A LONG Vanity: One client's perspective after a year in the hobby

[Guest hgritstoo]

I had my first ever “hobby” encounter 1 year ago this week. I tend to be an analytical, introspective guy, but in the social universe I inhabit , there’s really no one I can discuss this stuff with. I have some observations I’d like to make. I am curious if others have had similar experiences or feelings. And I have some things I want to get off my chest. Thanks to all reading this thread for listening to me, and taking the place of a licensed psychotherapist. If anyone sees anything they think I have wrong, please let me know. I’m willing to learn. If you’re not interested, that’s fine too. I think there’s a thread on big boobs further down………

Getting started is tough:

I did a lot of research for my first visit, primarily on TER. My first visit was to a nice backpage lady who has a few reviews on TOB, many more on TER. There were two ladies I had decided on, and attempted to see. One screened…..and I didn’t have references. Since I was unwilling to reveal any personal information, I couldn’t see her. The second required no screening, and I set up a date.

Groucho Marx once quipped he would never join a club that would have someone like him for a member. I finally understood the wisdom of that quip. I was certain I had just made a date with LE. I patrolled the entire hotel for 45 minutes before knocking on her door. I checked the parking lot for vehicles with government plates. I checked stairwells. After 45 minutes of vigorous, nervous hiking, I probably smelled like I had just visited the gym. Once in the room, I did not have the foggiest idea of how to proceed. I wouldn’t make the first move to get undressed. Since she had not screened me, she wouldn’t either. We finally broke the Mexican Standoff after she scolded me on my behavior, and gave me a safety lecture. I never saw her again, but I did get a taste of the forbidden fruit. I wanted more.

I did more research and settled on another lady. She screened….and this is when I discovered my first lady wouldn’t provide references. Dammit……I was back to square 1. This is when I finally understood: To find a high quality provider, at some point, you are going to have to provide “someone” with some personal information. Someone who is involved in an activity that our society frowns upon. How do you know who to trust? I’m no private eye. The lady I wanted to see had a very professional-looking website. She was mentioned by name in the narrative of a different provider’s website. She had lots of excellent reviews. And that was all I had to go on. I took a leap of faith, and gave her a great deal of personal info. Probably too much.

I cruised her neighborhood for a few minutes before our appointment…..looking for the dreaded LE. Fortunately, I had found a true professional. My 2nd experience exceeded my wildest expectations. I was well and truly hooked. AND, she provided a reference for a 3rd lady…in a different city….who would also provide references. I used those references to acquire a P411 account. Shazzam! I was a player! (NOT!)

I have been keeping to the P411 ladies since then. As it is no longer needed, I try to keep my personal info to myself. But, I still try to be careful….and maintain some level of situational awareness. This makes me appear shy and bumbling on my first meeting with a lady. And, I find I focus on improving one or two aspects of my perceived shortcomings from my previous first time encounters….to the point where I make horrendous new mistakes. Like a recent encounter where I gave the young lady an opportunity to steal my car. (She declined…If she’s reading this: thank you!)

I still have a lot to learn.

I may be a lot more timid than the average guy…but I don’t think so. And, I understand why the ladies need to screen. But I feel that, in general, the ladies take for granted the sacrifices a guy has to make to see them. Maybe they’re used to a constant stream of confident, experienced, talented men with lots of time on their hands and nothing to lose…..but I don’t believe this either. The money is nothing. If we didn’t have it we wouldn’t come calling. But if a guy has a lot to lose, and selects the wrong lady……his life could be ruined. Combine that fear with the normal guy vanity stuff (do I smell like an open sewer, is my dick big enough, am I too ugly/old/fat/bald/inexperienced), and it’s a wonder we can get it up at all.

NCNS:

This hurts, particularly when you have really been looking forward to meeting someone for a long time. Especially if this is your only sexual outlet. I travel a lot, and need to make arrangements far in advance. I rarely have the opportunity to make a spur-of-the-moment decision. Ladies, please don’t do it. Guys, please don’t do it to the ladies.

Age….It Matters:

I’m in my mid 50’s. I don’t need drugs, but where I used to be a high-powered semi-automatic rifle….I’m now pretty much a single shot muzzle loader. And don’t think for a minute that I am not painfully aware of what time has done to me. You may be very young and very pretty, but if you don’t understand this about me, we’re not going to click.

