What's Your Perspective?

[Calisurfgirl]

Before deciding upon the title of this topic, I had to take several deep meditative breathes in  through the nose and slowly exhaling, exiting the mouth. Repeating this several times until I grounded myself so I can respectfully inquire another providers perspective or that of the hobbyist. 

Question 1: As hobbyists when reaching out to, engaging and exchanging pleasantries, to expect the provider to accommodate the hobbyist because he is compartmentalize or generating unrealistic stereotypes? (Example Below)

I will provide an analogy we can all understand to an extent or degree. If you are planning a trip to denver and are looking at accommodations on priceline and/or some other site that generates listing for lodging in the area. You see the Hyatt Regency in DTC with ⭐️⭐️⭐️, then the Motel 6 in lakewood with ⭐️ 1/2 stars, or lastly the Four Seasons Ritz-Carlton with ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ 1/2 is it fair to believe that yes they all provide lodging but is it fair to ask the Ritz-Carlton to accept the Motel 6 denomination.  

Question 2: Does the hobbyist believe that since he is recognized as the term used here and some other similar sites as "HOBBYIST" that we as providers see this as a hobby and not a means to take care of a plethora of everyday responsibilities like yourself? That the provider is filing a schedule C as an independent contractor or other related title used to describe a brand or business? (EXAMPLE BELOW) 

If I made an appointment at a trendy hair salon, after researching salons in the area if looked at criteria like who provided the best service that I particularly required , excellent reviews and generated amazing results providing a superb experience at the time of my intinal contact to the completion of appointment. But I as a patron understand that they are limited on time to see a person like additional employment/engagements outside of the salon but as a patron if I book an appointment and then unsuccessfully am unable to go for what ever reason. Do you know what happens? Ask your wife or girlfriend. They charge your for thr service because it is time the preserved for me a a patron and I failed to make it. That's business and they as a business have that right to do so. Because of the listed reasons I wanted them to provide services to my hair. 

This is why most require deposits because it is not a hobby to the provider. That is why a provider is not a hobbyist. The use and actual definition of either word honesty should not have to be rendered a requirement within TOB backpage, Tryst sites like that i could understand but not here of all places. Right!

 

 

 

[Bit Banger]

1) No, I would not expect The Ritz to accept Motel 6 rates. Nor would I accept Motel 6 service at The Ritz; I expect bellhops, etc.  An interesting thing is that some amenities (Wi-Fi, breakfast) are included at Motel 6 and up charges at the high end hotels.🥴

2) Agreed, missed appointments w/o 24hr notice (NCNS) deserve a cancellation fee.  IMHO that works both ways.  I have had to pay for a Dr’s appt when I showed up 1 hr late (thank you iCalendar).

I have recently noticed that some industries have become loosy-goosy with their appointments.  Don’t think of showing up for your motor bike oil change appointment and expect to wait.  The appt is just a ‘drop off’ time.  They’ll service your bike in the next day or two.  My auto dealer’s service department doesn’t even bother making appointments; it’s all first come, first serve.

Edited August 12, 2022 by Bit Banger

[Mr.Pink]

I don't understand the tangents, or overly complicated analogies you were using, if you want to require a deposit, just say so in your ad, they'll either agree, or go somewhere else. No need to make a mountain out of a molehill. 

[Calisurfgirl]

5 hours ago, Mr.Pink said:

I don't understand the tangents, or overly complicated analogies you were using, if you want to require a deposit, just say so in your ad, they'll either agree, or go somewhere else. No need to make a mountain out of a molehill. 

Mr Pink , I always enjoy our banter throughout the course of my  attendance and active participation on this board. I applaud you, because at least you are genuine and authentic you don't skate around your own opinion.

But both of the analogies was to maybe put in perspective without offending a provider or providers actually or hobbyist, guests that are perusing the site. To accommodate the rules and guidelines that we as Community must follow while on the site. The "hobbyist", have more generosity with what they are allowed to ask and or state within the parameters of the site as we all well know. Even though it's not your exchange of funds that's required on the site that is reserved for the "provider."

