To Review or not To Review

[DenverNative91]

Colorado Companion

I had an unfortunate experience today and I'm really not certain what to do with it.  I had a scheduled appointment with an established provider, which we confirmed yesterday.   I was expecting a text today, with directions/address etc. but that never came.  I decided to head in her general direction, which was stated in the ad, and I sent a text 30 minutes before the session asking for directions.  She did reply about 10 minutes later with an address to an office building.  I thanked her, told her I wasn't far away and would see her soon, to which she didn't reply (though I didn't give that much thought in real time).   I then texted a couple of minutes before the scheduled start time, to let her know I was there and ready, and was expecting the final directions and/or unit number, and again didn't hear back from her.  I waited for 15 minutes and then made the decision to leave.  I really don't know what the right answer is on how long you wait without correspondence, but at that point I'd already lost a quarter of the scheduled session time.   

I heard from her shortly after I left via text to say that she was there.  I replied that I waited for several minutes and assumed something came up when I didn't hear back, so I left.  She wasn't very happy, which I can understand, but at the same time it was over 30 minutes between the texts I received from her.  She then sent me a series of texts saying that I had lied about being there at all, lied about when I left, that I was a no call, no show, and quit replying to her texts.  Finally, she said that she was going to send my contact information to the other ladies, so they wouldn't book with me.  

I am not a super active participant in the hobby, but enjoy it a few times a year, and I would hate to see that end.  Furthermore, I understand that this person does this for a living, and I don't want to leave a bad review over an unfortunate series of events.  I know there was no malice on my part, and I genuinely don't think there was on her side.  :-( 

With that said, I am curious if anyone has had a similar experience or advice on the best way to handle this?  

 

 

[gr8owl]

Wait ....... she gave you the address to an office building and you waited outside an office building?  Something must be missing here.  

Not sure what you are hoping for at this point - are you asking how to avoid this in the future (seems not) or how to repair a bad situation with the one lady?  Assuming the latter it does sound like a case of massively bad communication on both parts.  If that is accurate text or email (her preferred method) an apology and offer to meet halfway and pay at least half the original appointment plus going rate for another one more skillfully scheduled. May not get a response, may work.  Perhaps someone has a better idea. 

 

[tide32]

It depend on what you would consider reputable. It's just your word against hers and If she did her research on you, would she consider you reputable. People are funny these days and make quick judgments on others. May-be she'll read this and respond. Either way, your on her naughty list. I'd like to hear what one of the ladies think about it. We're men and use to being in the doghouse. LOL

[Mustang87]

12 hours ago, gr8owl said:

Wait ....... she gave you the address to an office building and you waited outside an office building?  Something must be missing here.  

Not sure what you are hoping for at this point - are you asking how to avoid this in the future (seems not) or how to repair a bad situation with the one lady?  Assuming the latter it does sound like a case of massively bad communication on both parts.  If that is accurate text or email (her preferred method) an apology and offer to meet halfway and pay at least half the original appointment plus going rate for another one more skillfully scheduled. May not get a response, may work.  Perhaps someone has a better idea. 

 

I've seen ladies who've rented space in an office building, so that, in itself would not have been a concern to me. I think the crux of the question here is, how long should you wait past an appointment time once you've confirmed and been given the location. Based on what the op said, he waited 15 minutes in silence before leaving, then heard from her shortly there after. Is 15 minutes long enough? Should he have waited longer? I remember waiting that long once and having the lady reach out and apologize that her message to me with the room number was still in her out box and she thought she had hit send. She was actually about to give up on me. Was this just a miscommunication? I've also waited much longer than that and left disappointed. It is a shame that they both were so close together at the same time and both left disappointed.

[DenverNative91]

3 minutes ago, Mustang87 said:

I've seen ladies who've rented space in an office building, so that, in itself would not have been a concern to me. I think the crux of the question here is, how long should you wait past an appointment time once you've confirmed and been given the location. Based on what the op said, he waited 15 minutes in silence before leaving, then heard from her shortly there after. Is 15 minutes long enough? Should he have waited longer? I remember waiting that long once and having the lady reach out and apologize that her message to me with the room number was still in her out box and she thought she had hit send. She was actually about to give up on me. Was this just a miscommunication? I've also waited much longer than that and left disappointed. It is a shame that they both were so close together at the same time and both left disappointed.

Yes, you nailed it.  What is the general consensus on how long you should wait to see someone, when you're not receiving any communication.  It's particularly tricky when it's a first meeting.  You're either going to have a rushed, much shorter than planned session, or you can extend time at the end...if both parties have a buffer...but you don't know those answers without communication.  

