Moving forward / rediscovering myself

[sunshinelovely]

Moving forward with my life without sex work I'm uncertain of who I really am anymore

Escorting has been apart of my life for 10 years, it's how I identified myself n where I felt a sense of belonging

Even with the good times n the bad I'm going to miss it

I wonder who I am when I'm not a sex worker

What will bring me fulfillment? What else am I passionate about? 

I still want to be apart of the community but I have to move on from working

Is there any girls on here who gave up this kind of work n have felt lost afterwards? That is how I'm feeling..

This scene / community can be addicting n I feel like apart of me will be gone as I start living my life differently

Maybe a few of you will have some encouraging words to chime in with

I have much love for this community & hope that I can find another means of  gratification in my life.. 

・❥・

Edited October 10, 2022 by sunshinelovely

[sweetmoment]

Hi sunshinelovely, thank you for sharing. Change can be challenging. May you have peace and encouragement.

[sunshinelovely]

11 hours ago, sweetmoment said:

Hi sunshinelovely, thank you for sharing. Change can be challenging. May you have peace and encouragement.

definitely, I just feel a loss of purpose in life right now. I'm focusing on my spirituality. Replacing sex work with art work like diamond painting n coloring / creating. Hopefully it can bring me fulfillment. Thank you for your kind words. 

[average1]

Change can be so challenging.  If you can find a way to be curious about what your future might hold, you may find a path that fits you wonderfully.  At the same time, honor what you left behind while being open to what the future will hold for you.

[CountryGentleman]

Thanks for sharing!  Any major change is scary and exciting all at once.  I'm confident that you can make the jump!  One of my favorite quotes is "You'll always miss 100% of the shots you don't take." 

Go for it with everything you've got, learn as much as you can, make the best choices you can, don't look back with regret, but only to learn.  I'm sure there are several ladies on here that can and will help and they can point you to others who have done the same thing.

You go girl!!

[sunshinelovely]

4 hours ago, CountryGentleman said:

Thanks for sharing!  Any major change is scary and exciting all at once.  I'm confident that you can make the jump!  One of my favorite quotes is "You'll always miss 100% of the shots you don't take." 

Go for it with everything you've got, learn as much as you can, make the best choices you can, don't look back with regret, but only to learn.  I'm sure there are several ladies on here that can and will help and they can point you to others who have done the same thing.

You go girl!!

I'm just happy I can focus completely on my health / self care sexually n spiritually ( now I'm celibate ) n know that I've had an intense wild past decade of my life finally closing a chapter knowing I gave it my best n not all things work out how you expect it to. 

-Xxxo-

[sunshinelovely]

Been celibate for 58 days plans to keep it that way for a while. Having a hard time breaking away from the community 💔

Edited October 15, 2022 by sunshinelovely

[Bit Banger]

2 hours ago, sunshinelovely said:

... Having a hard time breaking away from the community 💔

I’ve been in S.TX for a few years.  Yes, it’s hard to break away from this community of friends. But the one does not automatically lead to the other.  There are several former providers who pop in to say “Hi!” or comment on a thread.

Best of luck on your transition.

[sunshinelovely]

4 hours ago, Bit Banger said:

I’ve been in S.TX for a few years.  Yes, it’s hard to break away from this community of friends. But the one does not automatically lead to the other.  There are several former providers who pop in to say “Hi!” or comment on a thread.

Best of luck on your transition.

Thanks you, even though I'm trying I just don't think I can get myself to stop completely. It's so hard. This is my only way of being social tbh. I'll probably be working on the side in the future I just feel so empty without it. Like a part of me is missing. I'm just not gonna be dedicating my whole life to it like I was before. I have to have another means of living besides this which will probably be art.

[Kali Sensual Reiki]

I quit for a period of five years and came back again 2002 through 2011 and stared up again in 2015/16. If you can try and remember that you are much more than what you do to earn money in life. I have always felt that reminder works for me. A career/job dosen’t define you! It only explains what you did or do  for a period of time to obtain a living. Nothing about you as an individual! I was also an accountant, a college graduate,  in life, a mother, wife, child, now grandmother!😁 my résumé continues. I am hopeful going to write a book on Sensual Reiki too. Their is power in what you are doing and in  changing your path with your employment is exciting! Yet it will never define you as a human being! We are all so much more! Light workers, healers, friend.