I have seen one provider with an age differential around 30 years from mine. This young lady was beautiful , and hotter than a 3-dollar pistol. She was also younger than <self snipping of what is probably a forbidden topic>. I felt icky for weeks afterward…..

I like beautiful, nubile women as much as the next guy, but if you are younger than certain people I know, you are going to make me very uncomfortable. Please be reasonably honest with your age. If you have lowballed it, I may pass over you because I believe you to be in that range that will make me uncomfortable.

The Money:

This is not a poor man’s game. We all make trade-offs, and my situation is such that the hobby is my only possible source of release. I’ve seen 9 different ladies in the past year. Some several times. This may not seem like much to some, but it is 400% higher than my total for the 50-some years before this.

Tally up the costs for the year, and I am over $7K. Yeah, there are some bigger-ticket adventures in there. I have splurged when I wanted to. But I was surprised at how quickly it added up. This is more than I had intended to spend, but less than I can afford. LOL…..and for some of you cynics out there……yes, the rent got paid. On time, even.

The Ladies:

I believe the female form, in every single one of its infinite permutations, is the most beautiful thing in the world.

I very quickly had to change my perception of the ASP. The stereotypical dim-witted, gum-chewing, bleach-blond with the “joisey” accent has not once opened any of the doors I’ve knocked on. Nor have any super-models or movie stars. They have all been fairly attractive, normal, well-groomed women with a surprising amount of intelligence and poise. Surely they can be successful in some other line of work? Why are they doing this? Why are they having sex with losers like me?

To assuage any guilt I may feel for taking advantage of a lady in a bad situation, I keep telling myself that they are very successful in a job they enjoy. After all, this is what they tell me in their ads…..and they wouldn’t lie, would they? I work numbers in my head, like: $250 per hour times 3 hours per day times 5 days per week times 52 weeks per year equals $195,000 per year…….. tax free. This makes me feel good for them. I am learning first hand that….at least in some cases…..the part about them loving what they do may be a lie. This makes me feel bad for them. I have lost some sleep over this. Even though this is supposed to be a business relationship, I want to be a helper, not a hurter. If I find out a pimp is involved, that is an absolute deal killer for me.

A surprising thing I discovered: After a happy session with a lady, I feel very protective towards them. Never mind that most of the providers I’ve met could probably kick my scrawny white-bread ass in a stand-up fight. This is, I’m sure, a chemical response the human species has evolved over time. And it wears off after a little while. But it is very real, and I was surprised by how strong it is. No doubt this is the cause of “Captain-Save-a-Ho” syndrome. I’m sure I have displayed it in many postings, and many old-timers have read them, recognizing it for what it was, laughing. So be it. It’s a nice feeling as long as you recognize it for what it is. I choose to look upon it as a benefit rather than a curse…..and so is born another white knight.

In addition to being incredibly talented, pretty, and experienced, some of the ladies I’ve met have just been nice…..very, very, nice. Scary nice. Bring-them-home- to-meet-mama nice. This, too, surprised me. More than anything else I’ve experienced in the hobby. Yes, I understand that it is part of the skill-set that makes them successful at what they do. Still, one must keep a very Spock-like rein on one’s emotions. I have lost sleep over this, too.

I wonder if the ladies really know how they affect men, mentally? Yeah, they probably understand it on some instinctual level. But to really, truly understand it, and how to deliberately use that affect to achieve specific goals? To quote Kipling: “The female of the species is more deadly than the male.”

The Ladies Guild:

All those websites the ladies can sneak off to and talk about us guys. Not to mention blacklisting us. Am I the only guy that wonders about this? I imagine a big room with Greek columns and statuary, the ladies laying about discussing our various strengths and weaknesses in great detail, while Chippendale dancers peel grapes and fan them with ostrich feathers. The review boards are the only intelligence source we men have to combat this massive word-of-mouth network….and they are flawed.

The Power Struggle

All I wanna do is just get laid. That’s not too much to ask, is it? Apparently, in this community, it is.

