An Inside Look Into One Provider's Screening

[Scarlett Dayne]

I believe every woman should screen any way she sees fit, and I also believe in ultimately trusting your gut feeling (Spidey Senses).

I rely extremely heavily on my gut feeling about a person, or the situation surrounding the day's slew of events/patterns.

Some days I sense absolutely zero danger, and screening is easy breezy.

Some days I have every dangerous person (intent on doing me harm) on planet Earth contacting me, and screening is like Fort Knox.

It's a day-to-day battle having to figure out what my level of safety or danger is for each particular day.

However if every dangerous element (people trying to cause me harm) is contacting me on a certain day those who are Newbies (innocent bystanders) may find themselves getting screened heavily, and unfortunately turned away because the danger level is just too high that day to take any risks on seeing anyone with no references.

Another example...

I have had a string of negative incidents with men under 40 years old lately. Unfortunately now every man under 40 who contacts me is being treated like a suspicious suspect due to a handful of undesirables who have tried to pull fast ones on me recently. I automatically assume everyone under 40 is going to be a troublemaker. Consequently I treat them as someone trying to cause me grief. I hate being put into this position of having to screen heavily, or choose to only see men over 40 years old.

An additional example...

When it's time for bee "stings", and "they"start contacting me... I am hesitant to take any phone calls. I will only text. "They" typically most want you on the phone to record your voice talking about the intended transaction. Why do I only text on these days? Probably because psychologically it makes me "feel" more safe and secure. Not necessarily true, but it appeases my anxieties. This may make the normal, innocent people who want to place a phone call feel nervous. Again though... I'm willing to shit can potential appointments if some refuse to text on these certain days of "Operation Round Up of Low Hanging Fruit".

Now I would not start screening the exact way I do because there is always room for error especially when one is desperate or greedy for money. I have been on both sides of the fence in the adult industry/service provider business.

When my gut told me "No", but I saw them anyway, even though they "appeared" safe... This is when I have had problems with clients being pushy, aggressive, abusive, over stepping boundaries and shorting/ripping me off. All because I didn't heed to my internal warning system that went off before actually meeting them.

My only regrets have come from seeing someone in spite of my gut feeling telling me "Oh hell NO!", or having even just a general uneasiness about agreeing to see them. This feeling is different from the regular nervousness we all get from seeing a new client.

This type of business is like a box of fireworks... Most will go off without a hitch, but there are always a few that blow up in your face. It's the nature of this beast.

If I say "No" to someone one day, it could very well be a completely different story a few days later. Timing is everything.

I hate having to be the Soup Nazi some days saying "No Soup For You" lol. It strips the fun out of my job because it adds a lot of extra stress, pressure and disappointment for all parties.

But... My safety is paramount, and ultimately my number one concern.

Hope this helps shed some positive light on why some of us screen the way we do. There is often a method to our perceived madness lol ;-)

[BigBaldBlk]

I thought this was very well written and said.  You do leave the door open that if a client is declined on one day...

Quote

If I say "No" to someone one day, it could very well be a completely different story a few days later. Timing is everything.

do you tell them to check back another?  Would they want to?

[Mustang87]

I think you have to do what makes you feel safe.  I don't think anyone can fault you for that.  If some guys misses out on a chance to see you, that will just be too bad.  You have no obligation to see anyone if it makes you feel unsafe. 

[2Big]

I hope your screening isn't as incoherent as your writing.

[stevie-2249]

It explains why your in this business

[gr8owl]

1 hour ago, stevie-2249 said:

It explains why your in this business

What pray tell might explain you and your constant inane attempts to belittle women trying to make a living and who are brave enough to post in front of all manner of trolls and douches? Ms. Dayne may be a bit eccentric but she is at least honest and tries to make contributions to the discussion. (and looks pretty hot  )

[Scarlett Dayne]

9 hours ago, 2Big said:

I hope your screening isn't as incoherent as your writing.

It's not a random post.

My writing is not incoherent as you suggest.

Rather it's an ingenious way to make a reply where one is forbidden to do so.

I'm not an ignorant person.

Please Know: There is a compelling reason behind every decision I make.

My mind plays chess while others frolic with the game of checkers... ;-)

[Guest]

7 hours ago, Scarlett Dayne said:

Please Know: There is a compelling reason behind every decision I make.

