Connection with a provider?

[stevie-2249]

What makes it feel like you really have a connection with a provider? 

It is their job to make you feel good and make you happy.

[BadBoy]

Sometimes, and it doesn't happen all that often, but it does happen, it will feel like she really enjoys her job when she is with you.  In my world, that creates a connection and also qualifies her as an ATF.

[Guest]

2 hours ago, stevie-2249 said:

What makes it feel like you really have a connection with a provider? 

C'mon Stevie. Why you axing questions you already know the answer to? 

[Guest]

3 hours ago, stevie-2249 said:

What makes it feel like you really have a connection with a provider? 

Okay. Even though its a pimp question, I'll play along. Although I've never experienced it my self, I imagine it might go like this: a afternoon session extends into cocktails and dinner and ends with a wake up blowjob and breakfast in bed the next morning. That's when you feel like you have a real connection with a provider...or you're the DemureMorman. 

[nairobi09]

I have never had a provider want to stay overnight.  In London I met providers willing to go  out for dinner, etc. In Chicago I met a European woman who went out for a late dinner with me.

Still I have met some women around here where felt some sort of connection, just based on a combination of personality, the physical connection, or something like 'feel.' We can tell when I provider is not interested in you in any way other than $$. 

At the risk of sounding 'corny' I think men want women with a warm heart, even when they are paying.

 

[ironman318]

It's all a wonderful play. We act, they act, most importantly we get our rocks off and go back to everyday. All of it wrapped up in a perfectly definable business transaction. Of all my hobbies this ranks in the top 3 and a lot more fun than paying for therapy. Same business model btw. 

[stevie-2249]

Pimp yea right lol! 

Axing this question because seeing in some reviews guys say there is a Connection, well what kind of connection? If a lady enjoys her job or not they put on one hell of a peformance because you pay for that performance, doesnt mean there is any kind of connection is there? 

Maybe if you see a lady alot and maybe go out to dinner or she cookd dinner for you or does special things for you but not for other people i believe that would be A connection and yes even staying the night and not paying for the whole night she might have a connection with you.

[Guest]

9 minutes ago, stevie-2249 said:

Pimp yea right lol! 

Axing this question because seeing in some reviews guys say there is a Connection, well what kind of connection? If a lady enjoys her job or not they put on one hell of a peformance because you pay for that performance, doesnt mean there is any kind of connection is there? 

Some guys are saps, dontcha think?

And no, there is NO connection. We're all alone. Get over it. 

[ironman318]

That's great Stevie you have found the holy grail of hookers. Words of wisdom don't wish it away but don't think it lasts forerver.

[Guest]

You can't ask what makes a connection. It just IS or IS NOT. Another word for it is "Chemistry". No one can give you a description of what that looks like. It is very different for each person.

Doing extra little things for our clients, like cooking dinner, is most likely a show of appreciation or friendship. Not proof of a connection.

Staying over night off the clock could just mean, she was too drunk to drive home  oops

[Guest]

26 minutes ago, Kashmir said:

Staying over night off the clock could just mean, she was too drunk to drive home  oops

See its behaviour like this what gets us saps confused. We're thinking, "well gee, if she felt so comfortable to get wasted with me, I must be a hellofaguy and a first class lay to boot?" When in reality...

she was passed out in the self same hotel the nite before with some other sap.

Bless her heart. 

Edited May 21, 2016 by Raoul
please

[jhooker]

I always make connections, some deeper than others. First you have to connect with yourself, have that inner contentment, like for yourself, like no matter where you are it's great, even if your alone. Then regardless if the person your with is really digging you, you dig yourself, and them as well. That kind of positive vibe is attractive. Even when a person at first clearly doesn't like you, they are intrigued by your self reliance and confidence, like a cat wanting to figure out why is this rodent so fucking happy?

[Scarlett Dayne]

Connections... What are they really, and how do we find real connections?

One thing to always remember: None Of Us Are Ever Alone.

Honestly... Looking to fill voids in your life, and looking to get your needs met by hiring an escort is probably the last place you should be traveling towards on that path. I gain nothing financially or monetary by telling you the Truth about Life...yet lol.

