So my shrink told me...

[Gentlejeff1]

My shrink told me that all escorts were sexually abused as children even if they won't admit or have blocked the memory. I'm not kidding that's what she told me while she was trying to dig deep to find the trauma or blocked memory of any sexual abuse I may have had as a kid. She thinks that my thirst for hanging with escorts is not a good thing and it exposes some flaw in my life. But I had a wonderful upbringing with virtually no negatives. My parents were good parents and cared for me very well. My father taught me to respect women and to never treat them like a piece of meat. And I have taken that attitude with all the women I have met through the years and have had many, many wonderful relationships, both non-sexual and sexual. So why the hell does she think I have some flaw? Pardon my ranting - I'm getting off topic - but she seems to be stereotyping anyone who deviates from the standard sexual stereotype. 

So, ladies, is it true that everyone of you was sexually abused as a child? Based  on my experiences with many fine ladies i have a hard time believing that. I do know several ladies I have been with that admitted it (I didn't probe they volunteered it) and I always treat them more tenderly because child abuse, in my book, is about the lowest Of the low that a human can go. Murderers have more integrity than a parent or trusted one who takes advantage of an innocent child. (When a guy who I was interviewing for a job at my company explained he had a 25 year old felony for beating up a man who was taping a 6 year old girl, I immediately said, "you're hired."). 

I don't expect you ladies to spill the beans on whether this did or didn't happen to you. I'm just looking for an answer to that broad steretype statement made by my therapist (whom I have stopped seeing - she was not helpful at all). 

[Lucy Kitten]

You need a new therapist, glad to see you have stopped seeing her. There are a good number of sex positive therapists out there, maybe you can find one of them.

[Gentlejeff1]

Actually I've given up on them altogether. I was going thru a rough patch and found some help there. But the rough patch had nothing to do with sex, it was business, and she tried to turn it into a sex thing, you know, the Freudian stuff. To be honest, I got (and still get) better therapy from you wonderful ladies then I ever got from a therapist. Most of the time I don't need somebody looking for flaws, I just need someone to help me and hold me when the storms are raging. It can be hard and lonely world sometimes and escorts are a wonderful oasis. And I find that being able to give as much or more back to the lady than she gives me is very cathartic. 

[pitbull]

There is definitely a subset of women with "screwed up" upbringings, and that's not a revolutionary statement by any means. To say the word "all" is "almost always" wrong. At least 90% of the time it is 50% wrong. 

[gr8owl]

1 hour ago, Gentlejeff1 said:

 

I don't expect you ladies to spill the beans on whether this did or didn't happen to you. I'm just looking for an answer to that broad steretype statement made by my therapist (whom I have stopped seeing - she was not helpful at all). 

I guess I am puzzled on many levels.  First assuming there are still therapists that subscribe to the repressed memories horse shit, that is tragic.  Second the "theory" that all escorts were abused and/or molested as children is insulting and ludicrous on the surface.  It implies that only the damaged and traumatized could possibly choose the profession.  I am glad you have quit seeing said therapist, but why drag out this question as being worthy of a post?  You should already know the answer without inviting some of the local trolls to pile onto the ladies one more time with an idiotic stereotype.

[muckleskelpin]

Check the derivation of th word "therapist". It breaks down to "the rapist". Ergo, all therapists are rapists. Same logic, all based on what???

[stevie-2249]

Well since we see the ladies doea that mean all of us men have been abused as well?

[Lucy Kitten]

 

[Lucy Kitten]

1 hour ago, Gentlejeff1 said:

Actually I've given up on them altogether. I was going thru a rough patch and found some help there. But the rough patch had nothing to do with sex, it was business, and she tried to turn it into a sex thing, you know, the Freudian stuff. To be honest, I got (and still get) better therapy from you wonderful ladies then I ever got from a therapist. Most of the time I don't need somebody looking for flaws, I just need someone to help me and hold me when the storms are raging. It can be hard and lonely world sometimes and escorts are a wonderful oasis. And I find that being able to give as much or more back to the lady than she gives me is very cathartic. 

Therapy isn't just for those rough patches it's really helpful when your therapist isn't a twat. It's healthy to have someone to vent to and give you solid, education backed advice. Sex positive therapists aren't really all about sex they're just open to the conversation and less judgmental. I don't need therapy because of sex but because of my profession it's helpful to me to have someone who's friendly to the idea.

 

[pfunk]

21 minutes ago, stevie-2249 said:

Well since we see the ladies doea that mean all of us men have been abused as well?

Of course! We've all been damaged in some way (imperfect parenting, bullies in childhood, genetic physical and mental deviations, etc.) . Some of us more severely than others, for certain. None of us escape without a mark. 

When therapists decide "one size fits all" for causation, though, they've left the path to healing. 

 

 

 

 

[gr8owl]

Can we please just kill this pointless and demeaning, insulting thread in its entirety and move on? 

[Gentlejeff1]

Well, now that I've stirred up this hornet's nest, I googled the topic and found  4 articles by "experts" who implied or stated that sexual abuse leads to prostitution.Here's one quote that wasn't footnoted but used as the basic for their argument: "According to the Maxim Institute of New Zealand, “three international surveys have shown that between 60 and 90 percent of prostitutes have suffered prior sexual abuse.” Another study interviewed 70 women and came up with similar results.  One had something that made more sense, that sexual abuse leads to running away and running away often leads to prostitution. As in so many other areas these studies are often based on small samples and conducted with an end result in mind that best fits the prejudices of the author. 

There is an important distinction that gets buried under all the politicians and experts noise: there are those women who have chosen to be escorts of their own volition, others choose it because they have no other means of support and others are being forced into it by criminals. I would say that the overwhelming majority of the ladies on TOB are of the first category. There are then a mix of all 3 on BP and the like. How any of these groups got there is by many different trails and not necessarily sexual abuse. 

It seems to that a healthy discussion of this topic would be best served by those in the business speaking about it rather than experts postulating based on  statistics. 

[Happymon]

3 minutes ago, Gentlejeff1 said:

Well, now that I've stirred up this hornet's nest, I googled the topic and found  4 articles by "experts" who implied or stated that sexual abuse leads to prostitution.

 

 

 

 

 

 

And 90% of drug addicts started life on mother's milk and the other 10% on a bottle. 

So what? Seeing as you're clueless and good research in this are is nearly non-existent and even if it weren't, so what?  What's the point?

 

[Guest]

Um Jeff, this is wrong on so many levels I don't even know where to start. It's simply NOT true! I don't give a fuck what anyone says, I have never been sexually or otherwise abused. In fact, none of the ladies I have met over the years have been. I'm pissed off to be lumped into some unrealistic category. 

 

[stevie-2249]

Now none of the ladies will ever admit to this nor will you find any man on this site to believe it so its a never ending battle to even try to prove it.

[Gentlejeff1]

1 hour ago, Melissa Sterling said:

Um Jeff, this is wrong on so many levels I don't even know where to start. It's simply NOT true! I don't give a fuck what anyone says, I have never been sexually or otherwise abused. In fact, none of the ladies I have met over the years have been. I'm pissed off to be lumped into some unrealistic category. 

 

Thanks Melissa for saying that. I Know it is wrong but there are idiots in this world who still propound this crap, usually on some crusade to save the world. And it is certainly something that will have to be dealt with since there is bound to be a debate inevitably about legalizing prostitution in this country. When I just did the Google search it was insane how many voices contend that escorts are all victims and how if we men would just stop paying for sex women would somehow be made whole and prostitution would disappear. The Internet, though, in making escorting something that you can engage in relatively safely without pimps and without walking the streets, is changing the game. It is opening the ancient world of courtesan-ship up in a new and exciting way. 

So, as much as this post is pissing some people off I'm glad I brought it up. 

[Guest]

46 minutes ago, Gentlejeff1 said:

Thanks Melissa for saying that. I Know it is wrong but there are idiots in this world who still propound this crap, usually on some crusade to save the world. And it is certainly something that will have to be dealt with since there is bound to be a debate inevitably about legalizing prostitution in this country. When I just did the Google search it was insane how many voices contend that escorts are all victims and how if we men would just stop paying for sex women would somehow be made whole and prostitution would disappear. The Internet, though, in making escorting something that you can engage in relatively safely without pimps and without walking the streets, is changing the game. It is opening the ancient world of courtesan-ship up in a new and exciting way. 

So, as much as this post is pissing some people off I'm glad I brought it up. 

You are propounding this crap too! Not only by  posting this to an escort board, but then posting random crap you found on google.

This post is pushing the boundaries of content in my opinion. "Sexually abused kids" should not be a phrase you see on an adult only escort forum.

In addition, even though you did not disclose names you posted this "I do know several ladies I have been with that admitted it ". Something was that told to you in confidence and is now posted to a public forum.

What is said in a therapy session is confidential! What is said in an escort meeting is confidential!

FYI, I think you missed the point of Melissa's post.

 

[Gentlejeff1]

4 minutes ago, Kashmir said:

You are propounding this crap too! Not only by  posting this to an escort board, but then posting random crap you found on google.

This post is pushing the boundaries of content in my opinion. "Sexually abused kids" should not be a phrase you see on an adult only escort forum.

In addition, even though you did not disclose names you posted this "I do know several ladies I have been with that admitted it ". Something was that told to you in confidence and is now posted to a public forum.

What is said in a therapy session is confidential! What is said in an escort meeting is confidential!

FYI, I think you missed the point of Melissa's post.

 

I must take exception to that. I'm not propounding this crap I'm trying to counter it but apparently my intentions have been completely misunderstood, so for that I apologize. As to outing anybody or revealing any confidences, I did no such thing. The girls who told me that are not even in this board or reviewed here. And I can reveal anything that my shrink said to me if I want to. 

This board deals with a lot of uncomfortable issues which I think is a good thing but apologize for offending anybody by bringing this up. The ladies who I know who were sexually abused as children had some serious scars and I tried to help them and if you could ask them I believe they'd say they appreciated it. 

 

[Happymon]

3 hours ago, Gentlejeff1 said:

 So, as much as this post is pissing some people off I'm glad I brought it up. 

Again, pardner, what crusade are you on?

Last chance: So what?

[Guest]

2 hours ago, Gentlejeff1 said:

I must take exception to that. I'm not propounding this crap I'm trying to counter it but apparently my intentions have been completely misunderstood, so for that I apologize. As to outing anybody or revealing any confidences, I did no such thing. The girls who told me that are not even in this board or reviewed here. And I can reveal anything that my shrink said to me if I want to. 

This board deals with a lot of uncomfortable issues which I think is a good thing but apologize for offending anybody by bringing this up. The ladies who I know who were sexually abused as children had some serious scars and I tried to help them and if you could ask them I believe they'd say they appreciated it. 

 

This board is to discuss things that are between consenting adults. You absolutely are propounding it. If you feel the need to discuss the topic of this thread with a therapist, that is your problem.

Stop acting like you are the first person ever to shed light on this problem. Everyone in the world knows about it!

You are posting a topic that is off limits in my opinion. Anything to do with a child present or past tense.

If you think you are helping women in this situation by posting a thread about it on an escort board,  you are so wrong!

The women I know in the business were NOT abused as children. I do know they exist.

So I will let you know what you probably did do. Since you have such good intentions.

If there are escorts here that were abused as children. They are working through it privately.

They most likely logged into today to tend to their ad and make a living. Only to have your thread slap them in the face with bad memories.

It made me want to puke up my morning coffee. I can't even begin to know what it did to their day.

But thank you for bringing it to our attention.

 

Edited May 30, 2016 by Kashmir

[Bit Banger]

This therapist (and many others too) is so full of BS I can't begin to think of the harm they do with their "you were abused" mantra. 

I had a friend who's brother was seeing a therapist that managed to convince him that his (long dead) father had abused him. When he confronted his family about this, they denied it. Perhaps a neighbor, but they had know knowledge of any wrong doing. He angrily broke off relations with his family, refusing to even come to their funerals. It's my understanding that he is now a lonely, bitter man. All because of his therapist. 

Glad you fired yours!

As for the divine YL we find here, I give thanks for the peace and solace the bring to my life. 

[abigailfox]

Yes, many were. Prob a good 80 % of the ones I have encountered. Prob a good 70% or more with drug/alcohol issues. Have I encountered one with no issues...not yet. Maybe they exist. I myself am in recovery. I've driven to pick up girls who cannot drive to make their photo shoots. I've (and still) watch a pimp on fb pick up these women and exploit them. Is everyone engaged in this? No. But yes, they are out there. To say otherwise is silly. A good 75% of women go through sexual abuse at some point. I would say 5%of escorts have their head on straight...the rest...heh...you want an honest answer. There it is. I've met a grand total of 3 over the years I consider to be organized and normal. I would not have included myself in that total back in the day. Now, yes. Before, hell no.

[TrystinTrimble]

I wasn't abused. If anything, I was the pervert 

Your shrink is pretty full of shit, and is projecting her own values on her patients.  The solution is definitely NOT to stop seeking the company of Miss Sugarbritches <---right over here 

[muckleskelpin]

9 hours ago, abigailfox said:

Yes, many were. Prob a good 80 % of the ones I have encountered. Prob a good 70% or more with drug/alcohol issues. Have I encountered one with no issues...not yet. Maybe they exist. I myself am in recovery. I've driven to pick up girls who cannot drive to make their photo shoots. I've (and still) watch a pimp on fb pick up these women and exploit them. Is everyone engaged in this? No. But yes, they are out there. To say otherwise is silly. A good 75% of women go through sexual abuse at some point. I would say 5%of escorts have their head on straight...the rest...heh...you want an honest answer. There it is. I've met a grand total of 3 over the years I consider to be organized and normal. I would not have included myself in that total back in the day. Now, yes. Before, hell no.

But it is prevalent in the general population too. 

[Phil-anderer]

So, here are some facts.  1 in 3-4 women are sexually abused at some point in their lifetime, and 1 to 6-8 men.  The research on this is pretty good.  I'm not familiar with the research for sexual abuse in prostitutes, but it seems reasonable that a few % points more have been abused.  

Does this mean all?  Or most?  Probably not.  It does mean, however, that any women you meet has at least a 33% chance of having been abused.

[Kae Marie]

Mmm. There is a spectrum for everything. Some were and figured out how to use it to "upgrade" themselves. Some people have active libidos and are good at it so they take in the Westernized business standpoint and use it as a means to "better their lives..." All a spectrum. But I recently watched the movie 'The Girlfriend Experience' (2009)...pretty okay movie. 

[abigailfox]

I only quoted the number I know of. To say it's none is complete bs. I got in this industry to feed a habit. I stay here because I have been in recovery for quite a while now, and I'm fit, healthy etc etc. I do not associate with other providers because I know the game. Most of you don't see it. My best friend up until she od was pimped since 14. I know the dark side. It's been 4 years now. Don't jump on the OP. 

[pitbull]

22 hours ago, abigailfox said:

Yes, many were. Prob a good 80 % of the ones I have encountered. Prob a good 70% or more with drug/alcohol issues. Have I encountered one with no issues...not yet. Maybe they exist. I myself am in recovery. I've driven to pick up girls who cannot drive to make their photo shoots. I've (and still) watch a pimp on fb pick up these women and exploit them. Is everyone engaged in this? No. But yes, they are out there. To say otherwise is silly. A good 75% of women go through sexual abuse at some point. I would say 5%of escorts have their head on straight...the rest...heh...you want an honest answer. There it is. I've met a grand total of 3 over the years I consider to be organized and normal. I would not have included myself in that total back in the day. Now, yes. Before, hell no.

Well, that's fascinating, and it completely makes sense. You simply don't see women from ideal upbringings enter this profession. 

[Yogi]

None of us knows where each are coming from, so this is yet another reason to be kind to each other out there. 

 

[abigailfox]

We can all be kind to each other, but unfortunately the truth hurts. And yes, I did have a decent upbringing, unfortunately addiction is also in my DNA. So, I ended up here for bad reasons. I've been in recovery for four years now. I'm a part timer, but I genuinely enjoy this, otherwise I wouldn't be here, thankfully I don't have a therapist or the reasons could be analysed to death lol. Point being, most women do not get into this for the right reasons, some, but not most. When I attend meetings, most of the women there have turned to this work to fuel addictions. Again, not all, but I see many of them. They are not bad people by any means, far be it from me to judge. I do know one or two who were sober. That's where the list ends. Honesty is part of sobriety, otherwise I wouldn't be bothering with this thread, as I feel many don't want, or care to know the truth. Watch Bruna Surfistnha. Good movie.