My mind plays chess while others frolic with the game of checkers... ;-)

Never play checkers.  When drinking, I play cribbage. Even played it in session once with a beautiful long-red-haired beauty who used to frequent these pages years ago.

But for more cerebral pursuits, chess is too predictable. Learn to recognize and respond to a dozen or so standard openings and combinations and BOOM, you are a master. No, today I go for more mentally rigorous stuff.  A typical rulebook:

 

My point?  Overall, your screening approach sounds reasonable and understandable.  And I understand that your intended audience for this post may not have been any of the folks who have responded.

Just be careful about thinking of yourself as "smart."  There's always someone smarter. Goes for you, me, and everyone here.  Continue listening to your gut. It is right more often than your brain.

[SultryKitten]

Thanks Scarlett! I feel the same way. It is hard to explain to our clients that each day is different whether it is by who calls, or what day of the month it is for us. ;-)

Just ignore those that feel that they know your business more than you do - I am sure you know who I am talking about. :-D

Xoxo,

Samantha Sheppard

[Scarlett Dayne]

1 hour ago, Laplace said:

Never play checkers.  When drinking, I play cribbage. Even played it in session once with a beautiful long-red-haired beauty who used to frequent these pages years ago.

But for more cerebral pursuits, chess is too predictable. Learn to recognize and respond to a dozen or so standard openings and combinations and BOOM, you are a master. No, today I go for more mentally rigorous stuff.  A typical rulebook:

 

My point?  Overall, your screening approach sounds reasonable and understandable.  And I understand that your intended audience for this post may not have been any of the folks who have responded.

Just be careful about thinking of yourself as "smart."  There's always someone smarter. Goes for you, me, and everyone here.  Continue listening to your gut. It is right more often than your brain.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with being smart, or acknowledging that I am smart.

Because... I am smart, intelligent, intellectual, perceptive, intuitive, the list goes on.

I never in any of my sentences ever said I was the "smartest". I never would say something like that, because you are correct. There is always someone smarter, funnier, younger, slimmer, more in shape, makes more money, more beautiful, etc...

As a woman I have had to fight for a place for my IQ my entire life. Men have actually told me to be less "smart" because I intimidate men. I will never do that lol. I am who I am, take it or leave it.

And I'll let you in on a little secret... The knowledge, information, intuition, insight, and wisdom I have doesn't come from "my own" understanding or knowledge bank.

PM me if curious because I'll be happy to explain in depth just exactly where my "smarts" really come from. It's my favorite Subject. ;-)

[valconxen]

2 hours ago, Laplace said:

Never play checkers.  When drinking, I play cribbage. Even played it in session once with a beautiful long-red-haired beauty who used to frequent these pages years ago.

But for more cerebral pursuits, chess is too predictable. Learn to recognize and respond to a dozen or so standard openings and combinations and BOOM, you are a master. No, today I go for more mentally rigorous stuff.  A typical rulebook:

 

My point?  Overall, your screening approach sounds reasonable and understandable.  And I understand that your intended audience for this post may not have been any of the folks who have responded.

Just be careful about thinking of yourself as "smart."  There's always someone smarter. Goes for you, me, and everyone here.  Continue listening to your gut. It is right more often than your brain.

 

Laplace that really brings back memories. I played a lot of AH games in my youth, but it's been a long time.  I wonder if the company still around.

Scarlet I never understood men that have problems with smart women.

[Guest]

53 minutes ago, valconxen said:

Laplace that really brings back memories. I played a lot of AH games in my youth, but it's been a long time.  I wonder if the company still around.

Scarlet I never understood men that have problems with smart women.

Valconxen:  AH is now dead, but before they died they sold ASL to Curt Schilling (yes...the RedSox pitcher) who founded Multi-Man Publishing company that still prints it.  It is still a popular and widely played.

Scarlet: I think we are on the same page, and I have no problem with smart women.  I prefer a big pair of frontal-lobes in my ladies!  Just be carefull out there.

And from your posts I think I know what your favorite subject is....and it takes smart, mature people to be able to discuss it without coming unglued. Truly the queen on conversation topics.

 

 

 

[Scarlett Dayne]

30 minutes ago, Laplace said:

Valconxen:  AH is now dead, but before they died they sold ASL to Curt Schilling (yes...the RedSox pitcher) who founded Multi-Man Publishing company that still prints it.  It is still a popular and widely played.