[ilovewomen]

After reading the original post, I do have some questions.

She gave you and address to go to which turned out to be an office building. Typically an office building meeting would mean you are there for a massage. I would not expect anything more than a massage except maybe a HE or BJ.

After she told you that you were never at her locations, did you verify with her the address she sent you to was the correct address?

Did you go to the address she sent you to?

Is the lady in question on TOB?

Did you keep a record of the text exchange?

In regard on how long to wait, 15-20 minutes is reasonable. She may be freshening up after an appointment.  She may have been on her way to the appointment location.  Ladies don't sit at their incalls all day just waiting on us.  They have other things in life to do to.

If you can answer yes about the verification of the address and that you were at the address she sent you to, then you should do a no-show review of her.  She will have a chance to give a rebuttal if she so chooses to.

Just be sure that if you do write a no-show review, you can support what you say. If you can't support what you write...don't say it.

 

[inkspot]

I had a similar experience as yours.  Got to the building and waited and waited, then left.  I later figured out that the location I was sent to did not have cell coverage for my carrier.  Hence, I never received the information until later when within cell coverage.  We both were less than happy. 

[DenverNative91]

It's funny that you mention that, as I had a similar concern, but I did in fact, have service. 

[sb1212]

In retrospect, perhaps you should have sent a polite text (assuming you had cell service) at the 15 minute wait point indicating you would wait 5 more minutes. So, now she is threatening to black list you.  You only have 4 reviews and a handful of Forum posts- not a strong/highly credible reputation, so a black list designation might be a problem. I think you should post a NCNS review as a self defense mechanism, but I don't know if TOB admins will allow it. Not sure if it meets all the qualifications since you never received an exact location (suite/ room number Good luck!

[Savoir Faire]

23 hours ago, DenverNative91 said:

I had an unfortunate experience today and I'm really not certain what to do with it.  I had a scheduled appointment with an established provider, which we confirmed yesterday.   I was expecting a text today, with directions/address etc. but that never came.  I decided to head in her general direction, which was stated in the ad, and I sent a text 30 minutes before the session asking for directions.  She did reply about 10 minutes later with an address to an office building.  I thanked her, told her I wasn't far away and would see her soon, to which she didn't reply (though I didn't give that much thought in real time).   I then texted a couple of minutes before the scheduled start time, to let her know I was there and ready, and was expecting the final directions and/or unit number, and again didn't hear back from her.  I waited for 15 minutes and then made the decision to leave.  I really don't know what the right answer is on how long you wait without correspondence, but at that point I'd already lost a quarter of the scheduled session time.   

I heard from her shortly after I left via text to say that she was there.  I replied that I waited for several minutes and assumed something came up when I didn't hear back, so I left.  She wasn't very happy, which I can understand, but at the same time it was over 30 minutes between the texts I received from her.  She then sent me a series of texts saying that I had lied about being there at all, lied about when I left, that I was a no call, no show, and quit replying to her texts.  Finally, she said that she was going to send my contact information to the other ladies, so they wouldn't book with me.  

I am not a super active participant in the hobby, but enjoy it a few times a year, and I would hate to see that end.  Furthermore, I understand that this person does this for a living, and I don't want to leave a bad review over an unfortunate series of events.  I know there was no malice on my part, and I genuinely don't think there was on her side.  :-( 

With that said, I am curious if anyone has had a similar experience or advice on the best way to handle this?  

 

 

Native when you got the text saying that she was there, why didn't you return, according to you, you had just left? 

[oldguy47]

On 12/15/2022 at 4:35 PM, DenverNative91 said:

If everything you say is what happened then you did nothing wrong. She could have sent a text explaining there was a delay. You could have sent a text when you were leaving saying that you could no longer wait and wished her well or something. There is no rule on how long either party should wait for such an appointment. Given the risks involved anything that doesn't go normal is reason to abort. Write a review if you wish. Any future companion you try to meet could see your side of the story in the review. 

 

 

 

[oldguy47]

4 hours ago, oldguy47 said:

 

Sorry for putting words in your mouth above DenverNative91. Those were not meant to appear within the quoted section - just F'd up.

[CountryGentleman]

I will wait no more than 10 minutes after the appointment time with no comms.  One time I learned my lesson... 

I had been texting the lady to coordinate.  I texted before I left, the drive was about 30 mins, and when I parked I sent the "I'm here" type text 5 mins before the appt..  No reply.  Waited 10 mins and sent another.  5 mins later, I decided to give her a call, which woke her up...  I should've moved on at that point but didn't.  30 mins later, she was finally ready and it turned out to be the worst experience I've had in the hobby.

