Posted February 24, 2013 Should i just be honest, and say i'am into escorts and porn. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 24, 2013 If you are looking for someone to be your life buddy in the hobby, be honest. If you are looking to change your evil ways, he'll no! 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 24, 2013 Should i just be honest, and say i'am into escorts and porn. Yes. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 24, 2013 I'd be honest and put it....maybe word it better, but be honest. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 24, 2013 i think 99.9 percent of guys would admit to being 'into' porn. as far as explaining escorts, you're on your own there. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 24, 2013 No, no, and no. I wouldn't do it. People like to say they prefer honesty, but then when you give it to them up front, they don't like what they hear and automatically go into their own judgmental mode. I guess it depends on what you are looking for, but I would give them what they want to hear first, then drop small doses of that honesty in over time. They either like you enough to change and be open minded from that point going forward, or, they're not. Either way, make it work for you, whatever it is. I will just say if you put that up front...............more than likely you will be shooting yourself in the foot. Sounds ruthless, and others probably will not like it, but welcome to life. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 24, 2013 OK, so what if he puts that he likes variety or just casual dating? Lots of women like that too. Then he wouldn't be lying and they would know what to expect. If he lies, then he'd be wasting his time, spending money and taking women out that arn't what he is looking for. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 24, 2013 It depends on what you're looking for: emotional relationship or sexual encounters. While I would not be as explicit as to mention escorts & porn in your ad. I would: 1) mention that you expect a significant sexual component in any relationship and 2) as the relationship evolves, bring in the porn & escorts The social stigma of these activities would cause any ad mentioning them to be no more fruitful than an ISO posted here on TOB while exposing your foibles to a wider audience. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 24, 2013 Should i just be honest, and say i'am into escorts and porn. Depends on what site and the purpose for the personal ad I suppose~ 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 24, 2013 Place two ads and see which one draws the most attention. One ad where you are being brutally honest and the other ad where you are being honest but withholding some (a lot of) truth until you know the person just a little bit more. Just a thought .... ???? 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 24, 2013 If you want to limit the number if responses, by all means include that in your ad. But I wouldn't expect any responses except a few from escorts and they still won't date you for free. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 24, 2013 Place two ads and see which one draws the most attention. One ad where you are being brutally honest and the other ad where you are being honest but withholding some (a lot of) truth until you know the person just a little bit more. Just a thought .... ???? I think a good portion of folks (men and women) do this anyhow. lol 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 24, 2013 No, no, and no. I wouldn't do it. People like to say they prefer honesty, but then when you give it to them up front, they don't like what they hear and automatically go into their own judgmental mode. I guess it depends on what you are looking for, but I would give them what they want to hear first, then drop small doses of that honesty in over time. They either like you enough to change and be open minded from that point going forward, or, they're not. Either way, make it work for you, whatever it is. I will just say if you put that up front...............more than likely you will be shooting yourself in the foot. Sounds ruthless, and others probably will not like it, but welcome to life. So you give a woman bogus information about yourself making her think you are the person she wants. then over time let her know that you are not really the guy she wants and expect her to change. what should he do after that, talk about what a bitch she is because she told him to piss off and dumps him? 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 25, 2013 Wellllllll...I don't know that painting the worst possible picture, early in a relationship, is the best way to build a relationship. Then again Boink...considering what you or I know about successful relationships??? If some idiot choses to listen to us...we're shining example of what he should expect in accomplish:p So you give a woman bogus information about yourself making her think you are the person she wants. then over time let her know that you are not really the guy she wants and expect her to change. what should he do after that, talk about what a bitch she is because she told him to piss off and dumps him? 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 25, 2013 So you give a woman bogus information about yourself ... Nobody said to provide bogus information, you just don't need to lay the whole naked truth at first blush. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 25, 2013 (edited) I personally think Boinky is right. But then again, I have laid out the whole naked truth on the first date, with someone I care about and don't wanna lie to...But hey, that's me. I prefer to always be honest. I'm hoping one day that builds trust and means something. So tell me guys, If you met a girl on a dating site, would you wanna know right off the bat if she were a provider? Of course you would. Edited February 25, 2013 by Velvet Valentine sp. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 25, 2013 There was a news item recently about an older guy who put in his profile on a dating site that he was looking for sex in any relationship. The news item make kind of a big deal of it, but I bet it got ride of most of the responders he wasn't interested in. He apparently did get a lot of positive responses. I don't see any reason to mention hookers if you are looking for a straight relationship though. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 25, 2013 I personally think Boinky is right. But then again, I have laid out the whole naked truth on the first date, with someone I care about and don't wanna lie to...But hey, that's me. I prefer to always be honest. I'm hoping one day that builds trust and means something. So tell me guys, If you met a girl on a dating site, would you wanna know right off the bat if she were a provider? Of course you would. Truthfully, not right off the bat. Before we got serious enough to get intimate? Probably. If it looks like we'll click and have a 2nd date, perhaps you could slip it into the conversation near the end of the 1st date if you think I'd be kool with the knowledge. But it's not something I think you should blurt out before we even meet. Because I hobby, it won't freak me out, but it is something we'd need to discuss before we became an item. If I were a civilian? I'm not sure how I'd react, regardless of whether I knew before or after our first date. I'm not saying one should lie about what one does, but we don't need to know everything before that first date. There are LOTS of things I wouldn't mention. Things like: I hate gin. I like scotch. I practice classical guitar, but play poorly. I carve wooden objects. I'm fair at swing & hustle, but I don't remember how to do the Majestic, and my two-step is rusty. These are things we would learn about each other over time. Exploring each others' interests is part of the adventure of dating. Save some mystery to further the adventure. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 25, 2013 Velvet, how do you care about someone enough to tell them you're an escort on a first date though? 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 25, 2013 Well, kind of, some of the information you would be giving wouldn't be entirely bogus, and yes, some of it might be (like maybe you are not into skydiving) but, you just don't divulge too much information (especially that information) that more than likely will count you out from the get go. Once you are in a relationship, slowly you drop those things in, or they just get found out. In some cases you might end up getting dumped, but in many other cases............maybe they like you enough to accept those things, join, or accept. Hey, it's worked for me with many one nighters and relationships, some it didn't, but if I said I was addicted to porn and escorts from the start (or in a post)................I wouldn't of even had a start to begin with. I mean really, another poster said it right, put up two separate posts. The one with honesty and the one with fluff. See which one you get more responses to. I personally know what has worked for me on my non-hobbying side, and it definitely wasn't by giving out that kind of information. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 25, 2013 Velvet, how do you care about someone enough to tell them you're an escort on a first date though? Simple...If you care enough about being a decent human being you be honest and don't waste anyone's time. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 25, 2013 I prefer honesty. If am seriously considering a partner then honesty is a very important factor. Pinpointing exactly when honesty is needed when meeting someone new can be hard. I would say as a rule of thumb if you are planning on getting intimate with someone then current sexual activity is important to share. You may not have to say right away that you are an escort/john but for the sake and safety of everyone else promiscuity should probably be shared. It is a double edged sword of sorts, you certainly don't want to spill all your dirt too soon but you have to be honest enough about who you are so whoever you meet can have the choice as to whether or not they want to pursue. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 25, 2013 So tell me guys, If you met a girl on a dating site, would you wanna know right off the bat if she were a provider? Of course you would. When I was living on the East Coast, I screwed lots of working girls who also had profiles on the then emerging "dating sites" like match.com or yahoo personals. Would I want to know. Obviously. Would I date a working girl once I found out? No. Friends with benefits, no strings attached fuck? Sure. Added: When I date a civilian girl, I store away my porn collection (which now involves password-protecting my harddrives) and don't tell her that I bang hookers/see girls off of CL when I'm not dating. Why does she need to know? Loose lips sink ships. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 25, 2013 (edited) OMG! I did match when I first moved back to Colorado! I PINKY Swear i did not bang one. I had a date breakfast, lunch, happy hour and dinner! It Felt like one after another of a horrible interview process. I lead with "Im a former porn star".. dear lord. Then I lead with "I was an event planner". Lies Totally Sucks. Truth Totally Sucks. The Hobby and Dating are Apples and Oranges! Thats what I learned. While Companioning...I dont ever talk about boner killers like work/ stress/ smoking or non smoking, [snip] , 2 ex's, religion, [snip].. [snip] ... drink a little- drink a lot. But thats all the stuff that IS important while dating, it is like the top of the dating profile! Theres not a category for Porn a little-Porn a lot. I agree with using words like "open-minded" "casual dating" "Loves Board Game Nights, like Twister" "loves intimate group settings" "open to meeting Your friends" "Enjoys Happy Hours and Half Hours" "Does P90x with a maximum heart rate reached twice in a hour.Loves trying New Positions" "Enjoys the Shake Weight" "Supports your need for Girls Night, like pillow fights" "loves to tryThe Appetizer at home before hitting the 5280 Restaurant Week" "loves the variety of Colfax" "likes watching romantic comedies like "Pretty Woman" "Loves Video On Demand" "film buff" Edited February 26, 2013 by boink36 Forbidden topics removed. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 25, 2013 (edited) You'd do it for honesty's sake? Really? It amazes me how many people on here think "honesty is always the best policy". I'll pause for a quick ironic break... I don't think it's smart to tell internet land, where God only knows who is reading, your personal business. You might as well contact your local PD and make it easier for them. Time for blanketing stereotypes and statistics I made up: I am going to say that more than half of us on this board lie somewhat regularly. Whether it's something as innocuous as "What's your name?" or "How was your day?" both of these questions result in lies from a pretty good sized chunk of us. We say these lies to protect ourselves. It's totally natural and human nature not to incriminate yourself especially when dealing with things that are illegal. Keep your crimes to yourself. That should be a no brainer. I am not saying lie all the time (you have to be honest if you want true intimacy and a "real" relationship) but don't put your business on the street unless you know the potential blow back. Unless you can gauge the person and know a little about their life experiences and outlook, I would keep my private business to myself. You never know what someone else has gone through and how they will react when you tell them you see/are a working gal(s). Edited February 25, 2013 by Lovely_Leigh wording 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 25, 2013 Ummm, I dont think I said post it openly with your face pic like a public ad....LOL. I said be honest...meaning maybe in your first conversation. Maybe that doesnt work for everyone, but if you think lying is going to get you farther, you are fooling yourself. Good luck with that. You'd do it for honesty's sake? Really? It amazes me how many people on here think "honesty is always the best policy". I'll pause for a quick ironic break... I don't think it's smart to tell internet land, where God only knows who is reading, your personal business. You might as well contact your local PD and make it easier for them. Time for blanketing stereotypes and statistics I made up: I am going to say that more than half of us on this board lie somewhat regularly. Whether it's something as innocuous as "What's your name?" or "How was your day?" both of these questions result in lies from a pretty good sized chunk of us. We say these lies to protect ourselves. It's totally natural and human nature not to incriminate yourself especially when dealing with things that are illegal. Keep your crimes to yourself. That should be a no brainer. I am not saying lie all the time (you have to be honest if you want true intimacy and a "real" relationship) but don't put your business on the street unless you know the potential blow back. Unless you can gauge the person and know a little about their life experiences and outlook, I would keep my private business to myself. You never know what someone else has gone through and how they will react when you tell them you see/are a working gal(s). 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 25, 2013 Ummm, I dont think I said post it openly with your face pic like a public ad....LOL. I said be honest...meaning maybe in your first conversation. Maybe that doesnt work for everyone, but if you think lying is going to get you farther, you are fooling yourself. Good luck with that. He titled the post "Writing a Personal ad" so I assumed he was asking if he should include it in the text of the ad. My answer is a HUGE NO!!! 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 25, 2013 (edited) I am of course no expert on relationships. My thoughts are of course just my own. That being said, signing up for a dating site in my mind means you are a person looking for a long term relationship possibly culminating in marriage. If that is what you seek, I would strongly recommend that you try to find someone that fulfills as many of your needs as possible including sexually. If I were seeking a relationship, I would probably word it so that like minded men would be intrigued and less "adventurous" men would move on. Things like "I am a sexually free person", I am interested in in a possible open relationship", " I do not believe in ownership of or by my partner" etc. truthfully though, if I were wanting a traditional relationship instead I would just change careers and leave it all in the past. We all have bits of our previous lives and misspent youth that we should not be held accountable for after they no longer apply. By the way, I think the OP was trying to be funny... And it was! Edited February 25, 2013 by sexymaid Foiled again by autocorrect 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 25, 2013 Ummm, I dont think I said post it openly with your face pic like a public ad....LOL. I said be honest...meaning maybe in your first conversation. Maybe that doesnt work for everyone, but if you think lying is going to get you farther, you are fooling yourself. Good luck with that. He titled the post "Writing a Personal ad" so I assumed he was asking if he should include it in the text of the ad. My answer is a HUGE NO!!! You're both right! In the text of the ad - NO! In an early face-to-face conversation - Maybe, if things seem like they're clicking. IMHO: Tell a falsehood(lie) - No, but you don't need to tell everything to everybody all at once. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
