Clingy Client Won't Stop Contacting Me

[Guest]

I started a thread about this prior to the upgrade and I can't find it to add to it.

Anyways, lots of great advice was offered on how to let this client (who is located on the East Coast) know that I am only available as a Provider and not an Emotional Therapist.

Per many great suggestions I let him know that I wasn't available to travel to see him due to school and work. Now he's literally emailing and calling at crazy hours.

This is an email I received yesterday: "my landlady tried to [take sexual advantage of me**] me last night. If you can find it in your heart to call, please do. It's all reimbursable." 

The follow on voicemails have been similar. 

He's on P411. I'm not sure if I should contact them and let them know he's gone "stage 4 clinger" or if they would even care. This is clearly a case where he is unwell and won't leave me alone. I feel as if any further contact with him would just fuel the fire or his twisted desires even more. 

Advice - please!!

 

**note: I altered his words in hopes to avoid an infraction for forbidden topic. He used the actual word in his email and voicemail.  

[Lucy Kitten]

So you ignore him and you move on. Most people when they stop getting the attention they seek move on. You can block his calls, choose not listen to his voice messages and block his email. You're not in a relationship so the regular courtesies don't apply. Alerting P411 to an issue that is non-threatening and leaves you in no immediate danger seems excessive. Especially when you haven't taken the step to remove his ability to contact you.

I am an emotional therapist, it's one of the many hats I wear and falls under the umbrella of "providing".  I am not a professional by any stretch but one of the services that we provide that is more important than any other is discretion. As weird as it is a non-judgmental stranger is often the best choice to unload some stress on. Providers are discreet, totally detached from a client's life and usually more open minded given our profession of choice and all that makes for the perfect therapist. We providers deal with the lonely and the socially awkward all the time and an overly clingy is not uncommon. It's just something else providers need to learn how to deal with.

This guy wont be the first and wont be the last and the best you can do is learn from the experience so you don't have it happen again in the future. You can learn to recognize the potentially clingy behaviors and what you do that may trigger them. At this point in my "career" my reject list is longer than my contact list. Long gone are the days I spent stressing over some dude who does not know how to act like a responsible adult.

[Guest]

Thanks Lucy!!

I tried ignoring him initially but he wouldn't stop. I guess I should have just kept doing so. Time to set up delete and block filters on email/phone. 

[muckleskelpin]

I started a thread about this prior to the upgrade and I can't find it to add to it.

Anyways, lots of great advice was offered on how to let this client (who is located on the East Coast) know that I am only available as a Provider and not an Emotional Therapist.

Per many great suggestions I let him know that I wasn't available to travel to see him due to school and work. Now he's literally emailing and calling at crazy hours.

This is an email I received yesterday: "my landlady tried to [take sexual advantage of me**] me last night. If you can find it in your heart to call, please do. It's all reimbursable." 

The follow on voicemails have been similar. 

He's on P411. I'm not sure if I should contact them and let them know he's gone "stage 4 clinger" or if they would even care. This is clearly a case where he is unwell and won't leave me alone. I feel as if any further contact with him would just fuel the fire or his twisted desires even more. 

Advice - please!!

 

**note: I altered his words in hopes to avoid an infraction for forbidden topic. He used the actual word in his email and voicemail.  

 

 

[muckleskelpin]

Report it to P411. 

 

[GinaXXX]

Report it to P411. 

 

We like to make notes about things like this, and we can always send a Stop Contact notice (which has to be abided by both parties or the account(s) are revoked.

So you ignore him and you move on. Most people when they stop getting the attention they seek move on. You can block his calls, choose not listen to his voice messages and block his email. You're not in a relationship so the regular courtesies don't apply. (snip)

We providers deal with the lonely and the socially awkward all the time and an overly clingy is not uncommon. It's just something else providers need to learn how to deal with.

This guy wont be the first and wont be the last and the best you can do is learn from the experience so you don't have it happen again in the future. You can learn to recognize the potentially clingy behaviors and what you do that may trigger them. At this point in my "career" my reject list is longer than my contact list. Long gone are the days I spent stressing over some dude who does not know how to act like a responsible adult.

Exactly. Couldn't have said it better.

The day you learn to delete and ignore energy-suckers (both provider and client), will be the day you are set free!!!

Always,

Gina

 

[crazyb]

Justina, I think you need to block him and report him to P411. I have had clients that call me at allhours of the night when they got flat tires or ran out of gas,   those are customers that got fired.

 

Good luck Justina

[Guest]

Tell him to stop contacting you and be done.

[Mustang87]

I wouldn't have anymore contact with him at all.  I would block his number and email and would consider reporting him to p411, although I'm not a member there and don't know their criteria.

You don't owe him anything and can't make his problems your problems.  You are know more responsible for helping him then is his barber or his garbage man.  Block him out of your life and move on.

[fork]

Anyways, lots of great advice was offered on how to let this client (who is located on the East Coast) know that I am only available as a Provider and not an Emotional Therapist.

I think it's clear that in hindsight that was not great advice, it was BAD advice. Your intuition told you this guy was different, or you wouldn't have posted to the forum. He is bad news, and even telling him that you were available as a provider is giving him too much hope. Listen to your intuition.

The answer then and now was "You're fired as a client, do not contact me again". And block him on all venues.

[Guest]

 

This is an email I received yesterday: "my landlady tried to [take sexual advantage of me**] me last night. If you can find it in your heart to call, please do. It's all reimbursable." 

Wowzers. That's a little bonkers. Sorry you have to deal with that. Now, any info on where this landlady is and how I can rent from her? Or better yet,  you happen to be renting a guest room? 

[Guest]

I can understand why the guy started acting like this. 

You have to realize you turely love your job and it shows. Your super sexy, and you put in a lot of extra time to care of your body. Your funny, witty and fun. I would say your level headed and personality is genuine. Im not saying his behavior is ok. Because its not. There is time where communication should be cut off. I can see how you would become aggravated.

He wants to keep you lol 

 

 

[Jez UaBriain]

Oh the perils and joys of hooker-dom. We get it all. The emotional gambit of the lovelorn and the lonely.

Anywhere from marriage proposals to having a troll threaten to cut your throat (true). 

You feel for the guy Justine is having problems with. He obviously is not playing with a full deckj

in the relationship sector. And it does seem like he is the guy who if your nice to him, it justs rev's him up.

Or, he could just be a guy who likes to se how far he can go. Either way I would stop his contacting you.

Some of these guys just think that we are always sitting by our phones, pining away -waiting for their attention.

And couldn't possibly have family that loves us.

 

[pitbull]

Now I can see why some providers say they prefer married guys. I agree with the others who encourage a total cut-off. It's really annoying Justina, and she does not need the drama in her life. The poor sap will find another person to bother. 

[BadBoy]

Off Topic:  Jez - great to see you communicating again.  Hope you are feeling better!

[Aurelian]

I actually had a provider cling to me, which was very weird. I slowly stopped responding, first by taking hours/days to even reply, and then with very, very short messages. 

[jhooker]

I was seeing a provider over about a year and a half and we became close, she would stay for hours and cuddle and watch TV after a session. Then all of a sudden she wouldnt return texts for appointment requests or emails. Since then I have moved on but I still send her an occasional email. I would love to see her again. Im not going to say I fell in love with her, but If circumstances permitted I would seriously consider a relationship with her and possible marriage, but I did, or felt we did maybe cross the line a little bit from client to lover so to speak. In my case she just cut me off, I have no idea if she is still in the business or not, although I have not seen any recent reviews. All I would ask is for you girls to at least reply and politly yet clearly tell us to get lost. If you don't say anything then we don'y know and if we really liked you we may send a note every now and then in hopes of seeing you again. I know there are creeps out there, but I can only speak for myself, I can pick up women at a club, Im not what I would consider handsome, but I have over the years learned how to talk to women, and just knowing that is more important than looks I have found, so Im not a clingy dude, but I would appreciate a woman letting me know when to go elsewhere for excitement instead of ignoring me hoping I'll get the hint.

[pfunk]

 I would appreciate a woman letting me know when to go elsewhere for excitement instead of ignoring me hoping I'll get the hint.

Unfortunately, that's how most of us (people) operate. We don't want confrontation, or threats, when we break it off, and we don't want to hurt others' feelings, either. If she stops responding to your messages, put it behind you (I know that's not easy).

[jhooker]

pfunk, yeah already moving on, just my take on the topic about clingy guys. If a girl leaves the door of hope open for a guy to wonder then they might keep trying to make contact.