Determined right there that if she's that nonchalant about comms, we probably won't be compatible and set the 10 minute rule for myself.

Now, the title of this thread is about whether you should review...  I probably wouldn't because there's so many factors that could've caused the issues.   I've decided for myself that I'm only going to give a bad review if there's a NCNS or serious problem like she tries to blackmail me or something.

Edited December 18, 2022 by CountryGentleman

[DenverNative91]

14 hours ago, oldguy47 said:

Sorry for putting words in your mouth above DenverNative91. Those were not meant to appear within the quoted section - just F'd up.

Haha, no worries!  I appreciate your perspective and advice.  

[DenverNative91]

14 hours ago, CountryGentleman said:

I will wait no more than 10 minutes after the appointment time with no comms.  One time I learned my lesson... 

I had been texting the lady to coordinate.  I texted before I left, the drive was about 30 mins, and when I parked I sent the "I'm here" type text 5 mins before the appt..  No reply.  Waited 10 mins and sent another.  5 mins later, I decided to give her a call, which woke her up...  I should've moved on at that point but didn't.  30 mins later, she was finally ready and it turned out to be the worst experience I've had in the hobby.

Determined right there that if she's that nonchalant about comms, we probably won't be compatible and set the 10 minute rule for myself.

Now, the title of this thread is about whether you should review...  I probably wouldn't because there's so many factors that could've caused the issues.   I've decided for myself that I'm only going to give a bad review if there's a NCNS or serious problem like she tries to blackmail me or something.

Thanks for the comments.  I've come to the same conclusion and will just chalk it up to "life".  

[Hobby Hobbit -Banned]

Depending on perceived risk, be it in a parking lot, on the street, or wherever we are instructed to dutifully wait, sitting in your car for any period of time is unbearable, and fifteen minutes of your equally valuable time in limbo is not just hella inconsiderate, but more than enough. Perhaps it's because I assume you have better things to do than come here to make up wild shit about your experience with an unknown provider, TOB or otherwise, or because it's happened to me, and others but, for what it's worth, I believe you were there, that it went down exactly as you said, and I thank you for sharing.

A great segue to the question that is, should you review or not review is the classic move that is her making it your fault, threatening to blacklist, etc. Don't you hate that shit? Sure you're not the only one to have this experience with this "established provider", please share your review and spare the next hapless guy with better things to do than tolerate bullshit. Not all are deserving of that honor.

Edited December 19, 2022 by Hobby Hobbit

[shy_n_quiet]

When I first started the hobby where TOB is my only source of scheduling with providers, I hesitated to share so-so/bad reviews/experiences because I felt that it would count against me when my future potential providers review my profile. 

 

Regarding waiting time.  10 minutes waiting passed the appointment time is my limit.  I send text 15 minutes prior to the appointment.  If no response, I text again at the appointment time.  If no response 10 minutes after the appointment time, I text again saying I'm leaving.

[BigBaldBlk]

I think most guys feel awkward about posting a negative review, but ... your post is actually a pretty good review of your experience.  All that's missing is the ladies name.   If she is an established provider she'll want to make it right, if what you say is true.  If her perception/truth is different than yours, if posting a review is still an option, she'll have a chance to rebut like previously stated.  Definitely appears communication was lacking on her part.

The fact she reached out before your time together and then didn't respond until after you left would piss me off and would be tough for me to want to book with her again. To me, there's no benefit of posting a review.  

[coolhand luke]

Things happen.  Maybe why she did not respond right away was for personal reasons or getting ready for you.   Yes it might have been nicer for her to respond to you text could she have been in the bathroom in the shower.   I have been at this for awhile and have had my share of waiting.   My personal time for waiting is 20 minutes unless she has contacted me and told me she was running late.   I did have a lady return my text about 25 minutes after our appt. time and she said she was sorry but had fallen asleep.   I did then turn around as I had only been gone for a short time and she more than made it up to me. 

I recently had an experience when I was going to see well reviewed lady for the first time.   I had a business appt. not far from her and told her the approximate time I would be through and she said that would be fine and to call her when I was through.  I did so and she gave me the address.  I had a hard time finding the place on my gps.  I texted her that as she does not answer phone calls..  When I did get there and texted her i finally heard back 15 minutes or so later and she said we never really had an appt. and she was sure I was not going to be there so she never left her place.  I asked her what are we going to do.   @10 minutes later she texted back and said she wasn't in the mood.   So I went over my time limit of 20 and drove the 2.5 hour unsatisfied drive home.    

