Gun Shy after a Bad Experience

[Danielle Rae]

10 hours ago, pluto said:

The first lady I saw told me her apartment number but she gave me the wrong one... maybe because she was rushing and forgot about me coming :/ and the number she gave me turned out to be a door that was wide open (I thought she just left it open for me) I had some kind of nudge to not walk in... and thank god I didn't because it turned out to be someone elses apartment... Sometimes I imagine what would have happened if I followed through and walked in there. It wasn't a good first experience to say the least.

This reminds me of a time several years ago when I showed up to a downtown hotel in the middle of the night for an outcall.  I finally found an open meter to park (I hate downtown parking) and proceeded into the hotel and up to the room number that gent had given to me.  After knocking for about 2 minutes, this poor old man (had to be over 80) opens the door at the same the door directly across the hall opens and the gent from the other side of the hall whispers my name.  I apologized to the poor old dude I just rudely woke up and swiftly ducked into the room across the hall where the guy admits to purposely giving me the wrong room number because he was tired of women showing up that looked nothing like their photos! WTF??   He figured this way he would be able to peek through his peep hole on the door to see whether or not he was gonna accept the "date!"   NOT COOL but somewhat understandable I suppose?.  It was definitely an awkward tone to start the date with...

[ilovewomen]

9 hours ago, Danielle Rae said:

This reminds me of a time several years ago when I showed up to a downtown hotel in the middle of the night for an outcall.  I finally found an open meter to park (I hate downtown parking) and proceeded into the hotel and up to the room number that gent had given to me.  After knocking for about 2 minutes, this poor old man (had to be over 80) opens the door at the same the door directly across the hall opens and the gent from the other side of the hall whispers my name.  I apologized to the poor old dude I just rudely woke up and swiftly ducked into the room across the hall where the guy admits to purposely giving me the wrong room number because he was tired of women showing up that looked nothing like their photos! WTF??   He figured this way he would be able to peek through his peep hole on the door to see whether or not he was gonna accept the "date!"   NOT COOL but somewhat understandable I suppose?.  It was definitely an awkward tone to start the date with...

Not cool and not acceptable for a guy or a lady to do this.

[Brad_B]

On 2/21/2022 at 7:48 AM, stevie-2249 said:

If you look at reviews there are hardly any bad ones anymore, maybe once a month you’ll see a so so review but never bad,

I can honestly say I’ve had mostly great experiences because of the research I do. However, sometimes you do get a bad experience for whatever reason. I once choose to post a negative review and the provider left a completely false rebuttal about me. So for this I stoped reviews all together. So I think most guys prefer to stay away from posting a less than positive review. I know I do. 

[Mustang87]

On 2/15/2022 at 0:14 PM, mdallasfun said:

I've been in the hobby for almost 10 years now and in the past have been very active. Nowadays it's very few and far between and have always done plenty of research and chosen well reviewed providers but recently had a terrible experience. Read enough reviews and you'll see it's kind of common-place, even for well established providers: the rushed 1/2 hour when you donated for an hour. This is truly one of the worst things a provider can do to a client. Most of the time, the actual main-event is secondary to the experience as a whole. As a client and as a man, we want to feel desired and attractive and feel worth the providers time. Many men don't have that validation at home and spend several $$$ in donations to feel that from a beautiful, sexy and kind woman. So for a provider to rush through 1/2 hour of companionship when the donation was paid for an hour, goes beyond feeling ripped-off money-wise, but is quite the blow to confidence and ego (the very thing we want to help by spending time w/ a hot companion). Figured since I don't like to write negative reviews, I'll ask the forum for advice.

Like I said I did my research and the provider was well-established with only one negative review and most hour reviews specified msog. I was kind and respectful upon entering but got rushed vibes 5-10 minutes in. She explained that there would only be one round and as disappointed as I was, I didn't argue or put up a fuss. I tried to last longer than I normally would in a msog environment, but was quickly told to stop slowing myself down and to just finish. Afterwards she handed me towel, put on clothes and lied on the other bed and played with her phone. I felt so low, like I was nothing - and on top of that, ended up paying more than her advertised 1/2 an hour. I wasn't rude at any point and not sure if she was having an off-day or what ...

