindeer-9515]

8 hours ago, stevie-2249 said:

If you look at reviews there are hardly any bad ones anymore, maybe once a month you’ll see a so so review but never bad,

This is not entirely true, but…

There is a way to search reviews by rating there are a couple for the K Vega/Winter K(one each) fiasco, but the rest of the “rip off” section has maybe 1-2 for the last couple years which could well be due to Covid and lock downs. The no-shows are about the same for the amount that I had the patience to review(about 10 pages).