Tragedy in Our Community

[Hunter VanDyke]

With a very heavy heart I want to let everyone know there are two beautiful caring providers in our community who are dealing with a devastating and unexpected loss in their family.  @TattooedBombShell lost her son.  Her sister @Marilyn Desire lost would be her nephew.  These ladies need our support right right now in a very real way. It's never easy to ask for help, but when one of our own does, I hope we can rally behind them.  There are so many ways we can help.  Normally several of us would be preparing meals to deliver, but they are our of state right now. We can send meal delivery gift cards which Marilyn can accept through email. She also has a cashapp and Venmo for any donations. There is a gofundme set up to help with funeral arrangements as well.  I won't post her information here because I'm not sure of the rules, but if you would like to help these ladies out in there time of grief, please, please pm me, and I will send you all the information I have. Also, feel free to send these ladies  a message of hope and support. They may not be able to respond, but it would mean the world to them in this very difficult time. Keep your loved ones close and remember to show them how much they are loved.  

[Caressa Duval]

Over the years, I have seen the men and women in this community come to the rescue of one of their own during hard times more than once.  Some of the best people I have ever met in my life are right here.  People with huge hearts of gold that will go the distance in times of need, offering moral support, financial support, a shoulder to cry on, a big hug when needed. The list goes on and on.

My heart bleeds for @TattooedBombShell and @Marilyn Desire right now. This is something no parent should ever have to experience. Living a life without your child, the true definition of hell!

This Mom needs time to grieve and has a long painful journey ahead of her.  If we can help relieve the stress of paying the bills,  caring for herself, all while having to bury her child We should!  These ladies are about to face their first Thanksgiving and Christmas without their son and nephew. That pain alone will be a full time job with no relief.

Sending warm felt email and notes will definitely help to read during the dark times.  Please yes donate to the Gofund me!!!! During the check out, you have the option to mark you donation "anonymous". You can email me or message me for the information too.

He is such a beautiful boy, and always will be. Hugs Momma!

 

Edited November 9, 2021 by Caressa Duval

[Hunter VanDyke]

Thank you for your words and your help Miss Caressa. 💙

[Marilyn Desire]

Thank you both so much for your help. This has been extremely difficult and one of the hardest losses I have ever had to face. The pain is unimaginable for me and absolutely unbearable for my twin sister. We are both still in shock. His services are being held on Thursday with the viewing today and tomorrow, so the next few days will be the hardest days of our life. Thank you everyone for your continued thoughts, prayers and support ❤

[Mustang87]

Marilyn, I can't tell you how devastated I am by this terrible news. You and your sister are wonderful people and I hate that you have to go through this. I know too well how unspeakable the loss and pain truly are. Please know that there are people in this community that understand and care. When the time is right, please reach out. Love and prayers.

[gr8owl]

1 hour ago, Marilyn Desire said:

Thank you both so much for your help. This has been extremely difficult and one of the hardest losses I have ever had to face. The pain is unimaginable for me and absolutely unbearable for my twin sister. We are both still in shock. His services are being held on Thursday with the viewing today and tomorrow, so the next few days will be the hardest days of our life. Thank you everyone for your continued thoughts, prayers and support ❤

My sincere sympathy to both you and your sister.  No parent should have to endure the loss of a child (nor an aunt the loss of a nephew or niece).  It has been three months since a gaping hole was torn into my heart by death of my son. No pain compares. Thoughts, hugs and prayers to you both.

[Caressa Duval]

2 hours ago, Marilyn Desire said:

Thank you both so much for your help. This has been extremely difficult and one of the hardest losses I have ever had to face. The pain is unimaginable for me and absolutely unbearable for my twin sister. We are both still in shock. His services are being held on Thursday with the viewing today and tomorrow, so the next few days will be the hardest days of our life. Thank you everyone for your continued thoughts, prayers and support ❤

 

14 minutes ago, gr8owl said:

My sincere sympathy to both you and your sister.  No parent should have to endure the loss of a child (nor an aunt the loss of a nephew or niece).  It has been three months since a gaping hole was torn into my heart by death of my son. No pain compares. Thoughts, hugs and prayers to you both.

 

20 minutes ago, Mustang87 said:

Marilyn, I can't tell you how devastated I am by this terrible news. You and your sister are wonderful people and I hate that you have to go through this. I know too well how unspeakable the loss and pain truly are. Please know that there are people in this community that understand and care. When the time is right, please reach out. Love and prayers.

We are in the worst club ever, a club no one should ever have to join! 5 years in and it is not any easier.  @gr8owl a real life hug to you is way over due!! @Marilyn Desire these men are the best!

Edited November 9, 2021 by Caressa Duval

[jalanp]

Very sad indeed. While I have never had to face such a loss in my own life, I can only imagine how difficult it must be. My heart goes out to both of you, and others who have experienced similar losses. May the memories of your lost children be a blessing your lives.

[gr8owl]

1 hour ago, Mustang87 said:

I didn't know about this and am so sorry. The 2nd anniversary of the loss of my son is next week. Tears are streaming just reading this thread. We need to do a better job reaching out and taking care of each other.

