Posted March 10, 2018 I know this isn't the ideal situation. But, it happens in real life. You're expecting when you meet it's going to all fireworks and completely fabulous. In actuality you have good session, but you just vibe more as friends. Really good friends with so much in common, and so much to share with each other. You want to be in each other's presence again, and stay in contact in any capacity, but you both know you'll be moving on to more compatible lovers. It could be devastating, but do you accept it for what is, and accept it for the reality of the situation you find yourself in, and keep it moving? I'm interested to hear thoughts from anyone who has experience with this... They can't all be homers hitting it out of the ballpark, just keeping it real. I'm sure providers and hobbiests have some experience with this. 7 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 10, 2018 Been there, done that, breaks the heart. Did it again, same result, Did it again, same result........ I think it's called "life" and even with all the pain, it is better than the alternative, which is called "death," or even worse, "celibacy." It is my opinion that most of the ladies you meet in this sport are a rare and beautiful group of intelligent and very interesting people (not all, of course, but quite a few), and it is hard for me to keep from falling in love on a fairly regular basis. Obviously, it is never reciprocal, so at best I end up falling in friendship. I get so tired of the "newbie threads," "rate threads," "review threads," etc. and love the way you always post about real stuff, Hunter, maybe soon we can try to hit it out of the ballpark and end up being friends Thanks. 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 10, 2018 Hunter Dear, I know EXACTLY what you mean 😎! I met a lady today that I connected with on so many levels and experienced a unique and completey satisfying visit. That was so very different from all the other visits I have ever experienced here. I want to stay in touch with her. I know that there are clients/provider boundaries. And I don’t want to cross any lines. But this woman captivated me and my visit with her was incredible. I know she is leaving soon. But I do hope she thinks to say hello when she’s away. I know I will think of her often and what we shared. Sometimes it’s not just about the physical session! Sometimes like today it was more about what we shared on a personal level. That has truly never happened to me before. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 10, 2018 1 hour ago, Hunter VanDyke said: I know this isn't the ideal situation. But, it happens in real life. You're expecting when you meet it's going to all fireworks and completely fabulous. In actuality you have good session, but you just vibe more as friends. Really good friends with so much in common, and so much to share with each other. You want to be in each other's presence again, and stay in contact in any capacity, but you both know you'll be moving on to more compatible lovers. It could be devastating, but do you accept it for what is, and accept it for the reality of the situation you find yourself in, and keep it moving? I'm interested to hear thoughts from anyone who has experience with this... They can't all be homers hitting it out of the ballpark, just keeping it real. I'm sure providers and hobbiests have some experience with this. I have to ask to be clear - are you asking if anyone has really connected with someone in the "hobby" as a FRIEND but then has no further interest in sex with said person? Or met someone you really connected with on friendship level AND find them a sexual turn on and wish to continue having sex with? My answer is if the first, no and if the second, absolutely YES. She says she feels the same. Both the friendship and the sex are awesome, but we both acknowledge relationship is not going anywhere further for many reasons. I have no idea if or when it will end, but I would be delighted if it never does because it is beautiful as is, and adds a great deal to my life and something to hers as well. Not for everyone I would guess, but working damn well for us. But again, if you mean the first where guy leaves thinking "damn I would love to have her as a friend, but not attracted sexually at all". THAT would be tough because I don't know how to break that to a lady, especially one who sells her time while engaging in sex related services. 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 10, 2018 3 minutes ago, gr8owl said: ... She says she feels the same. Both the friendship and the sex are awesome, but we both acknowledge relationship is not going anywhere further for many reasons. ... Yes!!! To all of the above. Sometimes we get together for just dinner & a movie. BCD time is still compensated, unless SHE says otherwise. She fills a hole in my life. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 10, 2018 11 minutes ago, gr8owl said: I have to ask to be clear - are you asking if anyone has really connected with someone in the "hobby" as a FRIEND but then has no further interest in sex with said person? Or met someone you really connected with on friendship level AND find them a sexual turn on and wish to continue having sex with? My answer is if the first, no and if the second, absolutely YES. She says she feels the same. Both the friendship and the sex are awesome, but we both acknowledge relationship is not going anywhere further for many reasons. I have no idea if or when it will end, but I would be delighted if it never does because it is beautiful as is, and adds a great deal to my life and something to hers as well. Not for everyone I would guess, but working damn well for us. But again, if you mean the first where guy leaves thinking "damn I would love to have her as a friend, but not attracted sexually at all". THAT would be tough because I don't know how to break that to a lady, especially one who sells her time while engaging in sex related services. To be clear. I am referring to the the 1st thing you mentioned. I agree with you, I also have many clients I connect with on a sexual and friendship level, and we see each other often, and we don't cross boundaries, and we could go on seeing each other forever and it's perfect for us. What I was referring to is when you meet someone, and sexually the fireworks aren't there, but in every other aspect in your body and mind the fireworks are there. I understand if you haven't experienced this before, but I feel like there has to be others who have. I just felt the need to post about this because it doesn't happen to me often. I could look at it like I did something wrong, or was there something wrong with me maybe. I'm sure this other person could feel the same way, but since we connected on a different level than we were anticipating, and I feel like we both got that connection, I was just wondering if others had experienced this. I would think that it would be hard to break it to the lady, and chances are most men would break it to her by simply not seeing her again. And She would break it to him by not seeing him again. I just felt the need to put out there that it's ok when this happens. it's not the end if the world. I just loved the way him and I handled the situation which could have become awkward and unpleasant, but because we both care so much about the hobby, and those of us who participate in it, the experience ended up being that much more rewarding. I might be rambling, but I really hope there are some other folks out there on both sides who can relate. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 10, 2018 (edited) Yep. That definitely happens. It's pretty rare in this place but you are definitely not alone. There are certainly boundaries you are told not to cross, yet people are still people and sometimes they click in a different ways. Sometimes I meet someone and we just really enjoy spending time together even if we know we're destined to move on. There are so many ways to appreciate someone. Fireworks or friendship, both are important. My suggestion is to enjoy the experience, indulge in the company and don't spoil it worrying about the final outcome. Who knows, you might find it changes over time to be even more fulfilling if you accept go along with it. Edited March 10, 2018 by LuckyJack777 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 10, 2018 6 minutes ago, LuckyJack777 said: Yep. That definitely happens. It's pretty rare in this place but you are definitely not alone. There are certainly boundaries you are told not to cross, yet people are still people and sometimes they click in a different ways. Sometimes I meet someone and we just really enjoy spending time together even if we know we're destined to move on. There are so many ways to appreciate someone. Fireworks or friendship, both are important. My suggestion is to enjoy the experience, indulge in the company and don't spoil it worrying about the final outcome. Who knows, you might find it changes over time to be even more fulfilling if you accept go along with it. I love this, and you are absolutely right, it could move beyond an amazing friendship. We can be a different way in sessions, and learn to figure out what the other needs, and and change some ways to make the other happy, as in all relationships. Because it's a paid event, idk if that's likely. I mean, why not pay for a girl you know can hit all your bells and whistles, but I would definitely be open to that if we chose to give it another go. 💛💛💛 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 10, 2018 This is beginning to sounds like “let’s be friends” of the dating world. 😟 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 11, 2018 1 hour ago, Bit Banger said: This is beginning to sounds like “let’s be friends” of the dating world. 😟 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 11, 2018 It seems to me that "let's be friends" in the hobby world should be much easier than in the dating world. First off, you have relieved any sexual tensions with....sex! Secondly, one seldom spoken of problem with "lets be friends" is that when one or both of the "friends" acquires a new significant other, that usually kills the living shit out of the friendship since the S.O. tends not to be down with it. That's certainly less of a problem in the hobby world! 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 11, 2018 3 hours ago, gr8owl said: 😂😂😂😂 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 11, 2018 I have several friends on here that I’ve never had a session with but we’re just good buds. I think though that you’re referring to having a session first, then figuring out you’re friends. Yep had that happen too. It’s never been awkward though. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 11, 2018 Totally agree with Melissa on this. Each encounter is different and adds something special to you. 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 11, 2018 Hey, we all get to have our rational brain and decision making. Sometimes you choose to override what doesn't feel great, and other times, not. At the end of the day, we each need to decide what is best for us and then try to be content with that. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 11, 2018 19 hours ago, Hunter VanDyke said: I love this, and you are absolutely right, it could move beyond an amazing friendship. We can be a different way in sessions, and learn to figure out what the other needs, and and change some ways to make the other happy, as in all relationships. Because it's a paid event, idk if that's likely. I mean, why not pay for a girl you know can hit all your bells and whistles, but I would definitely be open to that if we chose to give it another go. 💛💛💛 You know Hunter Dear, I have been following this thread and the main thing I notice is that you are a very caring, loving, kind and compassionate person! I woul dbe willing to bet that you have deep friendships with those you care abo.ut You probably showed him a side of you that not many others are privileged enough to see or know. And He probably feels very special that you shared this with him! And I bet this lucky gentleman knows this too and probably feels some sort of similar feelings as you do! At least I hope for his sake he does! I wouldn't sell your self short. I would bet you a BJ he'll want to see you again! It could be he had an off day, or a long drive or some other issue, but if he wants to see you again, he will! And JUST maybe the fireworks will go off! Oh, you might have noticed I call you Hunter Dear. And NOT Dear Hunter. I don't want folks to think you are a Bambi killer.. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 11, 2018 7 minutes ago, a_happycamper_12 said: Oh, you might have noticed I call you Hunter Dear. And NOT Dear Hunter. I don't want folks to think you are a Bambi killer.. Lol. You always make me laugh.💕 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 11, 2018 1 minute ago, Hunter VanDyke said: Lol. You always make me laugh.💕 I think I'd like to hear you laugh! 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 11, 2018 On 3/10/2018 at 1:01 PM, BadBoy said: I think it's called "life". I get so tired of the "newbie threads," "rate threads," "review threads," etc. and love the way you always post about real stuff, Hunter, maybe soon we can try to hit it out of the ballpark and end up being friends I've been fortunate. I never expected to receive...but I have. My 1st in 2015 is retired. We talk, text, email at least weekly. We're totally open with each other. I appreciate the friendship. One that's active is literally my mentor, confidant, and only on occasion now, we hook up. I'd take a bullet for her. Some days, weeks, we text as much as 50 plus times a day. Call each on occasion, have lunch or dinner together, and sometimes not alone but with some of our peers too. But only lunch or dinner, no follow up. There is one that her and her SO are totally involved in our lives. Only from a plutonic position. I have a load of friends that I've met here like that. Sometimes we fish, shop, run errands, do laundry (I have a washer/dryer). I could go on and on, but a lot is to be kept private. Some that I get along with, get a chance to meet others too. On Christmas I cooked prime rib for 4, me and 3 Ladies. One of my best Friends, when I 1st met her told me how lonely it can get in the Got Damn hotel rooms, it's one of the reasons I never ever visit a hotel anymore. I get so sad when someone tells me they really have no friends, and advertise night and day, daily. I like your thread...thank you. 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 13, 2018 Hunter, responding to your original post, I've had that happen to me in the past with a close friend of mine. The first time we had the opportunity to take it to the next levelnothing happened. Now I'm positive it was actually me feeling the pressure making love to this wonderful person, considering all the things we had in common and the great times we had together....I couldn't get out of my head and I'm afraid it was the same for her Maybe, and I'm just saying maybe you are reading this wrong and the other person really wanted to have a fireworks session with you but for whatever reason he couldn't. I don't think there is a man in this world that wouldn't want to make sweet love to a woman he enjoys spending time with, specially if there is that deep connection between the two. (And specially if she looks like you... DAAYUM!) Maybe that's not true for all men and I'm just basic. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 19, 2018 Hunter, in my younger days. I had the opposite happen many many times. Know a lady in the industry as friends for years sometimes decades without sex.Then one day,that changes. Friendship continues and doesn't feel weird at all. Just better benefits. -1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
