Anyone ever fall for a provider?

[Sphinx]

I don't think I am ready to give anyone 100% of me...

Then whatever you're gonna tell her is for your sake, not hers. If you're gonna disclose your feelings just to make yourself feel better, all you're doing is playing her. If she feels the same, you will have succeeded in making her want what she can't have. If she doesn't...you will have gained nothing and maybe ruined what you have now.

All I'm saying is, if you care about this girl...examine your motives. And good luck...

[blowmar]

Yeah, I fell for Kelly in Las Vegas. Turns out her husband is a lawyer, and she's a former Olympian. Nice night, but I won't be tapping that keg again.

[Dimmsdale]

I think you may be right, but I saw her again and the connection is there for sure. I really got it bad. I may just have to tell her where I am at and what I feel and if she wants to proceed I guess we could just take things slow. Who knows? Maybe she'll just turn the whole thing down, not the first time my hearts been broken right? She really is something though

[Guest Euclid]

Yours is the gazillionth thread on this topic.

Hope springs eternal in the human gonad.

[Pirate]

I think you may be right, but I saw her again and the connection is there for sure. I really got it bad. I may just have to tell her where I am at and what I feel and if she wants to proceed I guess we could just take things slow. Who knows? Maybe she'll just turn the whole thing down, not the first time my hearts been broken right? She really is something though

Well, if you feel that strongly about it, you probably should tell her. Just don't have high expectations or get weird about it. Have a clear idea of what you want and what you can offer her. Do you expect to continue to see her as a client? There are a few providers on here who claim that they have "boyfriends" who they continue to charge.

Chances are things will not go the way you envision. When you tell a woman you're sleeping with that you love her, there is a good chance either that will be the last time you see her OR she'll expect to move in with you right away. With a provider, she might try to take you for everything you have. She may stop charging you for services but start calling begging for money to pay rent, fix her car, or cover other non-existent emergencies that cost well above her usual rate. "Freebies" sometimes mean you'll be expected to cover her "bills" . . . designer shoes, plasma TV, that sort of thing.

But maybe you'll be in the 1% where everything works out and she feels the same about you and does not try to take advantage of the situation. Would you expect her to quit the business and move in with you? Are you able to maintain her lifestyle to which she's become accustomed? Would you expect her to be monogamous? You need to have realistic expectations. Even if she decides to date you, it will be on her terms and probably won't last too long.

[Nusa]

Well, if you feel that strongly about it, you probably should tell her. Just don't have high expectations or get weird about it. Have a clear idea of what you want and what you can offer her. Do you expect to continue to see her as a client? There are a few providers on here who claim that they have "boyfriends" who they continue to charge.

Chances are things will not go the way you envision. When you tell a woman you're sleeping with that you love her, there is a good chance either that will be the last time you see her OR she'll expect to move in with you right away. With a provider, she might try to take you for everything you have. She may stop charging you for services but start calling begging for money to pay rent, fix her car, or cover other non-existent emergencies that cost well above her usual rate. "Freebies" sometimes mean you'll be expected to cover her "bills" . . . designer shoes, plasma TV, that sort of thing.

But maybe you'll be in the 1% where everything works out and she feels the same about you and does not try to take advantage of the situation. Would you expect her to quit the business and move in with you? Are you able to maintain her lifestyle to which she's become accustomed? Would you expect her to be monogamous? You need to have realistic expectations. Even if she decides to date you, it will be on her terms and probably won't last too long.

[ThomCrowne]

I try to stay real clear on why I’m seeing providers. There are a few ladies that I really click with, and that’s a good thing! I think finding someone you can relate to and feel comfortable with enhances the experience a great deal. I have a lot of affection for some of the ladies and I enjoy their company on more than a sexual level. I consider myself lucky that I can call them friends. That doesn’t mean that I want to run off and play house with them, or that they want to do that with me. It isn’t about that at all.

Here’s the thing. I think paying the contribution is just as important for the client as getting the contribution is for the provider. Call me crazy, but there it is. What the providers give me has value to me and the contribution keeps it clean and honest. It helps keep it where it should be in my head. I get to spend time with some wonderful women and all I have to bring to the table is a contribution, respect, and some manners. Oh yeah, I have to clean up real well, too!

If you click with someone enjoy the hell out of it! But don’t burden yourself or her by making it something it ain’t.

Just my two cents worth.

+1! I saw my former ATF (until she retired) more or less once a month for several years. The sessions were great and we definitely had a connection, often discussing many thing from our real lives. I never contacted her outside of a session except to set up the next session and never asked for or expected any freebie.

When she retired I was surprisingly sad for several months. I felt like I had lost a good friend. I still miss her but I respect her and I am glad she is happy in the new phase of her life.

If sincerely caring about someone's happiness and well-being and enjoying their company is a form of "love", well then I'm guilty. Or just human.

