Posted October 12, 2023 Some of you know about my step father. For of you that don’t let me just tell you that I have lost all confidence and every doctor on the face of this continent. 1st it’s pancreatic cancer then it was bile duct cancer, which double on size in one month! They were going in to remove the tumor from pancreas, to relieve pain, and they found a tumor in his aorta today. They also informed us it’s in his platelets, which means it’s in his blood, correct? The doctors even stated to him today this is just to extend your life. What fucking life? Extend a life of human that is in agonizing pain at all times ! At what point does a doctor stop seeing the money from big Pharma and start seeing that there is a human being in agony? When do you say it’s just enough? When do you give them enough morphine ? Very rough day…. 4 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 12, 2023 Hi Elle.... I went trough this BS when my dad was dying of cancer. They will never give you an answer because they really do not know. It's hard on the family and makes us angry. The one thing I knew, is that they are not miracle workers, just a lot of average people trying in vain to do their jobs. They at the LEAST should be trying to make you step father comfortable despite what they think might happen next! Makes me mad as Hell! All of my positive thoughts and prayers to you and your family. NO ONE should have to go through this ever. If you need to talk you have my number or you can PM me here. Again, I'm sorry you are going through this. Best wishes for you and your family......... 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 12, 2023 Sending Reiki I am so sorry for you and your family’s hardship! None of anything is fair about cancer and by now you would think there would be some cures?! It is horrible how they still treat it with Chemotherapy and radiation! My aunt who was very young also fought pancreatic cancer too and it was very heartbreaking for our family also. Sending reiki! ❤️🔥 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 12, 2023 Chemo and radiation = poison in your body. The effects of the treatment become as bad as the affliction. Doesn't generally provide relief or cure, just a different kind of misery. Doctors function under the direction of the insurance companies, pharmaceutical companies and lawyers. These entities are prioritized by cost containment (failing), profit maximization (succeeding) and risk mitigation (stick with the same old ineffective treatments - failing). None of that helps those suffering from life threatening disease. Blessing to those dealing with this nightmare..... 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 12, 2023 Elle: So sorry you and step father are going through this. It is a horrible situation many are faced with. Doctors try their best but the same could be said when leeches were the preferred treatment. That did not work either. As to the general topic of chemo and radiation and life extension, my personal opinion is - it depends. There are some forms of cancer that when caught early chemo and radiation can actually knock cancer into full remission and add years of "normal" life. I have seen some. In those cases it is probably worth the nasty effects of the treatment. On the other hand for the really aggressive ones like brain and sadly pancreatic and ESPECIALLY when they have metastasized just adding a few months of even more miserable existence makes no sense to me. Sadly, I have seen many of those as well. I strongly encourage anyone who gets the dreaded cancer diagnosis to demand their doctor be fully transparent and honest with them and encourage doing one's own research as well to understand in the individual's specific case how long an extension is likely and what quality of life during the extension. Not a one size fits all. Hopefully some day research will find better treatments. 5 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 12, 2023 1 hour ago, gr8owl said: Elle: So sorry you and step father are going through this. It is a horrible situation many are faced with. Doctors try their best but the same could be said when leeches were the preferred treatment. That did not work either. As to the general topic of chemo and radiation and life extension, my personal opinion is - it depends. There are some forms of cancer that when caught early chemo and radiation can actually knock cancer into full remission and add years of "normal" life. I have seen some. In those cases it is probably worth the nasty effects of the treatment. On the other hand for the really aggressive ones like brain and sadly pancreatic and ESPECIALLY when they have metastasized just adding a few months of even more miserable existence makes no sense to me. Sadly, I have seen many of those as well. I strongly encourage anyone who gets the dreaded cancer diagnosis to demand their doctor be fully transparent and honest with them and encourage doing one's own research as well to understand in the individual's specific case how long an extension is likely and what quality of life during the extension. Not a one size fits all. Hopefully some day research will find better treatments. That’s just it. Do they really try their best??? We haven’t given the runaround since March of this year when he was in the ICU. First kidney