I'm not going on a rant, or a tangent. I'm just frustrated. Also it is very easy to discern that analogy both of them Priceline would be considered this site lodging would be considered the activities that the site is home too. The hotels are considered to be the providers listing on this site myself included. But as a gentleman the other hobbyist so eloquently stated when replying to this topic if the Ritz-Carlton provides absolute Ritz-Carlton the entire time from the initial contact to the conclusion of that session seamlessly. Meaning the ambiance, the details, the conversation, the companionship, that includes hygiene, Etc. And the photographs like that of Priceline actually 100% render the person on the other side of the door that you are going to see. The reviews may even understate how great of an experience the Ritz-Carlton is. That's what I'm saying.

Just because an individual contacts a provider and they say this, " U AVAILABLE, or 🌹 ROSES?" Does not mean that provider or let's go back to the analogy the Ritz-Carlton does not answer the phone or speak to a potential guest in that manner do they. In fact if you were to email the Ritz-Carlton about reservation they would say to you to please call about inquiry they'd have a better gauge or scope of what you would like your stay to be like because they're in the hospitality industry and they want to provide the very best service from start to finish I can't speak for all providers but I could speak for myself. So when you speak to somebody for 2 hours in the phone and engage in conversation with them and they render a time they would like to see you and you both agree upon that and you let them know no deposit required but if you do not show up and or have respect enough to reschedule when you do call you will be charged for the length of that actual appointment and when that person says haha not going to happen it's not okay because a small business of any size or any business for that matter starts with an individual it starts with a person unless providers are not people too do you understand I hope I made that clear without offending anybody or going against guidelines and hurting anybody's feelings because it's honest.  The truth is not going to please everyone but it needs to be said and observed, at the very least respected.

5 hours ago, Mr.Pink said:

I don't understand the tangents, or overly complicated analogies you were using, if you want to require a deposit, just say so in your ad, they'll either agree, or go somewhere else. No need to make a mountain out of a molehill.

 

5 hours ago, Mr.Pink said:

I don't understand the tangents, or overly complicated analogies you were using, if you want to require a deposit, just say so in your ad, they'll either agree, or go somewhere else. No need to make a mountain out of a molehill. 

Edited August 12, 2022 by Calisurfgirl

[Phishingcoast]

Hi I am new to the TOB. I am planning a trip to Denver and this platform is unique. I live in SoCal and go through the more traditional sites, Denver has a vibrant community here. My thoughts on the questions posted above 1. I find it interesting that “donations” are not listed on posts. My assumption is that while one is browsing they have a budget that does not meet expectations so they feel the need to haggle. 

[Calisurfgirl]

7 hours ago, Bit Banger said:

1) No, I would not expect The Ritz to accept Motel 6 rates. Nor would I accept Motel 6 service at The Ritz; I expect bellhops, etc.  An interesting thing is that some amenities (Wi-Fi, breakfast) are included at Motel 6 and up charges at the high end hotels.🥴

2) Agreed, missed appointments w/o 24hr notice (NCNS) deserve a cancellation fee.  IMHO that works both ways.  I have had to pay for a Dr’s appt when I showed up 1 hr late (thank you iCalendar).

I have recently noticed that some industries have become loosy-goosy with their appointments.  Don’t think of showing up for your motor bike oil change appointment and expect to wait.  The appt is just a ‘drop off’ time.  They’ll service your bike in the next day or two.  My auto dealer’s service department doesn’t even bother making appointments; it’s all first come, first serve.

Thank you, your observation and reply are appreciated. Great minds think alike. Because if the Ritz-Carlton is evaluating set terms, a standard above most it should actuallyprovide services to those whom wish to stay there, seamlessly every time.

Continuing with this analogy. The Ritz-Carlton receives their guests without hiccups, the photographs of their rooms are updated, and accurate, they're linen is crisp, clean, and thread count is impeccable. The conversation is intelligent and compliments the ambiance That is why you do not see gangbangers staying at the Ritz-Carlton unless they have a premium recording contract producing platinum albums.

In reply to Mr Pink, I stated, "I can't speak for other providers but I will speak for myself". I wish we could play Never Have I Ever. If we could, I would say with confidence never have I ever canceled an appointment when someone was on their way. Never have I ever been sitting in a bathroom flicking a lighter, behaving unstable. Never have I ever disrespected the person that was so interested in scheduling with me. I would not mind rendering compensation to the Ritz-Carlton.

I found it ironic and amusing the use of doctor's office anology, most hobbyist the very least those that have either inquired or scheduled with myself know my career path away from this site or hobby. As frustrated as I am, knowing the investment. That hobbys and trends are generally temporary. Provided a ear to ear grin 😁 on my face which is actually me. No need to email Nev from the popular show on MTV,  "catfish".