[Guest sturgis man]

I really got it bad. I may just have to tell her where I am at and what I feel and if she wants to proceed I guess we could just take things slow. Who knows?

Just remember that old saying "Careful what you wish for, you just might get it."

[runamock]

Providers & those who see them are people like anyone else.

You get two people together & who knows what could happen? People fall in love all the time. A lot of times its a train wreck but aren't a lot of relationships crashing & burning despite what people do for work?

[nairobi09]

I appreciate your comments and wish you all the best of luck. The crazy and exciting ones are sure lots of fun. But I have never been able to make it work. They usually are in some way a distraction from other stuff that is going on. Either that or I cannot handle the crazy energy on an ongoing basis.

In retrospect though I have never regretted any of my time with them, just wondered whether it ever could have worked. One of the things that seems to ruin it is when I become needy of them. It is not necessarily that it ruins it for them: it totally changes what I get out of it. So there is a problem I suppose; if I need their energy it stops being so much fun.

[Pirate]

The crazy and exciting ones are sure lots of fun. But I have never been able to make it work. They usually are in some way a distraction from other stuff that is going on. Either that or I cannot handle the crazy energy on an ongoing basis.

Crazy and exciting is GREAT on occasion . . . but when it is every fucking day, and you are genuinely concerned about their safety and sanity, it is an ordeal.

That being said, I have few regrets about the crazy girls I've dated. Lots of stress, a bit of drama, but no major trainwrecks. I actually miss a couple of them.

[Guest slim]

I find this to be an interesting topic. And ironic. I've read through this entire thread and for the OP and the rest this has happened to, consider yourself lucky. It took reading this to establish why I started this hobby in the first place. That feeling you get of being in love, albeit real however the circumstances in which they occur are highly unlikely to be real, is something I have yet to experience in life. Weed through my past relationships and marriage, even at a "younger" age than I am now, I have somehow missed this connection with another person.

I started this hobby with the idea I might be able to access those feelings via this outlet. Granted, I am just starting out but I'm not sure I am capable of those emotions. I feel like I might have felt "something" but my brain tends to focus on reality therefore I am brought back from fantasy rather quickly. So quickly that I didn't have a chance to appreciate a fantasy.

So once again, marvel at the fact that you have these feelings for another person because for some of us it is unreachable. These women are unbelievable that do this. I don't care if it's not real, I will still keep trying to access this aspect of life. Don't get me wrong, I seriously enjoy these women being here offering these experiences for us and we should not take that for granted. I will continue my quest and hope to find the one that breaks my heart as well!

[Velvet Valentine]

Beautiful post. I'm sure you will find love in your life as long as you keep yourself open to it. Good luck Sweetie!

I find this to be an interesting topic. And ironic. I've read through this entire thread and for the OP and the rest this has happened to, consider yourself lucky. It took reading this to establish why I started this hobby in the first place. That feeling you get of being in love, albeit real however the circumstances in which they occur are highly unlikely to be real, is something I have yet to experience in life. Weed through my past relationships and marriage, even at a "younger" age than I am now, I have somehow missed this connection with another person.

I started this hobby with the idea I might be able to access those feelings via this outlet. Granted, I am just starting out but I'm not sure I am capable of those emotions. I feel like I might have felt "something" but my brain tends to focus on reality therefore I am brought back from fantasy rather quickly. So quickly that I didn't have a chance to appreciate a fantasy.

So once again, marvel at the fact that you have these feelings for another person because for some of us it is unreachable. These women are unbelievable that do this. I don't care if it's not real, I will still keep trying to access this aspect of life. Don't get me wrong, I seriously enjoy these women being here offering these experiences for us and we should not take that for granted. I will continue my quest and hope to find the one that breaks my heart as well!

[urfan]

hey slim,

you may be on the right track after all. lead with your heart. you said it yourself that your brain drags your focus back to 'reality'

the key for you may lie in totally detaching logos from pathos and freeing up eros

[Guest]

I think you may be right, but I saw her again and the connection is there for sure. I really got it bad. I may just have to tell her where I am at and what I feel and if she wants to proceed I guess we could just take things slow. Who knows? Maybe she'll just turn the whole thing down, not the first time my hearts been broken right? She really is something though

love never comes without its risks!

in short: love is dangerous. so love dangerously.

—dear sugar, august 12, 2011

[Jez UaBriain]

I have to agree with this. Some of the girls I've been with were amazingly beautiful . . . but also manic and unpredictable. Cool while it lasted. Do not expect it to last long. Expect her to start expecting you to fix her problems, which often entail either panicked phone calls or lies about what she needs quick cash for.

I'm not comfortable with crazy, and lying is a dealbreaker for me. Nothing is really free. If you find yourself in a relationship with a provider, a porn star, or a stripper, it is pretty safe to assume you'll be dealing with some drama.

