Dating

[Guest sophiarose]

I don't think it is lonely at all, but then again I am very content with my own company LOL. I find myself very satisfying

If and when I find someone that I feel will add to my overall life experience, then I would quit immediately. I don't want to lie, nor do i want to escort and date. For me personally I can't do it.

In the situation you mention Adelle, I agree with others in that you need to be honest right off the bat. One thing I can't stand is finding out down the road that the person I am investing my time into has lied to me, or kept important information from me. I prefer honesty right off the bat, if it's something I can get past, then good, and if not, it just wasn't meant to be. Good luck

Oh yeah, I would not put it in your profile on a dating website though! That's a little too soon lol. if you click, then tell them!

[Guest Adelle Ashby]

I have a date tonight, and the guy seems wonderful so far, but I am naive at website dating. This is my first time really trying to go out there after 8years.

I think the way to go is see where it leads, make sure he isn't trying to dupe me, then be honest.

I agree that if it doesn't work out, then that is what is meant to be. I disagree that the first date is the time to tell. I have a feeling a lot of this online dating is only one date. It seems many guys are after sex and it sucks weeding them out.

I like 2bigs post, don't shit where you eat. I agree. I have had many feelings for clients, but generally outside that hour time frame they are different people and it just doesn't jive with my life.

Thanks for all the input, it's much clearer now.

I don't think it is lonely at all, but then again I am very content with my own company LOL. I find myself very satisfying

If and when I find someone that I feel will add to my overall life experience, then I would quit immediately. I don't want to lie, nor do i want to escort and date. For me personally I can't do it.

In the situation you mention Adelle, I agree with others in that you need to be honest right off the bat. One thing I can't stand is finding out down the road that the person I am investing my time into has lied to me, or kept important information from me. I prefer honesty right off the bat, if it's something I can get past, then good, and if not, it just wasn't meant to be. Good luck

Oh yeah, I would not put it in your profile on a dating website though! That's a little too soon lol. if you click, then tell them!

[Guest sophiarose]

Yeah, I stand corrected, I didn't mean necessarily the first date, more when you see there is a connection/second date possibility! You can sure have some horrible first dates, and no need to add to that with the info lol.

I'm not thrilled about having to break the news to someone about my past/present either, but I've been busted before when I quit for a while, so I would be honest next time around!

[stevie]

Is it ok for him to fuck other girls? If your answer is no then you need to get out of the business!! Stop the business when you meet the right guy and you dont have to worry about it.

[Happymon]

Don't shit where you eat

You're gettin' the milk; no need to buy the cow.

Flys, floats or fucks, rent.

[Pirate]

When should I come clean to a guy that I am escort? First date, second? Or should I just put in my profile on the dating website? I am worried that it will attract all the wrong men.

Don't post that you are/were a sex worker on a dating site profile. You are guaranteed to get all the wrong kinds of attention from that.

As for your dates, on a first date if asked "what do you do" (shallow and rude in my opinion), feel free to be vague. Say you are in the "hospitality" business (which sounds far less interesting than the "entertainment" business). If they press you for more details, flat out tell him you aren't interested in discussing your work. If they insist, the date obviously isn't working out and he is not the right guy for you.

I've done the dating thing a few times. Went on the sites, put up a few ads, met about 4 new people a week over the course of a few months. 75% of the time it was obvious within the first 20 minutes that we were not a good match. Most of the time there was not a second date. So don't bother divulging anything too personal during a first date . . . and if you want a nice guy, don't go further than kissing during the first date. If he is a creep or a jerk he will demand more than that, and it is good to find that out early.

Your work is your personal business until at least the third date. Actually, you're under no obligation to tell him what you do until he either proposes to you or asks you to move in with him. But if you've been dating the guy for over a month you should start thinking about telling him.

[urfan]

boys, boys, boys let's not be such obvious hypocrites.

if the situation were reversed, i doubt there's many here who wouldn't jump at the chance to have frequent hot monkey sex with many women and get outrageously overpaid.

[pfunk]

i doubt there's many here who wouldn't jump at the chance to have frequent hot monkey sex with many women and get outrageously overpaid.

These girls have hot monkey sex!?! With clients?!?

I thought they were having "old man breathes hard, and has premature finish" sex!

That's what my dates have!

[Bit Banger]

... if the situation were reversed, i doubt there's many here who wouldn't jump at the chance ...

True, but we're part of that 10% discussed in previous posts.

Also true that while many of us would "date" a provider in a heartbeat, we've already discussed on several occasions the issues some of us would have with an LTR with a working ASP.

