meganrae28

Long time no see! I don't even recognize this place now. Hello TOB folks! I missed this place.

Well it has to be Greek, Latin is dead ya know.

I'm working my lame job today so I won't have any male callers. I am mildly panicked, that I woke up to some unidentifiable bug in the corner of my large bedroom. I need it dead. Like, I don't even want to get close enough to determine its phylum. Looks like some kind of Preying Mantis, yeah and I spelled that wrong because it looks like freaking killer! And it has a big ass. OMG! What if it is about to have babies. If you were here. Would you kill for me? What kind of bugs and pests would you not kill? Where do you draw the line with your BFE services? I just lost a BFE so clearly I need some education here. Is expecting him to kill a fly or a centipede ok? Bat too much? Yeah I know I'm making my bedroom sound like it could be on an episode of Hoarders but I assure bugs are rare. Rare but so fucking gross. I'm going into another room now.

I have thought about this often! And I think I know exactly how it would feel because I have been cursed with a huge man ego... so I cry a lot when people think I suck.

Give me about six more months and I will be rejoining the itty bitty titty committee, happily.

I charge $600 to meet guys under a bridge on I25. They show up all day long! Wifi is free. I love pigeons!

If it's brown you know it's chocolate! And I have a better excuse for putting a bag over your head.

I know Stephen Hawking's fucking cross streets. Boom!

I love tickle parties. Uh tee hee hee! Snort, snort. Tee hee hee! Sorry, sometimes I snort when I laugh.

Since I'm known as the go-to girl for adult services advice I thought I would just consolidate my tips in one thread. New girls, here ya go: 1. Men hate condoms so you'll be more popular if you don't make clients wear them. 2. Being an ASP isn't like a "real" job" -- you can be late and clients won't care that much. 3. Guys love surprises so mix up your services! That way you keep 'em guessing, "is she gonna get all greek with me like in the review or is she going to give me a covered hand job?" Who knows? See, exciting! 4. Price out your menu a la cart and put that on top of a base price. During the session, when he tries to lick your butt, say "no no no, $40!" 5. Speaking of rules it's best to take the first ten minutes of a session and go over your rules then have a brief quiz before beginning. 6. Don't text unless you're doing doggie! That way you aren't holding your phone in front of his face, rude! Same goes for watching TV.

I've heard dirty talk that has had me stifling laughter. Before I do laugh, I always remember that in the Eastwood movie (Tombstone?) the John sliced the hooker's face for laughing at his lil beanie weenie. I try to just hurt people's feelings on accident, not on purpose, I know, I'm a sweetheart. When I was in my twenties, going through a one-night-stand phase, I went home with a guido I met in a bar, he was all pinkie rings and hair gel. One thing lead to another and the next thing I know my legs are in the air and guido is slapping my ass yelling, "who's your daddy?" I don't say anything. Isn't that rhetorical? No, he wanted an answer. "WHO-IS-YOUR-DADDY?" The problem was I couldn't remember his name for shit. I yelled "you are!" Second funniest one I've got is a client who used to yell "opps! sorry!" every time he came. It's not like it landed on me so I'm not sure what he was sorry about. What's the funniest/hottest/dumbest thing you've heard?

That's not a pun anyway.

I'm so horny I could fuck __________________. a wobbly armed lunch lady holding a burnt out vibrator.

Oops! This post was sarcasm inspired by the chick's post about going from FBSM to FS.

OMG, Bit, no no no. I'm not getting married. I'm still at the tender age of 30 - something and I'm terrible at nagging. Unless Holly is interested...