failure then in June he was in the VA hospital. What a wonderful place. Let me just tell you anybody that holds any respect for that institution is miseducated! I feel like they don’t except that we can handle the truth as people , individuals. in June he was told he had pancreatic cancer and black spots on his lungs. Then the next day they said oh, we mixed that up with somebody else. There aren’t any black spots on your lungs. Then it turned into this whole bile duct thing and they were going to remove his gallbladder part of his liver and the morning of the procedure. They changed it to removing the tumor on his pancreas and that’s when they found the tumor on his aorta. Now they’re saying it’s not may not even be cancer!! it’s just some other Nordal…. ??? It’s like cancer but it’s not cancer but it acts like cancer I mean what in the hell has happened since Covid to Dr’s ????? 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 12, 2023 1 hour ago, Elle Blake said: That’s just it. Do they really try their best??? We haven’t given the runaround since March of this year when he was in the ICU. First kidney failure then in June he was in the VA hospital. What a wonderful place. Let me just tell you anybody that holds any respect for that institution is miseducated! I feel like they don’t except that we can handle the truth as people , individuals. in June he was told he had pancreatic cancer and black spots on his lungs. Then the next day they said oh, we mixed that up with somebody else. There aren’t any black spots on your lungs. Then it turned into this whole bile duct thing and they were going to remove his gallbladder part of his liver and the morning of the procedure. They changed it to removing the tumor on his pancreas and that’s when they found the tumor on his aorta. Now they’re saying it’s not may not even be cancer!! it’s just some other Nordal…. ??? It’s like cancer but it’s not cancer but it acts like cancer I mean what in the hell has happened since Covid to Dr’s ????? That’s why it’s called a medical “practice”, they have not perfected it yet. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 12, 2023 (edited) 3 hours ago, MrReindeer-9515 said: That’s why it’s called a medical “practice”, they have not perfected it yet. Like the way you said it, just so sad! Why do we still use poison to cure still in this day and age? 😢 Edited October 12, 2023 by Kali Sensual Reiki 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 13, 2023 3 hours ago, Kali Sensual Reiki said: Why do we still use poison to cure still in this day and age? 😢 Because sometimes it works. As mentioned earlier in the thread, some forms of cancers are treatable in many patients. It's a personal decision those unfortunate folks afflicted with cancer have to make. One thing to remember is that you never have to take the advice of the doctors. Your life, your choice. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 13, 2023 On 10/11/2023 at 11:40 PM, Elle Blake said: Some of you know about my step father. For of you that don’t let me just tell you that I have lost all confidence and every doctor on the face of this continent. 1st it’s pancreatic cancer then it was bile duct cancer, which double on size in one month! They were going in to remove the tumor from pancreas, to relieve pain, and they found a tumor in his aorta today. They also informed us it’s in his platelets, which means it’s in his blood, correct? The doctors even stated to him today this is just to extend your life. What fucking life? Extend a life of human that is in agonizing pain at all times ! At what point does a doctor stop seeing the money from big Pharma and start seeing that there is a human being in agony? When do you say it’s just enough? When do you give them enough morphine ? Very rough day…. Im sorry you are going through this difficult time. My heart goes out to you. 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 13, 2023 Thanks for all your comments I appreciate them. My real concern in the end is my mother. She is my lifeline. She is my everything. She is my best friend. She is my hero. I used to think she was a saint and now I realize that she is a God of some sort,, shape or form. She is extremely intuitive! Maybe even clairvoyant. Do you know the saying mom’s always right? I kid you not my mom has never been wrong about anything in my life!!! Who I was hanging out with who I was going to marry ! Any choice that I made. She has been through so many struggles! She started her life in a Catholic orphanage and was there till she was six years old when she was finally adopted by my grandparents, she struggled with me. I was a shit ass of a kid!!! My sister went years without talking to her after my parents got divorced. She worked sometimes 70 hours a week so that my sister and I never went without anything, because there was no financial support from either father! Now this, it’s like it makes me so sad to watch her go through this and she’s 10 years older than him , I mean I’ve watched my mother age 5 years in the last two months, and she just wanted to retire and travel and have fun and she deserves everything but this ! 