Anytime, anyone, falls for another person , damn right you will have drama involved. Human nature is a all powerful condition of being alive.

Where so many of us fall down is because we tend to pick up a bit of baggage

along the way. Then we like to pull it out of the closet and kick it toward our current SO

In this biz you get the good, the bad, and the ugly. Only each of us knows our own personal limits. Its easy to become involved, its hard to extricate yourself from relationships that have fallen to drama. I like how Songdog and a few others have stated- we are paid to leave, and they pay to leave also.. Can you imagine how sticky this would be if we are all fucking for free. Free , the lines get blurry far faster then when we are being paid, vice versa.

But then, I've been married twice. And am not now. So what do I know about love. My ex's picked me, not I, them. And the one I would have chosen- didn't even seem to know I was alive.

I have suspicions that I will die a lonely old lady, crazy as bat shit, probably throwing cats at people or puppies -like the old lady on South Park. But I am ok with that. People my age- or should I say guys in my generation tend to have gathered a large amount of emotional baggage from past wives, girl friends as. And I've grown to have zero tolerance for my own baggage- let alone anyone elses.

[Guest sexymaid]

The way of love is not

A subtle argument

The door there is devastation

Birds make great sky circles

of their freedom

How do they learn it?

They fall, and falling

they're given wings

-Rumi

[mj76]

I find this to be an interesting topic. And ironic. I've read through this entire thread and for the OP and the rest this has happened to, consider yourself lucky. It took reading this to establish why I started this hobby in the first place. That feeling you get of being in love, albeit real however the circumstances in which they occur are highly unlikely to be real, is something I have yet to experience in life. Weed through my past relationships and marriage, even at a "younger" age than I am now, I have somehow missed this connection with another person.

I started this hobby with the idea I might be able to access those feelings via this outlet. Granted, I am just starting out but I'm not sure I am capable of those emotions. I feel like I might have felt "something" but my brain tends to focus on reality therefore I am brought back from fantasy rather quickly. So quickly that I didn't have a chance to appreciate a fantasy.

So once again, marvel at the fact that you have these feelings for another person because for some of us it is unreachable. These women are unbelievable that do this. I don't care if it's not real, I will still keep trying to access this aspect of life. Don't get me wrong, I seriously enjoy these women being here offering these experiences for us and we should not take that for granted. I will continue my quest and hope to find the one that breaks my heart as well!

I started this hobby for exactly the opposite reason and didn't really think it was possible for me to have those feelings of love for any woman anymore. Then right after I post on this thread that I never developed feelings for a provider it happened. I developed a crush and started seeing this lady once a week for 2 months until I finally came to my senses and realized what was happening. I don't consider myself lucky. It kinda made me mad that I let my emotions get the best of me so I had to stop seeing her. I started doing this for fun and emotions at least for me are not fun.

[Guest century2ride]

love never comes without its risks!

in short: love is dangerous. so love dangerously.

—dear sugar, august 12, 2011

love your saying - always a difficult situation no matter how you look at it!

[Bit Banger]

... I developed a crush and started seeing this lady once a week for 2 months until I finally came to my senses and realized what was happening. ...

This is the primary reason that my favorite ladies only get to see me once or twice a year. I tend to rotate through the same list of special gals, checking out one, perhaps two new(to me) ladies, each year as attrition (retirement?) removes one or two each year. Sometime the new gals join the list, sometime not. I find this strategy keeps life exciting and indepedent.

[Guest]

love your saying - always a difficult situation no matter how you look at it!

that's exactly what i'm saying. no matter who's involved, nor what the circumstances. then again nothing worthwhile ever comes easily, & i can't wrap my mind around the thought of anything more worth!while than love.

in matters of the heart, take the risks & be proud of your scars...

[Guest slim]

I started this hobby for exactly the opposite reason and didn't really think it was possible for me to have those feelings of love for any woman anymore. Then right after I post on this thread that I never developed feelings for a provider it happened. I developed a crush and started seeing this lady once a week for 2 months until I finally came to my senses and realized what was happening. I don't consider myself lucky. It kinda made me mad that I let my emotions get the best of me so I had to stop seeing her. I started doing this for fun and emotions at least for me are not fun.

This is a perfect response. It reminds you that you are a living, breathing, emotional, rationalizing person. Feel fortunate to have felt it.

that's exactly what i'm saying. no matter who's involved, nor what the circumstances. then again nothing worthwhile ever comes easily, & i can't wrap my mind around the thought of anything more worth!while than love.

in matters of the heart, take the risks & be proud of your scars...

[shane]

I truly love my ATF and most other providers, and not just for the hour or three that we're together, but I'm not in love with her or them.