Instead of being on Cloud 9 on my drive home, I felt like shit. Like some desperate creep who couldn't even get the attention when paying for it ... and then you feel distrustful and angry. I've had many amazing experiences with amazing women and I'm telling myself that not everyone is like that ... but so hard to get it out of your head. Makes me hesitant to see other providers.

And of course today, a provider I tried to initially contact texted me telling me she was coming into town and on top of that sent me a couple of unsolicited photos of herself. Of course I want to see her but after getting my wallet and ego bruised so recently, I'm gun-shy to see someone else so quickly. Have you had this happen to you? What do you do to get yourself back on the horse? I know I could always see a provider I've already had a great experience with, but my favorites have mostly retired (that and I love new girls and new experiences, just not bad ones)

Any advice?

I have a bit of a different take on this than most. I to have had hundreds of great experiences thanks to TOB and this hobby in general, but I've had a couple of clunkers too. One to two similar to what the OP is describing. My advise is to take a little break from the hobby. Jumping back in too quick and having another bad experience could really put a bad taste in your mouth. This hobby, any hobby, is supposed to be fun and relaxing.  When it stops being that, it might be time to step back and access things.  During your home work, and diligent research, are essential, but they don't guarantee you'll have a good experience. When it's happens to me I have found what is best is to stay away until I really start to miss it. I'm talking about weeks, or a month or two at most, not giving things up. As soon as you start to miss it, and you will, and you'll know when the time is right, climb back in and get back to enjoying yourself again.

[Alex Majors]

Honestly, you have been initiated into the hobby.  Congrats. It is how we all learn. It happens to us all at one time or another. Like th e old saying goes, " If you pray for rain, you have to learn to deal with the mud".  I have met a lot of unknowns on the boards and now lately on SA.  It is a risk that sometimes ends as you have described. My last SA girl had me at the elevator in just 40 min.  It is a gamble I am willing to take, to find a girl that is a certain age and physical description. If you want a sure thing, do your research. Find someone that is consistant and is what you are looking for on the board. Time waits for no one. The longer you stay out of the game, the longer it takes to get back in.  I mean that sincerely. References do not last for long. The girl who could give you one,  might be out of the hobby and gone forever.

[tide32]

On 2/21/2022 at 1:30 PM, sb1212 said:

Since I have never had a truly bad TOB experience I can only speculate, so here goes.  Several possibilities for the absence of negative reviews: 

1. TOB is blessed with an extremely high percentage of high quality companions, and the "bad seeds" have, in fact, been weeded out

2.  Hobbyists who have a bad experience are reluctant to write a negative review for fear of some lm level of retribution/black listing. 

3. Hobbyists who have a bad experience just want to move along, or are willing to accept that maybe it was them, not her. 

I'll go with door number two. 

[parkercole]

On 2/15/2022 at 0:14 PM, mdallasfun said:

Any advice?

Sorry, but this does happen. The good thing is on TOB it's not so common. Some variable may have played into the bad experience? Only you or her know? If there is no out reach from the lady. All you can do is lick your wounds and move on if you want to continue seeing ladies. I would hope you would write a review of the experience! As it helps out others. Guys embarrassed or hiding bad experiences covers up habitual behavior.

It sucks and I'm not trying to downplay your experience. It's something that's happen to me a few times. It's at these times I wonder why don't I try to get into a serious relationship. Somehow I always end up coming back.......  

[nf77]

OP: I rarely book an hour anymore, because of what you described.  The "treat an hour like a hh" routine describes over 50% of the hour appts I've booked, so I just stopped booking them.

 

As for bad reviews... I can't see myself posting one unless it is an obvious scam.  It's their livelihood, and it's a risky one.  No way I make it harder for them unless it's a flagrant rip off.

[lustybustygina]

Just have to see the right providers so hr is a hr and no less !

