Posted June 2, 2019 Can worker or provider Nicole Emma teach us something about human connection? In the video below, do we identify with worker or provider Nicole’s TEDx Talk presentation on client connection needs and how a provider can help address those needs? Or do we think Nicole’s observations and conclusions are really her conclusions? That is, are her comments on providers satisfying client connection needs real or are such experiences really entertainment or more complicated? As a preview of Nicole’s talk, what do we think about her following quotes? Quote “We all need just one person who sees us who we really are under everything else and loves us anyway. Oftentimes, men do not have this one person.” As a worker, Nicole Emma said, “I do whatever it takes to help people heal, whether that’s a pretty woman experience or naked therapy. My job includes consoling a man who misses his children on the other side of the country, to teaching someone about female anatomy, to reminding someone what it feels like to be touched who’s been deprived for so long, to helping someone who’s disabled feel normal just for a minute. Now don’t get me wrong, this job is not glamorous and is certainly not easy. There is always a guy who wants to call all the time…or somebody who want to do something really funky, but there is a greater good here. …” She went on to say, “We’re all people that need help. We pay for help all the time. We pay for tax attorneys, car repairs, child care, and housekeeping. … Just as much as we seek healing for our minds and our bodies, we ought to be free to seek healing for our hearts as well as our parts too. … It’s about intimacy and connection.” To see the video, view, select, or click on "What a sex worker can teach us about human connection" | Nicole Emma | TEDxSaltLakeCity (12:36). 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 2, 2019 Great thread from a beautiful lady! I will chime in with my personal thoughts later. 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 2, 2019 1 hour ago, 2Big said: Does she do anal? Crass 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 3, 2019 I believe what she said has been said on this board many times. The general public need to hear it. 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 3, 2019 I’m so glad she has the platform to speak up. Maybe they will listen. doubtful 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 3, 2019 sweetmoment, Thank you for sharing Nicole 's TED video. She is spot on, I agree with everything she says. 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 3, 2019 man THAT is good - thank you for sharing - love the points she makes about this hobby - spot on - and so nice to see her cultivating awareness that addresses the societal predisposition that judges/labels our encounters/dates as anything less than what they truly are/can be for so many people... only constant is change - hoping hoping hoping:) 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 3, 2019 This is a great post. The really great women here already know this whether it be consciously or unconsciously. It is to bad many of the providers just dont get it. 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 3, 2019 I totally agree with this post. I make 90 minutes to 2 hour appointments just for that reason. She is right sex takes about 5 minutes if you don't count foreplay. Teh comfort and relaxation provided is really what I pay for. There is a lady on here that only makes 90 minute appointments so she can provide just this. 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 4, 2019 (edited) On 6/2/2019 at 10:26 AM, sweetmoment said: It's a good a speech but she lost me with "sex is how men feel loved and worthy" I feel loved and worthy with understanding and forgiveness. I hug men all the time, I'm not fucking them. We drink together. We tell jokes. We hug. We cry. Sometimes, we get into fights. We always ask how we're doing each day. .. But sex is just ... sex sorry Edited June 4, 2019 by Vassago 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 4, 2019 On 6/2/2019 at 0:27 PM, 2Big said: Does she do anal? Is it fucked up I thought the same exact thing? Maybe not the same exact way, but .... does she? 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 4, 2019 12 minutes ago, Vassago said: It's a good a speech but she lost me with "sex is how men feel loved and worthy" I feel loved and worthy with understanding and forgiveness. I hug men all the time, I'm not fucking them. We drink together. We tell jokes. We hug. We cry. Sometimes, we get into fights. We always ask how we're doing each day. .. But sex is just ... sex sorry I see where you are going on that. I am in a group that talks, tell jokes , drink, fish, hunt and argue. We help each other and check up on each other. We know more about each other than the girls know about us. During a session, you spend a lot of time talking. You will never be on the same level. So yes, I go to the girls sex and the guys for bonding. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 4, 2019 (edited) 6 minutes ago, Alex Majors said: I see where you are going on that. I am in a group that talks, tell jokes , drink, fish, hunt and argue. We help each other and check up on each other. We know more about each other than the girls know about us. During a session, you spend a lot of time talking. You will never be on the same level. So yes, I go to the girls sex and the guys for bonding. Hate to say it but you ladies got your corner. We dudes have ours. War of the sexes with secrets, then we do 'battle' with each other, in the form of scissors position.. shit sorry, extrapolating. Afterward though is the best part, where we tell exaggerated tales about our adventures. Edited June 4, 2019 by Vassago 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 4, 2019 11 minutes ago, Vassago said: Hate to say it but you ladies got your corner. We dudes have ours. War of the sexes with secrets, then we do 'battle' with each other, in the form of scissors position.. shit sorry, extrapolating. Afterward though is the best part, where we tell exaggerated tales about our adventures. I pefer when people speak for themselves and not lump others in to bolster their own personal experiences and opinions. Some will chime in and agree, some will chime in and disagree, some won't chime in at all. I find myself in the men's corner sometimes, the women's other times depending on the topic. I also understand many times no one really cares about my personal preference 😋 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 4, 2019 26 minutes ago, Hunter VanDyke said: I pefer when people speak for themselves and not lump others in to bolster their own personal experiences and opinions. Some will chime in and agree, some will chime in and disagree, some won't chime in at all. I find myself in the men's corner sometimes, the women's other times depending on the topic. I also understand many times no one really cares about my personal preference 😋 knock it off already 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 4, 2019 Just now, Vassago said: knock it off already Knock what off??? 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 4, 2019 Just now, Hunter VanDyke said: Knock what off??? Ladies here have private back channels. I understand that, and I respect that. Men have theirs. I feel passive aggressiveness. I'd prefer it if you just told me to fuck off like pfunk does. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 4, 2019 Just now, Vassago said: Ladies here have private back channels. I understand that, and I respect that. Men have theirs. I feel passive aggressiveness. I'd prefer it if you just told me to fuck off like pfunk does. I don't need back channels to comment on the the topics being discussed? Not all men agree with you and not all women disagree. You posted it. 🤷♀️ 4 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 4, 2019 I'm done with this. have a goodnight. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 6, 2019 Is sexual surrogacy still a thing? I like the idea of a provider as a therapist in some ways, but the sessions that really stand out are the ones where it's a confessional. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 10, 2019 Thank you all for your interest, appreciation, and comments on my post about what worker Nicole Emma says about human connection during her TEDx Talk. I identify with much of what provider Nicole Emma said about men’s need for intimacy and connection. I am curious to know how a provider such as Nicole can help address these needs. Personally, I really identify with her comments describing how many men live in isolation who do not even have one person who sees us, individually, who we really are. That said, Nicole made four claims I wonder about and caused me to reflect on. The first is her claim “…sex is how men feel loved and worthy.” Does this suggest those of us men who are virgins feel unloved and unworthy? Or could a man’s feelings of being unloved and unworthy be results of some deeper fear of being exposed or found out as being an imposter and not really a man who can arrive through? Do a number of us men doubt we have any real strength to offer a woman or someone we care about and feel certain if we did offer what we have it would not be enough? Regarding a woman a man cares about, does she yearn to rest under the shadow of a man’s strength? Consequently, if a man does not really have any strength to offer a woman, does this suggest a woman cannot really rest with him or ‘under his shadow’? Do some of us men struggle with confidence around women and men we see as real men? Do we wrestle with false selves, uncertainty, and stuck feelings? Second, Nicole said, “Healthy manhood is about facing fears, overcoming challenges, and living with compassion.” While this is true, I wonder if it would be more meaningful to focus on desires and motivations men need in order for them to live healthy lives. Is it true in the heart of a man there is a desire for him to be a hero to someone he loves? In other words, is it true in order for a man to have something or an adventure to share he can invite the woman into, he needs to be fit for a woman? For the man to be fit, does he need life purpose and know his name? That is, does he need heart desires for a battle to fight, an adventure to live, and a beauty to rescue? Third, Nicole said she, as a provider, does “whatever it takes to help people heal, whether that’s a pretty woman experience or naked therapy.” She went on to say her job includes consolation, teaching, reminding what it feels like to be touched, helping disable clients feel normal. Is it true that while femininity can arouse masculinity, as we all know, that femininity cannot ever bestow masculinity? How can a woman help her man or client to play the man? Could the answer be by seducing him? That is, could she use all she has as a woman to arouse him to be a man and encourage him to use all has as a man? Can she arouse, inspire, energize…seduce him? Perhaps, this was what Nicole was alluding to or hinting at when said she does “whatever it takes to help people heal….” Lastly, Nicole said her clients “deserve to feel important and connected to.” Is “deserve” too strong a word? Should meaningful connections be experienced as gifts to appreciate and savor instead? After all, can these connections only be healthy if they are invitational, accepted, consensual, and beneficial? Thanks again for considering this forum post and thread. I appreciate your responses and reactions. 