Poll: Regarding asps as future/current spouses.

[Cherry]

Do you think a gal's experience as an asp would help/hurt her future position as a spouse (if she is single at the time of being an asp and then monogamous and no longer an asp once married)?

I love to get inside the hobbiest's mind and have wondered about this for some time.

[Nusa]

Do you think a gal's experience as an asp would help/hurt her future position as a spouse (if she is single at the time of being an asp and then monogamous and no longer an asp once married)?

I love to get inside the hobbiest's mind and have wondered about this for some time.

If you realy like/love someone it's usually not contengient on their past or future. Although there are many types of relationships, I generally assume a spousal relationship to include sex, but to be based on more than just sex.

[SLOHANDS4XTC]

I love to get inside the hobbiest's mind and have wondered about this for some time.

AHUM, Inside a hobbiest's mind? No rocket science here.

It's like what Forrest Gump said: "You never know what your gona get".

Meanning, I think that all men and women are diffrent. Especially in thought. But as for my own thoughts?

I think that after one miserable mistake, that if I do have another try at it. I am going to seek out a woman that is into the alternative lifestyle.

After all, if you both are enjoying a hobby together, you could both can be happy and it couldn't be concidered cheating.

So an ASP? single? monogamous? All would be immaterial to me.

For me, what she did before I met her does not matter.

What would matter, to me, is what she thought and felt about me while WE are together.

Dennis M.

[mrvegas63]

"Hopefully liberated" being the key phrase.

Basically: don't want a burned out lady and open minded to my occasional proclivities.

[pfunk]

I doubt that there is a universal answer. Some girls will learn to be better people from any job (including escorting). Some girls will learn nothing from any job, and be whiny victims most of their lives.

The first type of girl makes a good spouse, IMHO!

[Guest hgritstoo]

I doubt that there is a universal answer. Some people will learn to be better people from any job (including escorting). Some people will learn nothing from any job, and be whiny victims most of their lives.

The first type of person makes a good spouse, IMHO!

Fixed it for you.

I find the basic premise of this thread as offensive as any racial stereotype. Every person and every situation is different.

[Doug28]

As I have said before, I have met better all around quality women in the hobby than I did in civilian life.

If your partner, your friend, your lover is monogamous who cares what she used to do.

Flip the coin. Could she be with a guy that used to pay for it?

Cherry, to answer your question directly, absolutely the fairy tale is possible.

Probable? No worse odds than real life.

[Bit Banger]

Since sex, while a great benefit of being married, it is NOT essential to a good marriage, I voted in the OTHER category. There was no sex in the last 12 years of my marriage. (We did have a Don'tAsk-Don'tTell so I got sex outside, but bear with me here.)

The more important requirements are how you get along with each other, do you share interests in food, art, music, can you argue fairly and not hold a grudge, do you care about each other enough to care for each other.

With all that I suspect being an ASP may present a problem having learned to develop 1hr relationships instead of 25+ year affairs. Most people can hide their inner face for an hour or two and let it out when the a$$hole leaves. I used to do it all the time with clients.

At the same time, an ASP may crave & cherish an LTR and work harder to maintain it. Yes, being in an LTR takes a LOT of work as changes mold it to meet current conditions. (My marriage did not start out sexless but evolved to DADT due to outside forces.)

All that being said, one of the characteristics I'll look for is still being a hedonist and post-menopause (or pre-menopause if she's young enough to last into my dottage) because I do enjoy sex and find it essential to maintaining my wa. There seems to be a switch which gets turned OFF as women go through 'the change' and my personal experience with HRT is "it's deadly".

[Bit Banger]

...

Flip the coin. Could she be with a guy that used to pay for it?

...

Excellent point!

[Guest]

Being in this industry is not what defines somebody as a person. Asking how being an ASP impacts somebody's ability to be a good mate is about as relevant as asking how being a secretary, dentist, chef, or a seamstress impacts somebody's ability to be a good mate. In my opinion, things to factor in when considering what makes a "good mate" include personality, honesty, kindness and the amount of love that one person has in their heart that they are willing to share with another.

If being an ASP has impacted one's morality, there is a very good chance that they are not okay with who they are in the first place. Chances are that no matter what job they choose their morality issues will still be the same, because the truth is it is not the job that makes a good person a good person. It is what lies within a person that is the determining factor on whether or not they are considered good.

[Cherry]

Fixed it for you.

I find the basic premise of this thread as offensive as any racial stereotype. Every person and every situation is different.

This thread was not mean to be offensive - nor was I seeking a "stock" answer from all hobbiests (I hate that term BTW). I do realize they are all different. Perhaps I should have phrased it "Would being an asp make one a better sexual partner in a marriage."

I began wondering about this because over the years, many gents I have met in these circles have stated that they wished their spouses were more like asps sexually.

At any rate, the poll was presented just to gather opinions and more for entertainment anyway. Sorry it seems to have rubbed some folks the wrong way. I'll let you get back to your 411's.