 

Edited October 16, 2022 by Kali Sensual Reiki

[Caressa Duval]

57 minutes ago, Kali Sensual Reiki said:

a mother, wife, child, now grandmother!😁

 

Kali, I agree with you! The meaning of life is not the career you have. It was being a Mother, that was the only thing that mattered!!! I sure hope this YL figures it out soon, she has everything she needs, her child! Much hugs Kali!

[sunshinelovely]

18 hours ago, Kali Sensual Reiki said:

I quit for a period of five years and came back again 2002 through 2011 and stared up again in 2015/16. If you can try and remember that you are much more than what you do to earn money in life. I have always felt that reminder works for me. A career/job dosen’t define you! It only explains what you did or do  for a period of time to obtain a living. Nothing about you as an individual! I was also an accountant, a college graduate,  in life, a mother, wife, child, now grandmother!😁 my résumé continues. I am hopeful going to write a book on Sensual Reiki too. Their is power in what you are doing and in  changing your path with your employment is exciting! Yet it will never define you as a human being! We are all so much more! Light workers, healers, friend.

 

A book would be awesome. You should go for it (: Im thinking of writing one too eventually. I love to write n I journal a lot.

17 hours ago, Caressa Duval said:

Kali, I agree with you! The meaning of life is not the career you have. It was being a Mother, that was the only thing that mattered!!! I sure hope this YL figures it out soon, she has everything she needs, her child! Much hugs Kali!

Well my kids are adopted. Schizophrenia makes daily life a bit harder but ya.

 

⁠♡

Edited October 17, 2022 by sunshinelovely

[sunshinelovely]

UPDATE! so I really did move on from being a provider... just sayin'. I thought I wasn't going to be able to do it! although I did break my celibacy again when I first moved out here... twice. I was trying the sugar daddy thing & then I was like nah... being a companion is so much better! IMO. I even gave this guy a chance to have some sort of intimate relationship with me & the day he was planning to come see me he didn't text or call me the whole day! so I blocked him ! seems like everytime I try to make plans with somebody they back out on me... but it's whatever. I enjoy my own company anyways. 

Hope everyone out there is doing good!  I'm interested being on the TOB discord if anybody can vouch for me and & wants to meet me for FREE lmk... I know I'm not actively working but I LOVE a good group chat!

Edited January 30, 2023 by sunshinelovely

[Kali Sensual Reiki]

I think you are a wonderful companion and I have seriously enjoyed getting to know you lady!  I don’t know much about he Sugar baby program. I think it is much better to stick with what you know.😍I also love your new pictures!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[sunshinelovely]

20 hours ago, Kali Sensual Reiki said:

I think you are a wonderful companion and I have seriously enjoyed getting to know you lady!  I don’t know much about he Sugar baby program. I think it is much better to stick with what you know.😍I also love your new pictures!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

you are a wonderful companion I really appreciate your kind words ! I think you are very beautiful ! I'm uploading all my photos from the beginning of me joining to TOB to now so I'm working up to the current ones ! I'm a bit chubby now but thank you ! -xxxo-

[coolhand luke]

The only thing in life that is constant is change.  Embrace it and it will embrace you.   I know several  ladies who have "retired" and have loved it but they also come back every once in awhile just for the fun of it. If you need that occasionally do it.    What you do does not solely define whom you are as Caressa said.  You are you and what you do for a living is only a part of what makes you.  Just remember that and enjoy what life throws your way!

[Kali Sensual Reiki]

13 hours ago, coolhand luke said:

The only thing in life that is constant is change.  Embrace it and it will embrace you.   I know several  ladies who have "retired" and have loved it but they also come back every once in awhile just for the fun of it. If you need that occasionally do it.    What you do does not solely define whom you are as Caressa said.  You are you and what you do for a living is only a part of what makes you.  Just remember that and enjoy what life throws your way!