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 13, 2023 First off, I'm so sorry you're going through this with your family. Watching a parent age and get sick is never easy. I went through something similar with a parent. The thing to remember, surgeons want to cut. They're trained to do everything possible to try and save a life, but the aren't always focused on quality of life. It is so hard, but at some point the conversation gets to how the person wants to finish their days in the most comfort as possible. Everyone's path is different. Hugs to you and your family. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 14, 2023 Elle what can I say. Nothing will ease you or your mothers pain much less your father in laws problems. It is hard for both patient and family to go thru this. I feel than most doctors try their best but sometimes it is hard for them to give up as they don't like losing a patient or admitting failure as they are always hoping something can be done. I have noticed this especially in the cancer doctors. Sometimes they win and the pt either gets cured with minimal side effects from the treatment or has an extended good life. More often though both lose the battle but they can learn from the loss and hopefully offer better treatments to the next person who comes down with the dreaded "C". Cancer treatment has really improved over the years due to research looking for a better treatment and cure. I have had several friends who have had treatment for pancreatic cancer and 2 have survived and 1 did not but all were found in the early stages. I am a little surprised that they proceeded with the surgeries knowing that his cancer had metastasized esp. pancreatic cancer. That cancer I understand is difficult to cure when it has spread it is almost impossible. Did your father in law agree to the surgeries? I presume so. maybe that is why they did it. Sometimes when faced with certain death people will do anything for hope of a cure or an extended life. I had a friend with cancer and besides the usual treatments he even had Mississippi mud sent to him so he could eat it as someone told him it had helped someone they knew. He still did not beat it. It is my limited understanding that all patients must sign papers agreeing to a surgery of any kind. I wonder if he fully understood the risks and benefits and was he of sound mind when signing the papers for the surgery as he may have been under the influence of pain medications. Those are the questions you should ask you father in law and even your mother. Anyway I hope that you and your family get through this and I am thinking of you as I can tell that this is really hard on You and Your mother. I wish there was something that would take away the pain but just know there are people out there who care about you. 4 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 14, 2023 On 10/12/2023 at 1:24 PM, MrReindeer-9515 said: That’s why it’s called a medical “practice”, they have not perfected it yet. Agreed but sad. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 14, 2023 16 hours ago, Elle Blake said: Thanks for all your comments I appreciate them. My real concern in the end is my mother. She is my lifeline. She is my everything. She is my best friend. She is my hero. I used to think she was a saint and now I realize that she is a God of some sort,, shape or form. She is extremely intuitive! Maybe even clairvoyant. Do you know the saying mom’s always right? I kid you not my mom has never been wrong about anything in my life!!! Who I was hanging out with who I was going to marry ! Any choice that I made. She has been through so many struggles! She started her life in a Catholic orphanage and was there till she was six years old when she was finally adopted by my grandparents, she struggled with me. I was a shit ass of a kid!!! My sister went years without talking to her after my parents got divorced. She worked sometimes 70 hours a week so that my sister and I never went without anything, because there was no financial support from either father! Now this, it’s like it makes me so sad to watch her go through this and she’s 10 years older than him , I mean I’ve watched my mother age 5 years in the last two months, and she just wanted to retire and travel and have fun and she deserves everything but this ! Ellie, Help your Mom through this. It's your turn to help her, just like she's been there for you you're whole life. Now it's your turn to help her through a very hard time in her life. You can do this, I KNOW you can. You are so strong and can keep your family, your precious Mom in a good place, no matter what might happen next. All of us kids that have good parents that we love and respect eventually have to go through this. In the end, all we really have to hold on to is the love and respect we have for our family, our parents and really more, our Step Parents. Something more to say here. I had a "Step" Dad in my life that loved me and his "Step Grand kids" more than I possibly could have hoped for. What I'm saying is this: Family is family, there are no "Step Parents" They love you like family, like blood. And you should, like I KNOW you do, the same way. Ellie, be there for your Mom, she needs you more than ever in her life. You GOT THIS! Best wishes. Me....... 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 14, 2023 Oh my.... Elleie, may a friend or friends comfort your family and you during your challenging time. 4 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