[Cherry]

Being in this industry is not what defines somebody as a person. Asking how being an ASP impacts somebody's ability to be a good mate is about as relevant as asking how being a secretary, dentist, chef, or a seamstress impacts somebody's ability to be a good mate.

That is your opinion. I know many people do consider being an asp to be very different than being a dentist. They are not even in the same ballpark.

[Guest]

That is your opinion. I know many people do consider being an asp to be very different than being a dentist. They are not even in the same ballpark.

So, in your opinion, being an ASP DOES define somebody as a person?

[coolhand luke]

I don't think that being an asp alone would qualify anyone to be a better spouse. Yes you may be more experienced sexually but sometimes that may come back to haunt you as we all know how human nature can enter into it in the heat of a fray. Also do you really feel like engaging in more after a hard days work. Most of us would like to relax.

When people are first attracted to one another a great deal of the time it is due to pheromones (that sniff of sex) that attracts you. Once that is toned down you have the person inside that you committed to. That is what should have attracted you to each other in the first place but different heads often do the initial talking.. So no matter if you are an asp, butcher baker or candlestick maker, banker, doctor or preacher nothing makes you a better spouse except having love and mutual respect and understanding of your significant other and being their partner. There are no other qualifications needed.

[Bit Banger]

Actually, what you do for a living, be it dentist, brick layer, or ASP, is a part of what defines you as a person. You spend a great deal of time associated with that activity. It will influence how you interact with people and the world at large. Being (or having been) an ASP is more likely to influence your interactions with a mate than being a brick layer since it directly relates to one aspect (of many) in a traditional relationship. That said, you are correct is saying personality (and all that entails: morality, loving nature, etc.) is far more important to developing a good relationship.

[Bigguy]

I voted other. First I am somewhat amazed at the thoughtful answers on here. I don't think it would matter either. It is all about who she is on the inside. You can't make a ho a wife, but if an escort truly loves a guy and wants to be a wife there is no reason it couldn't work out. On the sexual side some escorts love sex and some don't so I don't think whether she was an escort or not would necessarily affect her married sex life.

[Guest]

I politely disagree. I do not accept that being in this profession defines me as a person. I define me as a person. I decide who I am and how I interact with others and so forth. Not this business.

Actually, what you do for a living, be it dentist, brick layer, or ASP, is a part of what defines you as a person. You spend a great deal of time associated with that activity. It will influence how you interact with people and the world at large. Being (or having been) an ASP is more likely to influence your interactions with a mate than being a brick layer since it directly relates to one aspect (of many) in a traditional relationship. That said, you are correct is saying personality (and all that entails: morality, loving nature, etc.) is far more important to developing a good relationship.

[Bit Banger]

I politely disagree. I do not accept that being in this profession defines me as a person. I define me as a person. I decide who I am and how I interact with others and so forth. Not this business.

You are quite correct. YOU define who you are as a person. And by chosing to be an ASP you provide but one data point as part of that definition. There are many other data points w/in that definition, some more important than others.

The OP was asking if being an ASP would influence a mate relationship. Since sex is a component of a mate relationship and since a person's skill and attitudes toward sex are likely colored (for good or bad) by their experiences as an ASP, then yes - it will have an influence (good or bad). How could it not? Note that your skill and attitudes towards sex are also components in that definition of who you are as a person. This is quite true for your clients too. This is really no different than saying you are a vegan, an unrepentant carnivore, or can run a 7 minute mile.

I think what you're really objecting to is people imposing their value judgement of who you are based on a single data point. Always a losing proposition because of the complexity of the human condition.

[Guest]

Sure, it may influence me. But it does not define me. There is a big difference between influence and define.

You are quite correct. YOU define who you are as a person. And by chosing to be an ASP you provide but one data point as part of that definition. There are many other data points w/in that definition, some more important than others.

The OP was asking if being an ASP would influence a mate relationship. Since sex is a component of a mate relationship and since a person's skill and attitudes toward sex are likely colored (for good or bad) by their experiences as an ASP, then yes - it will have an influence (good or bad). How could it not? Note that your skill and attitudes towards sex are also components in that definition of who you are as a person. This is quite true for your clients too. This is really no different than saying you are a vegan, an unrepentant carnivore, or can run a 7 minute mile.

I think what you're really objecting to is people imposing their value judgement of who you are based on a single data point. Always a losing proposition because of the complexity of the human condition.

[Izabella Oz-9667]

With all that I suspect being an ASP may present a problem having learned to develop 1hr relationships instead of 25+ year affairs. Most people can hide their inner face for an hour or two and let it out when the a$$hole leaves. I used to do it all the time with clients

I hear ya, but you were able to have longer term relationships beyond the time spent with your clients. Same with an ASP

I don't think the "1 hour" thing dictates how we interact with everybody every time.

[defendingbluelines-5503]

I abstain from answering the poll. Will her past as an ASP improve her sexual skills and experience? Probably. Will she be inclined to use those improved skills? That is another question.

