Posted November 12, 2019 Scenario. One contacts a never provider never before seen by you. There is the standard process for information transfer etc. She inquires for a references. You likewise ask for references. She refers you to her reviews (4). Then she gets upset that you asked her for a reference (possibly a provider that she verifies or socializes with) that she's legit as well. So, is it ok for providers to ask for references for security reasons , but taboo for a hobbyist to do the same? It seems she has been around for awhile but has a limited number of reviews which is what gives me some pause. Of course after I asked for references of some type the lines of communication shut down. Thoughts forma ll sides appreciated. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted November 12, 2019 Let me be clear on what you are asking. You found her advertising, liked what you saw, made contact, asked for references, she provided reviews, and you said that the reviews weren't enough and you wanted her to further verify that she is legit? Was your concern that she might be LE, or were you just concerned she might not be who she claims to be and you might be heading into a bait n switch? Were these TOB reviews, and did you reach out to the 4 reviews to get their take? You have a right to ask wherever questions you feel you need to for your safety. But don't surprised if at some point she gets upset and cuts off communication with her. Remember, you reached out to her, not the other way around. Try to do whatever research you can before you reach out to avoid this in the future. 6 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted November 12, 2019 Yes, I reached out to her. Two concerns were that she may be LE and the bait and switch. I messaged to of the reviewers . One did not respond and the other responded and did provide positive feedback. The reviews were TOB reviews as are my OKs. I tried doing research before hand by messaging the reviewers. I attempted accessing the p411 and it appears to be down or not cooperating with my operating system. I still don't see where it's problem to ask for a reference similar as we are asked to provide them. Then again I've been wrong and misunderstood many things in life before this as well. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted November 12, 2019 31 minutes ago, COUNTRIBOI said: I still don't see where it's problem to ask for a reference similar as we are asked to provide them. How is this approach working for you? Did you expect her to provide gentlemen’s names and numbers who she has seen that did not review her?😳😬😳 Many guys don’t review because they want to be discrete and on the low low. This would be totally out of line. You have been around for a minute. If you still need help screening the ladies, I bet some of the guys would help you screen the appropriate way. Stay safe and have fun! 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted November 12, 2019 33 minutes ago, COUNTRIBOI said: Yes, I reached out to her. Two concerns were that she may be LE and the bait and switch. I messaged to of the reviewers . One did not respond and the other responded and did provide positive feedback. The reviews were TOB reviews as are my OKs. I tried doing research before hand by messaging the reviewers. I attempted accessing the p411 and it appears to be down or not cooperating with my operating system. I still don't see where it's problem to ask for a reference similar as we are asked to provide them. Then again I've been wrong and misunderstood many things in life before this as well. You and me both. The thing you want to focus on is the 4 reviews. If at least a couple of them are from established reviewers (been around a while, posted multiply reviews, contributes to the forums, etc.) then frankly that is about as much of an assurance as you are going to get. Not sure how a reference from someone who is not a reviewer would be of any help. If she is LE or bait N switch, and reference she would provide to you would not be any more reliable then she is. I don't criticize anyone from being skeptical in this hobby, as I recently did some extra research on a lady myself, but I think you probably have all of the information you need to make a decision on this one. In the end, trust your gut and be safe. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted November 12, 2019 (edited) 1 hour ago, COUNTRIBOI said: Scenario. One contacts a never provider never before seen by you. There is the standard process for information transfer etc. She inquires for a references. You likewise ask for references. She refers you to her reviews (4). Then she gets upset that you asked her for a reference (possibly a provider that she verifies or socializes with) that she's legit as well. So, is it ok for providers to ask for references for security reasons , but taboo for a hobbyist to do the same? It seems she has been around for awhile but has a limited number of reviews which is what gives me some pause. Of course after I asked for references of some type the lines of communication shut down. Thoughts forma ll sides appreciated. 