[Hobby Hobbit -Banned]

I do want to add, between were you even there, how's your reputation, were you polite, why didn't you go back, are you sure it wasn't something else, how's your reputation, what if she dings you, did you wash, does your mom approve...you begging ass dudes are enough to make a grown man cry out LOUD! GET A WIFE! FUUUUCCCKKK!  🤣

[tide32]

41 minutes ago, Hobby Hobbit said:

I do want to add, between were you even there, how's your reputation, were you polite, why didn't you go back, are you sure it wasn't something else, how's your reputation, what if she dings you, did you wash, does your mom approve...you begging ass dudes are enough to make a grown man cry out LOUD! GET A WIFE! FUUUUCCCKKK!  🤣

What's with the profanity!!! I'm offended now!! 

[Hobby Hobbit -Banned]

1 hour ago, tide32 said:

What's with the profanity!!! I'm offended now!! 

LMAO! I meant, my bad. I take all the profanity back 🤥 .

[Hobby Hobbit -Banned]

On 12/21/2022 at 4:31 AM, BigBaldBlk said:

I think most guys feel awkward about posting a negative review, but ... your post is actually a pretty good review of your experience.  All that's missing is the ladies name.   If she is an established provider she'll want to make it right, if what you say is true.  If her perception/truth is different than yours, if posting a review is still an option, she'll have a chance to rebut like previously stated.  Definitely appears communication was lacking on her part.

The fact she reached out before your time together and then didn't respond until after you left would piss me off and would be tough for me to want to book with her again. To me, there's no benefit of posting a review.  

True that, Blk. Which really begs the question, how good is she? I mean, when I see a guy with a bazillion YES's and like, two eh's I'm thinking, liar! And this thread confirms, there's a lot of that going on.

Edited December 22, 2022 by Hobby Hobbit

[Hobby Hobbit -Banned]

10 hours ago, Hobby Hobbit said:

True that, Blk. Which really begs the question, how good is she? I mean, when I see a guy with a bazillion YES's and like, two eh's I'm thinking, liar! And this thread confirms, there's a lot of that going on.

And I don't mean nutting good - any five fingers might do there but, make you feel special good. One way to sexplain it is this one time after wandering around an office building looking for her "studio", I walked in one minute late to this provider who opened the door looking at her phone. Barely looking up from it when I walked in, she closes the door behind me and instructs me to set the donation here, nods to the table there. I looked at it, then her fine, stank ass, and walked right up outta there! Of course, she texted what looked like panties in a knot and when I mentioned the reason, she responds with: how late I was, blah-blah-blah, the dreaded blacklist, spare panties in a knot. Not a TOB provider, I did not review.

Another was a very well established and well-reviewed TOB provider who, advertising FBSM only, I would ALWAYS drool yet pass on here then, suddenly the clouds parted when I saw her on another site advertising both FS and FBSM, with rates! Recognizing her tattooed, buxom, gorgeous physique, little head screamed, NOW'S YOUR TIME, BRO while big head screamed, these hoes ain't loyal but, can we ask such things? Fuck it, dummy! Said little head so, there I was, TCB on the west side of COS before I knew it and, when I asked for clarity before jumping out of my shorts she said, "we'll work it out". Lost in her big blue eyes, that pretty face and coy smile, them gorgeous girls...donation done for, the next thing I knew I was returned from the moon landing on my back with a clear indication the visit was done, too. Sexpressing disappointment, she invites me back saying, "next time it's"...and out the door I went, never to be seen again.

And then there was this time in Thailand. I was in the bathroom freshening up when I heard a commotion from the room which,  never good, caused me to look under the bathroom door to see how many feet there were just in time to witness her prop what turned out to be a prosthetic leg up against the nightstand!! Thinking, WTF?! Big head said, TIME TO GO, BRO but little head said, fuck it dummy! And before I knew it, there I was, skipping my lou to the next adventure after getting my socks rocked!!! I'll never forget her walking in the other direction looking back at me with her big butt and a smile. With barely a limp, one would never know, that girl is one for the record books, no reviews necessary.

Edited December 22, 2022 by Hobby Hobbit

[Guest]

All kinds of Shit definitely happens in this crazy game. Lost cell service out front, misunderstood confirmations, pissed off providers, hangovers, last minute cancellations are all experienced here. Ive even had Waze direct me to a location 8 miles away.. I’ve never been to Thailand though, lol. I never review such experiences, however.

