Posted December 21, 2017 So. New to the scene, but wanted to see what everyone else does here. It's been a long time since I'd been with a woman, so the first time back, I literally had to get off in a public restroom an hour before because I knew that I would not be able to sustain myself for long. Even then, I still came earlier than I'd wanted. The PROBLEM here for me is the second I get off, I instantly regret everything, want nothing to do with the opposite sex, want to cancel my appointment...for an hour or so. Then the beast comes back and I'm fine. But I still feel like, "Damn, what am I doing?" But I can't help but feel like I'm going through a McDonald's drive through on my way to a fancy steak dinner. Rambling now. Thoughts? 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted December 22, 2017 Not a lot of responses yet, I think folks aren't quite sure what to respond with. Let me try with my experience. My thoughts is that I enjoy the companionship time as much as the pure play time. That's what I mentally look forward to, the smile when the door opens, the chatting, the catching up on a return visit, that feeling of being comfortable. Sure, in the middle of the night, the thoughts of play time enter my head. But in the hours before, it's the whole person I'm looking forward to seeing, if that makes sense. It's been tough for me to get out for the last few months though due to some things going on in my life. That's OK though. It's the people I miss and want to cross paths with again. You know, for something that might help, try being a little more spontaneous. Some don't have a problem with meeting quickly. You might have the idea of "Yeah, Tuesday afternoon I'm going to go see someone..." but don't make firm plans. See who is available quickly so you don't have time to overthink things. Just go and live in the moment for a bit... 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted December 22, 2017 Reminds me of that scene in Something About Mary! 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted December 22, 2017 Thanks guys! I think because this is all so new to me, I'm not comfortable at ALL. I mean, once I get in there and things start moving, I'm fine, but it's the negative anticipation and dread that I feel in the run up to this...I'm sure it'll get easier with time. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted December 22, 2017 How many times has this happened? Or just this one time? 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted December 22, 2017 Sounds like you could use some reading up on the art of GFE/BFE. This isn't like blindly stabbing at the yellow pages for some dental relief. It's a date, usually on both sides. We don't want it to feel like the lunch time drive thru, either. Find a lady you can build some rapport with. A few sexy messages, flirt, see some personality. Work on building desire for HER, and that feels reciprocated. You're allowed to have some feelings like that.(and we won't tell!) Take your time enjoying each other; maybe you find some gorgeously mad chemistry, or a sexy "friendship", or some hearts of gold and grit that you admire. We are all human beings, do a little research for someone you can possibly desire past the 10 seconds of jizz. Give a little, get a little; it's more complex than just a wallet and open legs. And sometimes, if it still feels like McDonald's, at least maybe it's the best one you've been to in a loonnnggg time! 4 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted December 22, 2017 Look at it as being a temporary boyfriend with a temporary girlfriend .Just be nice during your agreed upon time together. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted December 22, 2017 How old are you???? Sounds like puberty thing to me. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted December 22, 2017 9 hours ago, FireKitten said: Sounds like you could use some reading up on the art of GFE/BFE. This isn't like blindly stabbing at the yellow pages for some dental relief. It's a date, usually on both sides. We don't want it to feel like the lunch time drive thru, either. Find a lady you can build some rapport with. A few sexy messages, flirt, see some personality. Work on building desire for HER, and that feels reciprocated. You're allowed to have some feelings like that.(and we won't tell!) Take your time enjoying each other; maybe you find some gorgeously mad chemistry, or a sexy "friendship", or some hearts of gold and grit that you admire. We are all human beings, do a little research for someone you can possibly desire past the 10 seconds of jizz. Give a little, get a little; it's more complex than just a wallet and open legs. And sometimes, if it still feels like McDonald's, at least maybe it's the best one you've been to in a loonnnggg time! Well said, and stay out of public bathrooms - if you gotta do a quickie to last longer, get your quickie and then longer time on your date (I remember those days) 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted December 22, 2017 (edited) Try a two hour + dinner date. Specifically request that play time be split into before dinner and after dinner sessions. She can knock off the "appetizer" in a hurry, and then you can get to know each other over dinner. The after dinner playtime will be that much more enjoyable. Also, while it is fun pleasing a lady, do not get caught in the trap of thinking you must perform like some greek sex god when you see a lady. Especially on a first meeting with her. It sometimes takes many meetings to get to know each other to the point where the lady can relax enough to enjoy herself. If you don't want to do the dinner thing, just find a gal who advertises MSOG. THEN RELAX. If you explode in the first few minutes, you can cuddle and spoon until you are ready to go again. At the risk of sounding like a pig....you are paying them to please you. Just relax and let them do their job. They are really good at it. Edited December 22, 2017 by Yorick 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted December 22, 2017 21 hours ago, EssSix said: The PROBLEM here for me is the second I get off, I instantly regret everything, want nothing to do with the opposite sex, want to cancel my appointment...for an hour or so. Then the beast comes back and I'm fine. But I still feel like, "Damn, what am I doing?" Rambling now. Thoughts? It's not uncommon for men to lose interest immediately after ejaculation. A combination of factors from a drop in hormone levels to strict sexual upbringing can contribute. If it bothers you, talk to someone qualified to help. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted December 22, 2017 Try taking your head off and screwing it back on straight. OK...so you have been burned in relationships so you "want nothing to do with the opposite sex". Quit lying to yourself in angry rebellion. You DO want something...SEX. You just want nothing to do with a "relationship". Face it, accept it, embrace it...thats ok! The ladies around these parts are not wanting that kind of relationship with you either, so you'll fit right in. Now some of the ladies (but not all) appreciate your efforts to get THEM off, but that"s not why you are there. Rather than waste a shot in a filthy restroom, just pick a MSOG friendly girl, book the right amount of time....fire the first shot on a "fast draw".....then take the time to aim the next one. Contrary to popular, historical, control myths, love, sex, relationships ARE separable. Millions of years of nature back up that view. Embrace that NSA sex is GOOD!! Then go embrace HER. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted December 22, 2017 14 hours ago, EssSix said: Thanks guys! I think because this is all so new to me, I'm not comfortable at ALL. I mean, once I get in there and things start moving, I'm fine, but it's the negative anticipation and dread that I feel in the run up to this...I'm sure it'll get easier with time. You are getting some really eloquent and useful advice from the other folks, but I want to just say, WTF! You should definitely not feel negative anticipation or dread in the moments leading up to a date. You should be feeling happiness, excitement and adrenaline leading up to a date. Maybe you are not into adrenaline sports, so the feeling may be foreign, but the pounding heart, shaky hands, racing thoughts are all part of the fun - embrace it! If you really dread the dates, maybe you have a little too much baggage in your upbringing to enjoy the sport - in that case, you might want to move on to another sport. If you decide to stay in this sport, stay away from public bathrooms, and share your feelings with your date - in addition to being incredibly foxy, most of the ladies are highly-trained sexologists, skilled in handling a gentleman who likes a quickie, followed by a slower experience. A couple of them (look for the keyword "Tantra" in your searches) are pretty darned skilled at showing you how to slow down and control yourself - give that a shot for Christmas. And for God's sake, relax and have fun. This sport is too expensive to be suffering through. Merry Christmas, dude, welcome to the inner circle of those who know... 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted December 23, 2017 On 12/21/2017 at 3:33 PM, EssSix said: So. New to the scene, but wanted to see what everyone else does here. It's been a long time since I'd been with a woman, so the first time back, I literally had to get off in a public restroom an hour before because I knew that I would not be able to sustain myself for long. Even then, I still came earlier than I'd wanted. The PROBLEM here for me is the second I get off, I instantly regret everything, want nothing to do with the opposite sex, want to cancel my appointment...for an hour or so. Then the beast comes back and I'm fine. But I still feel like, "Damn, what am I doing?" But I can't help but feel like I'm going through a McDonald's drive through on my way to a fancy steak dinner. Rambling now. Thoughts? Fair thoughts. Here is my take, it seems you are an intelligent guy, but likely you realize the reality of the deal and you ultimately want something 'more' rather then just a physical act- you are paying someone for affection and faking reality and your brain snaps back to reality after the carnal need is met. A cognitive dissonance. The real question arises, are you truly ok with that? Some like variety, bored with the current life, actually find a real connection with someone, high uncontainable libido... the reasons could be quite numerous. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted December 23, 2017 This thread actually caught my eye. There is a reason I look only for msog providers. I do just the opposite of you. My sex drive requires some form of release at least once every day. The night before a meeting I try not to get off at all. Now I realize this will cause me to go much quicker the next day say 5-10 minutes on round one. That is why round two is there. Usually takes twice as long, but when I’m done I’m completely relaxed. If a girl turns me on at all I’m hard for the entire hour and loving life. I had one session that I was done after the first shot, because I did not find the provider attractive. I’m not embarrassed by going quick, because at least in my case I can just keep going and going. You have to find the rhythm that makes you happy. Different for all of us. Good luck and Merry Christmas to all. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted December 24, 2017 Can you pinpoint what it is exactly that you are regretting? Are you feeling guilty participating in this scene or is it the fact that there is an exchange? I can relate to the "change of interest" initially, I experience that as well after an orgasm. My mind is racing with fantasy type thoughts and at the moment of truth, it comes to a crashing end for a while but then the thoughts and desire returns with time. I think what you are describing is normal. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted December 26, 2017 Good write ups, folks. Thanks for the chat. I just didn't know if anyone else had any pre-meet up rituals like this or I was being crazy. I like getting my money worth, so if I'm there for an hour, I'm not done in sixteen minutes and am trying to run out of there. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted December 26, 2017 Usually, I am one-and-done anyway, although I can make it last for a while; but I am usually satiated before the hour is up. Frankly, looking back over the years, it is the moments after the big pop, laying there, cuddling, talking, laughing, sucking nipples, etc., that I remember best. Don't get up and run, stick around for the cuddles. Not every girl wants to cuddle afterwards, but most don't mind, and the ones that do become regulars. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted December 26, 2017 Most ladies will give you an idea about what their dates are like. I specially state in my ad that I am not interested in a hi and bye appointment. I’d suggest doing some reading of the ad and escorts and see a lady that has been doing this a while. She can put you at ease and not push you out the door when you are finished. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted December 27, 2017 On 12/21/2017 at 11:28 PM, EssSix said: Thanks guys! I think because this is all so new to me, I'm not comfortable at ALL. I mean, once I get in there and things start moving, I'm fine, but it's the negative anticipation and dread that I feel in the run up to this...I'm sure it'll get easier with time. This is what caught my eye. If I had negative anticipation and dread leading up to an appointment I think I would cancal. I'm usually filled with excitement and positive anticipation. But you are corrent, if you do press forward and make good decisions of who to see, I think it will get easier as you go along. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted December 27, 2017 It does get easier especially as you find some ladies you click with. I’ll still get nervous about an appointment but once I see that warm smile and kiss hello I wonder what I was worried about! 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