Rule number 1, and I learned this the hard way: Don’t start a rate thread. Rule number 2, I’m still learning: Stay the hell away from rate threads others have started.

And of course, the over-riding rule above all other rules: Give the lady the donation she asks for, and STFU.

The golden rule of business is that “He who has the gold, makes the rules.” I’m not thinking that works in this situation. The truth is, as the customer, the only asset I am bringing to the table is my money. I am getting a service I want for that money. If the service is good, tip. And it should be as simple as that.

Only it isn’t. Because this service involves emotions. Feelings. The clients sense of self-worth. The providers sense of self worth. There is a power-struggle here. Who has the upper hand? Some people get satisfaction from “being superior” to other people. No one wants to feel inferior. No one wants to feel like a rube. All of this struggle is played out over the vast arena of providers capabilities, clients desires, societal judgement in general, and the danger of outing either the client or provider. It is fascinating to watch. It is impossible to fully understand. It is the concentrated version of the human drama. Like any power struggle, there will be battles, cautious peace treaties, victories, alliances, and casualties.

And now, for better or worse, I’m a part of it. I’m a year wiser, and still learning. To the ladies that made my first year such an adventure: thank you.

[lilithia]

Nice to read your thoughts a year later. One never knows what a journey it like unless you take the first step. This business is like any other addication it can and will become a bottomless pit.

SEx and money will always go hand in hand.

lilithia

[Guest kelso1342]

Great read. Thanks for putting that together. I'm a bit over two months into it and a lot of that rings true here. Except the fear of LE. Never had that. Was way too busy being afraid of the ladies.

I got over it

[Songdog57]

Great read. Thanks for putting that together. I'm a bit over two months into it and a lot of that rings true here. Except the fear of LE. Never had that. Was way too busy being afraid of the ladies.

I got over it

+1!

[Bit Banger]

Welcome to the fold, Grasshopper. A fair, moving description of a typical journey into this realm.

Are you over your paranoia about LE yet? Yes, there are horror stories about LE and what happens to your life when their paths intersect yours. While usually true, they are horror stories spread by LE & MSM to scare you and make their job easier. The likelyhood of them happening to you (based on the number of successful assignations vs those interrupted by LE) is slim.

I found you description of the typical YL spot on. The power struggles envolved not so much.

Hobby on!

[pfunk]

Are you over your paranoia about LE yet? Yes, there are horror stories about LE and what happens to your life when their paths intersect yours. While usually true, they are horror stories spread by LE & MSM to scare you and make their job easier. The likelyhood of them happening to you (based on the number of successful assignations vs those interrupted by LE) is slim.

Agreed. In 25 years, I've never encountered LE before, during, or after, an appointment.

[urfan]

interesting post, grits.

only comment i'd have re: the power struggle is plagiarized from a particularly prescient provider here and i quote: "Wrestling for dominance can be fun though"

[Audrey Astor]

I appreciate you sharing your perspective from the other side. Although a lot to read, I did read it all.

I do have an opinion on one of your statements: "I work numbers in my head, like: $250 per hour times 3 hours per day times 5 days per week times 52 weeks per year equals $195,000 per year…….. tax free."

The majority of us do not "work" these hours. Who wants to be the 3rd one of the day on day 5? Ewwwww These is personal time off, period time, sick time, etc. I get the gist of what you are saying though, and always appreciate your kindness towards us ladies.

[Guest hgritstoo]

Are you over your paranoia about LE yet?

Not entirely....but I'm getting there. I do try to pay attention to what's going on around me, though. There's just so much to keep track of! Maybe not to the experienced, but it's a new way of thinking for me.

I do have an opinion on one of your statements: "I work numbers in my head, like: $250 per hour times 3 hours per day times 5 days per week times 52 weeks per year equals $195,000 per year…….. tax free."

The majority of us do not "work" these hours. Who wants to be the 3rd one of the day on day 5? Ewwwww

Thank you for your kind words. And I agree about being guy number 3 on day 5. Ewwwww does not begin to describe it.

Nature abhors a vacuum....and so does my mind. When I don't know, I tend to fill in the blanks with something until I get better info.

To tell the truth, my nightmare scenario is to find out a lady I've been seeing is turning her hard-earned cash over to some sleazebag, for fear of being beaten or some other scenario. I don't want to be the enabler of that kind of arrangement. So, I've got this nice "movie" playing in my head: the ladies are happily working and earning as much or more than I am.

For better or worse, until I am given better data, I am going to pretend that I'm your only appointment for the day.....and you will probably do the same. However, again...without better data, I will always believe we're both pretending.

That is MY problem, not yours.

[Wendy Whitney]

You are such an incredible sweetheart and I loved this post!

You've come a long way baby!

[Bit Banger]

... I do try to pay attention to what's going on around me, though. ...

Situational Awareness is an important quality to have. But to spend 45min, or even 5min, scoping the place out looking for LE is excessive. If the YL catchs you at this, you could be branded a stalker.

So lighten up. Like Pfunk, in 25+ years I've never been hassled by LE when dealing with escorts. On the other hand, I have an LE friend who has some hilarious stories about his days working the streets for vice. But even there they run what? 2-3 stings a year? Then they splash it all over the news as if they're out there every day 24/7 trying to catch the johns. Realistically they don't have the resources for that.

[Guest hgritstoo]

Situational Awareness is an important quality to have. But to spend 45min, or even 5min, scoping the place out looking for LE is excessive. If the YL catchs you at this, you could be branded a stalker.

So lighten up. Like Pfunk, in 25+ years I've never been hassled by LE when dealing with escorts. On the other hand, I have an LE friend who has some hilarious stories about his days working the streets for vice. But even there they run what? 2-3 stings a year? Then they splash it all over the news as if they're out there every day 24/7 trying to catch the johns. Realistically they don't have the resources for that.

Nope, the 45 minute foot patrol and the 2 minute driving patrol were first and 2nd time events only. I feel much better with the P411 account, but I sometimes wonder if I'm becoming complacent.

Never thought about the appearance of stalking thing, though. You're right. Looks like I narrowly avoided an ass-kicking.

[Velvet Valentine]

Situational Awareness is an important quality to have. But to spend 45min, or even 5min, scoping the place out looking for LE is excessive. If the YL catchs you at this, you could be branded a stalker.

Agreed. I'm not into knowing someone is showing up early to stalk my incalls out. Luckily I like you.

The observations are great, except the income and "tax free" part..There are always false asumptions about this. And, I can't speak for others, but I pay my taxes. EEK! Hate IRS. Got audited once years ago...Never again.

[Guest hgritstoo]

Agreed. I'm not into knowing someone is showing up early to stalk my incalls out. Luckily I like you.

The observations are great, except the income and "tax free" part..There are always false asumptions about this. And, I can't speak for others, but I pay my taxes. EEK! Hate IRS. Got audited once years ago...Never again.

It took just 12 posts for me to evolve from excited yearling to stalker. Boy, did this posting take a wrong turn.

I wanted to show how stressful getting started in this hobby can be. At the time, I knew virtually nothing. I really did not stop to think what my actions would look like to the provider.

Looking back, I am rather appalled at the levels of my paranoia, and some of my actions. Maybe this thread can be a warning to other beginners on what not to do.

And, I have never, ever done it since. Now, if I happen to show up a few minutes early, it is because I overestimated the amount of traffic I would encounter. Believe me, I now understand how serious a mistake this can be.

As to the salary stuff....again, the important thing to me is that I am not making someone's bad situation worse.

Velvet, I DO want to thank you for all the help you gave me, and your patience. You truly ARE professional.

I'm going to stop talking now. It's really difficult with both of these feet in my mouth.

Edited September 15, 2012 by hgritstoo
missing thought

[Wendy Whitney]

I'm going to stop talking now. It's really difficult with both of these feet in my mouth.

Don't get Athlete's Tongue:eek:

[lola]

Sorry grits, popped out at me too. Have cut off people for showing up early and "scoping". Just too creepy to have a good session. Glad you learned from this.

I know i'm not out there talking about you or anyone else. I dont have any reviews or know other providers to buzz for myself.