Scarlet: I think we are on the same page, and I have no problem with smart women.  I prefer a big pair of frontal-lobes in my ladies!  Just be carefull out there.

And from your posts I think I know what your favorite subject is....and it takes smart, mature people to be able to discuss it without coming unglued. Truly the queen on conversation topics.

 

 

 

I do hear and understand you. Your're right!

It is a scary world out there. Some dangerous individuals out there constantly lurking around seeking whom they may devour. 

I hope you know I wasn't upset with you. Just having titillating conversation in my opinion. My mom is German & Russian, and fortunately and unfortunately lol, I got a lot of her personality. So sometimes my writing/posts comes across as Helga the Ball Buster lol hee hee.

Not really who I truly am. I'm a lover not a fighter lol ;-)~

[Kaduk]

46 minutes ago, Scarlett Dayne said:

I do hear and understand you. Your're right!

It is a scary world out there. Some dangerous individuals out there constantly lurking around seeking whom they may devour. 

I hope you know I wasn't upset with you. Just having titillating conversation in my opinion. My mom is German & Russian, and fortunately and unfortunately lol, I got a lot of her personality. So sometimes my writing/posts

comes across as Helga the Ball Buster...

Not really who I truly am. I'm a lover not a fighter lol ;-)~

Ahhhhhhh Mannnnnn she just went all Helga on us!.........................

 

[Wendy Whitney]

The only person that can keep you safe is you.   

Screen one way one day, and another way another day. Entirely up to you. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. 

'"Haters" - poo on you!

[Lucy Kitten]

7 minutes ago, Wendy Whitney said:

The only person that can keep you safe is you.   

Screen one way one day, and another way another day. Entirely up to you. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. 

'"Haters" - poo on you!

Can I ask you something Wendy? As a seasoned veteran wouldn't you think that screening the same way every time leads to more predictable results? It is up to the individual at the end of the day but I would think that if you held all clients to the same standards and screening practices your results would be better and more stable.

 

[Scarlett Dayne]

5 hours ago, Kaduk said:

Ahhhhhhh Mannnnnn she just went all Helga on us!.........................

 

Wow... She is one Bad Ass Babe!!

I look like that on the inside. On the outside... not so much lol ha ha.

I need that costume!!! And a real working sword!! And wings so I can fly!! And.. oh yeah.. super human strength too. Can I find all of this for under $200 LOL?

[Scarlett Dayne]

1 hour ago, Lucy Kitten said:

Can I ask you something Wendy? As a seasoned veteran wouldn't you think that screening the same way every time leads to more predictable results? It is up to the individual at the end of the day but I would think that if you held all clients to the same standards and screening practices your results would be better and more stable.

 

There was an incidence of a few men who had impeccable credentials on a certain extremely reputable escort website. They passed 100% of all my tests, had the most awesome Okays, and appeared to be as safe as a baby kitten. Something just didn't feel right about them (my gut feeling went buck wild). They gave me the heebie-geebies. Couldn't stop feeling fear, panic and an abundance of anxiety. I had no clue why, and didn't ask why. I just trusted my gut feeling. 

I decided to say "No" to meeting them. Boy am I glad I did. They turned out to be Federal agents who were doing a nation wide HUGE sting operation. Turns out some real, legitimate men had been busted, and turned over their accounts to save their own asses (get off without being arrested) so that LE could use their accounts to nab other unsuspecting girls off this particular well known website. There is a link to this huge story on the web if you seek it out. It happened here in Colorado.

Because I listened to my gut feeling I was spared. If I had disregarded that gut feeling I would still probably be dealing with the aftermath of that fiasco to this day.

I'm not saying do not screen like a normal escort should. I am saying don't ONLY rely on what is written on paper.

Sometimes wolves disguise themselves in sheep's clothing. When this happens... only your gut feeling, women's intuition or gift of intuition/perception will help save your ass.

Safety is Paramount... Find it anyway you can ;-)

[fishndude57]

2 hours ago, Wendy Whitney said:

The only person that can keep you safe is you.   

Screen one way one day, and another way another day. Entirely up to you. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. 

'"Haters" - poo on you!

Really don't see any haters myself cept for the token troll comment. Good thread. I actually follow it for a change. Good topic, good drama, excellent humor. Better than Twitter. 

[Wendy Whitney]

17 hours ago, Lucy Kitten said:

Can I ask you something Wendy? As a seasoned veteran wouldn't you think that screening the same way every time leads to more predictable results? It is up to the individual at the end of the day but I would think that if you held all clients to the same standards and screening practices your results would be better and more stable.

 

There is part of my screening that is consistant, but I don't want to give away too much 

[Lucy Kitten]

On 6/29/2016 at 5:30 PM, Scarlett Dayne said:

There was an incidence of a few men who had impeccable credentials on a certain extremely reputable escort website. They passed 100% of all my tests, had the most awesome Okays, and appeared to be as safe as a baby kitten. Something just didn't feel right about them (my gut feeling went buck wild). They gave me the heebie-geebies. Couldn't stop feeling fear, panic and an abundance of anxiety. I had no clue why, and didn't ask why. I just trusted my gut feeling. 

I decided to say "No" to meeting them. Boy am I glad I did. They turned out to be Federal agents who were doing a nation wide HUGE sting operation. Turns out some real, legitimate men had been busted, and turned over their accounts to save their own asses (get off without being arrested) so that LE could use their accounts to nab other unsuspecting girls off this particular well known website. There is a link to this huge story on the web if you seek it out. It happened here in Colorado.

Because I listened to my gut feeling I was spared. If I had disregarded that gut feeling I would still probably be dealing with the aftermath of that fiasco to this day.

I'm not saying do not screen like a normal escort should. I am saying don't ONLY rely on what is written on paper.

Sometimes wolves disguise themselves in sheep's clothing. When this happens... only your gut feeling, women's intuition or gift of intuition/perception will help save your ass.

Safety is Paramount... Find it anyway you can ;-)

I am aware as are most around here what happened.

I was really trying to stay out of this but basically you exposed your weaknesses in your screening. That some days it may be lax because the threat doesn't seem as high. That if a gent is polite enough he can make his way through your screening. Intuition I will agree and have always said is the sharpest tool but not everyone is created equally and those people need have to have more reliable methods to rely on. Intuition only takes us so far. 

I still stand by my original statement. When you are consistent then your sessions will be too. But when you and only you are responsible for your screening it's entirely up to you be self reliant. "Not believing everything on paper" is paramount and one thing that probably all providers can agree on. When you rely on your own system you remove the reliance on systems that may backfire. Having methods that you use every time and can use any time and any place is the best idea. Let people know you don't fuck around.

I remember a story about a lady around here who was unfortunately ripped off by a client. While that is never acceptable, she didn't follow her own rules. She saw him without verifying the references she was given, she didn't verify the other info he shared with her and she didn't check the envelope (which was empty) until after the session. I get the feeling that since he was compliant and easily offered the info that she wanted that he was safe. That wasn't intuition that was the complacency monster.

For me there is much more to screening than just feeling safe with someone. It's also about being able to add to flow of information that helps keeps others safe. I also consider the information collected. A no name number and a fake email address don't leave much of an information trail if things really go south for me. I want to be able to do my part to stop any future Neal Falls or Bradley Bartons

[Scarlett Dayne]

20 minutes ago, Lucy Kitten said:

I am aware as are most around here what happened.

I was really trying to stay out of this but basically you exposed your weaknesses in your screening. That some days it may be lax because the threat doesn't seem as high. That if a gent is polite enough he can make his way through your screening. Intuition I will agree and have always said is the sharpest tool but not everyone is created equally and those people need have to have more reliable methods to rely on. Intuition only takes us so far. 

I still stand by my original statement. When you are consistent then your sessions will be too. But when you and only you are responsible for your screening it's entirely up to you be self reliant. "Not believing everything on paper" is paramount and one thing that probably all providers can agree on. When you rely on your own system you remove the reliance on systems that may backfire. Having methods that you use every time and can use any time and any place is the best idea. Let people know you don't fuck around.

I remember a story about a lady around here who was unfortunately ripped off by a client. While that is never acceptable, she didn't follow her own rules. She saw him without verifying the references she was given, she didn't verify the other info he shared with her and she didn't check the envelope (which was empty) until after the session. I get the feeling that since he was compliant and easily offered the info that she wanted that he was safe. That wasn't intuition that was the complacency monster.

For me there is much more to screening than just feeling safe with someone. It's also about being able to add to flow of information that helps keeps others safe. I also consider the information collected. A no name number and a fake email address don't leave much of an information trail if things really go south for me. I want to be able to do my part to stop any future Neal Falls or Bradley Bartons

You must have missed it entirely...

