"Hobbyists" are not necessarily the best clients.

[Bit Banger]

From another thread in the Colorado forum:

No lump of coal, just an epiphany. "Hobbyists" are not necessarily the best clients. Sometimes yes and sometimes no. Some of the coolest guys are new to all this. Individual differences, every guy is different.

I've heard this thought expressed before. Probably similar to, "Doctors make terrible patients." There are probably lots of reasons for this, but I suspect it's primarily because we are educated consumers. We know what to expect when we call, when she walks in the door, when she leaves, and everything in between. We can also be a more demanding client. We tend to know what to look for when things aren't quite right. Stolen pictures, bait & switch, 3G, over-acting - these practices don't make the grade.

Anyone care to contribute?

[nowiamt]

I've heard from providers that some hobbyists use their familiarity with the "hobby" to take advantage of the situation. eg: threaten with a bad review; use others' (often dishonest) review material to cajole for more than the provider is comfortable with; push new girls to extend their boundaries. There are probably more examples.

So, I agree that while a hobbyist can spot the BS and is less liable to put up with it, I also think our familiarity with things has reduced the trepidation we felt when we were newbies, and some guys take advantage of that compared to when we were wet behind the ears. ( I kind of like that image

[Lucy Kitten]

I think the "hobbiest" that Bethanie refers to is the one that presumes there is a Golden Rule book and that they are so certain they know all the ins and outs and has set expectations.

Threats for bad reviews are very common. So is someone using their TOB handle (note: their useless handle) to try and pull some weight.

Certain "hobbiests" I feel seem to put themselves at a higher rank because they are somehow better than any other guy visiting a provider. Like we as the providers should be able to distinguish who they are and treat them accordingly, that we need to treat them well under the threat of they are all so knowledgeable and will write a bad review.

There are men that do this as a hobby and there are men that call themselves "hobbiests". There is a distinction. One does this for fun and the other does "research", they seem to like to sniff out things like stolen pictures and what not but they also don't seem to actually partake as often because over time I think the "hobbiest" sets their expectations way too high and they would rather preach what everyone should be doing then do it themselves.

The best clients are those that show up enthusiastic and without expectation.

[Wendy Whitney]

The best clients are those that show up enthusiastic and without expectation.

And without "entitlement" issues:)

[angela aspen]

I admit... I LOVE/HATE them Both!

[snip]

Fact: Newbies can be ASSHOLES. Newbies ask for pics. Newbies ask for videos. Newbies show up whenever. Newbies use Terms that make my mom blush...Newbies don't clean down there.

A hobbiest? I LOVE when they have banged my friends. Ask me to join with my friends. They are the secret of me... and tons of others! We are a little private clique of "The Cool Table".

Fact: Hobbiests are ASSHOLES! They stop short of calling the police when they dont get the TIME THEY want. They call the police if you are not aware how famous a manwhore they are. They call the police when... well.. nobody can get their dick hard for the THIRD SHOT ON GOAL and write reviews if you dont let them stay 90 minutes. They are ARMED with a Review Handle and you better lick their asshole, get fucked in the tail pipe, let them stay for dinner, do their laundry... or ELSE!!!

Bottom line, like politics... I can handle "The Middle Of The Road"

[Bethanie]

Enthusiasm is the god/goddess within!

It is my very favorite thing, and the determining factor in who are the best clients, whether newbies or hobbyists. To me, it is all about happiness, fun, and sensual magic.

To me, the biggest turnoff is a guy who has a little clipboard in hand, deducting points and pursing his lips making a pissyface, because he is "prominent" and therefore I should have had flaming hoops set up in advance for me to jump through at the snap of his fingers.

Well okay, I don't mind the snapping of fingers, because specific instructions can be very helpful. Everyone likes their bj how they like it. This is a good thing. What I don't get is guys who want us to be psychic. For god's sake, interact and say what you want to say! Slower, faster, deeper, softer, more vigorously - I love newbies because they are spontaneous and real.

To the OP, I read your post and read your reviews. YES providers read about your likes and preferences to prepare for your session, but why not be helpful and spell it out, too?

Expecting your provider to have noticed your birthdate is a little too much IMO. If she did who knows, this may have displeased you if you have birthday depression or something.

The best sessions are when we are both like puppies. We love everything, we have a great time, and we both have fun and lose ourselves in the moment.

[Bethanie]

They are ARMED with a Review Handle and you better lick their asshole, get fucked in the tail pipe, let them stay for dinner, do their laundry... or ELSE!!!

That was funny. Laundry should be extra. Ancient Chinese secret ...

[rbjeep4x4]

Very well put! Ladies, Girls, Mothers, Women and providers are to be treated with the same respect and same way you you wish to be treated in return!!!!

[Guest hgritstoo]

I find myself at that odd point where I am both newbie and hobbiest. My ¢2...

The best clients are those that show up enthusiastic and without expectation.

While I will always be enthusiastic about getting laid....I will also have expectations: 1) I WILL get laid 2) I will receive a close amount of time for which I paid. 3) I will be treated like a human being with feelings.

If I wasn't expecting these things, why waste my time?

And without "entitlement" issues:)

Entitlement is a bad word. Fair service for fair value.......isn't everyone "entitled" to this?

I admit... I LOVE/HATE them Both!

Fact: Newbies can be ASSHOLES.

Fact: Hobbiests are ASSHOLES!!!

Bottom line, like politics... I can handle "The Middle Of The Road"

Angela, I see where you are going, I think. But your post reads like you hate men in general. I'm sorry. All I can say is probably some or most have earned your despite.....but not all of us.

Which brings us to.....

Very well put! Ladies, Girls, Mothers, Women and providers are to be treated with the same respect and same way you you wish to be treated in return!!!!

Folks.... Respect is key. I know I'm payin' for your time and more. I try my damndest to treat every lady I am with, with as much respect as I can. You are all human beings worthy of that. Likewise, I can tell when I am treated with respect or not. And I deserve it just as much as you do.

Experienced hobbiests can lose their respect for ladies.

And familiarity breeds contempt. Providers lose their respect for men in general.

A great pity. This should be fun

[lilithia]

you are assuming that the men have respect for women in general and the providers have respect for men in general.

For myself I have respect for a few men.

Lilithia

[nairobi09]

Everybody is different and deserves to be treated as an individual.

Although this is the way that I have tried to live my life not everyone

does.

The main thing that being a hobbyist has gotten me is enough experience to

recognize when it is about the $$ and nothing more despite how much

friendship seems to be offered. I am still learning.

I aspire to treat the provider the way that I would like to be treated (although

I don't like my nipples sucked!). But I do not want to get hurt either.

[Guest hgritstoo]

you are assuming that the men have respect for women in general and the providers have respect for men in general.

For myself I have respect for a few men.

Lilithia

No. I am assuming nothing. I am saying both providers and clients should be treated with respect by each other. I recognize that it does not happen as often as it should.

Continuous lack of proper respect leads to pompous, "entitled" clients and cranky, sarcastic providers.

[Lucy Kitten]

No. I am assuming nothing. I am saying both providers and clients should be treated with respect by each other. I recognize that it does not happen as often as it should.

Continuous lack of proper respect leads to pompous, "entitled" clients and cranky, sarcastic providers.

Hey I resemble that remark!!!!

[AaBrenly]

I show up enthusiastic (the reason for the appointment) but do have expectations due to my research on previous reviews and posts on the Board. I try to make it the same as I did when I started in this hobby - Out for some no strings attached fun - Just hopefully a little less nervous than in the beginning...

[2Big]

Folks who hobby internationally are spoiled rotten, and coming back to the U.S is a huge letdown.

The majority of providers here in the United States are middle aged and overweight house wives who think they are God's gift to men. You open the door, and it's: is the AARP now canvassing the neighborhood for donations?

You travel to Costa Rica, DomRep, Bulgaria, Romania, Ukraine, Hungary, Czech Republic, etc. and you find truckloads of beautiful 20 somethings with tight bodies, no stretch marks, tits that don't sag, plus great attitude and terrific service.

Return to the States and it takes 3 weeks to set up an appointment, she wont go there, she wont go here, she doesn't do this, and she doesn't do that.

[Flanker]

you are assuming that the men have respect for women in general and the providers have respect for men in general.

For myself I have respect for a few men.

Lilithia

Solid. I respect women in general, including all providers, but my experiences and having had contact with them allows for changes of opinion on an individual basis. I have incredible respect for some here, because of this!! On the other hand, I have been told there are some providers who really like me a whole lot, and some others, not so much........I guess it all depends.

Edited December 28, 2012 by Flanker
left out a couple words.

[defendingbluelines-5503]

So is someone using their TOB handle (note: their useless handle) to try and pull some weight.

Certain "hobbiests" I feel seem to put themselves at a higher rank because they are somehow better than any other guy visiting a provider. Like we as the providers should be able to distinguish who they are and treat them accordingly, that we need to treat them well under the threat of they are all so knowledgeable and will write a bad review.

I typically will send an intro email and include my handle here so she can look me up, screen me to some extent, check out my reviews and posts etc. I am not looking for any special treatment and I have never threatened any provider with any type of review. Good or bad.

I suppose I should stop mentioning who I am, just send an email saying "hey babe, how about hooking up at your place this afternoon?...."

Yeah - that would be better

DBL out

[Bit Banger]

you are assuming that the men have respect for women in general and the providers have respect for men in general.

For myself I have respect for a few men.

Lilithia

Perhaps your lack of respect is a self-fulfilling prophecy. Ye shall reap what ye sow.

[Wendy Whitney]

Entitlement is a bad word. Fair service for fair value.......isn't everyone "entitled" to this?

Absolutely!

I should have clarified my statement.

The entitled client wants/expects preferential treatment, extra time, possibly a discount, thinks he can push boundaries, makes you feel like he is doing you a favor by seeing you, etc. An uneven playing field in their favor only.

[Lucy Kitten]

Absolutely!

I should have clarified my statement.

The entitled client wants/expects preferential treatment, extra time, possibly a discount, thinks he can push boundaries, makes you feel like he is doing you a favor by seeing you, etc. An uneven playing field in their favor only.

Everyone deserves fair treatment but I think you had it right with entitled. I know these guys get prickly because they like to take things so personally but entitlement does make for a crappy client.

[fork]

I suppose I should stop mentioning who I am, just send an email saying "hey babe, how about hooking up at your place this afternoon?...."

That's all I do. I think I've told one woman my handle on here, because she asked. I've mentioned to a few that I read the board (usually when encouraging newer ladies to do the same and get educated here).

I guess I don't see any real reason to mention my handle.

[Wendy Whitney]

Enthusiasm is the god/goddess within!

It is my very favorite thing, and the determining factor in who are the best clients, whether newbies or hobbyists. To me, it is all about happiness, fun, and sensual magic.

Amen:)

[boink36]

Absolutely!

I should have clarified my statement.

The entitled client wants/expects preferential treatment, extra time, possibly a discount, thinks he can push boundaries, makes you feel like he is doing you a favor by seeing you, etc. An uneven playing field in their favor only.

Ok lets even out the playing field a little, you can tie me to the bed.

[Lovely_Leigh]

I've only had two gents say "I'm a reviewer..." as in "I want allowances". I was still green and the first time could tell from his tone he wanted something. Sure enough, he hinted at bareback ("Do we have to use that?" referring to the condom I reached for). I didn't feel comfortable because it was almost like a vailed threat. I mentally prepared myself for the next time someone tried the "I'm a reviewer" line. When the second guy said it with the lingering tone of wanting more I quipped in my best Valley Girl "OMG! I am too! Isn't it great! All you gotta do is sign up!". I think he got the picture---or he thought I was too dumb to understand what he was hinting at. For the record, neither of those "reviewers" reviewed me. Maybe it was a line. Maybe I wasn't "review worthy". Who knows...

[pfunk]

For the record, neither of those "reviewers" reviewed me. Maybe it was a line. Maybe I wasn't "review worthy". Who knows...

Any guy who uses the "I'm a reviewer..." bullshit is a pathetic loser wannabee, who is trying to "get a better value". His reviews are worthless. (My opinion and worth what you paid for it.) Seriously, would you go to the Chop House, the Keg, or even Swifts, and say "I'm a reviewer..."? Wadda dufus move. I think it's a good idea to let a girl know your reviewer handle when you book, (for her research) but that's all.

However, I guess I'm a hobbyist, as I do research to find girls who seem to be fun and joyful, and sorta GFE. I just wanna have a good time with somebody!

[Lovely_Leigh]

Totally agree 100%. Typically when someone says they are a reviewer it's for screening purposes or in passing "I'm 'So and so' and I would like to write a review for you...". I'm really glad I've only had two that thought being a member of some free online review forum equaled liberties.

[Bit Banger]

I provide my board handle or P411 ID (through P411) for screening purposes.

As the session winds down, I will usually ask, "May I write a review?" or words to that effect.

Those who extort services deserve the douche bag treatment - flush them down the drain!

[Pirate]

For myself I have respect for a few men.

Lilithia

I'm in agreement with Lilithia on this point. Most men nowadays are unworthy of respect.

I don't consider myself a "hobbyist." I only see an escort when I'm between girlfriends, and treat her the same as a girlfriend because that's where my comfort zone is, and that's what I prefer.

[Audrey Astor]

I typically will send an intro email and include my handle here so she can look me up, screen me to some extent, check out my reviews and posts etc. I am not looking for any special treatment and I have never threatened any provider with any type of review. Good or bad.

I suppose I should stop mentioning who I am, just send an email saying "hey babe, how about hooking up at your place this afternoon?...."

Yeah - that would be better

DBL out

I appreciate the intro type of email you are discussing. It helps me get to know you a little, and do a little research to make sure we are a good fit. I totally would not change that if I were you.