Posted January 12, 2015 Recently I was given an expire by date of less than 6 months from my cancer battle. I haven't been able to be aroused in months so going out with a bang is not going to happen for me. So what would you do knowing the amount of time you have left? 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 12, 2015 (edited) NNG, very sorry to hear your news. 'ATTITUDE' is your best defense at this point. My response to your question - Travel! You may not be able to "go out with a bang", but hiring a lovely to be your companion, to share the adventure, and maybe even extend your ability to travel, isn't all that bad. (It's not too bad even under normal circumstances.) Good luck, friend. Edited January 12, 2015 by Bit Banger Spelling 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 12, 2015 Very sorry to read this news. If you have the funds to travel, I agree with Bit. And if there is a really special lady to do it with, then all the better. I hope you have a painless exit, and that is not meant to sound crass. I have dealt with many dying people, something we all must do. For god's sake, get hospice care as soon as possible. Sometimes the confounded doctors put it off unnecessarily. Damn cancer. Damn. I wish you the best, comrade. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 12, 2015 First off, I am so very sorry. None of us can probably imagine how you must feel. It's really fun to read your replies and opinions here on the board. Having recently been in this situation with my dad, I would recommend that you spend as much time with your family and loved ones as you can. Make sure they know exactly how you feel about each of them. Do the things you enjoy weather it is sitting on your porch, riding in the mountains, playing cards, traveling etc. Lastly, make sure all of your affairs are in order; your life insurance policies, bank accounts, will/trust etc. read as they should, and the beneficiaries are listed how you would like. Best of wishes, and love to you. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 12, 2015 Here is another one that I consider HUGE. * Have a LIVING FUNERAL. These are becoming more and more popular. The concept got popular in the wake of the remarkable book, "Tuesdays with Morrie." Why have a funeral in which you can't say goodbye and actually hear the nice things about you? This is positively huge, and I recommend it for everyone. I got a chance to go to a living funeral, and it was great. Sad, happy, but great. They do a tiny living funeral in the movie, "The Fault in Our Stars" and if you're not crying after that, you have a heart of stone. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 12, 2015 I would recommend that you spend as much time with your family and loved ones as you can. Make sure they know exactly how you feel about each of them. Do the things you enjoy weather it is sitting on your porch, riding in the mountains, playing cards, traveling etc. Lastly, make sure all of your affairs are in order; your life insurance policies, bank accounts, will/trust etc. read as they should, and the beneficiaries are listed how you would like. I would give you the same advice Holly did, with some emphasis on loved ones. I wish you a painless exit, as well. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 12, 2015 I think the advice put forth is very sound. You should also add a *Bucket List* to that. Very cliche but it really gives you a perspective on the random things that you want to do. If you have the money, after making sure everything else is taken care of, go all out with it! *lots of kisses* 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 12, 2015 So Sorry to hear this. I think if I were able to afford it I would travelas much as I could. I would visit places I only dreamed of. I would also like the idea of a living funeral I think it would be good to see people that I may have forgotten about in the last few years. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 12, 2015 ... I would recommend that you spend as much time with your family and loved ones as you can. Make sure they know exactly how you feel about each of them. ... For me this involves a lot of travel as we're scattered around the country. No family in the immediate area. ...Lastly, make sure all of your affairs are in order;... One should strive for this at all times, especially the older we get. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 12, 2015 First, I'm sorry for the news. Bucket list is so much on track for you. One thing I still remember is a view of a 14'er in the winter. Winterpark has a great lift that can get you there. What your favorite food. Go get the best of the best. Travel will be involved. Hopefully your strength is still enough to get you there. Your favorite music? Anything that is the best of the best. Thoughts are with you tho, whatever you decide. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 12, 2015 No one knows how they will feel when faced with the news of their own demise. But it cannot be a good feeling to deal with. Many here are saddened,including myself. So circle the wagons we are. If you have someone special then I would do as Bit suggested, and travel while you still feel decent. Want to see the north rim of the Grand Canyon? Then do it. Kiss the blarney stone in Ireland ? Then do it. But I wouldn?t just pick a lovely out of the EB board, or TOB, etc. I would do it with someone I had spent time with before- quality time. Even though arousal is not possible anymore, spooning with your SO, or ATF. Is so=o-o nice. Just being able to cuddle naked on a cold winter?s day?.. Enjoying quality time with your family, friends, your dog, these are the things that count. At least they do to me. And that is all I can base my answer to your post on. Enjoy the sunshine on your face with the time you have left. And meanwhile my friend, the rest of us here will hope your doctors are wrong. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 12, 2015 I have thought about this more today. How much fun could you have setting things right that piss you off? I would bump the little blue hair out of my way as I was driving down Arapahoe rd. I would stuff my hamburger is the punk ass face in a the drive through when they screw it up. Damn $5.00 an hour punks. Lol I hope what ever you do you enjoy your life to the fullest 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 12, 2015 When I hear of your situation, I am at a loss for words other than to say, I am sorry.... Everyone has given you good advice. Get your affairs in order, travel, etc. I worked in Oncology for years. The one thing I learned from patients is, go out under your own terms. By that I mean talk to the Oncologist well ahead of time. Maintain control of your life and your future. Do not wait until you are no longer in control. Go out under your own terms. Either your Oncologist or Hospice will provide you with the medications you need when you know you are ready. Be optimistic. Enjoy every day. Cancer patients are some of the most optimistic people I have ever met. Good Luck My Friend. Ink. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 12, 2015 I agree with Holly get your affairs in order that would include your spiritual life, first and for most. take and care my prayers are with you. slim jim 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 12, 2015 Write letters to your loved ones, advice, anecdotes, storys from times past. I have first hand knowlegde how much this means. This christmas My cousin and I got letters from my uncle who died of cancer when I was 18, he was 3. I cant tell you what that ment to me. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 12, 2015 OK, I agree with all of the above advice to spend time with family, write letters, etc., and maybe it is just me, but I am an adrenaline junky, so if I had six months to live: 1. Skydiving, always wanted to do it, but was afraid to leave my family without a financial supporter; 2. Flying a squirrel suit (if you don't know what that is, just google it); 3. Presenting three of the most gorgeous hookers on TOB with the challenge that I can't get aroused any more, but I want to present it as a challenge to them to give it one last try. What's the worst that could happen, good visuals, right? Not being flippant, I am old enough to worry about this stuff, and I think any of these would be a great bucket list item. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 12, 2015 Like others have said, my heart goes out to you and yours during this difficult times. It is something we ALL have to face, but it's never easy to know when it may happen if not sooner. I saw this not long ago on Twitter, and it suggested Buy Experiences, Not Things. This has kind of stuck with me because regardless of your financial resources, you can always buy experiences whether it's a book at a local store, movies, traveling, painting a room purple with dots, spending time with a provider(s) etc and remember them fondly in the months ahead. Love & light my good man! ~BBB 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 13, 2015 ... Buy Experiences, Not Things. ... Love it!!! Even with an unknown expiration date, hopefully long in the future, I tend to subscribe to this mantra. Store those memories up, then cherish them later when you can no longer participate. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 13, 2015 Thanks for all the compassion you have all displayed. Many of you suggestions I have thought of. I am too weak to deal with my bucket list and food and drink are tasteless. Tried to get drunk on new year's eve but could only down half a drink and went home before the champaign began to poor. I am in hospice care and am thinking of going to a beach location with my ATF where we can just sit on the beach for a while. Fortunately my ATF has been with me during my struggle and will be with me to the end. But I was wondering how others here would spend their final monthes. Living vicariously just like my time on TOB. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 13, 2015 (edited) Just no this- you will be missed. And have a glass waiting for those of us who will join you in time. The parting glass will be drank in your honor. I always have thought you were a good man. Edited January 13, 2015 by Jez UaBriain edit needed 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 13, 2015 I can't imagine what you're going through but I'm sorry for the terrible hand you've been dealt, NNG. I would get straight with everyone in my life. Let them know I'll be okay and so will they. I'd want to forgive and be forgiven. I'd open (or listen to) a few books I never got around to reading. It's a great way to travel mentally if you can't physically. I'm not a religious man, but I firmly believe the journey is just beginning. This is a sad and beautiful world, but it's nothing more than a sojourn on the way to far greater things. I wish you the best, brother. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 13, 2015 This is very sad news...please try to have someone let us know what is going on with you, when the time comes that you are no longer able to visit us in person. You will be missed, and remembered, here on TOB. Mortality sucks. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 13, 2015 just read the heartbreaking news and I wanted to let you know how sorry I am .. I can't even fathom what you must be going thru, and I also have no idea or advice for you, but I am so sorry:( You will be in my thoughts and prayers and I hope for a different outcome, but if you will be leaving us so soon, I hope you will do it with peace in your soul. .. Love, Ana 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 13, 2015 Thanks for all the compassion. I am in hospice care and am thinking of going to a beach location with my ATF where we can just sit on the beach for a while. Fortunately my ATF has been with me during my struggle and will be with me to the end. But I was wondering how others here would spend their final monthes. Living vicariously just like my time on TOB. You could always bring in a keg of beer to Your Hospice room & let your friends toast with you your life... 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 14, 2015 First off, I'm very sad to hear the news. I hope the doc's are wrong. I'd have to suggest, in my very humble experience, to spend as much time as you can with your family. If you can afford it, I'd very strongly suggest a vacation to Grand Cayman, one of my favorite places on this Earth. If you'd like to know some of my favorite places to stay there, please PM me. Once again, I'm so very sorry to hear the news, and we all on here are praying for you. If you need anything, let me know, I mean that. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 14, 2015 You could always bring in a keg of beer to Your Hospice room & let your friends toast with you your life... That is pretty dang cool idea I think. It 's like being at your own wake. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 14, 2015 "You will ever only have two choices: love or fear. Choose love and don't ever let fear turn you against your playful heart." --Jim Carrey 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 14, 2015 That is pretty dang cool idea I think. It 's like being at your own wake. I've heard of Dr's giving a script for alcohol consumption for people in assisted living communities. The booze is at the nurses station so they can't over consume. But they can still have a beer/mixer if they choose. NNG, when the time comes, may it be swift and painless. Until then, may your days be filled with joy. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