[2Big]

Your work is your personal business until at least the third date. Actually, you're under no obligation to tell him what you do until he either proposes to you or asks you to move in with him. But if you've been dating the guy for over a month you should start thinking about telling him.

This is all-around terrible advice. Not being able or willing to answer the question "what do you do..." raises more red flags than a Russian submarine about to crash on an iceberg.

If you're a hooker, then say so, and let the chips fall where they may.

At any rate, a quick google search usually yields that information anyways, so best to come clean right away.

As I've said before, I wouldn't date a hooker. I'd make an exception if the following conditions were met:

1. Has been verifiably out of the business for at least a year.

2. Has deleted, or at least made an honest effort to, delete all traces of her escort work (Websites, ads, reviews, etc.)

3. Is not friends or buddies with past clients.

4. Has undergone a thorough health check for any STDs.

5. Is willing to submit to a criminal background check (no outstanding warrants, or convictions)

6. Good/decent credit.

7. No drug use/history of addiction.

8. No kids/deadbeat dads/boyfriends.

9. Independently able to support herself - "I'm planning to go back to college" doesn't count, sorry, you're too old for that (given the current state of the job market).

[chunky4096]

This is all-around terrible advice. Not being able or willing to answer the question "what do you do..." raises more red flags than a Russian submarine about to crash on an iceberg.

If you're a hooker, then say so, and let the chips fall where they may.

At any rate, a quick google search usually yields that information anyways, so best to come clean right away.

As I've said before, I wouldn't date a hooker. I'd make an exception if the following conditions were met:

1. Has been verifiably out of the business for at least a year.

2. Has deleted, or at least made an honest effort to, delete all traces of her escort work (Websites, ads, reviews, etc.)

3. Is not friends or buddies with past clients.

4. Has undergone a thorough health check for any STDs.

5. Is willing to submit to a criminal background check (no outstanding warrants, or convictions)

6. Good/decent credit.

7. No drug use/history of addiction.

8. No kids/deadbeat dads/boyfriends.

9. Independently able to support herself - "I'm planning to go back to college" doesn't count, sorry, you're too old for that (given the current state of the job market).

Conditions 6-9 would apply to anyone you dated, correct? 4-5 as well, perhaps.

[Sphinx]

It seems many guys are after sex...

Shocked. I am...well...just shocked to hear this. How long has this been going on?

[beachtan]

Whatever decision you make, Adelle, I hope you find someone and the two of you are happy. Although this site is all about physical needs, we all need someone who is an emotional partner. And there are nice guys out there. I hope you find one.

[Montana R.]

Conditions 6-9 would apply to anyone you dated, correct? 4-5 as well, perhaps.

Wow, so even in the "Normal" so to speak world you are asking a lot.. Do you give out applications to your candidates.. Just wondering!!

[Sphinx]

5. Is willing to submit to a criminal background check (no outstanding warrants, or convictions)

6. Good/decent credit.

7. No drug use/history of addiction.

8. No kids/deadbeat dads/boyfriends.

9. Independently able to support herself - "I'm planning to go back to college" doesn't count, sorry, you're too old for that (given the current state of the job market).

I haven't dated anyone since high school that had all of these attributes.

[urfan]

+1. i think you hit it on the proverbial head, beach.

from the hobbyist's perspective, i'd say there are a fair number who'd be amenable to hear them two little words made famous by The Trump 'you're fired', meaning i don't want to see you anymore as a client but let's develop this relationship. that means different things to different people, of course (like take the cover off at some point, for example)

also not mentioned yet is that there is no small satisfaction in knowing your s.o. can have physical 'relations' with other men on a regular basis as her gig but you're the one she comes home to.

think about it: doesn't even the little extra sugar you may get from your atf taste that much sweeter?

if homey can hang with that, you're halfway there.

[Bit Banger]

... also not mentioned yet is that there is no small satisfaction in knowing your s.o. can have physical 'relations' with other men on a regular basis as her gig but you're the one she comes home to.

...

An oh so important part of the equation!!

[2Big]

but you're the one she comes home to.

Yeah, she's coming home with cum stains on her face and a bunch of stale lube in her snatch.

Sounds like you have a romantic evening in store.

[urfan]

i like to call it emotional availability

[urfan]

that's certainly a possibility with the colfax crack whores you probably frequent. too proud for sloppy seconds, are we? keep booking to be the fist trick of the day then.

"I can take a bath and be as clean as the day I was born."

- Jane Fonda in 'Klute'

[Audrey Astor]

I have a lot of thoughts, and some experience with this. All I can say, is run, Addelle, run! Best of luck either way.

[No One In Particular]

Bottom line, I think you should be up front about what you do, and perhaps be prepared to find something else to do if you two become serious and exclusive.

To hide or otherwise obfuscate it is just to invite disaster in the future should your SO somehow come across an old ad, should you run into an old regular, etc.

Think of Rogo and Linda in The Poseidon Adventure.

[chunky4096]

Wow, so even in the "Normal" so to speak world you are asking a lot.. Do you give out applications to your candidates.. Just wondering!!

I haven't dated (other than by the hour) in over 40 years. I was asking 2Big. I wouldn't know where to start, much less have a screening process. Just a wife and rent-a-mistresses for me please.

Lord help me if the wife gives me the heave ho. I'd hobby my way to the poor house.

[mjk_79]

Honesty right from the start is the best way to begin relationship.

That may be true in most cases, but I think that it'll just ensure that she never gets into a real relationship. It's going to scare away a lot of people.

Get your hooks in first, then break it to him. If you can't do that, your only other option would be to stop escorting.

[Guest Jake]

Yeah....do this...cuz creating severe emotional trauma can't be acheived unless the feelings run deep:rolleyes:

Get your hooks in first, then break it to him. If you can't do that, your only other option would be to stop escorting.

Adelle...love yourself first...and I don't mean with toys (yeah...I remember:p) Are you happy...or at least content...being an escort? If not, quit being an escort...not for some guy that you might want to have a relationship with, but because Adelle needs to love Adelle. If you like being an escort...great! Embrace it...it's part of who you are...and part of the person someone else will need to embrace as well.

I've said before in other threads that I wouldn't be involved in a serious relationship with an active escort. On the other hand, Pfunk is...and he seems very comfortable with his choice. Does that make him nuts??? Does that make me nuts??? No...it's all about personal choice. You're going to meet some guys that will run for the hills when you tell them, you're going to meet some guys that will try to accept, but can't....and you're going to meet some guys that have no issue with it. We're not all things to all people. Be who you want to be...and if someone else doesn't like it...too bad for them.

I don't think a first date is a great time to divulge this type of occupation, but 2nd, 3rd, or 4th date...depending on how things go. You're a sweetheart Adelle. If you're happy with who you are...you'll find someone else who's happy with who you are as well.

[Vic Kosslovich]

Fascinating question.... I hate to look at your life like it's a psychology project but bear with me.

I'm going to reverse the question and ask, "when would I want to find out that the lady I'm dating was an escort?"

1. Before the first date? This would be a bit of a shock to me. I would probably never even make the phone call. Those that would make the call might be kinky and into this kind of thing, believe that you are a "sure thing", or think to themselves, "I'm not perfect so who am I to judge?"

- Your job would then be to decide what type of person I am and if that matches what you want/are comfortable with.

2. After X dates when I (the guy) was starting to feel there was a connection? If I was feeling that connection, the shock might even be greater for me. I might run screaming to the free clinic. I might feel as though you've lied to me through omission by leaving this out. Or I might decide that (again) I'm not perfect, who am I to judge. A key question here might be, "Do you plan to continue in this business?"

3. After X plus dates when I'm now deeply in love with you? I think it would be more difficult to be understanding at this time. Even if I were the forgiving type it would be hard to find this out way down the road.

4. Never? This might be fine from my perspective but were I the lady I would live in constant fear of being found out.

If I were in your shoes I would look at 2 above and say, "ok, after X dates it's time to decide. Is this guy the kind of guy that can handle it, or will he turn it on me?" If he was the former I would let him know before we got too deep (level 3). If he was the latter I would politely break it off.

My .02 and worth almost all of that.....

Vic

Edited December 15, 2012 by Vic Kosslovich
incomplete

[Vic Kosslovich]

Angela.... there's a lot of truth in your response. Don't know you, but good luck.

Vic

[Bit Banger]

...

I'm going to reverse the question and ask, "when would I want to find out that the lady I'm dating was an escort?"

...

Interesting. I would have reversed the question to read, "When would you want to find out that the guy was seeing escorts on a regular basis?"

[boink36]

Interesting. I would have reversed the question to read, "When would you want to find out that the guy was seeing escorts on a regular basis?"

I don't tell them for several weeks. then, when they are hooked good I drop the bomb on them. it's the only fair and honest way to do it.

[Vic Kosslovich]

Bit Banger... So you're suggesting the lady is not an escort but the guy she is seeing has been visiting them? If so, that's a great question but I think it's off topic and should be a different thread. I was trying to answer Adelle's question from the perspective of when the guy would want to or need to know.

That would be an interesting question to ask the group. I'll bet most guys never confess.