My intuition does not come from "my own" understanding, knowledge or wisdom.

It comes from Somewhere else.

That Place has NO weaknesses, NO flaws, and knows ALL things before they happen.

I put my Trust in That.

My screening makes no sense to you. It shouldn't. We aren't seeking the same Source apparently. Not bad or good. It is what it is.

My trust is not in things of this world such as your proven way of screening. My trust lies Elsewhere. IT keeps me safe. I do NOT keep me safe.

Again... Anyone is free to PM me for details about my Source of Trust and Security. I implore you actually. Once again..  It's my favorite Subject.

Shalom Friend.

We are all running the same race. I just run mine with wings instead of tennis shoes ;-)

[Jez UaBriain]

Scarlett, I see nothing wrong with your screening. If your comfortable with the way you do it , then why  should anyone fault you. Seriously.  We all screen the way we want to. If it makes us feel safe we see them. If our hoe-dar kicks in- we don't.

So far my hoe-dar has not failed me. It IS my main source when screening.  If something sparks it, then it ain't happening , period.

[Scarlett Dayne]

7 hours ago, Jez UaBriain said:

Scarlett, I see nothing wrong with your screening. If your comfortable with the way you do it , then why  should anyone fault you. Seriously.  We all screen the way we want to. If it makes us feel safe we see them. If our hoe-dar kicks in- we don't.

So far my hoe-dar has not failed me. It IS my main source when screening.  If something sparks it, then it ain't happening , period.

Hey I can have an actual term for it now.

Probably more self explanatory than my 900 page novel I wrote in my initial post lol hee hee.

You are so funny lol ;-)~

 

[Jez UaBriain]

Thank you Ms. Scarlett, I wish I could  take all the credit for the term. But actually I coined the term "hoe-dar" from our lovely Miss Destiny.  She deserves that credit.It fit better then spidey sense. And with it no explanation is necessary.

[Guest]

9 hours ago, Jez UaBriain said:

Scarlett, I see nothing wrong with your screening. If your comfortable with the way you do it , then why  should anyone fault you. Seriously.  We all screen the way we want to. If it makes us feel safe we see them. If our hoe-dar kicks in- we don't.

So far my hoe-dar has not failed me. It IS my main source when screening.  If something sparks it, then it ain't happening , period.

This is exactly correct! There's a hundred  ways to screen, you do what works, I'll do what works for me,  and everyone can do what they do. I use my gut as my number one tool as well, I failed it only once. I went against my instinct, and got hurt. So once in 15 years is pretty damn good. 

It makes no difference how you handle your business,  because it is your business.  It doesn't affect me or anyone else,  so it's none of their business. Keep doing your thing.

And your intuition,  is always right

[Kaduk]

29 minutes ago, Melissa Sterling said:

This is exactly correct! There's a hundred  ways to screen, you do what works, I'll do what works for me,  and everyone can do what they do. I use my gut as my number one tool as well, I failed it only once. I went against my instinct, and got hurt. So once in 15 years is pretty damn good. 

It makes no difference how you handle your business,  because it is your business.  It doesn't affect me or anyone else,  so it's none of their business. Keep doing your thing.

And your intuition,  is always right

[JoDoe27]

2 hours ago, Kaduk said:

Not to be confused with 

[CandiO]

17 hours ago, Jez UaBriain said:

Scarlett, I see nothing wrong with your screening. If your comfortable with the way you do it , then why  should anyone fault you. Seriously.  We all screen the way we want to. If it makes us feel safe we see them. If our hoe-dar kicks in- we don't.

So far my hoe-dar has not failed me. It IS my main source when screening.  If something sparks it, then it ain't happening , period.

Jezz....there is no better way to describe it than HOE-DAR

Call it what you will, if my gut says NO, I say NO. I do not care how many OK's you have, I do not care who or how many references you have, I do not care how many times you claim to have seen a gal I cannot contact....the bottom line is this: If you make me uncomfortable, even during a phone call, I WILL NOT SEE YOU.

[Paul Pudenda]

On 6/28/2016 at 1:54 PM, 2Big said:

I hope your screening isn't as incoherent as your writing.

The "stream of consciousness" style made James Joyce a star.  I suppose it can work for others.