Posted August 29, 2014 During a session this week a provider asked me if I was married. I answered her but found the question a taboo topic of conversation during session. If Iwere married it would change the whole tone of the evening. Has this happened to anyone else 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 29, 2014 During a session this week a provider asked me if I was married. I answered her but found the question a taboo topic of conversation during session. If Iwere married it would change the whole tone of the evening. Has this happened to anyone else Not sure of the context in which she asked; straight forward or for clarification based off a comment you made. I can't speak for her, but I know I've asked before as a clarifier (never straight forward w/o a "lead in") based off the conversation we were having. And this was only because he wasn't wearing his ring. (not sure why you guys take them off anyways, doesn't matter if you keep them on) I assume everyone of the hobby dwellers are taken until you state otherwise. If you bring it up, then so be it. I take mental note of that so if I'm reaching out to you later for a follow up confirmation of an appt then I know I may not hear back during certain hours of the day. We all have home lives. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 29, 2014 The less said about marital status or employment the better. There was an ASP not that long ago who would use that information against clients and make their lives miserable. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 29, 2014 I've had a few providers ask if I was married. I didn't find it taboo. I am married and I didn't feel like it changed the tone of the session. Most of their clients are probably married so I'm guessing it no big deal to them. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 29, 2014 It is taboo with me. I do not need to be reminded. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 29, 2014 I agree with Justina... it just depends on the context, and what was being discussed. I don't ask unless it comes up, and surprisingly it does come up a lot. It has not bearing or presumptions for me though. We've talked about this before, but sometimes we really are like doctors. And in certain scenarios it helps to have some background to create the best experience. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 29, 2014 There needs to be a third option of, "It doesn't much matter to me what she asks me." ...Happy Hobbying... ...Crazy Horse... 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 29, 2014 On a similar subject but going the other way, I once was told by a provider that my question creeped her out and she wouldn't see me anymore. What I asked? "I know you're only 20 but have you had kids?" What I meant? "Do you have stretch marks and sagging breasts?" Somehow I don't think she would have liked the real question either. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 29, 2014 ;378577']On a similar subject but going the other way' date=' I once was told by a provider that my question creeped her out and she wouldn't see me anymore. What I asked? "I know you're only 20 but have you had kids?" What I meant? [b']"Do you have stretch marks and sagging breasts?" Somehow I don't think she would have liked the real question either. I prefer married men. So they won't and can't take me home. Juice is the master! When I step outside my ride, this girl get served. I do love younger men too who are not married. Lol I could careless if your married. Its not important to me. None of my business. Im not interested in sticking my nose where it don't blong. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 29, 2014 I also agree with Justina and Holly. I wouldn't ask about it if it wasn't a natural question to ask- but sometimes it seems like a question my client *wants* me to ask, and so I do. I'm married too, and pretty open about it, so no judgments. When I ask if a client is married it's simply so that the conversation can go that way if the client seems like they want it to. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 29, 2014 Most providers don't give two shits about guys being married. But hey, there are guys who have been outed to the wives for booking the wrong girl. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 29, 2014 There needs to be a third option of, "It doesn't much matter to me what she asks me." I agree with this^^^ 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 29, 2014 In terms of personal disclosure (sexuality excluded), I treat my ASP encounters much like an encounter with anyone else I just met. Having no context for her question, (other than your self-described discomfort), I'm more likely to wonder about the nature of your discomfort. Personally, I couldn't care less what she asks me. After 7 years on this site, my impression is that all too frequently and despite protestations to the contrary, some guys really are looking for love, a gf(e) or at a minimum confirmation that they are really, truly attractive to hot girls and the hourly arrangement is just a detail. If anything, unless you initiated the topic, her initiation of it was, in my opinion a tactical scripting error on her part (assuming part of the ASP job description is to help a guy feel comfortable). If you are married, maybe the question reminded you of something uncomfortable (for example, perhaps you have unresolved feelings about lying to and cheating on someone you promised to honor) or if you're single, perhaps she reminded you that you haven't been laid by a volunteer without a face or a figure better than a double coyote in years, if ever. I only say this because I don't know you. On the other hand, maybe you really are attractive to her and she was checking out her options. Beats me. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 29, 2014 And this was only because he wasn't wearing his ring. (not sure why you guys take them off anyways, doesn't matter if you keep them on) Because denial ain't just a river. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 29, 2014 You do not need to answer questions that you feel are inappropriate just as she is not if you were to ask the same. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 29, 2014 I wouldn't ask about it if it wasn't a natural question to ask- but sometimes it seems like a question my client *wants* me to ask, and so I do..... When I ask if a client is married it's simply so that the conversation can go that way if the client seems like they want it to. One of the hallmarks of a professional companion. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 29, 2014 I don't think it is an inherently inappropriate question. I volunteered the information with my first ever lady, and she was more helpful than a psychologist, giving all kinds of advice that was welcomed. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 29, 2014 I agree with Happymon, rather than making a list of do’s and don’ts it would be better to figure out why this question bothered you. People who are comfortable in their skin usually don’t get rattled that easily. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 29, 2014 How about " what do you do for a living?" That's another question I felt intrusive. But what the heck the provider might just want to break the ice and start a convo. I'd change the topic (or tell them the opposite) if I don't like been asked. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 29, 2014 I don't care what questions are asked. If it's inappropriate I'll say so. I'd rather the conversation go smoothly. Obviously, "whats your bank account?" would be inappropriate, as well as a few others. It, again is a subjective item. My inappropriate is going to be different than others. I get that and it really should be that way. I like to have communication, others could care less. Mounds and Almond Joy don't you know. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 29, 2014 Not sure of the context agree, context is everything in which she asked; straight forward or for clarification based off a comment you made. I can't speak for her, but I know I've asked before as a clarifier (never straight forward w/o a "lead in") based off the conversation we were having. And this was only because he wasn't wearing his ring. (not sure why you guys take them off anyways, doesn't matter if you keep them on) some of us don't have one - not married I assume everyone of the hobby dwellers are taken until you state otherwise. If you bring it up, then so be it. I take mental note of that so if I'm reaching out to you later for a follow up confirmation of an appt then I know I may not hear back during certain hours of the day. We all have home lives. If she asks a question I am not comfy with, I just decline to answer. Sometimes a lady is just trying make a better connection and in my book that is fine and sure beats "How you like this rain?" and "How bout those Rockies?" (Unless of course she really IS a baseball fan and knows whereof she speaks!!) 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 30, 2014 If she asks a question I am not comfy with, I just decline to answer. Sometimes a lady is just trying make a better connection and in my book that is fine and sure beats "How you like this rain?" and "How bout those Rockies?" (Unless of course she really IS a baseball fan and knows whereof she speaks!!) THIS!! Nothing is "out of bounds" -- If I do not want to answer, I will not:) 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 30, 2014 Here's one What that smell? 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 30, 2014 During a session this week a provider asked me if I was married. I answered her but found the question a taboo topic of conversation during session. If Iwere married it would change the whole tone of the evening. Has this happened to anyone else That's a pretty vanilla question. My advice would be to get over it. If she had asked if you like a girl to shit in your mouth, that would be worth a post. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 30, 2014 Of course you are married/buried! Why else would you be there? 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 30, 2014 I get asked that all the time. I never feel awkward just seems like its a person just trying to make sence of the situation. Just kind of like a way to figure a person out. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 31, 2014 "Am I married?" This is a question I would feel funny about answering. Am I married? To my job? Yes! To someone else? Uhhh... Unless you're proposing, I'm not supposing... 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 31, 2014 I get this question periodically, but not usually on the first meeting, and not usually from the younger providers (<30 yrs old). I'm sure the younger ones have no interest in whether or not I am and probably assume that I am. The women that I see regularly are more mature and have become friends. We have wide-ranging conversations. Many times the topic of marraige comes up when the question is asked about how I got started in the hobby. I like a woman who is thoughtful and interested in me to learn what makes me tick, besides my obvious interest in sex. I know a lot about the lives of the regulars I see, maybe because they see me as a client/friend. I don't ever recall being asked a question I thought was inappropriate, but I'm not sensitive like that. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 31, 2014 (edited) I started out always taking off my ring before my appointment and still do--and not because I don't want the provider to know I'm married, because I know it doesn't matter to them. I take it off because I don't want to be reminded of this when I'm in doggie and have my hands on her ass Edited August 31, 2014 by gettin' up there Typo 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 31, 2014 I started out always taking off my ring before my appointment and still do--and not because I don't want the provider to know I'm married' date=' because I know it doesn't matter to them. I take it off because I don't want to be reminded of this when I'm in doggie and have my hands on her ass [/quote'] I always figured that was the case!! 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites