Poll: Regarding asps as future/current spouses.

[urfan]

there are some pretty significant if's in the OP's premise but, given them, i think a woman who was in this line of work at one time in her life would definitely quality as spouse material, at least for me.

having been married to someone since the mid '80s who was sexually repressed (damn catholicism anyway) to begin with and only got more so as time went on definitely had its deleterious effects. people are just people and if two hearts find the magic together, life is too short and true love is too rare a commodity to deny one's self that ultimate happiness.

and isn't that what we're all looking for?

[Wendy Whitney]

I doubt that there is a universal answer. Some girls will learn to be better people from any job (including escorting). Some girls will learn nothing from any job, and be whiny victims most of their lives.

The first type of girl makes a good spouse, IMHO!

Fixed it for you.

I find the basic premise of this thread as offensive as any racial stereotype.

Why do you find it offensive?

The OP asked a question regarding women and Pfunk answered it referring to women.

[Lucy Kitten]

Why do you find it offensive?

The OP asked a question regarding women and Pfunk answered it referring to women.

What does being a whiny victim have anything to do with a job? Or being an escort or an escort in a relationship? Why are there only three categories under which to fall under? It was a moot point and seemed to to serve no real purpose other then to offend.

[2Big]

Marry a hooker? Hell to the motherfucking no. Most of them are crazier than a Kentucky redneck, high on Moonshine and crystal meth.

[urfan]

lol. sounds like you may have more than casual acquaintance with both hookers and hillbillies

[2small]

Being in this industry is not what defines somebody as a person. Asking how being an ASP impacts somebody's ability to be a good mate is about as relevant as asking how being a secretary, dentist, chef, or a seamstress impacts somebody's ability to be a good mate. In my opinion, things to factor in when considering what makes a "good mate" include personality, honesty, kindness and the amount of love that one person has in their heart that they are willing to share with another.

If being an ASP has impacted one's morality, there is a very good chance that they are not okay with who they are in the first place. Chances are that no matter what job they choose their morality issues will still be the same, because the truth is it is not the job that makes a good person a good person. It is what lies within a person that is the determining factor on whether or not they are considered good.

Destiny, thats the best answer and best post i have ever seen from you. Thanks from the bottom of my heart for saying it. you are indeed wise and Pfunk is a lucky man.

[2small]

Its interesting that we're all focusing on sex. What about the ASP's role of understanding the male psyche (as best as we can). We deal with gentlemen on a very personal level in areas that can be emotional minefields.

Then again, I've never been married. Maybe I'm describing what a wife does anyway.

Isabell, IMHO you are right. Marriage is so much more than sex. Once the initial passion has worn off there needs to be something else there. respect, caring, mutual interest sometimes but above all respect. I havent had sex with my SO in over 2 years or so. Its due to my health issues and her going through the change. I still love her with all my heart and we get along great. Its true i have taken some comfort elsewhere as when i was younger i was very horny for lack of a bettor word. Now that im in my 60's i have started to slow down some. I still like it every now and then though, but I will never ever leave my SO as she is the woman of my dreams and takes care of me bettor than anyone else ever has.

[Paul Pudenda]

I suppose an ASP is as qualified as any woman to take in a divorce half of what I own.

[passiondog]

Marry a hooker? Hell to the motherfucking no. Most of them are crazier than a Kentucky redneck, high on Moonshine and crystal meth.

I could marry and "ex" hooker. I will have to admit I could not marry one that wanted to stay in her asp job. My ego is not that rock solid.

I couldn't say now what my response would have been exactly if someone asked me what I thought of "hookers" before I got in to this hobby, but now that I have after 6 years I know my opinion now is that I just love them. They are people no different than the teller at the bank, the lawyer, the dentist, some may be awful people just like some lawyer's or dentist might be perhaps but most I have met I have liked.

