Posted February 9, 2021 So….. am I the only female who really does not care for Valentine’s Day? Like I get it, it’s a day for love and showing people that you love and care for them, but why does it have to be one day a year. Why should there be a day dedicated to letting others know you care about them by spending tons of money? Why aren’t we living our lives every single day making other people feel loved? I think my disdain for Valentines day can be traced to my childhood, specifically middle to high school. You see I grew up in a very small town a town where everyone knew everyone else. The school I went to was the only school in town. Every year on Valentines day, the office and halls would be filled with balloons, chocolates, and flowers from people who had sent valentine deliveries to their kids, or perhaps boyfriends who had something delivered for their girlfriend. Nearly every valentine’s day I would walk the halls empty handed looking at all the wonderful things everyone else got, and although it should not have, it made me feel very envious of those people and honestly unloved. Now, I had boyfriends a time or two on Valentines but not the type that would buy flowers or chocolates, or could even afford to do so, and my parents, well they were barely scraping buy to make ends meet so they definitely could not afford to send their 5 kids valentines’ gifts to school. I understand that now as an adult, but as a teenager, it just made me feel like I was unworthy of such wonderful things. Material things, that is all it was, and because I did not receive them like many of my classmates it made me feel unworthy and unloved?! Think about it, how many classroom valentines’ parties can you remember having as a child? Maybe one every year, starting in kindergarten, and you watch as people pass out valentines cards and treats to their friends in class. So, from a very young age we are taught that if people love us they will show us by giving us things on this very special day. It makes me ill to think about and it’s no wonder that every year Valentine’s comes along I don’t have happy memories to go a long with it. Now, I’m not saying that people should not celebrate it, but it’s not a happy fun-loving celebration for everyone. Some people absolutely despise it, and probably do their very best to avoid it at all cost. For others it might cause so much depression and sadness that it causes them to be bed ridden for the entire month of February. Social media makes it even harder because now instead of only being in the halls seeing all these people who are loved and spoiled with gifts, you also see it from hundreds of your friends on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter etc. I want to feel loved and cared about every day of the year. And I want to do my best to make those around me feel that love as well. If you are one of those people lucky enough to have a special someone in your life, and you want to spoil them on Valentines Day by all means do that but show them love all the time. If you are someone who does not have someone in their life to love or to be loved by, love yourself, and do something special just for you, I promise you it can make all the difference in the world. XOXOXO 11 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 9, 2021 Hopefully I did not break any rules by posting this, I just thought it would be nice to share with you all! XOXO 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 9, 2021 Agree. It can be a tough day for many..... 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 9, 2021 Personally, I am turned off by 'commercial' holidays like Valentines Day. So much better to do spontaneous things, rather than what advertisers suggest we do. 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 9, 2021 2 hours ago, Marilyn Desire said: I want to feel loved and cared about every day of the year. And I want to do my best to make those around me feel that love as well. If you are one of those people lucky enough to have a special someone in your life, and you want to spoil them on Valentines Day by all means do that but show them love all the time. If you are someone who does not have someone in their life to love or to be loved by, love yourself, and do something special just for you, I promise you it can make all the difference in the world. XOXOXO Thank you, for posting this! What a wonderful sentiment! 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 9, 2021 We all want loving, attention and want to feel wanted on Valentines Day. But Valentines Day can be a very harsh and creul day for many people I remember when I was in grade school back in the 50's and early 60's when we always handed out Valentine Cards to everybody in our class (you have to be old to remember doing this). And the disappointment if you didn't receive a card from the one person in your class that you had a secret crush on. Very cruel. Unfortunately it still happens today. Let's everybody try to be nice to everyone else here on TOB on Valentines Day. It will make the day brighter and tolerable for those who doesn't have that someone special in their life. 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 9, 2021 I dislike the manufactured expectation that this is THE day to express an emotion. Synthetic "holidays" result in far too many synthetic displays. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 10, 2021 4 hours ago, pfunk said: Thank you, for posting this! What a wonderful sentiment! Aww thank you, your welcome! 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 10, 2021 2 hours ago, ilovewomen said: I remember when I was in grade school back in the 50's and early 60's when we always handed out Valentine Cards to everybody in our class (you have to be old to remember doing this). And the disappointment if you didn't receive a card from the one person in your class that you had a secret crush on. Very cruel. Unfortunately it still happens today. Truer words could not be spoken! I remember those days like yesterday! 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 10, 2021 I know it is a manufactured holiday, but when I was married or in a relationship, I loved it. Since being divorced and single, I refer to it as "SAD" ( Single Awareness Day). A few years ago I took a few day vacation to the mountains. I went out to dinner, forgetting it was Valentine's Day and I was the only single person in the restaurant. Made me SAD. I won't be doing that again on Valentine's Day. When there is someone to share it with, it can be wonderful. For some of us it is a reminder of good times gone by. 5 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 10, 2021 My last LTR I would usually 'surprise' a week or two before Valentine's Day, which had a few advantages, including an easier time booking things, but also the fact it was indeed a surprise (and the effort gone to create a 'ruse' to get her out with short notice). Like I said, the holiday is fine, but I'd rather express the same sentiments year-round, and not just when they're 'expected' by someone or society. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 10, 2021 2 hours ago, Phil-anderer said: Like I said, the holiday is fine, but I'd rather express the same sentiments year-round, and not just when they're 'expected' by someone or society. Certainly nothing wrong with that! In fact I find it quite admirable! Unfortunately, some of us require reminders, like Valentine's Day, to prompt us to express ourselves. Unfortunately, I am currently single, alas! 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 11, 2021 12 hours ago, average1 said: I know it is a manufactured holiday, but when I was married or in a relationship, I loved it. Since being divorced and single, I refer to it as "SAD" ( Single Awareness Day). A few years ago I took a few day vacation to the mountains. I went out to dinner, forgetting it was Valentine's Day and I was the only single person in the restaurant. Made me SAD. I won't be doing that again on Valentine's Day. When there is someone to share it with, it can be wonderful. For some of us it is a reminder of good times gone by. Not only Valentine’s Day. Being single and going out to a restaurant, the host/hostess invariably asks “Just one/you?” , “Are you alone?” Always makes a single person feel welcome. I also get tired of the huge commercialization of being single is stigmatized around holidays. One of the reasons I refer to Valentine’s Day as V.D. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 12, 2021 Marilyn are you the only female, don't think so? I tend to date really healthy women in the civi world. A healthy partner myself, I always love to surprise my SO with spontaneous gifts I see whenever the time may cross throughout the year. Small things like cards, desserts, gifts, wild flowers, or concerts, comedy shows, or booking cool travel plans. This is what I like to do! So I'm not offended by a little more effort on Valentines day. The only thing I'm not fond of is trying to make it to an overcrowded favorite restaurant on that day. But V-day and other special days(birthdays, anniversaries, and Christmas), I don't mind showing them a little extra love and attention. Most my partners don't have monetary expectations. I choose to do that on my own. If you have a great partner. It's fun to be with them most everyday. The extra effort and surprise makes it fun. So worth it! I'm more offended by Christmas. I don't need to see any of that crap before Halloween! The commercialization of that holiday is so much more gross! And same thing regarding the god damn music. Can't we just at least wait till we get over Thanksgiving. Maybe that's just the Atheist in me or me not wanting to be a parent......... 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 13, 2021 (edited) On 2/10/2021 at 10:34 PM, amcbl1 said: Not only Valentine’s Day. Being single and going out to a restaurant, the host/hostess invariably asks “Just one/you?” , “Are you alone?” Always makes a single person feel welcome. I also get tired of the huge commercialization of being single is stigmatized around holidays. One of the reasons I refer to Valentine’s Day as V.D. There used to be a DJ in KC that hosted a Valentines party every year. It was Afrentra's VD party. I used to laugh everytime I heard the commercials. I am sure with all the drinking, some was passed around. Edited February 13, 2021 by Alex Majors 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 13, 2021 A poignant post, Marilyn! Having been on both sides of the 'Valentine's Day 'Divide' (i.e., 'taken' and 'single') many times each through the years, I'm grateful to have more-or-less extricated myself altogether from the nauseating commercial orgy that our culture has made a day originally intended to celebrate true love. I'm with you. Celebrate love every day! Love for your self, love for your neighbor, love for your significant other. It doesn't have to cost anything. And it's something--perhaps the most important thing in life--that money cannot buy. 