1 hour ago, COUNTRIBOI said: Yes, I reached out to her. Two concerns were that she may be LE and the bait and switch. I messaged to of the reviewers . One did not respond and the other responded and did provide positive feedback. The reviews were TOB reviews as are my OKs. I tried doing research before hand by messaging the reviewers. I attempted accessing the p411 and it appears to be down or not cooperating with my operating system. I still don't see where it's problem to ask for a reference similar as we are asked to provide them. Then again I've been wrong and misunderstood many things in life before this as well. To put it bluntly, you screwed up by asking her for references when she has reviews. If her reviews are not sufficient in order for you to determine that she is legit, then you need to move on. No lady is going to say contact so & so and he will tell I'm legit. P411 will only show that she is verified. If this was a TOB lady, she can only be on here by being verified. Being verified doesn't mean that every lady is legit as things do happen and things can slip through no matter how hard the mods try to keep everyone honest. If you are not a member of P411, you cannot access the site. If you must insist on getting a reference from a lady before you see her, you need to look for another hobby. If you refuse to provide references, you need to look for another hobby. Your profile shows that you have been a member since 2011. You have several reviews. That is long enough for you to know how things work. Edited November 12, 2019 by ilovewomen 6 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted November 12, 2019 I can not recall a thread similar to this one. I have always thought that reviews were enough to help make the decision to move forward. By asking for references when she has reviews insults her. You might have burnt down the bridge on this one. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted November 12, 2019 1 hour ago, COUNTRIBOI said: Yes, I reached out to her. Two concerns were that she may be LE and the bait and switch. I messaged to of the reviewers . One did not respond and the other responded and did provide positive feedback. The reviews were TOB reviews as are my OKs. I tried doing research before hand by messaging the reviewers. I attempted accessing the p411 and it appears to be down or not cooperating with my operating system. I still don't see where it's problem to ask for a reference similar as we are asked to provide them. Then again I've been wrong and misunderstood many things in life before this as well. Let me get this straight... She has reviews AND you heard back from a reviewer with positive feedback, and you're feeling funky because you have to provide references to see her, and she doesn't have to provide references to you? 🤦♀️ I'm gonna start asking guys for their reviews dammit! 😂😂😂 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted November 12, 2019 7 minutes ago, Hunter VanDyke said: Let me get this straight... She has reviews AND you heard back from a reviewer with positive feedback, and you're feeling funky because you have to provide references to see her, and she doesn't have to provide references to you? 🤦♀️ I'm gonna start asking guys for their reviews dammit! 😂😂😂 No in this case Hunter, he would have to provide you with fellow hobbyists as references for you to contact. Goose and gander kind of thing 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted November 12, 2019 1 hour ago, Alex Majors said: No in this case Hunter, he would have to provide you with fellow hobbyists as references for you to contact. Goose and gander kind of thing I apologize, I don’t understand your reply to Hunter. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted November 13, 2019 My rigorous review standard: 1. Is she cute? If not, is she sorta cute? If not, does she seem to have nice skin? 2. Does she have at least a couple of reviews? 3. Did she respond to an inquiry? Done - on my way. Say what you want, it's served me well for over ten years and hundreds of first dates. I think that you guys who are constantly trying to meet that perfect unicorn that matches all of your desires, is willing to follow a script, is available when you want, and provides free parking, yadda, yadda, yadda are doing nothing more than taking all the fun and adrenaline out of it. Of course, it must be recalled, I am an adrenaline junkie and a very bad boy. 4 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted November 13, 2019 9 hours ago, ilovewomen said: I apologize, I don’t understand your reply to Hunter. Well he was wanting the provider to supply him references. He wanted other providers names to contact to prove she was legit instead of her reviews. So Hunter would have to ask him to provided other hobbyists names and contact info to prove that he was legit. Not ask for his reviews. That would be the opposite of what he is asking. At least that is what it appears to me. If that were the case, I would have never had one hobby experience. No one knows my identity and I prefer it that way. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted November 13, 2019 I personally wouldn’t respond to that. I have my ID checked, pay for ads, a website and reputation. Sometimes I think this is a guys way of not wanting to be screened himself. For example: ”Hey can I see you?” ”Sure, can I see your refs/reviews/verified profile?” ”Don’t have any” ”Okay then I’ll need some rw info” ”Well let me see your rw info” Sorry but that’s not how this works. You sound more paranoid than me and that’s really saying something. If the providers reviews seem sketchy then you can easily move on. Maybe in time they’ll have more reviews and you’ll finally feel at ease. But imo it’s never worth the risk if you don’t feel safe. 4 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted November 13, 2019 18 hours ago, COUNTRIBOI said: Yes, I reached out to her. Two concerns were that she may be LE and the bait and switch. I messaged to of the reviewers . One did not respond and the other responded and did provide positive feedback. The reviews were TOB reviews as are my OKs. I tried doing research before hand by messaging the reviewers. I attempted accessing the p411 and it appears to be down or not cooperating with my operating system. I still don't see where it's problem to ask for a reference similar as we are asked to provide them. Then again I've been wrong and misunderstood many things in life before this as well. This is supposed to be fun. While I understand the need for sensible security and safety, you seem to have a tedious process that has made at least one provider say "Not worth the trouble". Reviews + PM response = solid reference. You might consider sticking with a regular or two whom you have already met. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted November 13, 2019 5 hours ago, Alex Majors said: Well he was wanting the provider to supply him references. He wanted other providers names to contact to prove she was legit instead of her reviews. So Hunter would have to ask him to provided other hobbyists names and contact info to prove that he was legit. Not ask for his reviews. That would be the opposite of what he is asking. At least that is what it appears to me. If that were the case, I would have never had one hobby experience. No one knows my identity and I prefer it that way. When a lady asks you for references, she is typically asking for names of other ladies that have seen you. The way I read the OP’s post was since she asked him for references to prove he was legit and safe, he then asked her for references if other hobbyists (not providers) not providers who would vouch for her as being legit and safe. Either way, the OP has been around long enough to know better. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted November 13, 2019 19 hours ago, COUNTRIBOI said: Scenario. One contacts a never provider never before seen by you. There is the standard process for information transfer etc. She inquires for a references. You likewise ask for references. She refers you to her reviews (4). Then she gets upset that you asked her for a reference (possibly a provider that she verifies or socializes with) that she's legit as well. So, is it ok for providers to ask for references for security reasons , but taboo for a hobbyist to do the same? It seems she has been around for awhile but has a limited number of reviews which is what gives me some pause. Of course after I asked for references of some type the lines of communication shut down. Thoughts forma ll sides appreciated. You have reviews on this board, most of them are old and dated. Did you ask any of the ladies you have seen and reviewed for references? What kind of references do you want of a lady? Hobbyists? Providers? 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted November 13, 2019 (edited) All this talk of references, scams, and stings? Just 25 years ago (yeah, that’s several tech generations) the OP would never get any. If you wanted WYSIWYG, hit the streets If you wanted an agency, grab the local rag If you wanted legal,, go to NV Independents? What’s that? Several reviews and a reply from an author - you need more info than that? May I suggest that you stick with Rosie; you’ve known her all your life. ——EDIT—— Actually, with NV you got all three: WYSIWIG, agency, and legal. Edited November 13, 2019 by Bit Banger 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted November 13, 2019 We all have different levels of risk tolerance. If a lady has tougher screening standards then a guy is comfortable with, he should politely decline the information requested and move on. If a guy is asking for too much verification information about a lady, she should politely decline and move on. There is a point where the industry will make you conform to it's standards, or you won't be able to take part in the industry any longer. The OP is clearly looking for a higher lever of confirmation then most of us on here think is appropriate, myself included, and my guess is he will either change his standards or he will have a difficult time enjoying this hobby. But until then, I don't think we should be too hard on people who are being more cautious then we think they should be. 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted November 13, 2019 We all make choices in life. Some just yield better results. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted November 14, 2019 2 hours ago, mountainrider33 said: Funny thing is when you think you found that undiscovered unicorn provider and ends up more like this You don't like her mountainrider? I think she's great. 🤣🤣🤣 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted November 14, 2019 being overly analytical will suck the fun out the window! 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted November 14, 2019 On 11/12/2019 at 11:05 AM, COUNTRIBOI said: Scenario. One contacts a never provider never before seen by you. There is the standard process for information transfer etc. She inquires for a references. You likewise ask for references. She refers you to her reviews (4). Then she gets upset that you asked her for a reference (possibly a provider that she verifies or socializes with) that she's legit as well. So, is it ok for providers to ask for references for security reasons , but taboo for a hobbyist to do the same? It seems she has been around for awhile but has a limited number of reviews which is what gives me some pause. Of course after I asked for references of some type the lines of communication shut down. Thoughts forma ll sides appreciated. When guys see a small small review sample that may cause a pause. But reading through Ad's should give security knowing that its a legitimate and safe provider. But guys never have any references and if they do they are outdated. Just putting my two cents 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted November 14, 2019 22 hours ago, mountainrider33 said: Funny thing is when you think you found that undiscovered unicorn provider and ends up more like this Write a review. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