Edited August 12, 2022 by Calisurfgirl

[stevie-2249]

Calisurfgirl you sure are long winded when yoo write and respond, wholy dang

[CountryGentleman]

I don't really understand the questions, but I'll give this a shot.  Obviously, I can't speak for anyone but me...

1. If you're asking about "hobbyists" asking for discounts:  I never do that.  I assume that ladies have taken the time to make proper assessments of their needs and potential and are charging what they believe to be what will meet those needs given that potential.

2. If you're asking if we understand the dynamic, or do we believe you are "hobbying" as well.  I understand the arrangement and my position in it.  For me it's a lot of emotional and fun things, but for you it's a business and a way for you to make the money needed to live.  There are exceptions of course, and since this business is so intimate, it can sometimes be hard to separate the emotions involved.  

In general, I'm in awe of the ladies in this industry.  Not only do you run your own business, which is hard enough, but you regularly deal with some of the worst customers there are.  All while doing it with unmistakable strength, grace, and beauty!

[parkercole]

OMG, I mean oh my gosh. Occam's razor for sure!

[tide32]

On 8/14/2022 at 5:56 AM, stevie-2249 said:

Calisurfgirl you sure are long winded when yoo write and respond, wholy dang

I was thinking the same thing. I enjoy her posts but they kind of rambel sometimes and make my brain, what little I have left, hurt. 

[mustang]

I don't "haggle" with a lady, NOR do I intentionally waste her time. 

I have recently been experiencing posts that make no mention of a deposit and a few even claim "all cash".  When contacted the either demand a deposit (can't be cash) or payment with gift cards ("buy the cards with your cash") and THEN get pissed because I wasted their time.

If your ads show rates (few do anymore .. FOSTA) and you state in the early part of your ad that you require a deposit I move on ...but if it looks like there is no deposit and I am interested, I will call (text) and ask about rates.   If you are not in my budget, again I move on. No intention to waste time, "just the facts madam, just the facts".

[Bit Banger]

@mustang

If ads are missing relevant details, who is wasting whose time?

[Seeker5280]

14 minutes ago, Bit Banger said:

@mustang

If ads are missing relevant details, who is wasting whose time?

THIS!

[Hunter VanDyke]

15 minutes ago, Bit Banger said:

@mustang

If ads are missing relevant details, who is wasting whose time?

TOB and Eros for example to don't allow providers to post those relevant details. That's not even a decision to make.  Some providers are uncomfortable posting anything related to money in their advertisements even if there is a choice.  Most likely for the same reasons TOB and Eros take the extra precautions.  It's hardly timewasting on the providers part. 

[Hunter VanDyke]

19 hours ago, mustang said:

I don't "haggle" with a lady, NOR do I intentionally waste her time. 

I have recently been experiencing posts that make no mention of a deposit and a few even claim "all cash".  When contacted the either demand a deposit (can't be cash) or payment with gift cards ("buy the cards with your cash") and THEN get pissed because I wasted their time.

If your ads show rates (few do anymore .. FOSTA) and you state in the early part of your ad that you require a deposit I move on ...but if it looks like there is no deposit and I am interested, I will call (text) and ask about rates.   If you are not in my budget, again I move on. No intention to waste time, "just the facts madam, just the facts".

The facts sir, just the facts go both ways. Why don't you guys state your no lists in your inquiries.  It's easy to state you won't pay any deposit when you inquire about her rates.  You make the initial contact. If she only books clients who pay a deposit, then the interaction stops there.  If she doesn't require then things move along as normal.  

[Audrey Astor]

5 minutes ago, Hunter VanDyke said:

TOB and Eros for example to don't allow providers to post those relevant details. That's not even a decision to make.  Some providers are uncomfortable posting anything related to money in their advertisements even if there is a choice.  Most likely for the same reasons TOB and Eros take the extra precautions.  It's hardly timewasting on the providers part. 

