Posted October 10, 2012 Yes, you read that right. Here's my question: When in need of a reference for some real life purpose, such as renting an apartment, etc., I'm sure at least some providers have encountered difficulties. Favorite clients are helpful by nature, and I imagine many have kindly provided references for some favorite ladies from time to time. What's the etiquette on this, and how common is this practice? Any stories to share? Pleasant anecdotes of extremely grateful gals showing their appreciation? 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 10, 2012 Yes, you read that right. Here's my question: When in need of a reference for some real life purpose, such as renting an apartment, etc., I'm sure at least some providers have encountered difficulties. Favorite clients are helpful by nature, and I imagine many have kindly provided references for some favorite ladies from time to time. What's the etiquette on this, and how common is this practice? Any stories to share? Pleasant anecdotes of extremely grateful gals showing their appreciation? As agreed upon by said parties. <shrug> 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 10, 2012 Sadly, I’ve never been asked for assistance by any providers. Damn the luck! 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 10, 2012 I would say if you claim your taxes and show income that why would you need references other than that? 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 10, 2012 On a few occasions, I've tried to help find apartments for ladies and I've given reference. It seemed like the right thing to do, especially since they had kids and were at risk of being up sh*t creek without a place. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 10, 2012 Money is just money, but a reference from me is my word. Jennifer....I'm not saying that you or any other provider is not worthy of me giving my word, but as a rule I know very little about the providers I see. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 10, 2012 I'm mostly free with my money and time (provided I have both to spare), so it's no big deal to me to help out a provider should she ask. In the past, I've fronted rent money, gave rides to and fro, heck, one time I even visited and post some $ to the canteen of a provider who was in Adams County Jail . Ultimately, karma has been kind to me in this regard. But I draw the line at vouching for someone I really haven't known for at least 10 yrs or so. To vouch for a provider for a rental (e.g.), and someone gets arrested, hurt or even killed in said rental could come back to bite me in the azz. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 10, 2012 I would say if you claim your taxes and show income that why would you need references other than that? I have heard that this is a part of renting a place to live. Who knows? Maybe it helps a leasing office or private landlord decide whether to rent a unit to one tenant over another, where there are multiple applicants. Maybe it helps balance out a ding in one's rental history or less than spotless credit. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 10, 2012 i've done any number of favors for any number of folks on here. so all a gal i know usually has to do is just whistle. "You know how to whistle, don't you? You just put your lips together and blow." - Lauren Bacall "To Have and To Have Not" 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 10, 2012 "You know how to whistle, don't you? You just put your lips together and blow." - Lauren Bacall "To Have and To Have Not" 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 11, 2012 I don't think there's anything legally binding in a reference:rolleyes: I've helped out friends with attaining an apartment...knowing that they were probably going to screw over the landlord...and I have to say..they're my friend...the landlord wasn't. I don't give a shit how things work out for him. To vouch for a provider for a rental (e.g.), and someone gets arrested, hurt or even killed in said rental could come back to bite me in the azz. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 11, 2012 Money is just money, but a reference from me is my word. Jennifer....I'm not saying that you or any other provider is not worthy of me giving my word, but as a rule I know very little about the providers I see. Same here. I won't give a reference for someone I barely know. If you want to rent an apartment, have the relevant and appropriate paperwork ready: a credit report and a verifiable source of employment and income. What more do you need? 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 11, 2012 Pleasant anecdotes of extremely grateful gals showing their appreciation? Why do you girls think that every problem can be solved by you spreading your legs? 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 11, 2012 ..they're my friend...the landlord wasn't. I don't give a shit how things work out for him. One day you might be in the landlord's shoes and someone may return the favor to you. What the OP is asking is a NO NO. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 11, 2012 Maybe...probably...but when have you ever chosen someone to use as a reference that was completely un-biased on your behalf. One day you might be in the landlord's shoes and someone may return the favor to you. What the OP is asking is a NO NO. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 11, 2012 Same here. I won't give a reference for someone I barely know. ... When you ask me for a reference you are asking me to put my reputation on the line for you. My reputation is something I've worked long & hard to build, something easily tarnished, and something very difficult to regain. I don't lend it to others lightly! 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 11, 2012 I have given rides, I have used my "man skills" such as hanging a pot and pan rack in her kitchen, household and auto repairs, lifting heavy items into storage units.... All of these have been repaid for by the provider utilizing her "woman skills" and I have always felt as though I got the better end of the deal I have never been asked for money or to give a reference. I would have no problem giving a reference for someone whom I have spent some time with and feel I know fairly well. I would not give one for someone who I have just recently met. Anytime I were to give money to a person in this hobby (which I have not) - it would be just that, a gift, not expecting to be repaid, much as it has been when I have given money to friends and family in real life. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 11, 2012 you need to find a sugar daddy. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 11, 2012 I think she has been there and does not want to go in that direction again. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 11, 2012 I had a problem with the "I don't give a shit about him" response. If you do not give a shit, then don't give a reference. We have to dust ourselves off once in while while playing in the sand box. <Sarcasm font on> We do have morals you know> 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 11, 2012 Why do you girls think that every problem can be solved by you spreading your legs? i'am here for you baby. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 12, 2012 Why do you girls think that every problem can be solved by you spreading your legs? Not all of think that way. Many of us rely on ourselves and not our clients:) I think the OP's question is unprofessional conduct for a provider. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 12, 2012 Not all of think that way. Many of us rely on ourselves and not our clients:) I think the OP's question is unprofessional conduct for a provider. The OP's questions were: "What's the etiquette on this? How common is this practice? And, any stories or anecdotes to share?" My discussion topic was prompted my something in my professional life. Sometimes I am privy to the private matters of others. Sometimes I want to help find a solution to a problem which others have experienced, and I can't intervene directly. Asking the community for their perspective isn't me looking for answers for myself - it's me looking for answers for the community, from the community. Crowdsourcing can a valuable form of brainstorming. Unfortunately, sometimes it devolves into displaced vitriol. Any positive suggestions to help young ladies who work in the adult industry to secure housing are extremely welcome. I consulted with a colleague who made several helpful suggestions, and I will report back as the project evolves, if he wants to pursue it. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 12, 2012 (edited) One day you might be in the landlord's shoes and someone may return the favor to you. What the OP is asking is a NO NO. What the OP asked: "What's the etiquette on this? How common is this practice? Any pleasant anecdotes to share?" Pleasant anecdotes are anathema to you, and it shows. Why the vitriol? One day you might be in the shoes of someone I encountered recently: [snip] due to a few priors related to her being a victim of trafficking. Brainstorming with the community was something I thought might inspire helpful suggestions to benefit others. Instead, it seems to have devolved into something else. Not sure why, but I do know that everyone who contributed their thoughts revealed something of themselves. Edited October 12, 2012 by boink36 Forbidden topic removed. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 12, 2012 If you want to rent an apartment, have the relevant and appropriate paperwork ready: a credit report and a verifiable source of employment and income. What more do you need? For many gals here, YOU are their source of employment and income. Hence my post. Any suggestions for them? Other than to suck it up and live in the streets. Look, you're intelligent, and you likely have some good ideas on the subject. Please ignore that it's me asking. Pretend it's that chick with her "poorest of the poor" community. ;-) 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 12, 2012 (edited) Wow...the OP said "One day you might be in the shoes of someone I encountered recently: [snip] due to a few priors related to her being a victim of trafficking. Brainstorming with the community was something I thought might inspire helpful suggestions to benefit others. Instead, it seems to have devolved into something else. Not sure why, but I do know that everyone who contributed their thoughts revealed something of themselves." Looks like ppl here are eager to write something,anything, instead of actually reading first:rolleyes: To the OP: I've helped when and how much I could in any given situations. But there is a very helpful and kind hearted lady here that has helped even before someone asked anything of her....I'm waiting for her to chime in... Edited October 12, 2012 by boink36 Quote edited. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 12, 2012 I think she has been there and does not want to go in that direction again. Everything that has helped me arrive at my present happy life is water under the bridge. Finding the prince is worth getting past the frogs. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 12, 2012 What the OP asked: "What's the etiquette on this? How common is this practice? Any pleasant anecdotes to share?" Pleasant anecdotes are anathema to you, and it shows. Why the vitriol? One day you might be in the shoes of someone I encountered recently: [snip] due to a few priors related to her being a victim of trafficking. Brainstorming with the community was something I thought might inspire helpful suggestions to benefit others. Instead, it seems to have devolved into something else. Not sure why, but I do know that everyone who contributed their thoughts revealed something of themselves. You asked for our opinion. We responded. When you do not get the answer you want you throw a tantrum and hurl thinly veiled insults. Your responses do indeed reveal a lot. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 12, 2012 Years ago I worked for a Health One hospital and they had a great program for their employees it was called the Hope Fund. If an employee found themselves in a hard spot they could plead their case to the Hope Fund and get help. I have often wondered if we could make something like that work in the escorting world. A working girl charity of sorts, guys and girls could donate money, goods, specialty services anything really. There are a lot of good people out there, those who recognize that it can be tough for providers to do things like rent apartments, and that some providers struggle to pay bills, that really they just sometimes need a little help. As for the original question, I can't really speak to the etiquette it will vary depending on the relationships you have with clients. I don't really think its inappropriate to ask. We don't get help if we don't ask for it right? 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 13, 2012 Yes, you read that right. Here's my question: When in need of a reference for some real life purpose, such as renting an apartment, etc., I'm sure at least some providers have encountered difficulties. Favorite clients are helpful by nature, and I imagine many have kindly provided references for some favorite ladies from time to time. What's the etiquette on this? I read the question. Etiquette is a code of behavior that delineates expectations for social behavior according to contemporary conventional norms within a society. IMO - it is unprofessional for a provider to ask a client for a reference in real life, such as renting an apartment, etc. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
