Posted February 4, 2019 Number 10 - Death is the number 1 killer in the world. Number 9 - Life is sexually transmitted. Number 8 - Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. Number 7 - Men have two emotions - hungry and horny, and they can't tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich. Number 6 - Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years. Number 5 - Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing. Number 4 - All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism. Number 3 - In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it look normal. Number 2 - Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today may burn your ass tomorrow. Number 1 - Don't worry about old age, it doesn't last that long. 10 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 4, 2019 100% of all Divorce's start with Marriage.... 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 4, 2019 Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your kids. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 4, 2019 Each betrayal begins with trust. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 5, 2019 (edited) Everybody's "omg, he/she is so hot/wonderful/sweet/ attentive/etc," is somebody else's "good riddance." Edited February 5, 2019 by Happymon 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 5, 2019 When you tell your wife there's a broken condom on the sofa, and she's says quit calling your son that! 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 5, 2019 As I've frequently said, Ignorance can be cured, stupidly is forever. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 5, 2019 the difference between genius and stupidity...genius has limits... 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 5, 2019 The hardest lessons are given to the strongest souls. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 5, 2019 Never waste a hard-on, or pass a bathroom (especially if over 55). 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 5, 2019 If your parents don't have kids, there's a good chance you won't, either. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 6, 2019 I always liked Prince Phillip's rules of foreign travel, and he should know: 1. Always eat the local food, 2. Never drink the local water, and 3. Never, never, pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 6, 2019 On 2/4/2019 at 9:54 PM, Just Another Guy said: Never waste a hard-on, or pass a bathroom (especially if over 55). Some of the largest regrets in life have been passing up a bathroom. Now I've become quite a connoisseur, I have seen most of the public offerings in the city. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 7, 2019 On 2/4/2019 at 7:21 PM, fishndude57 said: Never trust a fart. Especially if you are over 60! 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 7, 2019 On 2/4/2019 at 2:26 PM, Kaduk said: 100% of all Divorce's start with Marriage.... Divorces are expensive because they're worth it. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites