Question on contacting provider etiquette...

[Guiltypleasures007]

I'm a bit perplexed, and looking for some guidance. I'm new to this, and sent a provider an email saying I'd like to meet, but had no references, so was wondering how we could work around that if possible. No response, which was fine. I then saw a girl, so emailed girl A back saying I now had 1 reference if that would suffice. Still no response...no problem. Week later figured I'd give it one last shot and sent email saying I was still interested in meeting. I got a response saying "Are you clowning Me or are you serious?". I responded apologizing for whatever I'd done wrong. Obviously no response back.

Did I break some cardinal rule in emailing a girl a few times to see if she was available? I've emailed many girls looking to meet, with no response. I didn't think a couple follow up emails was the end of the world. I'll call in the future if no response to email, but was curious what the guidelines are for reaching out to a new provider.

[fork]

The only rules are common sense and courtesy. It doesn't sound like you broke either rule, it sounds like she's a dingbat.

[juanduh]

When first started this was very common. It was best summed up by destiny. If one girl does not answer pick up the phone untill one will. I really wanted to see one girl she requested that I fo p411 so I did. Then she said I needed some reviews so I did. She still would not see me even after all her request were made. She was very bueatiful and had fantastic reviews. I moved on and have since found many other wonderful women

[inkspot]

[quote=G " I responded apologizing for whatever I'd done wrong. Obviously no response back.

Did I break some cardinal rule"

[Goggles Paesano]

Although I've "lurked" around this board for many years, I've only seen a small handful of providers. Therefore, I still consider myself to be a "newbie".

With that being said, I've also had experiences very similar to what you're describing... I think many "johns" probably have at some point.

You didn't do anything wrong and I don't think you needed to apologize (you have nothing to apologize for).

My advice... don't try to get inside the head of a hooker and figure her out. There are a lot of hookers out there that are just straight up batsh*t crazy. Chances are you'll never know why they don't respond or why they sometimes say the weird cryptic things that they do. So don't lose any sleep over it. Frankly, it sounds like you probably dodged a bullet.

Just move on... there are plenty of ladies to choose from.

Hookers always talk about how this is a "business", yet many of them totally lack professionalism. They always expect their clients to be courteous, professional, respectful... yada, yada, yada... but too often it seems to be a one-way street. If they aren't going to show you the same courtesy and respect that you show them, then you're better off taking your business elsewhere.

[Guiltypleasures007]

Good stuff guys! Plenty of fish and all that....

[pfunk]

Despite all of the "she's a flake" posts on this thread, none of us know exactly what you wrote in your emails, or how it came across to her.

You may have said something to frighten, offend, sadden, or anger her, without realizing it. No one knows but her, and maybe you.

At this point, I do agree, move on. No sense in trying to see someone, who doesn't want to see you.

Best of luck!

[juanduh]

On that last note. What makes a provider not proceed with a potiential client. What makes them scared or afraid. What red flags do ASP look for to not proceed. I would love to hear from the ladies on this one

[worksmartnothard]

On that last note. What makes a provider not proceed with a potiential client. What makes them scared or afraid. What red flags do ASP look for to not proceed. I would love to hear from the ladies on this one

It could be so many things but I shall take a stab and let you know what I might react to in an email that would necessitate me not meeting.

Sexual content, arrogance, a sense of entitlement, throwing around reviewer status, telling me how hot they are, a sense of elevated expectations that I possibly would find impossible to meet to name a few.

[Bit Banger]

It could be so many things but I shall take a stab and let you know what I might react to in an email that would necessitate me not meeting.

..., throwing around reviewer status, ...

Thank you for taking a stab at this tricky subject. Most of you list should make common sense. However, please describe the difference between "throwing around reviewer status" and identifying oneself by their board handle? I realize there is a distinction, but I'm not sure where the line is crossed.

[Guest]

It can sometimes be annoying if a client keeps contacting me after I have ignored a few of his messages- especially if it feels like he has a sense of entitlement where he feels he deserves to have me write him back. If I ignore a message from a client, it's often because he didn't play by the rules in some way. The other reason (but this happens rarely) is that I have gotten too many emails recently and can't keep up.

The best way to make first contact with a provider (imho, some other providers may disagree) is to either answer screening questions exactly as she has laid them out in her ads or website, or to ask what sort of information she needs to move forward if she hasn't made it clear. Also saying the date, time, duration of the session, and place you'd like to meet is all really helpful information. Anything else is superfluous.

It sounds like you did everything right OP- other than perhaps sending too many messages once you had already been ignored.

[Goggles Paesano]

It can sometimes be annoying if a client keeps contacting me after I have ignored a few of his messages- especially if it feels like he has a sense of entitlement where he feels he deserves to have me write him back. If I ignore a message from a client, it's often because he didn't play by the rules in some way. The other reason (but this happens rarely) is that I have gotten too many emails recently and can't keep up.

The best way to make first contact with a provider (imho, some other providers may disagree) is to either answer screening questions exactly as she has laid them out in her ads or website, or to ask what sort of information she needs to move forward if she hasn't made it clear. Also saying the date, time, duration of the session, and place you'd like to meet is all really helpful information. Anything else is superfluous.

It sounds like you did everything right OP- other than perhaps sending too many messages once you had already been ignored.

I wouldn't describe that as "entitlement". I think the client DOES deserve to have you write him back (unless, of course, he has violated some rule/guideline that was clearly stated beforehand) but to just straight up ignore him for some other reason just aint cool at all.

If I contact a provider, be it text, phone call or email, and I am courteous and respectful, then yes... I expect (and deserve) a response. It's just common courtesy. Not just in this profession, but in ANY profession.

[Mustang87]

I wouldn't describe that as "entitlement". I think the client DOES deserve to have you write him back (unless, of course, he has violated some rule/guideline that was clearly stated beforehand) but to just straight up ignore him for some other reason just aint cool at all.

If I contact a provider, be it text, phone call or email, and I am courteous and respectful, then yes... I expect (and deserve) a response. It's just common courtesy. Not just in this profession, but in ANY profession.

I don't agree about "deserving" a response, but certainly I feel it is professional to give one. If you are advertising a service, and someone contacts you for the service, the lease you can do is reply. I've only experienced it a couple of time, (no response) and always get the message and move. But I don't think it is too much to ask for at least something like "sorry, don't want to book" or "not available".

Also, if there is something about the request a lady receives, it might not be a bad idea to point out the issue, and state for that reason I don't want to see you.

[client#9]

unabashed shill for P411. membership will set you back around 30% of your next hour session, but the time savings of endless emails and uncertainty of that return phone call can be solved with what American Express used to say about membership having benefits

[Crazy Horse]

Thank you for taking a stab at this tricky subject. Most of you list should make common sense. However, please describe the difference between "throwing around reviewer status" and identifying oneself by their board handle? I realize there is a distinction, but I'm not sure where the line is crossed.

+1 from me for this question. I've always try to be up front about who I am when contacting a lady. By giving them my board handle they have access to all my reviews as well as my discussion board posts and after all that they should have an idea of who they're going to meet. In addition if they know any of the ladies I've reviewed but didn't include as a reference they have the option of contacting someone they know as opposed to contacting a stranger about references.

Now I've had it work both ways for me. Some ladies get really excited about meeting me and those sessions usually go very well. Other ladies go "Yuck...no way" or more likely the silent no response mode, which is fine by me there being many fine ladies out there I just move on to find the lady that would like to meet me. Of course that's both extremes of the spectrum most dates fall in the middle where my board handle really makes no difference to them.

I think that if a guy brags about how the lady's business will improve dramatically if he writes her a review that would be crossing the line in a big way.

...Happy Hobbying...

...Crazy Horse...

Edited April 24, 2014 by Crazy Horse
additions

[Goggles Paesano]

+1 from me for this question. I've always try to be up front about who I am when contacting a lady. By giving them my board handle they have access to all my reviews as well as my discussion board posts and after all that they should have an idea of who they're going to meet. In addition if they know any of ladies I've reviewed but didn't include as a reference they have the option of contacting someone they know as opposed to contacting a stranger about references.

Now I've had it work both ways for me. Some ladies get really excited about meeting me and those sessions usually go very well. Other ladies go "Yuck...no way" or more likely the silent no response mode, which is fine by me there being many fine ladies out there I just move on to find the lady that would like to meet me.

...Happy Hobbying...

...Crazy Horse...

I could be totally off the mark here, but my interpretation of "throwing around reviewer status" is that the provider, for whatever reason, may have an aversion to seeing someone who has a significant presence on boards such as this one and has reviewed many providers in the past. Now the reason for such an aversion is beyond me. I guess only the individual provider can really say for sure. Perhaps for security/privacy reasons? Perhaps it's the (perceived) mentality/attitude of some of the more "experienced" johns/reviewers? I dunno... I'm just spitballin' here.

[Crazy Horse]

I could be totally off the mark here, but my interpretation of "throwing around reviewer status" is that the provider, for whatever reason, may have an aversion to seeing someone who has a significant presence on boards such as this one and has reviewed many providers in the past. Now the reason for such an aversion is beyond me. I guess only the individual provider can really say for sure. Perhaps for security/privacy reasons? Perhaps it's the (perceived) mentality/attitude of some of the more "experienced" johns/reviewers? I dunno... I'm just spitballin' here.

Well you're not totally off the mark and to continue the spitballin'. There are a few (very few but they are out there) ladies that know that newbies have very few expectations of what a high quality session entails and are more than happy just to get their nut off with a reasonably attractive lady. Whereas a more experienced hobbyist would expect more before writing a Fantastic or even Very Good review. Now there's absolutely nothing wrong with a 3G experience if that's what the guy is looking for at the moment and 3G's used to be the norm before the internet and reviews. However now that the profession has moved on into the electronic age there are ladies that fondly remember the good old days of the 3G norm and prefer the newbies they can still get it from.

...Happy Hobbying...

...Crazy Horse...

[geecue2]

If you do not have a 411 account, I would say that was the reason. Move on, its tough when you are first starting out.

[Bit Banger]

It can sometimes be annoying if a client keeps contacting me after I have ignored a few of his messages- especially if it feels like he has a sense of entitlement where he feels he deserves to have me write him back. If I ignore a message from a client, it's often because he didn't play by the rules in some way. The other reason (but this happens rarely) is that I have gotten too many emails recently and can't keep up.

The problem with this philosophy/attitude in this era of blind communications (the technical term for transmission w/o acknowledgement of receipt by the addressee - i.e. email, voice mail, etc.) is that the sender, not knowing if transmission was interrupted, delayed, or intentionally ignored, retransmits until an ACK is received. This is, BTW, standard protocol for Ethernet transmissions.

... I expect (and deserve) a response. It's just common courtesy. Not just in this profession, but in ANY profession.

Agreed. It's also the quickest way to stop repeated communications.

... Also saying the date, time, duration of the session, and place you'd like to meet is all really helpful information. ...

This is just common sense and courtesy.

[pitbull]

There are flakes in this profession who just don't respond. There are flakes in every profession who just don't respond.

I tried once a week for three weeks to get a certain lady to call me back, but nothing. She does not accept e-mails, so this was the only way to communicate. I was really respectful, jovial, and courteous, but whatever I said was not cutting it. I will try again someday, however, because...because...I want to.

[Guest]

Hmm, well at the risk of sounding like I'm defending myself (which I usually try to avoid, especially online), I don't think I articulated my point correctly the first time.

Entitlement about feeling you deserve a response becomes a problem if you were weird or rude in the first or second contact. If I missed a first email because I got overwhelmed, and the person contacts me again in a polite way, I usually respond and apologize.

However, I don't always adhere to the "customer is always right" ethos, nor does any business beyond a certain point. Any time anyone is rude because they think they "deserve" something from me- that's a good sign they're not going to be someone I want to work with.

[Goggles Paesano]

Hmm, well at the risk of sounding like I'm defending myself (which I usually try to avoid, especially online), I don't think I articulated my point correctly the first time.

Entitlement about feeling you deserve a response becomes a problem if you were weird or rude in the first or second contact. If I missed a first email because I got overwhelmed, and the person contacts me again in a polite way, I usually respond and apologize.

However, I don't always adhere to the "customer is always right" ethos, nor does any business beyond a certain point. Any time anyone is rude because they think they "deserve" something from me- that's a good sign they're not going to be someone I want to work with.

There is no reason for you to "defend" yourself, as my response to your initial post was not intended to be an "attack" of any kind. I was merely voicing my own opinion on the matter and nothing more. Although I might not necessarily agree with you on certain points (or vice versa) that doesn't mean your view is any less valid than mine or anybody elses.

On that note... of course entitlement about feeling that a response is deserved becomes a problem if the client was "weird or rude in the first or second contact". That clearly goes without saying. But I was talking about a provider being too "uppity" for some arbitrary reason to feel that the lowly (sarcasm) client is deserving of a response.

As far as the customer always being right ethos... I think it is an important policy to recognize and adhere to (in this or any business) as long as that customer is polite and respectful. If I go to a restaurant and order a meal, but the waiter/waitress screws up my order, I'm not going to be a jerk and make a federal case about it, but I am going to (politely and tactfully) bring the mix-up to his/her attention and I expect it to be rectified accordingly. No harm, no foul.

When providing a service, a company or individual is (as far as I'm concerned) obligated to provide a certain level of quality to ensure customer satisfaction... from the moment that initial contact has been established to the conclusion of business. Again, this is all predicated upon the customer being polite and respectful...which going back to the OP's specific situation, it seems that he was.

[Guest]

I expect (and deserve) a response.

Nobody owes you a response via email because you THINK you deserve one. That's some funny stuff.

