Posted January 4, 2015 (edited) So I have been thinking about this for awhile. But thought that I should just post this question and thought here to see what comes back. Guys, give me your thoughts, ideas, or concerns. Ladies do the same, but Lao let me know how you would respond, if it would raise eyebrows and any other thoughts. In my personal and professional life I have decorum to uphold. One of my biggest fears is for someone I meet here for me to run into them in my professional life. Obviously the easy answer is to just do the professional life, but then what is the fun in that. The only real way for the two worlds go collide would be if a provider is married, in a long term committed relationship. In an attempt to avoid this is to simply ask. Now there is always the chance that someone would not give a truthful answer, but that is part of my question is to ask if providers would likely give a genuine response. None of this question is due to any ulterior motives as in I am not the next person in the line of people thinking they are going to find love here. Nor am I asking because I don't want to see someone in those circumstances, it would just be a wise thing for me to avoid. So that's the question and I truly do want general feelings, follow up questions, concerns, thoughts and ideas. Thanks again in advance I am looking forward to the responses. Edited January 5, 2015 by Kaduk OP REQUEST 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 4, 2015 (edited) So I have been thinking about this for awhile. But thought that I should just post this question and thought here to see what comes back. Guys, give me your thoughts, ideas, or concerns. Ladies do the same, but Lao let me know how you would respond, if it would raise eyebrows and any other thoughts. In my personal and professional life I have decorum to uphold. One of my biggest fears is for someone I meet here for me to run into them in my professional life. Obviously the easy answer is to just do the professional life, but then what is the fun in that. The only real way for the two worlds go collide would be if a provider is married, in a long term committed relationship. In an attempt to avoid this is to simply ask. Now there is always the chance that someone would not give a truthful answer, but that is part of my question is to ask if providers would likely give a genuine response. None of this question is due to any ulterior motives as in I am not the next person in the line of people thinking they are going to find love here. Nor am I asking because I don't want to see someone in those circumstances, it would just be a wise thing for me to avoid. So that's the question and I truly do want general feelings, follow up questions, concerns, thoughts and ideas. Thanks again in advance I am looking forward to the responses. I still don't know know what you're asking US, let alone what you want to ask of anyone else. Edited January 5, 2015 by Kaduk Fixed quote. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 4, 2015 (edited) Simply, asking a provider if they are married, in a long term committed relationship. Is that a good or bad idea? What is liklihood of getting an honest answer. How would that question be relieved in general? Ways to ask that may be better than others. Edited January 5, 2015 by Kaduk OP request 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 5, 2015 Simply, asking a provider if they are married, in a long term committed relationship. Is that a good or bad idea? What is liklihood of getting an honest answer. How would that question be relieved in general? Ways to ask that may be better than others. What the fuck does it matter if she's married? Why do you care? And what do you mean by the "question being relieved?" I don't get that at all. I'm very curious about what you're trying to accomplish by asking personal questions. The provider's personal life is none of your business. Since you mentioned concern about YOUR personal life, I have to wonder if you're trying to protect yourself by getting info about the provider - mutually assured destruction? 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 5, 2015 Simply, asking a provider if they are married, in a long term committed relationship. Is that a good or bad idea? What is liklihood of getting an honest answer. How would that question be relieved in general? Ways to ask that may be better than others. It's JMO but I think these types of questions are none of our business. I wouldn't want a provider asking me these questions so I wouldn't ask them of her. giving personal information is never good for either side of the fence. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 5, 2015 Simply, asking a provider if they are married, in a long term committed relationship. Is that a good or bad idea? What is liklihood of getting an honest answer. How would that question be relieved in general? Ways to ask that may be better than others. You asserted that you would be more likely to have an outside interaction with a married provider. I do not understand your reasoning. Most providers are likely suspicious about personal questions. Unless you know a provider well, I would not ask personal questions especially questions about their love life. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 5, 2015 If I understand the question correctly you are concerned that a provider you see may be the spouse/sister/other relative of someone you know or work with in your 'real' life and that encountering them there could be awkward. Reasonable concern, but probably over-thinking and over-worrying. Big city. If it happened she is unlikely to say anything .... just smile and say pleased to meet you and keep the knowledge to yourself. As far as the other part of question, sometimes after you become a regular that type of topic may be raised if there is a connection of sorts (gasp, I know some are scrambling to say no never!!) but I would strongly recommend against asking for the reasons you list cause you are over-worrying, it really isn't any of your business, and you will freak out a lot of ladies. Lastly, don't let the resident grouch make you feel bad .... especially over an imprecisely asked question or a spelling error, etc. Jeesh. Asking questions and getting answers is the best part of this little dysfunctional world. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 5, 2015 This is why I asked that question to see how it would potentially be received. And received was autocorrected to relieved so great call on the spelling error. I think you are probably right that a connection has to be built before much openness can occur. Obviously, the hope is too "screen" out the issues if possible. Let me give an example to make it easier to understand. I have asked a few ladies of their opinions. One who I know well and one who I don't know well and got two different answers. Here goes the example. Let's say I am a marriage counselor. A couple makes an appointment to come in, they arrive on time, are greeted by the receptionist, made comfortable in the counseling room and then I were to walk in to do a counseling session and see them there. I can only imagine a situation like this being uncomfortable for both the client and the provider, not to mention one hell of a surprise. So I thought it would be a great idea to find a way to ask, not to pry or for ulterior motives, but just to help avoid such a situation. Hence why I am trying to figure out what the general consensus is on whether asking is a good idea or not. I'm starting to gather that it is not or at least it might not be a question that some would like being asked. Maybe I am just being a worry wort too. I don't know if the above example would bring about different opinions, but I would like to hear opinions, grouchy or otherwise. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 5, 2015 86Chevy are you on the correct website? 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 5, 2015 86Chevy are you on the correct website? This is better than my magic 8 ball. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 5, 2015 Here goes the example. Let's say I am a marriage counselor. A couple makes an appointment to come in, they arrive on time, are greeted by the receptionist, made comfortable in the counseling room and then I were to walk in to do a counseling. You worry way to much friend. I've been in similar situations all the time. You always need a go to escape plan. In that situation I would fake violent diarrhea. Just be like I'm sorry your going to have find a new consulare because I can't stop shitting. Anyways who cares if they don't like your question. No worries man just do what feels right. If this makes you feel like nosy SOB then stop being doing it. ingnoramus is bliss. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 5, 2015 Simply, asking a provider if they are married, in a long term committed relationship. Is that a good or bad idea? What is liklihood of getting an honest answer. How would that question be relieved in general? Ways to ask that may be better than others. This is very bad idea, great way to get blacklisted real quick. Assuming a provider enjoys her privacy, will not answer you. Do you want providers getting into your personal business? Obviously not. Suggestion, your an awesome candidate for seeking out providers who only tour. They don't live here in Colorado. How about you see just those girls. EB has tons of touring girls coming and going. Do your research, I am sure you will find great companionship for the hour without worrying about drama. If your worried about your personal life affected get a p411 and see only touring escorts. What the fuck does it matter if she's married? Why do you care? And what do you mean by the "question being relieved?" I don't get that at all. I'm very curious about what you're trying to accomplish by asking personal questions. The provider's personal life is none of your business. Since you mentioned concern about YOUR personal life, I have to wonder if you're trying to protect yourself by getting info about the provider - mutually assured destruction? ^^^^^^ What Av8r said ^^^^^^ I agree with this. I will add this sounds like blackmail to me should something go wrong, you have a one up., While I am at times very relaxed about who I meet, and don't have anything to lose. Other providers do. Providers are not being paid to discuss who's married lol. Please respect all escorts privacy, by not asking personal questions. In all reality, its none of your business. Same rule applies to the escort. None her business either. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 5, 2015 This is just too weird for a Monday morning. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 6, 2015 To the OP our personal life is just that. Of all the ladies I know in relationships their SO knows what they do. Do not get me wrong there are the ones who lie about the extent of services they provide however they are few in numbers. I do find it enjoyable that every threat the opportunity presents it's self the "do not give your personal information to a provider" is mentioned (haha). Most touring ladies screen harder then local ladies do because we are away from home. A P411 account is not a save all from screening as mentioned in this thread. P411 is merely a tool used in the screening process. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 7, 2015 Just put on your profile in P411 that you are a marriage counselor and prefer not to see potential marriage counseling clients for professional and ethical reasons. Then stick to P411 escorts. See, that wasn't so hard. 😁 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 8, 2015 I think Nikki has your solution -- go with touring providers. The odds of you running into a provider in an awkward situation are incredibly low. My goodness, why would you even worry about such a thing? Hell, they probably won't even remember your face. As for whether they are married, I just don't understand your thinking on this. There is a mystique in the idea of two anonymous people who carry none of each other's baggage just meeting to fuck. It has its limitations, but too much information can be a bad thing. Stop worrying and start fucking. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 8, 2015 I'm a provider who doesn't mind clients asking me personal questions, and who is very open about being in several polyamorous relationships on my website and blog. The thing about personal questions, though; don't feel like you're entitled to an answer. Always try to open up the conversation with something like "you don't have to tell me, or you can lie to me, or whatever." It's never cool to expect that a provider should tell you a single thing about her personal life- if she does tell you, it's a gift of trust. So don't push it too far, don't use it against her, and for the love of God never ask a provider what her real name is. Now, as someone who is married and who does a little of my own screening, a married provider such as myself would require a level of openness from you that would include disclosing your work. So if you are, for example, a marriage counselor, I would choose not to see you because I would both know your real name and probably the fact that you are a marriage counselor. Maybe instead of screening your potential providers, you should just allow them to screen you? 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 8, 2015 ...<re-ordered>...for the love of God never ask a provider what her real name is. ... There are situations (travel?) where this information is required. Not exactly something one asks on a first date. ... if she does tell you, it's a gift of trust. So don't push it too far, don't use it against her, ... Most definitely!!! 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 9, 2015 To the OP our personal life is just that. Of all the ladies I know in relationships their SO knows what they do. Do not get me wrong there are the ones who lie about the extent of services they provide however they are few in numbers. I do find it enjoyable that every threat the opportunity presents it's self the "do not give your personal information to a provider" is mentioned (haha). Most touring ladies screen harder then local ladies do because we are away from home. A P411 account is not a save all from screening as mentioned in this thread. P411 is merely a tool used in the screening process. As Iv said many times, asking personal questions can lead to serious problem. Gentlemen, NEVER give out your personal information. And don't ask personal questions. If you have a p411 account and that is not good enough for her, move on to the next girl in line. NEXT! 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 9, 2015 There are situations (travel?) where this information is required. Not exactly something one asks on a first date. Most definitely!!! And vice (pun intended)versa. Any personal information that IS exchanged between a provider and her clientele depends totally on the dynamics of the relationship between the two people involved. As Bit said, travel is a area where personal information is required. Try booking a airline ticket for your ATF without her real name and birth date. So, despite what the peanut gallery says about hookers and their (guys)very own personal info, I think the issue of trust is more one-sided. Lets put it simple. If I think a client has some anti-social tendencies with my personal information, then you can take it to the bank that I will not fly anywhere with him. . 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 9, 2015 You're way, way over-thinking this. Way. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 9, 2015 personal information is for dating... benjamins are for hobbying... benjamins + personal information are for marriage... keep it safe and keep personal info to yourself - earn some benjamins and then just have fun... 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 9, 2015 I know some providers might disagree with me, but I'm not willing to see a client unless they're willing to share personal information with me. And yes, this is a double standard that I am comfortable with. The power dynamics inherent in this work dictate that I need to do this for my personal safety. I'm not here to argue that the exchange of personal information should always be this one-sided. Just saying that's how I do it, and I get along fine doing it that way. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 10, 2015 personal information is for dating... benjamins are for hobbying... benjamins + personal information are for marriage... keep it safe and keep personal info to yourself - earn some benjamins and then just have fun... ^^^^ what he said ^^^^I agree, don't set yourself up. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 10, 2015 no you don't ask her. if she feels comfortable enough with you after somewhat 'regular' visits then she can make her own choice to be forthcoming (so to speak) 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 10, 2015 smart providers are going to know who is walking thru their door...and make sure their lives do not intersect professionally or personally with that client...both prior to seeing them and after seeing them... you should not be placed in a position to ask...and any questions about a providers personal life is likely to scare her..and end up in a failed appt booking attempt (they deal with too many stalker/fan/creepy types already..so asking the smaem questions as those types is a no go..no matter what your intention) so what you are referring to is an NON-Issue if they are screening you fully. (doesn't work if you play the crappy anonymous game however..THAT's when the problems tend to happen..for both parties...and why the streets had a big appeal to many in the past..prior to that being brought to the internet escorting side. if you take risks..you take risks. think about it. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 10, 2015 I think you should ask them whatever the hell you want to. This is a free country. It's up to her to figure how to respond. One time I asked a provider for her real name and it worked out fine. As a matter fact she told me a great story about it. At the time it made me happy and she was happy too. I think later she regretted it but I would never take it back. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 11, 2015 Nice to see some well thought out responses to a strange question. Beats the hell out of the snap-back bs you get from some earlier posts. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 23, 2015 I don't care if my clients are married, single, dating, etc. and I expect the same of them. This is not catholic school here. If you are afraid of running into a provider in a social function... then maybe this isn't for you. However, any provider worth her profession who is out and about, attending to her life knows how to adlib. I would suggest you do the same. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
