JessicaJonesing

All very well said, and you're correct that it takes rapport and the general "no talking about specifics" make it a catch-22 that's not easily solved outside of just going the first time and evolving the dynamic over time if you're on the same page. Costly, yes, time consuming, true but submission and any type of impact/bondage/true S&M shouldn't, IMHO, be taken lightly. Also, Ivan and Trucker, from the provider side a a generalization: men reaching out to "submit"are about 20x more likely to flake/no-show and/or be looking to "sext" and self-pleasure and ghost or show up and be ULTRA pushy Vs. established/normal-request hobbyists. Shame on me, but historically I've learned to rarely even respond... :-( Dunno the solution to that...

Good for you, knowing what you want and like :-) Submission is a small part of what people perceive as "BDSM", still, it's the most-requested. I'm with you on the don't go if you're not feeling compatible: From my side if a guy contacts me to submit then rolls off a list of acts I can perform to satisfy his "submission", you're topping from the bottom, a brat, and I wouldn't see you. So to clarify, if you want to be dominated by a woman, it's termed BDSM, and if that's your kink, show up, shut up, and take it like a man -- not some simpering, b*tchy brat.

Happy for you! I'm too chicken, personally, but can't wait to see pictures of the new you! :-)

Tales only from the Fetlife Domme side, as I'm not a sub which is clearly indicated on my profile: Fetlife exceeded my tolerance via of pictures of poo with messages saying how much I'd enjoy consuming it and how the guy would help me wash it down with... ...and a constant press of similar "toilet slave" wannabes. Just gross. And that's only one genre of nasty. Screenshoting, redacting the name(s) and posting some of those in my pictures -- keep in mind that type of "kink" is against the TOS there -- with a polite "please don't send such DMs" and a reminder that demands of how I can fulfill their "submissive" compulsions is "topping from the bottom" and not submissive got the pictures I'd posted pulled with messages from the moderators that *I* was violating the TOS. So I deleted my account, one more kinky woman gone from the Fet ranks. It's a wasteland, don't bother. BDSM and submitting to a provider is easy: Show up on time, already clean, shut up and do what you're told. Find one that lists as BDSM friendly, bring whatever toys you want to experiment with -- never use someone else's! Gross! We're professionals, literally do this for a living, we know what you want and if you want more/different things after your first session, try: "Ma'am may I speak about our next session please?" and go from there. Providers: With the strongest emphasis, never offer submission. At least not alone/without an in-room chaperone of your choosing. You'll get some really nice guys but also attract dangerous predators. It's not worth it.

Probably a topic better left for DM :-( Me? Personally? It seems like a trap -- get the permit and you are, obviously, on the books and in the state database as an escort... ...did you ever get one?

Oh, duh! Apologies. I used to be blonde, don't'cha know, and... AND! I lived in California. So I have my moments. As for FMF, well, yeah, good luck with that. What man doesn't dream of it ;-)

Ugh, well, happened again today. I thought this was all resolved but doesn't seem to be... Missed another appt as I didn't hear back about a proposed time, guy sent confirmation and was waiting at my incall. Sucks all around. Everyone is being really cool about it, but I'm SUPER frustrated. Anyway, I guess be aware everyone, be pedantic if you're not hearing back from otherwise reliable providers/hobbyists.

Interesting! So you're comfortable around nudity w/both M/F, it's the... ...looking up seeing nakes guys standing around that's weird for you? Or? I guess in MFM there's no "sloppy seconds" scenarios? As with everything, the perception of "normal" creeps. That is, a lot of guys into GBs now started trying out MFM, liked it, and went big into the group thing... ...so never say never! ;-)

Once you go "gang" there's no going back to one-on-one! Really ;-) Something to think about. Intimacy with an individual partner is hard enough leading this lifestyle... Not to rain on anyone's parade, just sayin'!

I don't cheat on partners. I invite them. Eyes wide open. Ditto for my partner. Have the respect for me to give me option, and the courtesy to let me know where you are and with whom. Bringing up her husband's sexual history? Non-consensual, and abusive. Where's the trust? Where's the integrity of keeping the confidences of the person that trusts you most in this world? Which is about them, not the cheater. Emotional promiscuity? Wholly abusive. As is your knowing participation @Savoir Faire. I encourage married men who're frustrated in low/lack-of-sex relations to see escorts -- the point is to not get attached and go home to be a better husband. Yes, it's a form of abuse, but in the face of withdrawn intimacy by one partner w/o consent of the other (relationships start hot'n'heavy, husbands don't agree to ending sexual relations) it's a conscious choice for a harm-reduction way of managing a bad situation and enabling you to stay with the partner you love. @Savoir Faire is married, and cheating with a married woman is abusively disrespectful to each of your partners. Dominate "alpha" men inspire their partners into the lifestyle, negotiate a respectful "don't ask, don't tell" detente, or take the "harm reduction" path above and ACTUALLY and PERMANENTLY keep their mouths shut. ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENTS, you do what you need to get through the day. Just saying, if you're going to be a cheater, own up to it and admit it your part in it.

[slinks out of dark corner where perverts live] Ooooh.... what a lovely sight it must be. Can I help?! [slinks back to dark corner where the other perverts live]

Cheese and Rice! Momma Focker! Yesterday, confirmed an appointment for tonight at 7, changed New Year's plans, heading to the incall now and having not heard back sent a "on the way to the incall now, see you in a bit!" message and... ...hobbyist didn't receive my confirmation and not hearing back from me can't come. Super frustrating. Logging into the web app portion of the android app, the messages I sent aren't there, but show up on my phone. Anyway, point being, stay vigilant people... I guess I'll start confirming via email too.

Boobs! Yes, I'm functionally an 18-year-old boy. Love the new avatar picture :-)

Dunno, I'm still having issues, a lot of people seem to be -- on the bright side, everyone's been cool, not assuming I'm ignoring them... :-)

At least they're showing up! Mine have been marking as "sent" and just not delivering, same with people sending to me. It's super frustrating, especially as I've never missed an appointment, ever, and try to respond to everyone. Fortunately the guys that have been affected were all cool about it, not assuming I was ignoring them/being rude. Still, it's aggravating. SMTP retries after unsuccessful delivery, not just deleting/non-sending and if undelivered returns a failure notice, I'm not familiar with the SMS protocols/daemons but I'd think that is also built in....