Yes. Really really love my low paying career (not this) and really really love doing this. For as many people as there are doing this, there are a variety of versions of reasons. I feel sad reading that there are women out there struggling bc i love my choice. Be it the slut in me but i can honestly say that this is the happiest i have been in my life. My family knows, my friends know and my job knows. Nobody to out me to for me to give a damn. Agreed with velvet on the income amt. I just do it part time although most of my guys are turned on by that time of the month. I think bc i turn into an animal then.

Thank you for sharing all that you did. I love the threads that make me a better escort and more sensitive to your needs.

[Ryann]

{The golden rule of business is that “He who has the gold, makes the rules.”}

My golden rule is

"She who has the pussy makes the rules"

Don't ya all get your boxer briefs all twisted, like ya did the last time i said this.

because you know it's true!

ok im joking

NOT!

on the serious note:

BRAVO BRAVO

That was a great read, and very sincere.

I get it, I hope the rest did also.

I know it can't be a walk in the park for a newbie to jump in a hobby like this.

I felt almost the same way going to chatfield resevoir with a remote control airplane for the first time.. I knew NOTHING, and it's a whole to do over there.

life is scarey when you step into the unknown, not knowing all that goes into it.

Thanks for sharing your experience. Hopefully we will be more forgiving when we catch a newbie lurking around 45 min before the appt, and in my case 45 + the ten min. I always ask for extra. lol

glad to have ya in the community;)

[TheMouth]

I don't think you are paranoid, and I would do the same if TOFTT, as it is always a risk. I would rather error on the side of caution then end up going to jail. Believe me ladies are nervous too if they have no access to P411, or have never heard of it, and it makes for tension early on in the appointment. Happy hobbying.

[Flanker]

i had my first ever “hobby” encounter 1 year ago this week. I tend to be an analytical, introspective guy, but in the social universe i inhabit , there’s really no one i can discuss this stuff with. I have some observations i’d like to make. I am curious if others have had similar experiences or feelings. And i have some things i want to get off my chest. Thanks to all reading this thread for listening to me, and taking the place of a licensed psychotherapist. If anyone sees anything they think i have wrong, please let me know. I’m willing to learn. If you’re not interested, that’s fine too. I think there’s a thread on big boobs further down………

getting started is tough:

i did a lot of research for my first visit, primarily on ter. My first visit was to a nice backpage lady who has a few reviews on tob, many more on ter. There were two ladies i had decided on, and attempted to see. One screened…..and i didn’t have references. Since i was unwilling to reveal any personal information, i couldn’t see her. The second required no screening, and i set up a date.

groucho marx once quipped he would never join a club that would have someone like him for a member. I finally understood the wisdom of that quip. I was certain i had just made a date with le. I patrolled the entire hotel for 45 minutes before knocking on her door. I checked the parking lot for vehicles with government plates. I checked stairwells. After 45 minutes of vigorous, nervous hiking, i probably smelled like i had just visited the gym. Once in the room, i did not have the foggiest idea of how to proceed. I wouldn’t make the first move to get undressed. Since she had not screened me, she wouldn’t either. We finally broke the mexican standoff after she scolded me on my behavior, and gave me a safety lecture. I never saw her again, but i did get a taste of the forbidden fruit. I wanted more.

i did more research and settled on another lady. She screened….and this is when i discovered my first lady wouldn’t provide references. Dammit……i was back to square 1. This is when i finally understood: To find a high quality provider, at some point, you are going to have to provide “someone” with some personal information. Someone who is involved in an activity that our society frowns upon. how do you know who to trust? I’m no private eye. The lady i wanted to see had a very professional-looking website. She was mentioned by name in the narrative of a different provider’s website. She had lots of excellent reviews. And that was all i had to go on. I took a leap of faith, and gave her a great deal of personal info. Probably too much.

i cruised her neighborhood for a few minutes before our appointment…..looking for the dreaded le. Fortunately, i had found a true professional. My 2nd experience exceeded my wildest expectations. I was well and truly hooked. And, she provided a reference for a 3rd lady…in a different city….who would also provide references. I used those references to acquire a p411 account. Shazzam! I was a player! (not!)

i have been keeping to the p411 ladies since then. As it is no longer needed, i try to keep my personal info to myself. But, i still try to be careful….and maintain some level of situational awareness. This makes me appear shy and bumbling on my first meeting with a lady. And, i find i focus on improving one or two aspects of my perceived shortcomings from my previous first time encounters….to the point where i make horrendous new mistakes. Like a recent encounter where i gave the young lady an opportunity to steal my car. (she declined…if she’s reading this: Thank you!)