What's not to love about their femininity, their expertise & kindnesses, their knowledge and tolerance of men and our foibles, the great stories and play, the steamy looks now & then, the before and after wide ranging communication, etc.?

The occasional drama and the even less occasional mild pain... not so much.

[limey]

Its very difficult to remain distant or apart from that loving feeling. I believe most all want that kind of closeness. After experiencing some of the "Best of the best" you have the next stage of very close feelings and conversation, many times more honest and personal than you have had before. It is difficult to remain distant. But it is a must.

Been there a couple of times. The great memories are soooo good because the respectful distance was kept. Be there and do that.

[Doug28]

I like Embers response. Wear your love scars proudly.

The other points that make good sense are:

Be sure of what you want before you pursue anything.

Be honest with your expectations.

Really communicate.

Get out before the train wrecks.

[Guest hgritstoo]

I truly love my ATF and most other providers, and not just for the hour or three that we're together, but I'm not in love with her or them.

What's not to love about their femininity, their expertise & kindnesses, their knowledge and tolerance of men and our foibles, the great stories and play, the steamy looks now & then, the before and after wide ranging communication, etc.?

The occasional drama and the even less occasional mild pain... not so much.

THIS^^. Hammer. Nail. Head.

[oreman]

I find this to be an interesting topic. And ironic. I've read through this entire thread and for the OP and the rest this has happened to, consider yourself lucky. It took reading this to establish why I started this hobby in the first place. That feeling you get of being in love, albeit real however the circumstances in which they occur are highly unlikely to be real, is something I have yet to experience in life. Weed through my past relationships and marriage, even at a "younger" age than I am now, I have somehow missed this connection with another person.

I started this hobby with the idea I might be able to access those feelings via this outlet. Granted, I am just starting out but I'm not sure I am capable of those emotions. I feel like I might have felt "something" but my brain tends to focus on reality therefore I am brought back from fantasy rather quickly. So quickly that I didn't have a chance to appreciate a fantasy.

So once again, marvel at the fact that you have these feelings for another person because for some of us it is unreachable. These women are unbelievable that do this. I don't care if it's not real, I will still keep trying to access this aspect of life. Don't get me wrong, I seriously enjoy these women being here offering these experiences for us and we should not take that for granted. I will continue my quest and hope to find the one that breaks my heart as well!

+1

[Guest Skibum]

I'm falling for one right now. She's not a full-time provider and lives in the mountains. We email each other about our lives just about every day. We have so many common interests. I understand she is an independent woman, and has been for a long time. If I feel resistance I'm definitely giving myself a 10 yard penalty and backing off.

She has one of the best bodies I've seen in 40 years of hobbying. Late 30's. Slender with long sexy legs, great big eyes, dark hair, enhanced breasts, loves sex (more toys than I've ever seen in one collection). I tell her how beautiful I think she is and she just shakes her head and rolls her eyes. Ladies, what the heck does that mean? Does she think I'm an idiot? Or does she have poor self image? She invited me to her apartment, and said she's never done that with anyone else before. I was with her for the better part of an afternoon, helping her with her computer and other activities besides the good part.

She loves mountain climbing (all over the world), cycling, skiing. She works with disabled skiers during the winter. To me, she's as perfect as anyone can get. If we never become true lovers, I would still be happy with the friendship we have. I anticipate seeing her for days before our next appointment, which happens to be Saturday!

Don't even THINK about asking me who she is!!!

The only other similar relationships I had was with a stripper or three at Shotgun's or Penthouse Club. One wanted me to be her sugar daddy, the others just liked to fuck. None of those relationships went any further than that.

[Sennagig]

Happened to me once. This particular lady stopped advertising. She moved out of town. 6 months after our last visit I got text message from her out of the blue. She wanted to know how I was doing, and to tell me that she thought about me from time to time.

That made me feel pretty good. Love? I don't know. Love, to me is a lot of pain and a lot of sacrifice.

“Life is pain, highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.”

[SimoneLove]

I try to stay real clear on why I’m seeing providers. There are a few ladies that I really click with, and that’s a good thing! I think finding someone you can relate to and feel comfortable with enhances the experience a great deal. I have a lot of affection for some of the ladies and I enjoy their company on more than a sexual level. I consider myself lucky that I can call them friends. That doesn’t mean that I want to run off and play house with them, or that they want to do that with me. It isn’t about that at all.

Here’s the thing. I think paying the contribution is just as important for the client as getting the contribution is for the provider. Call me crazy, but there it is. What the providers give me has value to me and the contribution keeps it clean and honest. It helps keep it where it should be in my head. I get to spend time with some wonderful women and all I have to bring to the table is a contribution, respect, and some manners. Oh yeah, I have to clean up real well, too!

If you click with someone enjoy the hell out of it! But don’t burden yourself or her by making it something it ain’t.

Just my two cents worth.

Well said Babe!!