Posted August 10, 2019 How much time you spend with a hobbyist. Does it change your feelings or just your xcxc book. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 10, 2019 What is your answer to your question? 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 10, 2019 3 hours ago, Turtle138 said: How much time you spend with a hobbyist. Does it change your feelings or just your xcxc book. Doesn’t anybody know how to write a complete, comprehensible sentence any more? In English please, what is your question? 8 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 10, 2019 Well... I would say it matters to me personally on occasion... mainly when meeting a lady I haven’t met and really looking forward to it... if I can I up the time 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 11, 2019 I would have to say yes, I am not doing this to get the most money. I like to take time talking and connecting so it all comes together. Nobody likes to rush physical activities and there’s nothing I hate more then saying you need to hurry up. It’s the most uncomfortable moment and I can’t stand saying it. So I would say time does matter and can change how much of a connection there is. 12 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 12, 2019 On 8/10/2019 at 8:11 PM, Madison Taylor said: I would have to say yes, I am not doing this to get the most money. I like to take time talking and connecting so it all comes together. Nobody likes to rush physical activities and there’s nothing I hate more then saying you need to hurry up. It’s the most uncomfortable moment and I can’t stand saying it. So I would say time does matter and can change how much of a connection there is. Yes I agree totally with Madison! Moving slowly with getting to know you. I also enjoy staying in contact. Once you’re my friend I like to continue on as friends! 😘😘 5 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 13, 2019 It can matter. There are some folks that we spend an hour with who are great wonderful people during that hour. Some we don’t see again. There are some guys that we see several times a year, and it’s like a long lost lover. There are some that we see often, spend lots of time chatting with, have great chemistry, and become personal friends. And just because someone does not fit into my last description, does not make them any less important or deserving of respect. The bottom line is if you don’t run a good business, and treat people nice and with respect, our “checkbook” will not matter. Doing research and paying attention should allow you to choose wisely. I don’t think anyone cares to be treated like nuisance and/or ATM. JMO 10 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 13, 2019 11 hours ago, Audrey Astor said: It can matter. There are some folks that we spend an hour with who are great wonderful people during that hour. Some we don’t see again. There are some guys that we see several times a year, and it’s like a long lost lover. There are some that we see often, spend lots of time chatting with, have great chemistry, and become personal friends. And just because someone does not fit into my last description, does not make them any less important or deserving of respect. The bottom line is if you don’t run a good business, and treat people nice and with respect, our “checkbook” will not matter. Doing research and paying attention should allow you to choose wisely. I don’t think anyone cares to be treated like nuisance and/or ATM. JMO Wish there more like you. You are a gem. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 13, 2019 11 hours ago, Audrey Astor said: It can matter. There are some folks that we spend an hour with who are great wonderful people during that hour. Some we don’t see again. There are some guys that we see several times a year, and it’s like a long lost lover. There are some that we see often, spend lots of time chatting with, have great chemistry, and become personal friends. And just because someone does not fit into my last description, does not make them any less important or deserving of respect. The bottom line is if you don’t run a good business, and treat people nice and with respect, our “checkbook” will not matter. Doing research and paying attention should allow you to choose wisely. I don’t think anyone cares to be treated like nuisance and/or ATM. JMO Audrey, you provided a perfect answer. I tried to think of something to add, but couldn't find anything missing. Thanks. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 13, 2019 On 8/10/2019 at 8:11 PM, Madison Taylor said: I would have to say yes, I am not doing this to get the most money. I like to take time talking and connecting so it all comes together. Nobody likes to rush physical activities and there’s nothing I hate more then saying you need to hurry up. It’s the most uncomfortable moment and I can’t stand saying it. So I would say time does matter and can change how much of a connection there is. On 8/11/2019 at 11:39 PM, Kali Sensual Reiki said: Yes I agree totally with Madison! Moving slowly with getting to know you. I also enjoy staying in contact. Once you’re my friend I like to continue on as friends! 😘😘 This is rarely actualized. Especially these last couple of years. Connections like the type Kali is describing occurred more often for me a decade ago. These days, most of the 'special bonds' that get developed turn out to be illusory in the end, or have ulterior designs. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 14, 2019 (edited) 2 hours ago, Vassago said: This is rarely actualized. Especially these last couple of years. Connections like the type Kali is describing occurred more often for me a decade ago. These days, most of the 'special bonds' that get developed turn out to be illusory in the end, or have ulterior designs. Sorry to hear Vassago. I have been reading up and I am not afraid to speak honestly about life. I believe a truly healthy well rounded person may have less friends later in life but the friends they do have are pretty tight! You know how that old song by the Beatles goes ”We get by with a little help from our friends” Edited August 14, 2019 by Kali Sensual Reiki 6 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 14, 2019 8 hours ago, Kali Sensual Reiki said: Sorry to hear Vassago. I have been reading up and I am not afraid to speak honestly about life. I believe a truly healthy well rounded person may have less friends later in life but the friends they do have are pretty tight! You know how that old song by the Beatles goes ”We get by with a little help from our friends” Love this Kali, and couldnt agree more. 10 hours ago, Vassago said: This is rarely actualized. Especially these last couple of years. Connections like the type Kali is describing occurred more often for me a decade ago. These days, most of the 'special bonds' that get developed turn out to be illusory in the end, or have ulterior designs. I find many times its not the ladies that change, but the guys. They take the fantasy and the fun and excitement they experienced in the beginning, then they twist and turn things and get all in their heads (not the little head), and start saying things like "you say that to all the guys" I mean we're SWrs. This is our profession. If you're expecting more than the good time you paid for, that's when things get weird. Just like in real life friends and lovers come an go. For me, the special bonds I make are always there...even if either party decides they'd like to move on so to speak. 6 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 14, 2019 3 hours ago, Hunter VanDyke said: I find many times its not the ladies that change, but the guys. They take the fantasy and the fun and excitement they experienced in the beginning, then they twist and turn things and get all in their heads (not the little head), and start saying things like "you say that to all the guys" I mean we're SWrs. This is our profession. If you're expecting more than the good time you paid for, that's when things get weird. Just like in real life friends and lovers come an go. For me, the special bonds I make are always there...even if either party decides they'd like to move on so to speak. Unfortunately, many guys have a hard time seperating sex from love/validation. It's difficult for them to be friends with a woman who has sex with many men. When I was in my twenties, if a woman had sex with someone other than me, I couldn't/wouldn't have sex with her (childish, I know!). I needed her to validate me, rather than me validating myself. Thank heavens I've grown up! 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 14, 2019 Yes it matters. Don’t spend more time than desired to enjoy the physical release and pleasantries. And don’t keep going back if you think there is more because believe me, there isn’t. Don’t learn the hard way. More plainly, keep it real. More time spent with her intimately talking and sharing personal experiences and such can somehow lead you to believe there's something developing. If you get to that point, wake up and run. Because next thing you know you’re playing Captain S OR White Knight and doing stupid things for her. Meanwhile, she’s got 13+ other guys who also feel the same way and they’re all just business associates and “friends”. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 14, 2019 (edited) 2 hours ago, pfunk said: Unfortunately, many guys have a hard time seperating sex from love/validation. It's difficult for them to be friends with a woman who has sex with many men. When I was in my twenties, if a woman had sex with someone other than me, I couldn't/wouldn't have sex with her (childish, I know!). I needed her to validate me, rather than me validating myself. Thank heavens I've grown up! Not sure if it’s growing up PFunk or if it’s just the nature of the beast ?! Sex and relationships are just plain difficult in nature. Grow up? Just wondering how the hell you separate the heart from the freakin Ego?! -I really feel for many of the lonely hearts. It’s not easy. Edited August 14, 2019 by Kali Sensual Reiki 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 14, 2019 (edited) If the ego is the voice of logic within the mind? Sorry I can totally see why we ALL can become carefully guarded in nature with life. Please don’t beat yourself up and enjoy the time for all that is worth. The human touch is vastly underrated or even understood! Loving thoughts for those struggling. Even with everything going right in life we all can have moments of weakness or emotions of love pain -I get that please reach out to a friend! No need to do the dark night of soul alone. —-ok damn it I will shut the hell up! Fucking world so messy Edited August 14, 2019 by Kali Sensual Reiki 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 14, 2019 What about the opposite end of the spectrum? When you start to like someone too much and agree to stop seeing each other before things get carried away....sigh 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 14, 2019 8 hours ago, pfunk said: Unfortunately, many guys have a hard time seperating sex from love/validation. It's difficult for them to be friends with a woman who has sex with many men. It can be the same for women too sometimes. Some providers struggle with this also. I feel like there's a lot of room for personal growth in this hobby for providers and for clients, and that spills over into our personal lives. It's neat to experience and neat to watch too. 💙 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 14, 2019 (edited) 8 minutes ago, jasminewaterss7 said: What about the opposite end of the spectrum? When you start to like someone too much and agree to stop seeing each other before things get carried away....sigh That's just sad!!! I do understand why it has to stop, though... Edited August 14, 2019 by pfunk 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 14, 2019 7 hours ago, Prayforrain said: More plainly, keep it real. More time spent with her intimately talking and sharing personal experiences and such can somehow lead you to believe there's something developing. If you get to that point, wake up and run. Because next thing you know you’re playing Captain S OR White Knight and doing stupid things for her. Meanwhile, she’s got 13+ other guys who also feel the same way and they’re all just business associates and “friends”. We're not all like that, but I realize some are. The something starting to devoloping/intimacy is the fun part for me. That should be no reason to run. I never ask a client friend for anything outside of our agreed upon visit. Well, the ones I become really close to, I reach out to for moral support sometimes, but I'm NOT trying to be rescued by ANYBODY. 