So sorry, Mustang.  Just brings it all right back like it just happened, I know.  I tend to be very private and very very few in this community knew.  Agreed, we tend to do a horrible job of caring for each other.  Best wishes and thoughts to you.

[average1]

So sorry to hear about this.  Sending thoughts and intentions while grieving.  Take good care of yourselves and reach out to folks who care about you.  Losses are always difficult and it's important to let folks support you during this incredibly difficult time.

[gr8owl]

1 hour ago, average1 said:

So sorry to hear about this.  Sending thoughts and intentions while grieving.  Take good care of yourselves and reach out to folks who care about you.  Losses are always difficult and it's important to let folks support you during this incredibly difficult time.

So true.  Most (who me?) will try to say "I am fine" even when it is totally not true.  No shame in accepting a sympathetic ear or shoulder.

[oldertruckguy-9225]

I pray for strength for each lady every morning. Strength to get through this, strength to deal with the unfathomable sense of loss. Strength to do the simple every day tasks that have no purpose now. Strength to deal with the urge to scream, "leave me alone", the next time you hear, "I am so sorry". Strength to deal with the unanswerable question of why. Strength to deal with the anger, and it will come. I pray every morning for even a tiny moment of peace for them.  

[CountryGentleman]

I am crying now just thinking about the pain you both are enduring.  My love and prayers go out for you both.  

[mmc76]

Marilyn,

  So sorry to hear about your loss, my deepest condolences , thoughts and prayers for you and your family. As others have mentioned, please take time to grief and reach out for support. Please take care. 

 

[sparkey600]

16 hours ago, Marilyn Desire said:

Thank you both so much for your help. This has been extremely difficult and one of the hardest losses I have ever had to face. The pain is unimaginable for me and absolutely unbearable for my twin sister. We are both still in shock. His services are being held on Thursday with the viewing today and tomorrow, so the next few days will be the hardest days of our life. Thank you everyone for your continued thoughts, prayers and support ❤

I'm so very sorry for your loss. Life is very unkind on the best of days. My Love, thought and prayers go out to you and your family. Hold your family close, really, that's what all can count on...

[Caressa Duval]

💔💔💔 Your family will be in my heart tomorrow. Never say, "goodbye".  Always say, "I love you".

On 11/9/2021 at 6:14 AM, Marilyn Desire said:

Thank you both so much for your help. This has been extremely difficult and one of the hardest losses I have ever had to face. The pain is unimaginable for me and absolutely unbearable for my twin sister. We are both still in shock. His services are being held on Thursday with the viewing today and tomorrow, so the next few days will be the hardest days of our life. Thank you everyone for your continued thoughts, prayers and support ❤

 

[sweetmoment]

Marilyn, TattooedBombShell, and Gr8owl,

I'm sorry to read of your pains. Yes, it hurts inside.

I hope we in the community can stand with you beside the gaping hole that has opened in your lives.

[ilovewomen]

I can't begin to imagine the pain of losing a child and I hope I never have to go through that.

My sincere condolences and well wishes.

[Caressa Duval]

On 11/9/2021 at 2:47 PM, oldertruckguy-9225 said:

I pray for strength for each lady every morning. Strength to get through this, strength to deal with the UNFATHOMABLE sense of loss. Strength to do the simple every day tasks that have no purpose now. Strength to deal with the urge to scream, "leave me alone", the next time you hear, "I am so sorry". Strength to deal with the unanswerable question of why. Strength to deal with the anger, and it will come. I pray every morning for even a tiny moment of peace for them.  

@oldertruckguy-9225 This is  beautifully said, dear man. Losing a child is the unfathomable. Suddenly, you are stuck in a horror movie with no end. It is un-natural to out live your a child. It is a day that we are never ever supposed to see.

Today they ladies lay their sweet son and nephew to rest. There will be a life they had before today, and trying to live with the anguish from this day on. Friends are vital for these ladies now and in the coming days. We have the power to offer them a moment of peace, and the opportunity to scream. The chance to listen to memories about how amazing this young man was, and how those moments will be brutally missed forever. Listening is one of the greatest way we can support them now and in the future.

I have seen several wonderful people donate to their relief fund on Gofundme from here. As I said before, some of the best people you could ever meet are right here, huge hearts of gold! It is mind blowing how around the time of any funeral, money seems to disintegrate into thin air.  The donation is tax deductible, we have nothing to lose. We can keep these ladies from losing more, and yes sadly more can be lost.

7 hours ago, sweetmoment said:

Marilyn, TattooedBombShell, and Gr8owl,

I'm sorry to read of your pains. Yes, it hurts inside.

I hope we in the community can stand with you beside the gaping hole that has opened in your lives.

@sweetmoment Yes, stand with them, besides the gaping hole torn into the universe for these ladies. It is the least we can do.

[Hunter VanDyke]

Very well said Caressa, and thank you again. Thank you to all those who have helped their family.  As several of you have experienced before, this community supports our own even more than people in their personal lives sometimes. This is not lost on them, and they are extremely grateful to you all.  It means a lot. 💙

[coolhand luke]

I know the pain of a death of a child.  My oldest son passed away 1.5 years ago and it still hurts.  Pass on my deepest deepest sympathies to them as I know the pain they must feel.