So true! This bothers some of us too guys. Sorry! I know that I sure like to know fees upfront for services prior to contact. Some of us have websites with these details. Most of the seasoned clients will find the information and review it prior to contact. FOR SOME ITS LIKE PULLING TEETH. I guess folks are not into reading these days.😂I am a big proponent for folks to have a few pointers to read and acknowledge prior to viewing the listings. Maybe @Calisurfgirl can head up that project. Hehe

[mustang]

3 minutes ago, Hunter VanDyke said:

The facts sir, just the facts go both ways. Why don't you guys state your no lists in your inquiries.  It's easy to state you won't pay any deposit when you inquire about her rates.  You make the initial contact. If she only books clients who pay a deposit, then the interaction stops there.  If she doesn't require then things move along as normal.  

You took longer than I thought you would.  You seem to have assumed that I don't make that clear.  IF I text or email I certainly include the fact that I do not pay deposits.

[Hunter VanDyke]

Just now, mustang said:

You took longer than I thought you would.  You seem to have assumed that I don't make that clear.  IF I text or email I certainly include the fact that I do not pay deposits.

Ooooh... I love that I made you wait...for it. Wait for it...wait for it...

🤣🤣🤣

[Bit Banger]

5 hours ago, Hunter VanDyke said:

TOB and Eros for example to don't allow providers to post those relevant details. That's not even a decision to make.  Some providers are uncomfortable posting anything related to money in their advertisements even if there is a choice.  Most likely for the same reasons TOB and Eros take the extra precautions.  It's hardly timewasting on the providers part. 

I understand that several venues do not allow the ladies to provide the details some of us fellas need to confirm an appointment.  Therefore if we call for those details, you provide them, and they don’t meet our criteria so we don’t bother to book, we are not wasting your time any more than we’re wasting ours.

Now multiple calls/texts, teasing out one detail at a time, that’s a different story. Not kool!

[SultryKitten]

On 8/12/2022 at 4:25 PM, Phishingcoast said:

Hi I am new to the TOB. I am planning a trip to Denver and this platform is unique. I live in SoCal and go through the more traditional sites, Denver has a vibrant community here. My thoughts on the questions posted above 1. I find it interesting that “donations” are not listed on posts. My assumption is that while one is browsing they have a budget that does not meet expectations so they feel the need to haggle. 

This is due to FOSTA/SESTA bring passed which affects all adult sites. I would read up on the laws to better understand how things work in this industry...it will help you to better understand why we run things the way we do.☺️

Xoxo,

Samantha Sheppard aka Sultry Kitten 

[CountryGentleman]

On 8/17/2022 at 10:59 AM, Hunter VanDyke said:

Ooooh... I love that I made you wait...for it. Wait for it...wait for it...

🤣🤣🤣

You're such a tease!!!  

Of course, I like that...

[Calisurfgirl]

On 8/17/2022 at 10:53 AM, Audrey Astor said:

So true! This bothers some of us too guys. Sorry! I know that I sure like to know fees upfront for services prior to contact. Some of us have websites with these details. Most of the seasoned clients will find the information and review it prior to contact. FOR SOME ITS LIKE PULLING TEETH. I guess folks are not into reading these days.😂I am a big proponent for folks to have a few pointers to read and acknowledge prior to viewing the listings. Maybe @Calisurfgirl can head up that project. Hehe

I would love to draft and outline a probationary format and/or propose some ideas that I would be advantageous to both sides of the "coin". I use that term as an analogy to describe hobbyist and providers. A US quarter has one side with the portrait of our first president, George Washington. Which if it were a coin toss would be recognized as "heads".. The other side of the clad coated, copper and nickel mixed coin is a landscape or image that depicts a staple, commemoration  of American history. The opposite side of ridged/grooved edged coin is known to all as "tails". Both are equal except in weight, both a polar, opposite but necessity, indispensable to generate a Quarter. So we all do respect, a provider is not to be viewed or stereotyped as beneath, weaker, subservient too. I ask this following question to persons that contact myself, who are less than cordial. "Do you know the first rule of negotiation"? (I wait for the persons response) Then I ask if they would like to know the answer. The answer is, "Whoever speaks first has the disadvantage". Then I follow up with a final question. "Did I contact you first" ? --------------------------------- (the moment of silence, followed by the vivid realization ,  OMG the epiphany, ). She, I, softly speak. Thank you, once again for your  inquiry. (Now the curtains fall, the room darkens lol, and scene LOL) I provide adequate time for them to absorb what just happened. Lastly state, please call me when you are ready to actively participate/utilize what you had just learned. Intelligence, beauty and my classic Ray-Ban Glasses don't hurt either.  Have been told within my career field of study that nothing is sexier.