4 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 11, 2019 It feels we are defining the perfect provider as the one able to see you for who you truly are, able to create a connection in the short time you schedule with her. I cant get my head around those expectations. We are talking about a sex worker here. I expect a sex worker to be great at .... well, sex!! To be able to arouse you and get you to a point of sexual release. Thinking you can achieve any level of intimacy in a hhr / hr session is setting yourself up for failure 95% of the times. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 12, 2019 1 hour ago, Todoesprivado said: It feels we are defining the perfect provider as the one able to see you for who you truly are, able to create a connection in the short time you schedule with her. I cant get my head around those expectations. We are talking about a sex worker here. I expect a sex worker to be great at .... well, sex!! To be able to arouse you and get you to a point of sexual release. Thinking you can achieve any level of intimacy in a hhr / hr session is setting yourself up for failure 95% of the times. I disagree it AL depends on the provider, her attitude, her experience, her desire to please, and to a certain extent her age. I've experienced great connections. 5 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 12, 2019 2 hours ago, Todoesprivado said: It feels we are defining the perfect provider as the one able to see you for who you truly are, able to create a connection in the short time you schedule with her. I cant get my head around those expectations. We are talking about a sex worker here. I expect a sex worker to be great at .... well, sex!! To be able to arouse you and get you to a point of sexual release. Thinking you can achieve any level of intimacy in a hhr / hr session is setting yourself up for failure 95% of the times. We're actually talking about people, individuals, human beings here. I spent hours today with "a sex worker" whose best friend just died. I spent time with her, comforted her, took her shopping, let her talk, let her cry, made sure she ate something. I wish I could do more, she obviously isn't up for working for a while, yet bills still must be paid. I think it's perfectly OK if you're not up for that kind of connection. Your boundaries are your own. But connections can definitely happen. 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 12, 2019 3 hours ago, Todoesprivado said: ... Thinking you can achieve any level of intimacy in a hhr / hr session is setting yourself up for failure 95% of the times. For a 1st session, you’re probably correct. But even there if you are open to that level of interaction you never know what could happen. However for return visits all bets are off. Some YL are into ‘just sex’, but others respond with a deeper connection. Some YL become true friends. I had lunch today (just lunch) with a YL I’ve been seeing for years. We both had a wonderful time. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 12, 2019 1 hour ago, FuriousWeasel said: We're actually talking about people, individuals, human beings here. I spent hours today with "a sex worker" whose best friend just died. I spent time with her, comforted her, took her shopping, let her talk, let her cry, made sure she ate something. I wish I could do more, she obviously isn't up for working for a while, yet bills still must be paid. I think it's perfectly OK if you're not up for that kind of connection. Your boundaries are your own. But connections can definitely happen. You don’t need to remind me of the fact that we are talking about people.... I get that. If this person decided to share all of that, then... good for you. Obviously she trusts you and I’m glad you were able to respond and I really hope your actions made her feel better. Its none of my business but I bet this person sees you as a friend, and not just a client. And most likely that’s the result of more than one successful encounter. Again, going back to the original post and the video....the presenter seems to be able to establish a deep connection and achieve intimacy with her clients....I commend her for that, but that’s not the norm and shouldn’t ever be expected from a provider. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 12, 2019 28 minutes ago, Todoesprivado said: ... Again, going back to the original post and the video....the presenter seems to be able to establish a deep connection and achieve intimacy with her clients....I commend her for that, but that’s not the norm and shouldn’t ever be expected from a provider. One of the great things about TOB is that we get to develop the beginning of friendships here on the forums. This improves our odds of establishing a connection during our first session. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