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 18, 2021 I believe that on some level, we can all relate to you and what you are saying for sure, @MarilynDesire. I have a special lady friend I have been helping get back up on her 👣 in life. She has been abused in so many ways... I made a point of getting her a Valentine's gift. Only because I can and just to see her gush over the something silly I got for her, you are right It's a stupid holiday but so well worth it if you can make a woman ( even if you are a woman) feel special. Men too I am sure as well as a child, grandparents Is it not wonderful to get that the warm special feeling that you are important and loved? You are also right it doesn't need to be a holiday either! Get a gift for you. I read your story when you posted it on Twitter. You are a beautiful woman (I have seen your pictures) and you have so much to share as well as a great writer! Hope to meet you some day.❤️ The planet in astrology is Venus. The color Is emerald green with the heart chakra. I will stop now. Just feeling touched by your writing. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 18, 2021 3 hours ago, Kali Sensual Reiki said: #Ifixditforyou 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 18, 2021 Yeah, i was depressed this V-day. I could have called one of the several men in my phone book to ensure i got flowers (thats all i really care about because i love flowers) but i didn't because i really dont genuinely like spending time with any of them lol. Never the less i was still sad there was no one man i really cared about and wanted to spend time with. So i just got drunk and then went to a bar got more drunk and lost my keys.... lol. Not to mention i think i got minor frost bite on my finger tips (they're all better now tho). Sobered up now i realize i can get flowers any day of the year and having chosen being an escort, i have probably received more gifts and gratitude than a many civie women have in a lifetime. So i should be grateful that i have been privileged to see the best side of men by choosing this profession. I think i was more sad i have been single for 6 years more than anything but it was magnified on V-day and the alcohol certainly did not help LMAO 4 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 18, 2021 9 hours ago, VIP Mya Michelle said: Yeah, i was depressed this V-day. I could have called one of the several men in my phone book to ensure i got flowers (thats all i really care about because i love flowers) but i didn't because i really dont genuinely like spending time with any of them lol. Never the less i was still sad there was no one man i really cared about and wanted to spend time with. So i just got drunk and then went to a bar got more drunk and lost my keys.... lol. Not to mention i think i got minor frost bite on my finger tips (they're all better now tho). Sobered up now i realize i can get flowers any day of the year and having chosen being an escort, i have probably received more gifts and gratitude than a many civie women have in a lifetime. So i should be grateful that i have been privileged to see the best side of men by choosing this profession. I think i was more sad i have been single for 6 years more than anything but it was magnified on V-day and the alcohol certainly did not help LMAO This post made me very sad! You are a beautiful, intelligent, young woman, who should have dozens of suitors (other than clients). The state of the romantic world, seems to be falling short, of what I'd prefer. I hope things improve. All the best to you! 4 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 19, 2021 Alcohol does not help a persons view of life. People turn to it to help ease the pain of some loss, event, or thought. It never helps. It only amplifies the persons feelings. I encourage people to call a friend or even a professional mental health organization to talk about what is bothering them. This country has affixed a stigma about mental health. But it certainly pushes alcohol. I know of what I write ... 6 years sober. 5 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 19, 2021 53 minutes ago, SixtiesDude said: I know of what I write ... 6 years sober. Good for you 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 5, 2021 On 2/19/2021 at 8:49 PM, ilovewomen said: Good for you why can you please explain 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 6, 2021 12 hours ago, EricLindsey said: why can you please explain Go back and look at the post that I replied to “good for you”. If you do that, then you know why I said it. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 9, 2021 On 2/19/2021 at 8:49 AM, ilovewomen said: Good for you Heart wrenching desire to look at life with both eyes open! I am so impressed with your honesty! Thank you! ❤️ 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
