The Annual TOB Poetry Contest

[meganrae28]

It's time for the annual TOB poetry contest. Here is my submission:

Roses are red,

violets are purple,

for an extra 50 bucks

your cum I shall gurgle

[fork]

It's time for the annual TOB poetry contest. Here is my submission:

Roses are red,

violets are purple,

for an extra 50 bucks

your cum I shall gurgle

That sounds swell

but I don't like an upsell.

[meganrae28]

Ohhh! Good one!

[Guest]

There once was a boy named Rick.

Rick was a boy with a corkscrew dick.

He spent all his time in a lifelong hunt.

A hunt for a girl with a corkscrew c**t.

The day that he found her...He dropped dead.

"Cause the G*dammed thing was a left hand thread.

[pfunk]

Violets are blue

Roses are red

Please make me a sammich

and give me some head

[Guest]

Roses are red

Lemons are sour

open your legs

and give me an hour

Roses are red

pickles are green

I love your legs

and what's in between

[harpo]

You said you will

my pussy to fill

nothing happened , nill

Viagra , you buy ,they sell

Seeking fuck but not out of the mill

[Guest Mr.Bubble]

How about some Haiku?

Boner needs release.

Can you help me with my pants?

Three hundred bucks, please.

Giving Friday's girl,

Season of love lasts all week.

Slut? No, just friendly.

[BigBaldBlk]

Roses are read,

Violets are fine,

I'll be the 6,

If you'll be the 9

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Sex is when a guys communication

enters a girls information

to increase the population

for a younger generation

do you get the information...

or do you need a demonstration

[2Big]

I met a hooker named Megan Rae

For fiddy bucks I bought her off of Ebay.

She was bouncing up and down on my pole,

then, damn, she threw me on my back and started licking out my azzhole !

I said: Bitch, keep suckin' and prepare yourself for your first buttfuckin'

Put on some Astroglide and started stabbin',

like Mike Tyson, I was jabbin'

Then straight to her mouth she started hummin'

I told her: keep that up and I'm gonna keep cummin'

After that I went for a shower and straight to the tub,

That's why they call me the Gangsta of Love.

(Adapted from Geto Boys, Gangsta of Love)

[Home run hitter]

Once upon a midnight dreary,

While I pondered, weak and weary,

Shall I call her? Shall I text?

You all know what happens next.

I tap the door, she let's me in,

Her ass is wide, her waist is thin.

Upon the table, donation placed,

We get undressed, no time to waste.

UTF, K9 and mish

D A T Y, she is delish

Our time is up, and I must go

She walks me out and locks the do'

Some might say that she's a 'ho

I say thank you, for the O...

[geecue2]

There once was a hooker on tob

Who everyone asked if it was free

She always had the same reply

You stupid ass silly guy

[mikey_likey]

[meganrae28]

It's true. I auction my virginity every month on ebay and 2 big was the 12th winner.

But I'm a sucker for the well read so my vote for number one has to go to home run!

[coolhand luke]

Roses are best

forget the rest

Let's Fuck

Roses are White

Violets make me sneeze

If You want 2nd's

Don't have to say Please

Rock me gently like the wind and rain

rock me like a south bound train......

The hell with rocking

Lets Screw!

[Paul Pudenda]

I'm afraid I can't claim this as mine. It is from a Fugs album circa 1969 - "The National Teenage Haiku Contest":

Do not tell me

I'm source of your knock up.

The mud elephant

Wading through the sea

Leaves no tracks.

[ItatIsawAPuddyTat]

It's time for the annual TOB poetry contest. Here is my submission:

Roses are red,

violets are purple,

for an extra 50 bucks

your cum I shall gurgle

Her Nipples are Divine,

"Oh, Please", I whine??

Her Asshole is tight,

Oh GOD, "Tonight??"

She tempts me , ahh hell,

Oh please? Oh well;(

Her butt-hole I keep,

We collapse in a heap.

Oh damn, life is deep.

[imwhoim]

A few more by famous poets of old.

http://www.blackcatpoems.com/p/prostitute_poems.html

[urfan]

Here's my submission - it's a little trifle I wrote a few years ago during the XXX-mas season.

T'was the night before XXX-Mas throughout TOB,

Not a client was lurking, not even Zippy.

The providers were nestled in snug in-call beds,

While visions of Clooney fucked with their heads.

I and my Jergens with tissues at hand,

had just settled in to get busy again.

When out in the chat room there arose such a noise,

I just had to sign in and say 'sup to the boys.

Away to the 'puter I ran in a dash,

To click on the icon and load in a flash.

Full moons and big breasts on the video show,

Had the lustre of mid-day and my penis did grow.

When what to my aching blue balls did I see,

But a skype-like chat room filled with eight ASPs.

With an ass-kickin hostess so lively and quick,

I knew in an instant they'd all want my dick.

More rapid than pre-cum the lovelies all came,

And I panted and shouted and called them by name.

Now Dana, now Nikki, now Heidi and Rachel,

On Candy, on Izzy, on Cristal and April.

To the top of the bed, to the top of the wall,

Now cowgirl! now cowgirl! now cowgirl them all!

As dry humps before the wild foreplay would fly,

When they meet with flaccidity, they'd mount up and ride.

Then in a twinkling I saw on my screen,

All the agency girls from the profiles I'd seen.

They were dressed all in fur, from their heads to their toes,

And their clothes were so sexy with garters and hose.

Their eyes how they twinkled, their butt dimples so merry,

Those cheeks were like roses, I longed for their cherry.

Their pert little lips were so red and inviting,

I adjusted my screen to improve on the lighting.

They all had great figures and a flat little belly,

I fumbled and searched for the ol' K-Y Jelly.

A wink of their eyes and their hips in full grind,

Soon gave me to know they had something in mind.

They didn't waste time but went straight to their job,

Took down their stockings and fondled my knob.

They flipped me and dipped me, I came hard you see,

Tonight was my first time at MSOG.

When they saw I was done for and pretty well spent,

They packed up their toys and away they all went.

I heard them exclaim as the screen went to fade,

Happy endings, urfan, you've been virtually laid.

(With apologies to Clement Clarke Moore)

[pitbull]

If we're going for rip-offs...

You can call me desperate

You can call me perverted

But you'll say I'm a dog

When I leave you lost and deserted

I'll play with your heart

And I will show no shame

I'll be blowing your mind

While you're blowing my brain

I'm like a freak in heat

A dog without warning

My appetite is sex

Cuz me so horny

Too Live Crew -- We played that one in high school back in the 80s and most of us thought rap was a novelty that would surely go away. I guess we were wrong.

[Audrey Astor]

Masturbate if you can't wait!

[DaysGoBy2]

[WheelMan]

She offered her honor,

He honored her offer,

And all night long,

He was on her and off her.

< apologies to the 99.43% of readers who've already heard it >

And another ancient one, honoring an East Bay (Calif) town:

There once was a lass from Milpitas,

Whose favorite sport was coitus,

'Til a fullback from State,

Made her period late,

And now she has Athlete's Foetus.