Posted May 4, 2019 We talked about it. Feelings were mutual, but neither really wanted a committed relationship. We backed off to VERY good friends. We have each other’s back, date when we’re in town, and don’t worry too much about the rest. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted May 4, 2019 Never took it that far. Probably best that I didn't. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted May 4, 2019 Guilty right here...everything was fine for the most part but then at one point right in the middle of a conversation via email she just ghosted.. haven’t heard anything since... it’s now been a year. I really hope she just moved on to a different life and nothing bad happened to her, but the way it ended has me worried... to this day I don’t think I’ll ever be the same... so, yeah... I’ve done stupid on steroids 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted May 4, 2019 We were a couple (lived together, shared joys and sorrows, etc.) for 9 years. Honestly, a great experience. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted May 4, 2019 It happened twice, the first we are still great friends she moved out of state. We visit each other periodically. The second became hard to deal with communications turned belligerent on her part. Hope she is OK, we have not communicaged in mongths. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted May 4, 2019 Been down that road three times. Was mutual and worked out well for awhile. Then we broke up after various amounts of time for normal relationship reasons. On the whole it was no different than any other dating situation. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted May 4, 2019 1 hour ago, Admiral C said: Been down that road three times. Was mutual and worked out well for awhile. Then we broke up after various amounts of time for normal relationship reasons. On the whole it was no different than any other dating situation. That’s interesting. Yes, it’s happened, but difficult for me to do this profession while actually “loving” someone. The job gets in the way of it being a normal relationship. I guess I’m too old school. In addition, I’d have a difficult time with my SO being ok with me doing this. Jmo though. 11 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted May 5, 2019 11 minutes ago, Audrey Astor said: That’s interesting. Yes, it’s happened, but difficult for me to do this profession while actually “loving” someone. The job gets in the way of it being a normal relationship. I guess I’m too old school. In addition, I’d have a difficult time with my SO being ok with me doing this. Jmo though. I agree with you. And there is nothing wrong with being old fashioned. It’s a dying art. I think for men they would eventually come up against their ego/insecurities. I think the ladies would be internally tortured knowing a sweet man is being turned inside out. He may agree with what you’re doing and say he accepts it, but it would be either a lie or state of denial. Eventually, right or wrong, he will come undone. The two worlds, this and committed relationships, should be kept apart. Just my two coppers. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted May 5, 2019 34 minutes ago, Vassago said: I agree with you. And there is nothing wrong with being old fashioned. It’s a dying art. I think for men they would eventually come up against their ego/insecurities. I think the ladies would be internally tortured knowing a sweet man is being turned inside out. He may agree with what you’re doing and say he accepts it, but it would be either a lie or state of denial. Eventually, right or wrong, he will come undone. The two worlds, this and committed relationships, should be kept apart. Just my two coppers. I know a couple relationships where this has worked out well for them for a long time. What works for some doesn't for others. Monogamy isn't for everyone, and you can't determine the state of mind for all men. Yes, it may be uncommon, but you can't say for those its worked well for its a lie, or state of denial. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted May 5, 2019 30 minutes ago, Hunter VanDyke said: I know a couple relationships where this has worked out well for them for a long time. What works for some doesn't for others. Monogamy isn't for everyone, and you can't determine the state of mind for all men. Yes, it may be uncommon, but you can't say for those its worked well for its a lie, or state of denial. I can say it. We disagree and that’s fine. -1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted May 5, 2019 1 hour ago, Vassago said: I agree with you. And there is nothing wrong with being old fashioned. It’s a dying art. I think for men they would eventually come up against their ego/insecurities. I think the ladies would be internally tortured knowing a sweet man is being turned inside out. He may agree with what you’re doing and say he accepts it, but it would be either a lie or state of denial. Eventually, right or wrong, he will come undone. The two worlds, this and committed relationships, should be kept apart. Just my two coppers. I would like to think that your assumption is based on the false belief that all men have ego and insecurity issues. I don't think you are qualified to say what another thinks or feels as being a lie or denial. I know you are not qualified to do so in regards to me. It would also logically extrapolate from your view that married men, or men with a S.O who hobby, do not really love her. Old fashion aside, your posts indicate an open and creative mind. I find it oddly out of character for you to just cookie cut characterize all guys like that. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted May 5, 2019 I never mentioned “issues”. All human beings have doubt ( I called it insecurity) at some point in their lives. Name me one human being you can say has never doubted themselves at some point. I also never mentioned hobbiests who love their SO. You said yourself you extrapolated that, but it’s a completely different topic. The OP opened the door for people to give their opinion. That’s what I wrote. You said I’m not qualified to speak for everyone. You are correct. However, I am able to speak TO everyone. That’s what I’ve done. Why would that bother you so much? 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted May 5, 2019 15 minutes ago, Vassago said: I never mentioned “issues”. All human beings have doubt ( I called it insecurity) at some point in their lives. Name me one human being you can say has never doubted themselves at some point. I also never mentioned hobbiests who love their SO. You said yourself you extrapolated that, but it’s a completely different topic. The OP opened the door for people to give their opinion. That’s what I wrote. You said I’m not qualified to speak for everyone. You are correct. However, I am able to speak TO everyone. That’s what I’ve done. Why would that bother you so much? I does not bother me much...it's just in error. As you said twice..."at some point". In the situations I referred to, it was not any of those points. You are entitled by...well..everything...to speak your opinion. I am entitled equally to speak mine. It is not opinion, but fact that your opinion, which you applied to me and others, is possibly incorrect with others, and certainly incorrect with me. That is the problem with blanket statements such as "it would be a lie or denial". You stated that as established fact and not your opinion. In doing so, you applied it to my situations and me, which is incorrect. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted May 5, 2019 10 minutes ago, Admiral C said: I does not bother me much...it's just in error. As you said twice..."at some point". In the situations I referred to, it was not any of those points. You are entitled by...well..everything...to speak your opinion. I am entitled equally to speak mine. It is not opinion, but fact that your opinion, which you applied to me and others, is possibly incorrect with others, and certainly incorrect with me. That is the problem with blanket statements such as "it would be a lie or denial". You stated that as established fact and not your opinion. In doing so, you applied it to my situations and me, which is incorrect. Very good. Thank you for sharing. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted May 5, 2019 I guess like everything in life there is that risk. Just depends on how much your willing to take? At the same time the loss of what you currently have. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted May 5, 2019 Yes I have twice. One I was in love with I think but I cut it off on my own as I thought I was overstepping my boundary. I am not sure how she truly felt about it but I think she had the same feelings for me. I still have feelings for her but have not seen her in a long time although we have seen each other once since then. My choice as I did not want the feelings to arise again. the other is a lady that I do love but in a friendly way and not romantic. We still see each other and I try to help her out as much as I can. I love her as a person. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted May 5, 2019 We were like any couple for over a year. She ended up leaving once her life got back on a better path. She would contact me when she needed my help, a favor or talk for a bit. Last time I saw her, she thanked me and said my place had been the most stable home/safest place she had known in 8 yrs. Then she disappeared. Never responded to calls or texts. Sometimes she would tell me things from her past that were not so pleasant and what she would do to numb the pain. So I worry about what became of her but I never contacted her family to ask. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted May 5, 2019 54 minutes ago, Alex Majors said: We were like any couple for over a year. She ended up leaving once her life got back on a better path. She would contact me when she needed my help, a favor or talk for a bit. Last time I saw her, she thanked me and said my place had been the most stable home/safest place she had known in 8 yrs. Then she disappeared. Never responded to calls or texts. Sometimes she would tell me things from her past that were not so pleasant and what she would do to numb the pain. So I worry about what became of her but I never contacted her family to ask. I’d like to think positive here Alex. I’m thinking she’s happy now with a different life. She made it out of one existence and into another one. One that is more suited to her needs. Sometimes discretion is the better part of valor. If it were me, I’d be both trivially happy and deeply sad should she ever reach out to me again. But that’s just me. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted May 5, 2019 11 hours ago, coolhand luke said: the other is a lady that I do love but in a friendly way and not romantic. We still see each other and I try to help her out as much as I can. I love her as a person. You're so sweet, and I could see this. There are several guys and gals here that I can say, I love. We really kind of get to know each other very fast, and very intimately (the ones that want to share personal stuff, not all do, and that's ok too). I think we have such a tight community, and there have been several that have really been caring, and there in a time of need, and I offer the same. :-) And back to some of the above banter, I was only stating what works for me. I do have married clients, and know that they truly are in love with their wife/SO. For some reason, they have sought out us ladies. That is why we are here. If I were married, and uninterested, became disabled or whatever, I'd rather my guy see one of the ladies as opposed to an affair. I just wanted to clarify that, and note that there is no room for JUDGEMENT here. Sorry to totally derail your post Turtle. 6 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted May 5, 2019 I'm getting the milk. Let someone else take care of the cow. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted May 5, 2019 I choose to stand aloof and not befriend anybody riiiigggghhhttt, like that's gonna work around nice, pretty, real people, with real lives, real problems, and real feelings. Not! 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted May 5, 2019 1 hour ago, Audrey Astor said: I just wanted to clarify that, and note that there is no room for JUDGEMENT here. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted May 7, 2019 Nope, have not told any lady I have met here that I was in love with her. For me being "in love" is different from "loving" someone. There are many things about the ladies I have met that I love, but have never been "in love" with any of them. They are each special in their own ways, but I am not looking for a romantic relationship, though I love companionship....and variety. I was married for many years and was in love with my wife. After our divorce I looked at what I wanted in life and instead of going the monogamous relationship route (which can be wonderful with the right person at the right time) I decided to see what this hobby was like. And discovered that I enjoyed it...immensely. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted May 8, 2019 2 hours ago, average1 said: I decided to see what this hobby was like. And discovered that I enjoyed it...immensely. And that is yet another way to go down an entirely different rabbit hole (and I'm falling in, right alongside of you, my friend). 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted May 8, 2019 I have felt a great amount of love for many of the women I have connected with through this hobby - the beautiful ladies with whom I was able to share a zen moment with during a session.... but being IN love is a whole other level of "connected-ness". I have wished for it to happen, but it seems to be a tricky dance that everyone (including myself) has difficulty learning. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted May 8, 2019 On 5/5/2019 at 10:15 AM, 2Big said: I'm getting the milk. Let someone else take care of the cow. Yes sir, but soon comes a day when there will be no milk for there will be no earth left. These "cows" shall choke on ash. Those of us that feed on them shall taste what they eat. I hope we all enjoy the taste of shit. " So have a good drown, as you go down, all alonedragged down by the stone" - David Jon Gilmour/Roger Waters 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted May 8, 2019 11 hours ago, BadBoy said: And that is yet another way to go down an entirely different rabbit hole (and I'm falling in, right alongside of you, my friend). Glad to know I am not alone and we are in it together. This can be a wonderful rabbit hole to explore. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