[HeavenlyBellaCO]

On 2/21/2022 at 6:59 AM, Skg said:

Btw… since we’re in this topic of time with a provider, a sex worker friend told me most the guys get off in a few minutes and it’s done. Therefore, most her time is companionship, cuddling and talking. Is it really over for most in 2 minutes or so?  I was shocked she said this. I suppose only the ladies can answer this. I’m really curious. 

Well, 

If a gentleman wants a 90 min or 60 min they usually get more… I personally ENJOY taking my time and being a great hostess… they are NEVER rushed and every visit only gets better with time together…from my own personal experiences 

[F117]

I'm no youngster, so in general, the best experiences I've had are with ladies in their 40's and even 50's (actual age, not profile age).  To the Millennials and Gen Z, you are an inconvenient interruption to their real world ..... posting on social media.  Check out the Pew Research Center's Generational Studies... there's some really good research in there on how Gen Z would rather communicate with a chunk of plastic in their hand than with a human being in the same room.  Stay away from the young ones.  They may look hot, but hotness is only one small part of sexiness.  Emotionally mature ladies get that.  Younger ones don't have a clue.

[Kali Sensual Reiki]

4 hours ago, F117 said:

I'm no youngster, so in general, the best experiences I've had are with ladies in their 40's and even 50's (actual age, not profile age).  To the Millennials and Gen Z, you are an inconvenient interruption to their real world ..... posting on social media.  Check out the Pew Research Center's Generational Studies... there's some really good research in there on how Gen Z would rather communicate with a chunk of plastic in their hand than with a human being in the same room.  Stay away from the young ones.  They may look hot, but hotness is only one small part of sexiness.  Emotionally mature ladies get that.  Younger ones don't have a clue.

Gen X here! 👏👏👏 

Well said, @F117! 

[Audrey Astor]

On 2/15/2022 at 0:14 PM, mdallasfun said:

I've been in the hobby for almost 10 years now and in the past have been very active. Nowadays it's very few and far between and have always done plenty of research and chosen well reviewed providers but recently had a terrible experience. Read enough reviews and you'll see it's kind of common-place, even for well established providers: the rushed 1/2 hour when you donated for an hour. This is truly one of the worst things a provider can do to a client. Most of the time, the actual main-event is secondary to the experience as a whole. As a client and as a man, we want to feel desired and attractive and feel worth the providers time. Many men don't have that validation at home and spend several $$$ in donations to feel that from a beautiful, sexy and kind woman. So for a provider to rush through 1/2 hour of companionship when the donation was paid for an hour, goes beyond feeling ripped-off money-wise, but is quite the blow to confidence and ego (the very thing we want to help by spending time w/ a hot companion). Figured since I don't like to write negative reviews, I'll ask the forum for advice.

Like I said I did my research and the provider was well-established with only one negative review and most hour reviews specified msog. I was kind and respectful upon entering but got rushed vibes 5-10 minutes in. She explained that there would only be one round and as disappointed as I was, I didn't argue or put up a fuss. I tried to last longer than I normally would in a msog environment, but was quickly told to stop slowing myself down and to just finish. Afterwards she handed me towel, put on clothes and lied on the other bed and played with her phone. I felt so low, like I was nothing - and on top of that, ended up paying more than her advertised 1/2 an hour. I wasn't rude at any point and not sure if she was having an off-day or what ...

Instead of being on Cloud 9 on my drive home, I felt like shit. Like some desperate creep who couldn't even get the attention when paying for it ... and then you feel distrustful and angry. I've had many amazing experiences with amazing women and I'm telling myself that not everyone is like that ... but so hard to get it out of your head. Makes me hesitant to see other providers.

And of course today, a provider I tried to initially contact texted me telling me she was coming into town and on top of that sent me a couple of unsolicited photos of herself. Of course I want to see her but after getting my wallet and ego bruised so recently, I'm gun-shy to see someone else so quickly. Have you had this happen to you? What do you do to get yourself back on the horse? I know I could always see a provider I've already had a great experience with, but my favorites have mostly retired (that and I love new girls and new experiences, just not bad ones)

Any advice?

