Posted August 12, 2012 not that i personally have said all of these, some are anecdotal, but: Really . . . I'm all in favor of polyandry I think we should see other people I can't believe I'm dating an escort Uh-oh I just locked us out of my house. I thought you said you were going to bring the condoms We haven't even gotten to 3rd base yet and . . . uh-oh, who's that knocking at my door? Pop down to the bar and bring back a corkscrew anyone care to share? 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 12, 2012 What I meant: "I have had over a week to imagine all the beautiful things we are going to do together. You are so damn hot we're only on item 2 and I'm already set to pop. Let's slow down!" What I said: " I have a plan!" 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 12, 2012 are you a cop? you look like my wife. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 12, 2012 are you a cop? you look like my wife. LOL, I have a client who see's me for this very reason. I wonder if that is a good or bad thing? 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 12, 2012 Do you come here often? Or, Do you CUM here often? 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 12, 2012 not that i personally have said all of these, some are anecdotal, but: Really . . . I'm all in favor of polyandry I think we should see other people I can't believe I'm dating an escort Uh-oh I just locked us out of my house. I thought you said you were going to bring the condoms We haven't even gotten to 3rd base yet and . . . uh-oh, who's that knocking at my door? Pop down to the bar and bring back a corkscrew anyone care to share? Do you have change. No have not asked this either. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 12, 2012 not that i personally have said all of these, some are anecdotal, but: Really . . . I'm all in favor of polyandry I think we should see other people I can't believe I'm dating an escort Uh-oh I just locked us out of my house. I thought you said you were going to bring the condoms We haven't even gotten to 3rd base yet and . . . uh-oh, who's that knocking at my door? Pop down to the bar and bring back a corkscrew anyone care to share? Sorry but I dropped the wine in your driveway. It shouldn't take long to count this and it doesn't come out of my session time, does it? (said while pointing at a large container filled with change.) I forgot my wallet but you can have my rodeo belt buckle. If my wife comes home just hide in the closet. You're not a shemale! Can you tie me to the ceiling fan and turn it on? Here, put this in my ass. (Holds out a large carrot.) Let's box. I think my wheelchair is broken. I knew you looked familiar! I work with your boyfriend. I made a shrine for you and every night I light the candles. This was my Grandmother's ring... I know your neighbor from the range. He's a cop. How much extra for my brother to join us? Here, just pee in this coffeepot. Let's go out to my treehouse! Uhmm, your pillow is on fire. I think we're snowed in. Will you go with me to Algeria? They don't extradite for white collar crime. I brought my tattoo gun. One of these I made up. Can you tell which one? 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 12, 2012 Your left ear is slightly bigger then your right. Your right eyes blinks faster then your left eye. You have that Brenda 90210 look. Everytime, everyone. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 12, 2012 Or, Do you CUM here often? I was punning the word "come" 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 12, 2012 I was punning the word "come" And I was just being obvious! 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 13, 2012 Hey I know you, you're the receptionist from work. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 13, 2012 LOL, I have a client who see's me for this very reason. I wonder if that is a good or bad thing? well, it could be worse, he could've said you look like his mother. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 13, 2012 I'm going to say "I think my wheelchair is broken." Not to insult you if you are/aren't a shemale I have no idea what you look like. But I'm going with wheelchair. Because some of these guys I think I know. Am I right?? Sorry but I dropped the wine in your driveway. It shouldn't take long to count this and it doesn't come out of my session time, does it? (said while pointing at a large container filled with change.) I forgot my wallet but you can have my rodeo belt buckle. If my wife comes home just hide in the closet. You're not a shemale! Can you tie me to the ceiling fan and turn it on? Here, put this in my ass. (Holds out a large carrot.) Let's box. I think my wheelchair is broken. I knew you looked familiar! I work with your boyfriend. I made a shrine for you and every night I light the candles. This was my Grandmother's ring... I know your neighbor from the range. He's a cop. How much extra for my brother to join us? Here, just pee in this coffeepot. Let's go out to my treehouse! Uhmm, your pillow is on fire. I think we're snowed in. Will you go with me to Algeria? They don't extradite for white collar crime. I brought my tattoo gun. One of these I made up. Can you tell which one? 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 13, 2012 Sorry but I dropped the wine in your driveway. It shouldn't take long to count this and it doesn't come out of my session time, does it? (said while pointing at a large container filled with change.) I forgot my wallet but you can have my rodeo belt buckle. If my wife comes home just hide in the closet. You're not a shemale! Can you tie me to the ceiling fan and turn it on? Here, put this in my ass. (Holds out a large carrot.) Let's box. I think my wheelchair is broken. I knew you looked familiar! I work with your boyfriend. I made a shrine for you and every night I light the candles. This was my Grandmother's ring... I know your neighbor from the range. He's a cop. How much extra for my brother to join us? Here, just pee in this coffeepot. Let's go out to my treehouse! Uhmm, your pillow is on fire. I think we're snowed in. Will you go with me to Algeria? They don't extradite for white collar crime. I brought my tattoo gun. One of these I made up. Can you tell which one? I have had all the bolded said to me as well. haha. I say that Algeria is the fake one. The rest seem reasonable, not necessarily rational, but reasonable. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 13, 2012 Here's a few I've heard since I began this job- "Don't you go to my church?" "Will you marry me?" "Don't stop no matter what I say, even if it hurts, and I'm begging you." "Tell me you love me." "Don't come to the front door. The building has security cameras. I put a ladder on the side of the balcony for you to climb up." "I need my hair cut. Do you cut hair too?" "I don't get paid till next week. Can I come over for a freebie?" "Is your hair real, or is this a wig?" (as they are pulling my hair:rolleyes:) "Will you pee in a cup for me so I can watch?" (Jennifer, we must see the same guy) "You look just like my sister." "Can you come over after I put my elderly dad to sleep? He won't hear us." "Will you tie me up and tickle me till I'm crying." "Can I have your underwear?" "Can I drink out of your shoe?" "Can we trade for yard work?" "Can you call my wife on Saturday and pretend you need me at the office so I can come over?" "I need you to come help me shaperone my daughter's Sweet 16 party to make my ex jelouse. How much for that?" 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 14, 2012 "I need my hair cut. Do you cut hair too?" There was a gal (years ago), a licensed beautitian, who did provide hair cuts as part of her service. It proved to be an excellent kitchen pass. Reading these exploits I feel absolutely 'vanilla'. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 14, 2012 Here's a few I've heard since I began this job- "Don't you go to my church?" "Will you marry me?" "Don't stop no matter what I say, even if it hurts, and I'm begging you." "Tell me you love me." "Don't come to the front door. The building has security cameras. I put a ladder on the side of the balcony for you to climb up." "I need my hair cut. Do you cut hair too?" "I don't get paid till next week. Can I come over for a freebie?" "Is your hair real, or is this a wig?" (as they are pulling my hair:rolleyes:) "Will you pee in a cup for me so I can watch?" (Jennifer, we must see the same guy) "You look just like my sister." "Can you come over after I put my elderly dad to sleep? He won't hear us." "Will you tie me up and tickle me till I'm crying." "Can I have your underwear?" "Can I drink out of your shoe?" "Can we trade for yard work?" "Can you call my wife on Saturday and pretend you need me at the office so I can come over?" "I need you to come help me shaperone my daughter's Sweet 16 party to make my ex jelouse. How much for that?" Thanks for outing all my good lines 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 14, 2012 "No, I don't want to finish in the bathroom while your friend uses the room." I just used that one about 10 minutes ago. Awkward. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 15, 2012 I'm going to say "I think my wheelchair is broken." Not to insult you if you are/aren't a shemale I have no idea what you look like. But I'm going with wheelchair. Because some of these guys I think I know. Am I right?? He actually said, "I think the battery on my wheelchair is in need of a charge" and I shortened it to "broken." I still chuckle about the shemale one--the guy was so drunk it was clearly a spontaneous utterance. Glad he spotted me as a real female right away, but I still wonder why he called in the first place. Maybe he should have hooked up with the "What's up, Doc?" guy. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 15, 2012 I have had all the bolded said to me as well. haha. I say that Algeria is the fake one. The rest seem reasonable, not necessarily rational, but reasonable. Like Velvet said, I think we're seeing the same guys. Algeria is entirely true. I suggested Vanuatu instead. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 15, 2012 Like Velvet said, I think we're seeing the same guys. Algeria is entirely true. I suggested Vanuatu instead. WOW, Algeria takes the cake for me. I have a scar on my right arm and the right side of my chest from a hotel fire where the pillow caught fire and opened up to spread all over me like hot sugar to only harden like candy on my skin. My "your pillow is on fire" experience. I am so lucky that my scars have faded to barely anything and it never touched my face. It could have been so much worse. Apparently we are seeing the same gentlemen who likes urine in a receptacle. haha My "Wheelchair is broken" comment involved a story where another well known and VERY well paid Denver provider headlined the event and was the reason the chair was broken. That story always left me with a lasting impression of said provider. If she did other ladies, I would have been between her legs by now. Good times... 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 15, 2012 "You're the best!" That reminds me... I visited a well-reviewed provider in the past year with high hopes. But, for whatever reason, we didn't hit it off. She tried her best. We hugged at the end of the session and she said, "Thanks for being so.... <long pause> standard!" My poor aged brain can't remember the exact word she used but it was something equally strange and goofy. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 20, 2012 I had a REALLY bad day at work and the cashier at Burger King REALLY pissed me off. You have your work cut out for you today. Me: "Oh Great!" 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