i still have a lot to learn.

i may be a lot more timid than the average guy…but i don’t think so. And, i understand why the ladies need to screen. But i feel that, in general, the ladies take for granted the sacrifices a guy has to make to see them. Maybe they’re used to a constant stream of confident, experienced, talented men with lots of time on their hands and nothing to lose…..but i don’t believe this either. The money is nothing. If we didn’t have it we wouldn’t come calling. But if a guy has a lot to lose, and selects the wrong lady……his life could be ruined. Combine that fear with the normal guy vanity stuff (do i smell like an open sewer, is my dick big enough, am i too ugly/old/fat/bald/inexperienced), and it’s a wonder we can get it up at all.

ncns:

this hurts, particularly when you have really been looking forward to meeting someone for a long time. Especially if this is your only sexual outlet. I travel a lot, and need to make arrangements far in advance. I rarely have the opportunity to make a spur-of-the-moment decision. Ladies, please don’t do it. Guys, please don’t do it to the ladies.

age….it matters:

i’m in my mid 50’s. I don’t need drugs, but where i used to be a high-powered semi-automatic rifle….i’m now pretty much a single shot muzzle loader. And don’t think for a minute that i am not painfully aware of what time has done to me. You may be very young and very pretty, but if you don’t understand this about me, we’re not going to click.

i have seen one provider with an age differential around 30 years from mine. This young lady was beautiful , and hotter than a 3-dollar pistol. She was also younger than <self snipping of what is probably a forbidden topic>. I felt icky for weeks afterward…..

i like beautiful, nubile women as much as the next guy, but if you are younger than certain people i know, you are going to make me very uncomfortable. Please be reasonably honest with your age. If you have lowballed it, i may pass over you because i believe you to be in that range that will make me uncomfortable.

the money:

this is not a poor man’s game. We all make trade-offs, and my situation is such that the hobby is my only possible source of release. I’ve seen 9 different ladies in the past year. Some several times. This may not seem like much to some, but it is 400% higher than my total for the 50-some years before this.

tally up the costs for the year, and i am over $7k. Yeah, there are some bigger-ticket adventures in there. I have splurged when i wanted to. But i was surprised at how quickly it added up. This is more than i had intended to spend, but less than i can afford. Lol…..and for some of you cynics out there……yes, the rent got paid. On time, even.

the ladies:

i believe the female form, in every single one of its infinite permutations, is the most beautiful thing in the world.

i very quickly had to change my perception of the asp. The stereotypical dim-witted, gum-chewing, bleach-blond with the “joisey” accent has not once opened any of the doors i’ve knocked on. Nor have any super-models or movie stars. They have all been fairly attractive, normal, well-groomed women with a surprising amount of intelligence and poise. Surely they can be successful in some other line of work? Why are they doing this? Why are they having sex with losers like me?

to assuage any guilt i may feel for taking advantage of a lady in a bad situation, i keep telling myself that they are very successful in a job they enjoy. After all, this is what they tell me in their ads…..and they wouldn’t lie, would they? I work numbers in my head, like: $250 per hour times 3 hours per day times 5 days per week times 52 weeks per year equals $195,000 per year…….. Tax free. This makes me feel good for them. I am learning first hand that….at least in some cases…..the part about them loving what they do may be a lie. This makes me feel bad for them. I have lost some sleep over this. Even though this is supposed to be a business relationship, i want to be a helper, not a hurter. If i find out a pimp is involved, that is an absolute deal killer for me.

a surprising thing i discovered: After a happy session with a lady, i feel very protective towards them. Never mind that most of the providers i’ve met could probably kick my scrawny white-bread ass in a stand-up fight. This is, i’m sure, a chemical response the human species has evolved over time. And it wears off after a little while. But it is very real, and i was surprised by how strong it is. No doubt this is the cause of “captain-save-a-ho” syndrome. I’m sure i have displayed it in many postings, and many old-timers have read them, recognizing it for what it was, laughing. So be it. It’s a nice feeling as long as you recognize it for what it is. I choose to look upon it as a benefit rather than a curse…..and so is born another white knight.