Think about it from the other side. If a man is a carpenter, learns the ins and outs of construction and many of the trades. Excellent with his hands and later becomes a banker. Will that make him a better husband? Maybe. But I know many men who are in the building trades who do not work on their own houses unless they have something broken. After doing something all day long - having to come home and work on the same thing as a hobby... Not all that often. Same goes for auto mechanics etc.

Is the potential there for a former ASP to keep her husband happy at home, not straying and understanding how important the physical and intimate aspects are to a happy marriage by using the skills, both physical and emotional, that she gained by being a successful ASP? Absolutely. But as many others have said, there is so much more about a person that "makes" them than their job that it is just one small part.

Just because she used to work at Subway doesn't mean she will always make good sandwiches. But she might. Just as the woman who is an ASP might also make good sandwiches. But the former Subway worker might know some little things that make hers just a bit better.

Anyway - that is my .02, I think this is a pretty good poll and thread. Thanks.

DBL out

[Izabella Oz-9667]

Its interesting that we're all focusing on sex. What about the ASP's role of understanding the male psyche (as best as we can). We deal with gentlemen on a very personal level in areas that can be emotional minefields.

Then again, I've never been married. Maybe I'm describing what a wife does anyway.

[defendingbluelines-5503]

Its interesting that we're all focusing on sex. What about the ASP's role of understanding the male psyche (as best as we can). We deal with gentlemen on a very personal level in areas that can be emotional minefields.

Then again, I've never been married. Maybe I'm describing what a wife does anyway.

I mentioned both sexual and emotional needs and the ASP's potential ability to understand her mates needs in both areas.

[Velvet Valentine]

I believe there are good and bad people in every profession. No one is perfect. Everyone has their moments. However personally, I do believe that being a provider has made me a better partner, girlfriend, or future whatever for someone. It's made me much more in tune with what men want...and what I want for myself in a relationship. I have learned a lot about others. I have always been a "giver / caretaker". I like spoiling someone I care about. I never wanna get too comfortable with someone that I get into a rut and stop wanting passion in my life, stop communicating about sex or thoughts about it, or so I stop working hard to have it with another. It's made me more aware I think. But not everyone is that way.

[auldguy]

I think that as a rule if sex goes by the way in a marriage other things begin to crumble. So sex outside the marriage may help hold things together for a while - but not very well - given that sex is a release even if the encounter is only for an hour a two. The lack of sex on the marriage is symptomatic of bigger unresolved issues.

[Bit Banger]

I think that as a rule if sex goes by the way in a marriage other things begin to crumble. ... The lack of sex on the marriage is symptomatic of bigger unresolved issues.

While I would agree that this is often the case, it's not an absolute. There a host of "organic" reasons for sex to go out of a marriage, some due to illness (both male & female) or "the change". The issues of emotional support, tenderness & caring may still be present but sex can become painful, difficult, or impossible. The trick is recognizing the root cause and addressing the issue(s).

[mj76]

I abstain from answering the poll. Will her past as an ASP improve her sexual skills and experience? Probably. Will she be inclined to use those improved skills? That is another question.

Think about it from the other side. If a man is a carpenter, learns the ins and outs of construction and many of the trades. Excellent with his hands and later becomes a banker. Will that make him a better husband? Maybe. But I know many men who are in the building trades who do not work on their own houses unless they have something broken. After doing something all day long - having to come home and work on the same thing as a hobby... Not all that often. Same goes for auto mechanics etc.

I voted other and agree with DBL. Maybe her skills will be better but there is no guarantee she will use those acquired skills on her spouse. I work on computers for a living. By the end of the day I'm done with computers and it's the last thing I want to look at when I get home. My wife has a POS computer and when she has problems it can take a few days for me to get to it. Depending on her personality she may take those skills and rock his world or she could just be done with it and not so exciting.

[Bit Banger]

Interesting - when I wrote code for a living I also wrote code for a hobby. But when I stopped writing code, I stopped - period! I pour my creative energies into other channels.

[Guest Jake]

Hahaha....some people just have paper thin skin:rolleyes:

This thread was not mean to be offensive - nor was I seeking a "stock" answer from all hobbiests (I hate that term BTW). I do realize they are all different. Perhaps I should have phrased it "Would being an asp make one a better sexual partner in a marriage."

I began wondering about this because over the years, many gents I have met in these circles have stated that they wished their spouses were more like asps sexually.

At any rate, the poll was presented just to gather opinions and more for entertainment anyway. Sorry it seems to have rubbed some folks the wrong way. I'll let you get back to your 411's.

[MAG]

Do you think a gal's experience as an asp would help/hurt her future position as a spouse (if she is single at the time of being an asp and then monogamous and no longer an asp once married)?

I love to get inside the hobbiest's mind and have wondered about this for some time.

Other. You can take the woman out of the whorehouse, but you can't take the whorehouse out of the woman.