[Guest Mr.Bubble]

Goggles, there's a long running thread in the private men's room of another website with the title "When the Bitch refuses." The over-weening outrage of many of the guys who have had their widdle feelings hurt is funny as hell to read. I swear, you could be the author of that thread. If you don't like the way a lady is running her business, just leave her the f@!k alone! Is that so hard?

When providing a service, a company or individual is (as far as I'm concerned) obligated to provide a certain level of quality to ensure customer satisfaction... from the moment that initial contact has been established to the conclusion of business. Again, this is all predicated upon the customer being polite and respectful...which going back to the OP's specific situation, it seems that he was.

ob·li·gate

verb (used with object), ob·li·gat·ed, ob·li·gat·ing. 1. to bind or oblige morally or legally: to obligate oneself to purchase a building.

2. to pledge, commit, or bind (funds, property, etc.) to meet an obligation.

where is the moral or legal obligation for ANY business.....let alone hookers....to respond to your contact attempts? Only the cops are obligated to respond to you........no, I take it back.....even the cops don't have to respond, per Supreme Court Ruling.

There is no reason for you to "defend" yourself, as my response to your initial post was not intended to be an "attack" of any kind. I was merely voicing my own opinion on the matter and nothing more. Although I might not necessarily agree with you on certain points (or vice versa) that doesn't mean your view is any less valid than mine or anybody elses.

On that note... of course entitlement about feeling that a response is deserved becomes a problem if the client was "weird or rude in the first or second contact". That clearly goes without saying. But I was talking about a provider being too "uppity" for some arbitrary reason to feel that the lowly (sarcasm) client is deserving of a response.

As far as the customer always being right ethos... I think it is an important policy to recognize and adhere to (in this or any business) as long as that customer is polite and respectful. If I go to a restaurant and order a meal, but the waiter/waitress screws up my order, I'm not going to be a jerk and make a federal case about it, but I am going to (politely and tactfully) bring the mix-up to his/her attention and I expect it to be rectified accordingly. No harm, no foul..

Ya know, sometimes when the hookers are too uppity to respond to certain clients, they're right. Just sayin'

[MAG]

I could be totally off the mark here, but my interpretation of "throwing around reviewer status" is that the provider, for whatever reason, may have an aversion to seeing someone who has a significant presence on boards such as this one and has reviewed many providers in the past. Now the reason for such an aversion is beyond me. I guess only the individual provider can really say for sure. Perhaps for security/privacy reasons? Perhaps it's the (perceived) mentality/attitude of some of the more "experienced" johns/reviewers? I dunno... I'm just spitballin' here.

Some guys try to keep their post-count on this board very high (remind you of anyone?) and then use that "status" to bully hookers into giving them extra perks. They figure the threat of a negative review from an established and vocal board presence will get them free stuff.

As a general rule, guys should probably not volunteer their board handle unless its asked for. If she doesn't want to know it, it probably isn't relevant.

[mj76]

And yes... any hooker who arbitrarily doesn't respond to a john who is polite and courteous in his initial contact IS a flaky bitch.

t

Not necessarily. Even the most courteous person can turn into a huge pain in the ass when faced some kind of rejection. Sometimes it's best to just ignore rather than getting drawn into someone's drama.

[Tailgater]

I've had this happen a few times. I call or email, everything is confirmed (or so I think) and then all communication is stopped. Total limbo. What am I supposed to do? I "think" I have an appointment, but do I? How long should I wait without a response before I assume I've been blown off? I've had it work both ways. Once, I waited 15 minutes past the scheduled appointment time with no communication, so I drove off, only to have the provider call five minutes later and wonder why I left. It definitely makes me appreciate the true professionals a lot more.

[NaughtyNiceGuy]

Did you happen to think this is a legal profession? It's not and doesn't need to adhere to any rules of professional behaviour.

[pitbull]

Did you happen to think this is a legal profession? It's not and doesn't need to adhere to any rules of professional behaviour.

That's the bottom line. Just last week, I called a contractor about an estimate. No response. I called again. No response. I can only surmise that business is so good that the contractor can afford to "blow off" (so to speak) a routine request to spec out a lucrative job.

His lack of response nearly convinced me to do the job myself, and then my wife had a heart attack and called another contractor. I have the will, but not the expertise. When it comes to the hobby, we all have the will and can't do it ourselves -- unfortunately.

[Goggles Paesano]

Did you happen to think this is a legal profession? It's not and doesn't need to adhere to any rules of professional behaviour.

I'm assuming you meant to say "illegal" profession. And yes, I'm well aware of that. But the girls always play the "professional" card when it works to their advantage, so why can't the guys do the same?

Besides, it's just human decency.