in addition to being incredibly talented, pretty, and experienced, some of the ladies i’ve met have just been nice…..very, very, nice. Scary nice. Bring-them-home- to-meet-mama nice. This, too, surprised me. More than anything else i’ve experienced in the hobby. Yes, i understand that it is part of the skill-set that makes them successful at what they do. Still, one must keep a very spock-like rein on one’s emotions. I have lost sleep over this, too.

i wonder if the ladies really know how they affect men, mentally? Yeah, they probably understand it on some instinctual level. But to really, truly understand it, and how to deliberately use that affect to achieve specific goals? To quote kipling: “the female of the species is more deadly than the male.”

the ladies guild:

all those websites the ladies can sneak off to and talk about us guys. Not to mention blacklisting us. Am i the only guy that wonders about this? I imagine a big room with greek columns and statuary, the ladies laying about discussing our various strengths and weaknesses in great detail, while chippendale dancers peel grapes and fan them with ostrich feathers. The review boards are the only intelligence source we men have to combat this massive word-of-mouth network….and they are flawed.

the power struggle

all i wanna do is just get laid. That’s not too much to ask, is it? Apparently, in this community, it is.

rule number 1, and i learned this the hard way: Don’t start a rate thread. Rule number 2, i’m still learning: Stay the hell away from rate threads others have started.

and of course, the over-riding rule above all other rules: Give the lady the donation she asks for, and stfu.

the golden rule of business is that “he who has the gold, makes the rules.” i’m not thinking that works in this situation. The truth is, as the customer, the only asset i am bringing to the table is my money. I am getting a service i want for that money. If the service is good, tip. And it should be as simple as that.

only it isn’t. Because this service involves emotions. Feelings. The clients sense of self-worth. The providers sense of self worth. There is a power-struggle here. Who has the upper hand? Some people get satisfaction from “being superior” to other people. No one wants to feel inferior. No one wants to feel like a rube. All of this struggle is played out over the vast arena of providers capabilities, clients desires, societal judgement in general, and the danger of outing either the client or provider. It is fascinating to watch. It is impossible to fully understand. It is the concentrated version of the human drama. Like any power struggle, there will be battles, cautious peace treaties, victories, alliances, and casualties.

and now, for better or worse, i’m a part of it. I’m a year wiser, and still learning. To the ladies that made my first year such an adventure: Thank you.

great post!!!!

[Gentlejeff1]

I like you have been doing this for about a year and am enjoying it immensely. Once I figured out how to find the professional ladies I became hooked. The world of professional escorts isn't some dark, scary place with a bunch of drug infested losers but a fun and enjoyable place filled with enthusiastic, educated professionals.

At first I was concerned like you about the power struggle, as you call it, but when I realized that the 2 parties simply enter into a temporary contract of our own free will with NSA I relaxed and just enjoyed the ride. In the mini-series Shogun, Mariko talked about the "willow world" of the professional courtesans. To me, when I'm with these ladies I set aside all my thoughts and concerns and drift into that world recognizing that in most cases they really do enjoy what they are doing and I do my best to make it enjoyable for them by being a good, considerate guy. Perhaps we need to start referring to the best ladies as courtesans.

[2Big]

TLDR.

Cliff Notes!

[Guest hgritstoo]

TLDR.

Cliff Notes!

I spent a lot of money, made an ass of myself, and fucked a lot of sweet, beautiful women. Some of them may even have enjoyed it.

Edited October 4, 2012 by hgritstoo
incomplete thought

[skotz]

The long version makes for a more interesting read ....

Good job!

[iCool]

LMAO.. I am in same boat as you were. And currently gathering references for P411 account. I avoided TOB, BP because of fear of STD which now I realized that I was ignorant dumb.

Obviously one has to be nice or human but "Captain-Save-a-Ho" is condescending. If you wish, u may donate at www.stjude.org ( their mails are more gratifying).

BTW: I totally agree NCNS really sucks. Although, I did get call back after once I was NCNS but I had already wasted my time. I hope with P411 I don't have to face NCNS.

anyway great read.