[Caressa Duval]

On 11/11/2021 at 9:37 AM, Hunter VanDyke said:

 This is not lost on them, and they are extremely grateful to you all.  It means a lot. 💙

They are extremely grateful, and as you can imagine not able to think about this world here. Or navigate the real world right now. They are aware of everything everyone is doing to help them. My heart swells with the outpouring of support the people here have shown them.

 

3 hours ago, coolhand luke said:

I know the pain of a death of a child.  My oldest son passed away 1.5 years ago and it still hurts.  Pass on my deepest deepest sympathies to them as I know the pain they must feel.

This saddens me to hear, dear friend of mine

[Marilyn Desire]

Reading all of these comments has given me so much peace. It is incredibly amazing to see all of the support you all have given to my sister and I whether it is donating to the Go Fund me or providing words of encouragement. I don't think I realized how supportive this community is of each other until now. It hurts to see my twin sister scream out in pain knowing I can't do anything for her except be a shoulder to cry on. I have been sharing all of your kind words with her and it brings her comfort. My nephew had autism and suffered from extreme anxiety and depression that ultimately led him to take his own life. The hardest part of all of this is all of the questions of WHY? We will never know why he chose to do this, all we can do now is hope and pray that he is finally at peace. Thank you all, and please keep us in your thoughts! Xoxoxo

[gr8owl]

On 11/11/2021 at 1:36 AM, sweetmoment said:

Marilyn, TattooedBombShell, and Gr8owl,

I'm sorry to read of your pains. Yes, it hurts inside.

I hope we in the community can stand with you beside the gaping hole that has opened in your lives.

thank you

[oldertruckguy-9225]

From what I have learned of this community I expected nothing less then the genuine outpouring of care and support. I would gently remind all us to be aware that while, in the coming weeks, months our lives will move on. Their lives will still be centered around this tragedy. I mean nothing negative in that. It is natural. As we go on to our daily live they will struggle to cope with with a new normal. A normal they do not want. The next few weeks, months will be extremely difficult. And not just because it is the holiday season.  Depression, anxiety, hopelessness and anger can to easily become overwhelming influences  in their lives. Even if it means circling dates on the calendar, all of us need to continue to check-in on them. I do not know them personally but I will honestly try to ask, privately, those of you who do know them, how they are doing. I know it will be necessary for me to circle dates on a calendar. That's just the way life is sometimes. I still pray each morning for strength and peace for them.     

[TattooedBombShell]

I am overwhelmed with Grattitude from all the messages and out pouring of love and the stories you have all shared. My son, 15 years old ended his life on 11-04-21 after a long battle with Autism, anxiety and depression. While I am too a private person and don’t tend to share with most, I want to share his story because no one should ever feel alone.  I honestly don’t know how I’m going to get through each day without him but I am grateful to have such support from this community as you have all been with me for several years now. I would dare to say that I am closer to most of my clients than I am a lot of my family and that is ok. We find comfort in the places where we feel it the most and I feel your love and support here more than anywhere. Thank you all for everything❤️
Fly Home My Sweet Sweet Boy 🦋 

[Mustang87]

5 hours ago, TattooedBombShell said:

I am overwhelmed with Grattitude from all the messages and out pouring of love and the stories you have all shared. My son, 15 years old ended his life on 11-04-21 after a long battle with Autism, anxiety and depression. While I am too a private person and don’t tend to share with most, I want to share his story because no one should ever feel alone.  I honestly don’t know how I’m going to get through each day without him but I am grateful to have such support from this community as you have all been with me for several years now. I would dare to say that I am closer to most of my clients than I am a lot of my family and that is ok. We find comfort in the places where we feel it the most and I feel your love and support here more than anywhere. Thank you all for everything❤️
Fly Home My Sweet Sweet Boy 🦋 

💔

[oldertruckguy-9225]

My daughter said the exact same thing 4 years ago when her son, my 22 month old grandson, died. "Fly Home My Sweet, Sweet Baby Boy" . I understand. I have tears.

[Hunter VanDyke]

12 hours ago, TattooedBombShell said:

I am overwhelmed with Grattitude from all the messages and out pouring of love and the stories you have all shared. My son, 15 years old ended his life on 11-04-21 after a long battle with Autism, anxiety and depression. While I am too a private person and don’t tend to share with most, I want to share his story because no one should ever feel alone.  I honestly don’t know how I’m going to get through each day without him but I am grateful to have such support from this community as you have all been with me for several years now. I would dare to say that I am closer to most of my clients than I am a lot of my family and that is ok. We find comfort in the places where we feel it the most and I feel your love and support here more than anywhere. Thank you all for everything❤️
Fly Home My Sweet Sweet Boy 🦋 

Sending you love 💙

[Marilyn Desire]

Thank you again to everyone who has been so supportive. Life is moving on whether we want it to or not. We appreciate your patience and understanding as we begin to resume our lives without our precious boy. We are here for you just as you have been there for us. Part of healing is trying to get back to where we were before we lost him, or at least try too. Grateful for all of you! ❤ ❤