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 14, 2019 On 8/12/2019 at 7:56 PM, Audrey Astor said: It can matter. There are some folks that we spend an hour with who are great wonderful people during that hour. Some we don’t see again. There are some guys that we see several times a year, and it’s like a long lost lover. There are some that we see often, spend lots of time chatting with, have great chemistry, and become personal friends. And just because someone does not fit into my last description, does not make them any less important or deserving of respect. The bottom line is if you don’t run a good business, and treat people nice and with respect, our “checkbook” will not matter. Doing research and paying attention should allow you to choose wisely. I don’t think anyone cares to be treated like nuisance and/or ATM. JMO So very true .. !00% 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 15, 2019 15 hours ago, Hunter VanDyke said: Love this Kali, and couldnt agree more. I find many times its not the ladies that change, but the guys. They take the fantasy and the fun and excitement they experienced in the beginning, then they twist and turn things and get all in their heads (not the little head), and start saying things like "you say that to all the guys" I mean we're SWrs. This is our profession. If you're expecting more than the good time you paid for, that's when things get weird. Just like in real life friends and lovers come an go. For me, the special bonds I make are always there...even if either party decides they'd like to move on so to speak. I’m not referring to an individual over the course of time. I’m referring to collective experience with many women over the course of time. And I haven’t really changed much in last 15 years. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 15, 2019 3 hours ago, Vassago said: And I haven’t really changed much in last 15 years. Then you just wasted 15 years. 4 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 15, 2019 There’s a few good ladies who I’ve know they could keep the boundaries while still allowing intimacy. That’s part of the conversations we’ve had and I have complete respect for them for establishing and maintaining those boundaries. My best times are with these two ladies because it’s all out in the open and there’s no games. We know where we stand and while there is still banter from time to time, they are good at keeping me in check and I remain on my best behavior. I think if this sort of communication can happen, then chances are better that the provider/client relationship can hit that sweet FWB spot that I think we’re seeking. Maybe in some cases a provider might catch feelings, but I think that’s pretty rare. I think chances are higher that you’re getting played by any provider who leads you to believe there is anything more going on between you. And man, that sucks when you fall for a hooker and get played. So, away remember, “caveat emptor!” Partaking in this hobby can lead to love blindness, weakened heart, emotional hallucinations, false sense of improved dignity, real sense of loss, and many other pitfalls! 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 15, 2019 I have been fortunate over the years. There are a number of YL (dwindling due to retirements) with whom I have a Friends w/paid benefits relationship. Just as I pay when I see my dentist, a personal friend, for his professional services, I also compensate these YL for BCD activities. However, that friendship smooths the way for these activities; make them seem more natural. So yes, it matters! On at least one occasion I have had a serious discussion with a friend about taking things to the next level. We mutually agreed that where we’re at now is best for the long term, though we both have strong feelings for each other. Bonds formed by helping each other through illness & hard times. We each have traits that, while tolerable for short periods, cause friction with extended exposure. Why mess with a good thing? 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 15, 2019 On 8/10/2019 at 5:04 PM, BadBoy said: Doesn’t anybody know how to write a complete, comprehensible sentence any more? Twit(ter) english rules the day. Face it, language evolves and we're now twits. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 15, 2019 (edited) 18 hours ago, BadBoy said: Then you just wasted 15 years. As I stated in a previous post, I don’t mind being called a time waster. I’ve wasted my whole life. Edited August 15, 2019 by Vassago 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 16, 2019 Awww, jeeze, Vassago, now I feel bad I was just a funnin' ya, tried to paraphrase a quote from the great one: 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 16, 2019 For me, when I'm hobbying, I'm conflicted between seeing someone new and sticking only with someone who is absolutely amazing. I've only repeated with a handful, despite how amazing almost all of the women I've seen have been. Now in a relationship, I'm wondering why I didn't see my favorite one or two even more. But then as Jasmine said, fear of getting too attached? (Jasmine, you're one of those, actually) Deep thoughts. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 16, 2019 On 8/14/2019 at 6:56 AM, pfunk said: Unfortunately, many guys have a hard time separating sex from love/validation. It's difficult for them to be friends with a woman who has sex with many men. Never had that problem. But then again I come from a very different part of the industry. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