So, Cherry by the way, if you want to get married look me up, I will reserve that little stone church outside of Estes Park, you have to reserve it like a year in advance, that will give you time to get over the fact that I am only about 30 years your senior, but then if I can get past your asp job then you can get past my age. We will live in pure harmony for ever on. You are a sweetheart Cherry.

[NaughtyNiceGuy]

I don't think most ASPs would make a good spouse. They have become too addicted to the attention, the money, and the variety to be happy with a monogamous relationship. Isn't that why we see so many retired providers return?

[Guest hgritstoo]

Why do you find it offensive?

The OP asked a question regarding women and Pfunk answered it referring to women.

You asked.

I don't think most ASPs would make a good spouse. They have become too addicted to the attention, the money, and the variety to be happy with a monogamous relationship. Isn't that why we see so many retired providers return?

This is why. Every person is different. ASPs are persons....at least the last time I checked. Yet, this is the stereotype that is applied to them. Are there ASPs for whom Mr. Naughtyniceguy's description is accurate? No doubt. To say it applies to most....well I find it unfair and rather prejudiced. My opinion.

[Guest sexymaid]

Once upon a time, I dipped my toe in the dating pool after the loss of a beloved spouse. Pre escorting... What a collection! I could tell almost all of them within a couple emails exactly why they were doomed to walk this earth alone. Instead I just didn't date them. Through this career change, I have met some of the most talented, caring and brilliant men. Not all are single certainly but I would have never guessed the caliber of men one would meet in a setting such as this.

I have also had the great fortune to meet some equally brilliant, beautiful and sexually free women that happen to be providers. Believe me, a man would be lucky indeed to be partnered with them.

I would set my single girlfriends up with any number of men here, same with my single male friends before I would suggest the miscreants and freaks of nature on some match site.

Through this experience I have dropped the shackles of society's expectations on what a relationship or marriage should look like. The societal norm doesn't seem to be serving marriages very well from what I can see.

But really, what the hell does a batshit crazy, drug addled hooker know anyhow.

[misconduct]

an interesting question and several good points being made. Cherry I agree this is an entertaining discussion and people should not be offended. Every situation is different. yes I wish my wife was more like an asp but I married her for other reasons.

[Pirate]

Generally speaking, with very few exceptions, someone's PAST should not be an issue. If she seemed like a good match, wasn't insane, and was serious about a relationship, her former profession would be a non-issue. While I have no problem with dating someone who works as an escort, marriage is a whole other level of commitment, and I could not marry or live with someone who wanted to continue that line of work. It is a high risk profession for a lot of reasons, and I would prefer not to deal with the additional stress, regardless of how much money she could make.

[Guest]

Being in this industry is not what defines somebody as a person. Asking how being an ASP impacts somebody's ability to be a good mate is about as relevant as asking how being a secretary, dentist, chef, or a seamstress impacts somebody's ability to be a good mate. In my opinion, things to factor in when considering what makes a "good mate" include personality, honesty, kindness and the amount of love that one person has in their heart that they are willing to share with another.

what she said. thank you dear destiny. love the ways in which you share your wisdom...

although, i will add to this that even though my chosen line of work may not define me, my choice is an expression of me which then proceeds to influence me, & the shape of my further expressions. through this profession i have learned a blessed great deal about myself & others. i have evolved my connection in areas that i already felt proficient in & have grown to meet the challenges in areas where my nature had been to sink back into itself. now as far as how successfully i've been able to carry these lessons over into the "real-life" application of my personal relationships? ...i will admit at times a certain loss in translation. i can only speak for myself, but i have come to attribute this lapse to the great divide that i had created in order to keep these two worlds separate. i realize that this approach has been a form of self-love & was exactly what was asked of-needed by me in the beginning of this here journey. it has served its purpose over the years, bringing me safely to where & who i am today. & for this i am very grateful. however i have come to find this compartmentalization no longer to be serving my anima, my persona nor my relationships. it was a form of sustenance for a time, but that time has passed as i move into the embrace of a more whole-istic practice. my alter-ego is in the midst of rejoining forces with the one from which she sprang, in order to show her the way which she had been too scared to under-take or -stand. so with these intentions i bridge the gap, with renewed love in my heart, having light-ened my mind.

i have no idea how what all i just expressed may impact my own present or future prospects for marriage. nor frankly do i care. though i do care a great deal about the fine art of relationship. be it with self, lover, family, friend, foe, stranger, ..., ...

i declined to vote since every woman who has ever chosen this path, or still chooses it, does so as a personal passage through which she unfolds a part of her own unique story. this is merely a stretch of road we all share. from which here, for each it splits onward. i trust to be shared with... & in! love... a white wedding, or not

[Guest]

I don't think most ASPs would make a good spouse. They have become too addicted to the attention, the money, and the variety to be happy with a monogamous relationship.

some people become too addicted to the fears fed them by their own ego to be happy with any form of honest or dynamic relationship. monogamy & commitment are not one & the same. just sayin'

communication's where the key is at...

[2Big]

Asps:

Pay 'em, bang 'em, leave 'em.

Keep it real by keeping it simple.

[Doug28]

Ember makes you think.

"Monogamy and commitment are not the same thing"

Interesting.

That makes trust and honesty paramount.

Is that possible knowing the nature of the business?

[Lucy Kitten]

Ember makes you think.

"Monogamy and commitment are not the same thing"

Interesting.

That makes trust and honesty paramount.

Is that possible knowing the nature of the business?

Of course it is possible!! Or are you implying that the nature of the business is entirely dishonest?? Ember is also correct monogamy and commitment are very different, even the dictionary would agree. A relationship is only what the two involved define it as, monogamy and commitment are not just automatic when in a relationship

Truth and honesty should be paramount in any relationship, there is no relationship that should require any more trust then any other. There is no business that you can be in that will really have any bearing on whether or not you will be a good partner or a better wife to someone. Providers might have an edge as better lovers as practice does make perfect but promiscuity is not exclusive to providers and being a good lover does not ensure sexual compatibility within a relationship.

[Bit Banger]

Of course it is possible!! Or are you implying that the nature of the business is entirely dishonest?? Ember is also correct monogamy and commitment are very different, even the dictionary would agree. A relationship is only what the two involved define it as, monogamy and commitment are not just automatic when in a relationship

Truth and honesty should be paramount in any relationship, there is no relationship that should require any more trust then any other. There is no business that you can be in that will really have any bearing on whether or not you will be a good partner or a better wife to someone. Providers might have an edge as better lovers as practice does make perfect but promiscuity is not exclusive to providers and being a good lover does not ensure sexual compatibility within a relationship.

All well said! Especially the first paragraph dealing with honesty and the difference between monogamy and commitment.

[Audrey Astor]

I don't think most ASPs would make a good spouse. They have become too addicted to the attention, the money, and the variety to be happy with a monogamous relationship. Isn't that why we see so many retired providers return?

I can only speak for me, but this statement is definitely not true. One man can give me enough attention to satisfy me if he chooses. Money... ehhhhh it comes and goes. And, why can't two people make their own variety? These things have not been the issues in relationships for me.

[boink36]

Of course it is possible!! Or are you implying that the nature of the business is entirely dishonest?? Ember is also correct monogamy and commitment are very different, even the dictionary would agree. A relationship is only what the two involved define it as, monogamy and commitment are not just automatic when in a relationship

Truth and honesty should be paramount in any relationship, there is no relationship that should require any more trust then any other. There is no business that you can be in that will really have any bearing on whether or not you will be a good partner or a better wife to someone. Providers might have an edge as better lovers as practice does make perfect but promiscuity is not exclusive to providers and being a good lover does not ensure sexual compatibility within a relationship.

I agree, I would take an honest relationship over a monogamous relationship any day.