[Colorado Chef]

This type of event is more common than one may think.  Sometimes it's simply bad communication, poor time management, or a technical glitch. Then other times it's behavioral.    Given that the provider quickly went to the attack with blacklist/DNS I'm going to lean towards a behavioral event.  Even if you decided to return, I'm willing to believe that the session would be less than positive.

My rule of thumb is that if I don't hear anything after 20 minutes post appointment time then I'm done. I don't send anything that could be perceived as confrontational.  I don't want friction.  Often, I'll send a what happened? text after I get home.  I've had a well-know/reviewed lady who didn't wake up in time for the appointment.  I was fine with that, but I wasn't going to wait the 3 hours she requested for her to get ready.  We simply picked another day.  I've also had people simply just ghost me, and then later tell me that I could pack sand.  Rest assured, there was no plans to reschedule with her.

I fully agree with BigBaldBLK that writing a negative review really doesn't benefit you, and has the potential to paint you negatively, in some peoples' eyes, even if that isn't your intent.  Words on a screen don't always convey the true context of what you mean.

As for the office building, I knew several providers when I was back east who would direct you to an intermediate location, close to their location before sending you the actual final address.  Often time that location was visible from their in-call location, and they could see you.  Just my thoughts.

[BoulderB]

On 12/16/2022 at 7:53 AM, DenverNative91 said:

Yes, you nailed it.  What is the general consensus on how long you should wait to see someone, when you're not receiving any communication.  It's particularly tricky when it's a first meeting.  You're either going to have a rushed, much shorter than planned session, or you can extend time at the end...if both parties have a buffer...but you don't know those answers without communication.  

I waited an hour outside a hotel once.  Texted multiple times upon arrival after confirming with the provider an hour or so before the appointment.  Never got another response from her that day.  Then a week or two later she reached out asking if I wanted to book a visit.  Told her to F-off in the text, but didn't review her. 

[Elle Blake]

On 12/15/2022 at 4:35 PM, DenverNative91 said:

I had an unfortunate experience today and I'm really not certain what to do with it.  I had a scheduled appointment with an established provider, which we confirmed yesterday.   I was expecting a text today, with directions/address etc. but that never came.  I decided to head in her general direction, which was stated in the ad, and I sent a text 30 minutes before the session asking for directions.  She did reply about 10 minutes later with an address to an office building.  I thanked her, told her I wasn't far away and would see her soon, to which she didn't reply (though I didn't give that much thought in real time).   I then texted a couple of minutes before the scheduled start time, to let her know I was there and ready, and was expecting the final directions and/or unit number, and again didn't hear back from her.  I waited for 15 minutes and then made the decision to leave.  I really don't know what the right answer is on how long you wait without correspondence, but at that point I'd already lost a quarter of the scheduled session time.   

I heard from her shortly after I left via text to say that she was there.  I replied that I waited for several minutes and assumed something came up when I didn't hear back, so I left.  She wasn't very happy, which I can understand, but at the same time it was over 30 minutes between the texts I received from her.  She then sent me a series of texts saying that I had lied about being there at all, lied about when I left, that I was a no call, no show, and quit replying to her texts.  Finally, she said that she was going to send my contact information to the other ladies, so they wouldn't book with me.  

I am not a super active participant in the hobby, but enjoy it a few times a year, and I would hate to see that end.  Furthermore, I understand that this person does this for a living, and I don't want to leave a bad review over an unfortunate series of events.  I know there was no malice on my part, and I genuinely don't think there was on her side.  :-( 

With that said, I am curious if anyone has had a similar experience or advice on the best way to handle this?  

 

 

No show review. Period.  End of story.

[tide32]

On 12/21/2022 at 9:33 PM, Hobby Hobbit said:

True that, Blk. Which really begs the question, how good is she? I mean, when I see a guy with a bazillion YES's and like, two eh's I'm thinking, liar! And this thread confirms, there's a lot of that going on.

It could be the bazillian guys standards ,may not be that high. But to say liar is a little rough. We're all adults here and we know how the game is played. We sometimes go along, to, get along. Doesn't matter what anyone says out loud, writing a bad review, always has consequences and we all know it.  

[Alex Majors]

I send a few texts. One that I am inbound and how long it will take to drive. One that I am there. If I don't get a text 15 min after the appointment was supposed to start, I text that I am leaving.

Now her threats of black listing you would make me post a review. No one needs to have that happen to them.

If you stay in the hobby long enough, this will happen eventually. I have been ghosted and then she called hours later. One excuse was she forgot she  had community service. I have spent a few nights in rooms by myself. No shows.  One I had the room number and I was standing in the hall knocking. After a couple minutes, I called. I could hear her phone ring but still no answer. A day or two later she told me she fell asleep.