Being disabled is SEXY! I am also disabled as of a year ago, I am legally blind. As for being chubby? We all are by living in the USA! Fattest country on the planet!! I am working on it. It is a constant struggle for me and now that it is getting warmer I am walking more again. Wishing I could jog. Lol not with these eyes! I drive a stick these days.

[brunodtc]

When I was brand new here you were a very patient and helpful person. I appreciate that you took the time to hear out my stupid questions when there was no client/provider thing going on. I hope to be able to pay that forward.

[sunshinelovely]

On 3/25/2023 at 7:34 PM, brunodtc said:

When I was brand new here you were a very patient and helpful person. I appreciate that you took the time to hear out my stupid questions when there was no client/provider thing going on. I hope to be able to pay that forward.

On 10/10/2022 at 3:47 PM, CountryGentleman said:

Thanks for sharing!  Any major change is scary and exciting all at once.  I'm confident that you can make the jump!  One of my favorite quotes is "You'll always miss 100% of the shots you don't take." 

Go for it with everything you've got, learn as much as you can, make the best choices you can, don't look back with regret, but only to learn.  I'm sure there are several ladies on here that can and will help and they can point you to others who have done the same thing.

You go girl!!

I'm just happy I can focus completely on my health / self care sexually n spiritually ( now I'm celibate ) n know that I've had an intense wild past decade of my life finally closing a chapter knowing I gave it my best n not all things work ou

On 3/23/2023 at 8:00 PM, coolhand luke said:

The only thing in life that is constant is change.  Embrace it and it will embrace you.   I know several  ladies who have "retired" and have loved it but they also come back every once in awhile just for the fun of it. If you need that occasionally do it.    What you do does not solely define whom you are as Caressa said.  You are you and what you do for a living is only a part of what makes you.  Just remember that and enjoy what life throws your way!

I love " working ". I honestly feel like it's the only thing I'm good at ! It's been hard moving on from it. I'm still attached & I'll probably never get away from it. I'm pretty strict on my screening though so that has lowered my work drastically. If I am inactive on p411 for a month then they will shut down my profile ! I don't want that to happen. I've had that profile since 2013 & I just can't get myself to let it go. I'm on here for the occasional fun, it's not an everyday thing anymore. Parting ways is hard. 

On 3/24/2023 at 9:20 AM, Kali Sensual Reiki said:

Being disabled is SEXY! I am also disabled as of a year ago, I am legally blind. As for being chubby? We all are by living in the USA! Fattest country on the planet!! I am working on it. It is a constant struggle for me and now that it is getting warmer I am walking more again. Wishing I could jog. Lol not with these eyes! I drive a stick these days.

I agree, it is sexyy ! 

On 3/25/2023 at 7:34 PM, brunodtc said:

When I was brand new here you were a very patient and helpful person. I appreciate that you took the time to hear out my stupid questions when there was no client/provider thing going on. I hope to be able to pay that forward.

This is such a sweet comment ! No question is stupid & I don't mind answering them ! I hope you are learning your way around here alright.

-Xxxo-

[Kali Sensual Reiki]

Remember once again, you are many things in life. We all must wear many hats in life. Yet, what we do does not define who we are. Working on our physical health and well-being especially since we are still young will seriously, benefit us in the long run. Take it slow and don’t become discouraged by life situations and rude talk! I know what it is like to hear harsh words from individuals who barely know you!  Keep your mind centered and your life goals in sink with where you wish to be.  Hey, you might consider creating a “vision board”, if you are not familiar with a vision boards you might want to look vision boards up on YouTube. There are some good videos that go into describing how to make one, but I think the best thing to do is to look at your board in the morning when you wake up and again look at the board before you go to sleep. also look at your goals written down with images of what reflects your need to aim for and the direction you want for your life to take. Also as you meet each goal you cross those ones off that have been completed and you aim for new higher goals. Being that most of us are visual creatures I seriously find that vision boards are highly effective To help create change in our lives. The imprinting on the subconscious mind is key! The human mind will store the images in your mind until the goal is completed and making a ritual our of looking at the board helps greatly to reinforce the outcome of change. Then you can re-create higher goals for yourself, and write those down in place of what I already achieved. I did this myself quite  a few years back and it really helped me! I need to do it again! Right now I have note cards and reiki symbols. I have some new lofty goals yet to meet. I am doing it a bit different is all. I guess I could say more compact with my approach now.👀 😂🥰

Best of luck to you @sunshinelovely

You need not do like me. I am only giving a suggestion. 