I’ve seen this happen—-it’s wrong, it’s embarrassing, and I can only imagine how you’re feeling. I’m so sorry. I don’t have any advice. I’m sure, that by now, you have experienced lots of back channeling. I am cognizant of what I do and don’t do with my meetings based on morality and ethics. I know those are odd words in the hobby, but we are part our true selves and part our persona. If I had done that, I would have no problem with it being posted in a review. I do understand that some do backhanded “stuff”, so also understand the hesitancy of posting a review. I hope you get back to the hobby, and your experiences are better.

[JessicaJonesing]

On 2/15/2022 at 0:14 PM, mdallasfun said:

Any advice?

Having experienced a horrible person, going forward you'll be able to appreciate fine times even more.

Over time, it actually does help, as you do gain appreciation and more joy from those that do their best to treat you well -- especially so if it's a "meh" chemistry match, or if the woman is clearly having a bad day.

Going forward, surviving this hobby means only seeing those that leave you feeling better about yourself. To avoid the tossers, the review system is key...  ...perhaps a review linking to this thread would help others avoid the hardship you've endured?

 

[coloradoguy75]

Thanks for sharing. I have had a very similar experiences, and on more than one occasion unfortunately. Not only do you feel horrible, but the financial impact is very real also.  Doing diligent research is essential, but they don't guarantee you'll have a good experience, which I have found out. But my worst experiences were often when "taking a chance" on someone or booking appointments with providers with little to no reviews. Being in a hurry does not help. On occasions I have had expectations from a menu stand point that turned out to not be on the menu, even after much research. Many reviews are void of details, so it sometimes hard to know if a menu item is offered, and you typically can not ask BEFORE meeting someone, they will very often black you at that point. This is probably my biggest pain point, how do you know what menu items will be offered if you do not ask? Now, on the flip side I have had many amazing appointments, ones in which we clicked and had a great time. I have had 90 minute appointments that turned into many hours, the provider did not want to leave. We just got on so well. 

I tend to not be very active, I pick slowly and this helps. The menu question is a hard one I have no answer for, lol.  I hope you get back to the hobby, and your experiences are better, sorry you had this experience!

[sunshinelovely]

that's an awful feeling I'm sorry you felt that way from your experience, I think that you shouldn't let that encounter make you hesitant to visit other companions because we all have good / bad days in life n don't need to let one bad encounter stop us from experiencing something that could be wonderful. It happens n you just have to put yourself out there and hope for the best. 

[sb1212]

On 8/7/2022 at 4:41 PM, coloradoguy75 said:

Thanks for sharing. I have had a very similar experiences, and on more than one occasion unfortunately. Not only do you feel horrible, but the financial impact is very real also.  Doing diligent research is essential, but they don't guarantee you'll have a good experience, which I have found out. But my worst experiences were often when "taking a chance" on someone or booking appointments with providers with little to no reviews. Being in a hurry does not help. On occasions I have had expectations from a menu stand point that turned out to not be on the menu, even after much research. Many reviews are void of details, so it sometimes hard to know if a menu item is offered, and you typically can not ask BEFORE meeting someone, they will very often black you at that point. This is probably my biggest pain point, how do you know what menu items will be offered if you do not ask? Now, on the flip side I have had many amazing appointments, ones in which we clicked and had a great time. I have had 90 minute appointments that turned into many hours, the provider did not want to leave. We just got on so well. 

I tend to not be very active, I pick slowly and this helps. The menu question is a hard one I have no answer for, lol.  I hope you get back to the hobby, and your experiences are better, sorry you had this experience!

You may want to consider investing in a TER VIP  membership. Many TOB companions are reviewed there (but there are no companion ads).  TER reviews are almost always detailed and descriptive. I once had a review rejected because it lacked detail. 

 

 

[Imyrhklbry]

Submit an honest, direct , no holds barred review. Hopefully she learns her lesson ... if not then .. her loss ! 

I always keep a very short list of my favorites 🥰   Repeat liaisons go a long way in establishing trust too. Plus there's the strong possibility of her inviting a female friend for a surprise or recommending someone who's on your wish list