meganrae28

Long time no see! I don't even recognize this place now. Hello TOB folks! I missed this place.

I'm working my lame job today so I won't have any male callers. I am mildly panicked, that I woke up to some unidentifiable bug in the corner of my large bedroom. I need it dead. Like, I don't even want to get close enough to determine its phylum. Looks like some kind of Preying Mantis, yeah and I spelled that wrong because it looks like freaking killer! And it has a big ass. OMG! What if it is about to have babies. If you were here. Would you kill for me? What kind of bugs and pests would you not kill? Where do you draw the line with your BFE services? I just lost a BFE so clearly I need some education here. Is expecting him to kill a fly or a centipede ok? Bat too much? Yeah I know I'm making my bedroom sound like it could be on an episode of Hoarders but I assure bugs are rare. Rare but so fucking gross. I'm going into another room now.

Well it has to be Greek, Latin is dead ya know.

I have thought about this often! And I think I know exactly how it would feel because I have been cursed with a huge man ego... so I cry a lot when people think I suck.

Give me about six more months and I will be rejoining the itty bitty titty committee, happily.

I've heard dirty talk that has had me stifling laughter. Before I do laugh, I always remember that in the Eastwood movie (Tombstone?) the John sliced the hooker's face for laughing at his lil beanie weenie. I try to just hurt people's feelings on accident, not on purpose, I know, I'm a sweetheart. When I was in my twenties, going through a one-night-stand phase, I went home with a guido I met in a bar, he was all pinkie rings and hair gel. One thing lead to another and the next thing I know my legs are in the air and guido is slapping my ass yelling, "who's your daddy?" I don't say anything. Isn't that rhetorical? No, he wanted an answer. "WHO-IS-YOUR-DADDY?" The problem was I couldn't remember his name for shit. I yelled "you are!" Second funniest one I've got is a client who used to yell "opps! sorry!" every time he came. It's not like it landed on me so I'm not sure what he was sorry about. What's the funniest/hottest/dumbest thing you've heard?

Since I'm known as the go-to girl for adult services advice I thought I would just consolidate my tips in one thread. New girls, here ya go: 1. Men hate condoms so you'll be more popular if you don't make clients wear them. 2. Being an ASP isn't like a "real" job" -- you can be late and clients won't care that much. 3. Guys love surprises so mix up your services! That way you keep 'em guessing, "is she gonna get all greek with me like in the review or is she going to give me a covered hand job?" Who knows? See, exciting! 4. Price out your menu a la cart and put that on top of a base price. During the session, when he tries to lick your butt, say "no no no, $40!" 5. Speaking of rules it's best to take the first ten minutes of a session and go over your rules then have a brief quiz before beginning. 6. Don't text unless you're doing doggie! That way you aren't holding your phone in front of his face, rude! Same goes for watching TV.

I charge $600 to meet guys under a bridge on I25. They show up all day long! Wifi is free. I love pigeons!

If it's brown you know it's chocolate! And I have a better excuse for putting a bag over your head.

I know Stephen Hawking's fucking cross streets. Boom!

I love tickle parties. Uh tee hee hee! Snort, snort. Tee hee hee! Sorry, sometimes I snort when I laugh.

I'm so horny I could fuck __________________. a wobbly armed lunch lady holding a burnt out vibrator.

That's not a pun anyway.

Menfolk: If you're getting a BJ or HJ what do you like to be done to you while you are actually coming? Keep it the same? Lay off the head? Etc. ? Womenfolk: Same question for oral/finger stimulation.

I like to go by occupation. I've done a bull rider, a cop, a firefighter, an hvac guy and a fighter pilot. Still looking for that astronaut. I will be your starship slut! Oh, and a vacuum cleaner salesman and a pianist are also on my list. We all know what a bucket list is... so who is on your fuckit list?

Well folks, I've gone from GFE to FBSM and now to WE -- Wife Experience. What services should I offer? Wish me luck on my journey!

Do men ever really hire strippers privately to do just stripping and lap dancing? I have a friend who wants to do this, but I have no idea if this market even exists. Of course I know there are bachelor parties and such. But are guys even into this sort of thing one-on-one, without the sex?

Best email I've gotten all week: Hey Megan. Was wondering If you ever do free rubs? I'm a cute guy and could really use one but kinda broke right now. Thanks John Should I ask him what kind of skateboards he has to trade? Or just ask for pics?

Oops! This post was sarcasm inspired by the chick's post about going from FBSM to FS.

OMG, Bit, no no no. I'm not getting married. I'm still at the tender age of 30 - something and I'm terrible at nagging. Unless Holly is interested...

Scuse me? What is wrong with backpage??? I post their. <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<And I am KLASSY, DISCREAT, DRUGS AND DISEASEs FREE 4u XXXXX000000 100PERCENT 26 HOURS A DAY 8 DAYS A WEEK LOOKIN FUR GENTLEMEN GENEROIUS CLASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *************************************************************** Well anyway, that is what a BP ad looks like to me.

Honestly, I don't get a lot of dumb questions anymore. When I first started I did. I've honed my process and landed plenty of regulars. So I don't deal with new people every day I work. But as I recall the dumbest question I got was "what is your rate?" When it was always in the ad. And the surest way for me never to see a guy is for him to email me "What's up, baby?"

This is interesting info. I think what got me more curious was having a guy or two that seemed to prefer stopping any friction while it's spouting out. Though it seems to me most guys do like the same or faster motion that got them there. I do usually lay off when the aftershocks come so maybe I won't now. Seems like the best thing to do is to keep going and he can just indicate stopping. Someone PM'd me and said no ladies are answering the question so I will start: If I am coming from oral then there is already a finger in me. I'm only a g-spot comer, thus far. What gets me to cum is having the finger in about two inches and crooking it up -- like making a "come here" gesture. Once I actually start to come I do like a very different motion, all out finger pounding. Also, having one hand, his not mine, on my lower abdomen and pushing down seems to heighten the experience. For me, and maybe other women are like this too, there are varying degrees of orgasm. And what varies it is what happens while I'm coming. It's tricky, not gonna lie. If he does the finger pounding thing too early it really messes me up. Basically once he feels my pussy contracting he should finger bang. Long story short.

Yeah but which way? Make sheep noises and bang it like a ketchup bottle? Or open my umbrella and put on my parka? I need to refine. Need more specifics.

The only dues you have to pay are to the providers: their rate. There are plenty of girls who will verify you other ways.