[Kali Sensual Reiki]

17 minutes ago, Kali Sensual Reiki said:

Remember once again, you are many things in life. We all must wear many hats in life. Yet, what we do does not define who we are. Working on our physical health and well-being especially since we are still young will seriously, benefit us in the long run. Take it slow and don’t become discouraged by life situations and rude talk! I know what it is like to hear harsh words from individuals who barely know you!  Keep your mind centered and your life goals in sink with where you wish to be.  Hey, you might consider creating a “vision board”, if you are not familiar with a vision boards you might want to look vision boards up on YouTube. There are some good videos that go into describing how to make one, but I think the best thing to do is to look at your board in the morning when you wake up and again look at the board before you go to sleep. also look at your goals written down with images of what reflects your need to aim for and the direction you want for your life to take. Also as you meet each goal you cross those ones off that have been completed and you aim for new higher goals. Being that most of us are visual creatures I seriously find that vision boards are highly effective To help create change in our lives. The imprinting on the subconscious mind is key! The human mind will store the images in your mind until the goal is completed and making a ritual our of looking at the board helps greatly to reinforce the outcome of change. Then you can re-create higher goals for yourself, and write those down in place of what I already achieved. I did this myself quite  a few years back and it really helped me! I need to do it again! Right now I have note cards and reiki symbols. I have some new lofty goals yet to meet. I am doing it a bit different is all. I guess I could say more compact with my approach now.👀 😂🥰

Best of luck to you @sunshinelovely

You need not do like me. I am only giving a suggestion. 

Sorry that might sound a bit disjointed? And if you have any questions feel free to question me. 

[sunshinelovely]

5 hours ago, Kali Sensual Reiki said:

Remember once again, you are many things in life. We all must wear many hats in life. Yet, what we do does not define who we are. Working on our physical health and well-being especially since we are still young will seriously, benefit us in the long run. Take it slow and don’t become discouraged by life situations and rude talk! I know what it is like to hear harsh words from individuals who barely know you!  Keep your mind centered and your life goals in sink with where you wish to be.  Hey, you might consider creating a “vision board”, if you are not familiar with a vision boards you might want to look vision boards up on YouTube. There are some good videos that go into describing how to make one, but I think the best thing to do is to look at your board in the morning when you wake up and again look at the board before you go to sleep. also look at your goals written down with images of what reflects your need to aim for and the direction you want for your life to take. Also as you meet each goal you cross those ones off that have been completed and you aim for new higher goals. Being that most of us are visual creatures I seriously find that vision boards are highly effective To help create change in our lives. The imprinting on the subconscious mind is key! The human mind will store the images in your mind until the goal is completed and making a ritual our of looking at the board helps greatly to reinforce the outcome of change. Then you can re-create higher goals for yourself, and write those down in place of what I already achieved. I did this myself quite  a few years back and it really helped me! I need to do it again! Right now I have note cards and reiki symbols. I have some new lofty goals yet to meet. I am doing it a bit different is all. I guess I could say more compact with my approach now.👀 😂🥰

Best of luck to you @sunshinelovely

You need not do like me. I am only giving a suggestion. 

I love vision boards ! thank you for reminding me (: I really want to get a bulletin board I can hang on my wall & make a collage board. I think that would be super cool ! I love the topic of our subconscious. I find it fascinating. I try to fill my mind up with good thoughts & focus on what I want & not what I don't want ! I've been trying to reprogram my mind for several years now. moving from a negative, blindsided point of view to a more positive & aware state of mind. your words are encouraging & your kindness goes a long way ! appreciate it  much love<3