MsAlyssaHughes

Texting Etiquette

25 posts in this topic

Hello TOB,

Yesterday I put my phone away around 6pm and didn't check it again until 7am this morning. I received several text messages during that time meaning these texts were meant to be seen and replied to hours ado. I began to wonder whether I should be polite and text back or maybe leave the texts unanswered due to the risk of reaching someone at home or somewhere where their phone may be picked up by someone other than themselves. I don't want to be rude nor do I want to cause anyone undue stress. Advise?

Kindly,

Alyssa H.

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I think you have the right thought process.  Many providers follow the same etiquette for returning phone calls. Discretion being the number one key, always best to let them contact you again. 

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I think you are right, it's better just to wait until they contact you again, unless they explicitly mentioned something like call me back or text me back to this number at any time.

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17 hours ago, MsAlyssaHughes said:

Yesterday I put my phone away around 6pm and didn't check it again until 7am this morning. 

This is extraordinary. Your profile says you are 24 years old. A 24 year old woman who doesn't check her phone for 13 hours? I'm not sure this is possible. Have you been contacted by the news media? This could be a big story.

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I have always let the girls know that they can text or call at any time so they dont have to wonder

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If they dont recieve a text back they might also think you blew them off and dont text you back 

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14 minutes ago, stevie-2249 said:

If they dont recieve a text back they might also think you blew them off and dont text you back 

Quite possible. It puts the responsibility squarely on the client. State in your text when she should, or should not, return the text. Otherwise, you may be in for an unpleasant surprise! ;)

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1 hour ago, stevie-2249 said:

If they dont recieve a text back they might also think you blew them off and dont text you

 

 

Or its quite possible the lady doesn't get texts....llike me....or they can't reply. 

Edited by Melissa Sterling
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I don't think you have to worry about returning their texts. I like to give a provider about an hour to return my text, my thinking being if she is in a session she will answer my text after that session is finished. I feel not getting an answer just means she is not available and I don't take it personally. But, if it is somebody you have seen before you should answer it the next day, provided he gave you any clue to him being attached or not. The only times not getting an answer is rude is when a dialogue has been started and she's asking for my information, then I hear nothing back. Voice mail is different also, if I leave a message I hope to get a call back, even if it's the next day. But I have learned to not take that too personally either. I've noticed that if I don't receive a call back fairly quickly I won't get one at all.  It's very nice when the Ladies do put their preferred method of contact in the ad- the less confusing, the better for me. You only have to tell me 3 times and I understand. I might be the reason  there are so many ads that say "NO TEXT NO TEXT NO TEXT".

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It seems that established members, us newer ones too, are suggesting to just do what feels right by the case... BTW welcome to the board.  Boulder's looking to be in good graces.

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On June 10, 2016 at 2:50 PM, MsAlyssaHughes said:

Hello TOB,

Yesterday I put my phone away around 6pm and didn't check it again until 7am this morning. I received several text messages during that time meaning these texts were meant to be seen and replied to hours ado. I began to wonder whether I should be polite and text back or maybe leave the texts unanswered due to the risk of reaching someone at home or somewhere where their phone may be picked up by someone other than themselves. I don't want to be rude nor do I want to cause anyone undue stress. Advise?

Kindly,

Alyssa H.

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What a great question! I've always wondered if I should inquire again or just blow a gal off as not interested. I usually have done the later because I'm such a great catch (Lol). But sometimes I wonder if I should have made a greater effort and possibly connected with an ATF. I think if you text you need to expect a return message, at any time. So I'd vote for texting away! I prefer it over voicemail.

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Caution. Always the right choice. They texted once. They can do it again. 

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If you're concerned about it, why not set up an auto reply when you're not available?

The one thing we all tend to forget (or we never knew) about text messages is that they are not considered instant by wireless carriers. There's no guarantee that the message will be sent quickly or that it will make it to its destination at all, but we still rely on it for fast communication. It's kinda weird.

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On Saturday, June 11, 2016 at 11:53 AM, stevie-2249 said:

If they dont recieve a text back they might also think you blew them off and dont text you back 

This is such a  dilemma  for me.

I have specific days off, and generally dont even read my messages or voicemails, nonetheless respond on those days. I tend to err on the side of caution & do not respond if its been more than several hours  if it's Not clearly appropriate to call back.

But thend some guys assume that I am just rude  >.< 

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20 hours ago, daaacz said:

If you're concerned about it, why not set up an auto reply when you're not available?

The one thing we all tend to forget (or we never knew) about text messages is that they are not considered instant by wireless carriers. There's no guarantee that the message will be sent quickly or that it will make it to its destination at all, but we still rely on it for fast communication. It's kinda weird.

daacz, it's true sometimes texts do get lost somewhere in the telecommunication world then pop up several hours later. My service did that quite often with my previous carrier. BTW, how could I setup an auto reply?

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Thank you all for your insight! I will be using my intuition combined with my common scene and side oi

On 6/11/2016 at 2:13 PM, Raoul said:

This is extraordinary. Your profile says you are 24 years old. A 24 year old woman who doesn't check her phone for 13 hours? I'm not sure this is possible. Have you been contacted by the news media? This could be a big story.

lol! Don't get me wrong I am on my personal phone with snapchat, fb quite a bit. However, I have a separate phone for this hobby!! I figured I'd get a quick prepaid since I must advertise the phone number and it shows up in google with my pics.

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Thank you all for your input! It's clear as mud now ;) I will be cautious and may even ask new clients to call, leaving text privileges to those I am familiar with.

XoXo

Alyssa H.

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Alyssa,

Do what the heck you want to do - it's your business!  Nearly all of the ladies I see want me to text them, and even though I don't generally care to text, I am happy to do so if that is their preference.  I guess I would rather play text-tag than voicemail tag. I wouldn't worry one little bit about responding a few hours later or even a day or two later - the number of guys who are stupid enough to text you from their actual real world phone is so small, it isn't likely to cause a scene.  Just realize that those of us (almost everyone) who have a separate phone for these sporting pursuits also turn them off for long periods of time, so you may also get a bit of a delay in response. Like I said in an earlier thread, if you are going to insist that they call you, please answer the phone, or at least return the voice mails (you would be surprised how many people do not).

The bottom line, however, is that there are enough things in this sport that might make you uncomfortable, you ought to be able to insist on the communication mode that makes you most comfortable.  If the guys don't like it, fuckem!   (Ummm, actually, I guess you wouldn't fuckem).

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On 6/15/2016 at 4:52 AM, MsAlyssaHughes said:

how could I setup an auto reply?

This is might be a moot point because you said you're getting a burner phone (which I heartily endorse).  To set autoreply, you would need a smartphone.  If you have an android, you can just search for "sms autoreply" in the app store and you'll find plenty of options. I'm not an iPhone user because they aren't as customizable as Androids, and I was surprised to learn that this isn't available, but "Vacation" mode might work.  Take a look at this link: https://support.apple.com/kb/PH2627?locale=en_US. It says it will reply to all "messages." I don't know whether this refers only to email or to email an text. If you use Google Voice, you could probably kludge something together using Gmail and email rules.  That would be a lot of work, though.

Good luck!

Edited by daaacz
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How about this..."Hey, I'm sorry but I'm just now seeing your message from yesterday, I had my phone off and was taking a personal day. I'd like to schedule with you if you're still interested. Have a nice day, hope to hear back from you soon."

I think people are understanding that no one is on duty 24-7 and that it's perfectly acceptable to turn off the phone from time to time and enjoy yourself and this beautiful Summertime weather. Just my 2 cents...

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20 minutes ago, MrBigShot said:

... I think people are understanding that no one is on duty 24-7 and that it's perfectly acceptable to turn off the phone from time to time and enjoy yourself and this beautiful Summertime weather. Just my 2 cents...

The problem, as has been stated many times, is not how does she explain a delayed response to his message, but rather that unless he left specific instructions to the contrary she doesn't know if a reply will 'out' him. 

LADIES:

1) Unless instructed otherwise, please let old messages disappear. 

2) If you don't want to hear from a guy, tell him. 

FELLAS:

1) If her reply is not time sensitive, tell her.

2) If she doesn't respond & you're still interested, try again. 

3) And if she tells you to buzz off, leave her alone!

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Texting- should we or shouldn't we. Text is and always been a" as time permits kinda thing". The same thing goes for cell phones too. I am a hold out for the old days before cell phones, pagers,  voice messaging, texting, sexting, selfies... all that tech crap. It is for me to use when I have the time to. Sometimes a person just doesn't want to be found at that moment.  When I am off doing real life stuff- this business, my phone is not a priority. Email and voice mail can and will be read - when time permits. So leave a message with all the pertinent info in it. Like " when is a good time to call back".

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On 06/11/2016 at 7:48 AM, Bora Bora said:

I think you are right, it's better just to wait until they contact you again, unless they explicitly mentioned something like call me back or text me back to this number at any time.

 

On 06/11/2016 at 6:57 AM, Melissa Sterling said:

I think you have the right thought process.  Many providers follow the same etiquette for returning phone calls. Discretion being the number one key, always best to let them contact you again. 

Yup, this is my mode of operation too. 

Better to be safe than sorry, I would never want to risk getting a gentleman caught between a rock and a hard spot. ;)

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On 06/14/2016 at 9:23 AM, daaacz said:

If you're concerned about it, why not set up an auto reply when you're not available?

The one thing we all tend to forget (or we never knew) about text messages is that they are not considered instant by wireless carriers. There's no guarantee that the message will be sent quickly or that it will make it to its destination at all, but we still rely on it for fast communication. It's kinda weird.

Excellent! That sounds like the perfect solution and after a lifetime of corporate world I'm almost embarrassed that it never occurred to me.  lol ;-)

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I agree with the consensus. Don't text back after a half hour or hour at most unless some exception to that guideline has been communicated to you by the individual.

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