You must know Who your Source is, and then be completely reliant upon that Source for ALL things in your Life. Is it scary? Yes, but perfect Love casts out all fear. Is it safe? Yes, but it is a dangerous mission. Is it worth your time, effort and courage? Yes, but it will take a lot of it.

Those who fail to seek, find and pursue this will look for other people and things to fulfill them with all their needs... be it Happiness, Security, Appreciation, Financial Stability, Feeling Loved, Feeling Wanted, Feeling Needed/Useful, etc etc etc...

Every time they will eventually come to experience deep levels of disappointment in people, in their jobs, in their material possessions and in their Life in general.

People are not capable of being what we Need in our lives. We have unrealistic expectations of people for roles they simply have no way of ever being able to accomplish successfully.

Then when they fail us we get angry, disappointed and hurt. Then after that we set out on a path of revenge or self-destruction (we shut down/close off our hearts so no one else can hurt us again, we drink/do drugs to numb the pain, we do the very thing to others that was done to us so other people will hurt like us, etc etc etc) because we put all our Trust in a person or people. Do NOT do that. It's a recipe for disaster.

You must know your Source, put ALL your Trust in that Source, seek ALL things through your Source and then you will be a completely confident AND content person because of your Trust you placed in the RIGHT Source. People are NOT your Source.

You want to experience a real connection that's ALWAYS on your side, and ALWAYS wanting Good for you and your Life?

What reason do I have to tell you this when it has potential of hurting, not helping, my business? I am seeking to gain nothing here on Earth from giving you any Truth.

So why would I tell you this?

Because other people's Quality of Life is way more important to me than a fat bank account.

Fat bank accounts are sure nice lol, but a soul at rest full of Love, Peace, Contentment and Purpose is extremely PRICELESS...

Contact me privately if you want to know more about this Source ;-)

[BadBoy]

The previous posters have all made similar points: you will not find true love in a sporting endeavor, and if you have a deep hole in your soul, a sporting companion will not fill it.  When reviewers say that they have a "connection" it does not mean that they have found true love, or that the young lady is so smitten that she plans to provide free companionship.  I think they mean, at least what I mean, is that that you have sensed the real person behind the costume (we all wear costumes, even when naked), and you kinda liked that person - in a very small number of cases, you can tell that the young lady has sensed the person behind your costume and actually also enjoys spending time with you (not so much that she wants to provide free companionship, start dating, etc., just enough that she is happy when you call and offer to pay her full rate for a hour of her time and companionship).

Over my lifetime, I have probably spent time with 150 ladies (about 1/3 as real girlfriends and wives) and had a really good connection with, maybe, a dozen.  I'm still married to one, and 5 are my current ATF sporting companions.  Those are not great odds, but it is just about like everything else - the gold/dross ratio in all relationships (work colleagues, friends, etc.) always seems to be about 1/10.

The key to happiness in this sporting endeavor is that when you find a nugget of gold, one that you enjoy seeing and that enjoys seeing you, you hang on to them.  That is why you see some reviewers start out with "I have seen Star at least a dozen times..."

BTW, that does not mean you cannot enjoy your time with a young lady when there is no connection, it just means you are not likely to return, unless the activities were so great that your attitude is: "So what if there is no connection - she is lots of fun to fuck with."  In my current situation, I am lucky enough to have enough ATFs that I don't usually stray.

Also BTW, this does not at all conflict with Raoul's comment that we are all alone.  I figured that out a while ago - I really am alone in the universe.  However, that doesn't mean that you can't grab onto another soul, also floating alone through the universe, and intertwine your touch, smells, tastes and fluids for an hour, and forget about everything else.  Being alone doesn't necessarily mean you have to be lonely.

[jhooker]

Scarlet and bad boy: loved your posts, and we must be close in what we are trying to get across. Like in the movie American Beauty, where the boy is showing his private videos to the neighbor girl and the life he sees in a bag blowing around caught in a cyclone, and the life and beauty he sees around him every day, and his heart feels that connection. When you have that kind of inner life, that tap into the source, then there is value and beauty and connection at every turn. 

Also, I feel like the source protects us from disappointment, in a sense it's like even if someone is evil toward you, it doesn't effect our inner happiness, we can still appreciate whatever good we saw or experienced with that dark person, and move on looking forward to the next adventure.

I tell my young adult children, who are in and out of relationships, and they get so heart broken, there are billions of people, literally potential connections everywhere. 

I think in this digital age, one must appreciate more the all around beauty then focus too much on just one person, at least that's how it appears with the young, always out there digitally even when in an old world relationship. 

In that sense, us in the hobby are ahead of the game, we are more prepared for the new world and new relationships then the status quo. While they hunt us, their own monogamous relationships crumble.

[LesisMore]

Badboy thanks for your post!   It is spot on and came at a very good time.   Your perspective will help me sort out my feelings and thoughts as relates to the relationship I have with my #1 ATF.    I can't get this girl out of my head, but ... it is not love.    I love my wife, I love my family; however, I really like spending time with this young lady.   And, I rationalize that my frequent contributions are helping a single mom make a better life for herself.   I am probably being naive but it makes me feel better and I guess that counts?

[TrystinTrimble]

There is honestly nothing less appealing to me than when im spending time with a guy who continually reiterates that he "really wants to connect with me, why am I not opening up to him?" This is usually accomanpanied by barely listening to me, with him getting cranky/sulky when I have to get up to pee or when we...drumroll....don't connect. Eesh, that makes for a long hour.

 

What those guys seek, can't be forced, faked, bought, or conjured up at will. One client of mine comes to mind, who,  just FUCK ME, I cannot resist this guy. If you can do to me what he does for me, then I wanna do it with YOU. SRSLY.

 

[BadBoy]

What those guys seek, can't be forced, faked, bought, or conjured up at will. One client of mine comes to mind, who,  just FUCK ME, I cannot resist this guy. If you can do to me what he does for me, then I wanna do it with YOU. SRSLY.

Now that is what I call a real connection!

[Lucy Kitten]

21 hours ago, LesisMore said:

Badboy thanks for your post!   It is spot on and came at a very good time.   Your perspective will help me sort out my feelings and thoughts as relates to the relationship I have with my #1 ATF.    I can't get this girl out of my head, but ... it is not love.    I love my wife, I love my family; however, I really like spending time with this young lady.   And, I rationalize that my frequent contributions are helping a single mom make a better life for herself.   I am probably being naive but it makes me feel better and I guess that counts?

Why can't it be love? Why do always assume love to be the silly romantic kind? Love is love. The love I have for my best friend is the same love I have for my partner I just act on the lovey feelings differently.

[pfunk]

52 minutes ago, Lucy Kitten said:

Why can't it be love? Why do always assume love to be the silly romantic kind? Love is love. The love I have for my best friend is the same love I have for my partner I just act on the lovey feelings differently.

Agreed! I love my girlfriend, my family, my friends, co-workers, etc. Sex is only a small part of that, and reserved for non-family adults.

I can "love" an escort, while only seeing, or communicating, with her, occasionally. 

[Guest]

1 hour ago, Lucy Kitten said:

Why can't it be love? 

Because of the money. If I'm paying you to be with me, there are a lot of things we could call that, but I don't think love would be one of them. Love-ish maybe. 

[stevie-2249]

When your married and in love your still paying for it!

[pfunk]

5 minutes ago, stevie-2249 said:

When your married and in love your still paying for it!

Lots of people say this, but it's rarely true. Most couples under 40, that I know, either pool their money, or split the bills, so the guy is definitely NOT paying for it. With many couples the women earn more than the guys. The old model of guys working, and women staying home, is pretty rare in the U.S. these days. Even when the women stay home, it is usually agreed upon by both people, and set up as a division of the marital jobs. One goes outside the home to earn money, one stays home to raise the kids, and maintain the home. Considered equal contributions. All accounts are jointly owned. Nobody pays anybody. It's all hands pulling for the family team!  

 

 

[stevie-2249]

15 minutes ago, pfunk said:

Lots of people say this, but it's rarely true. Most couples under 40, that I know, either pool their money, or split the bills, so the guy is definitely NOT paying for it. With many couples the women earn more than the guys. The old model of guys working, and women staying home, is pretty rare in the U.S. these days. Even when the women stay home, it is usually agreed upon by both people, and set up as a division of the marital jobs. One goes outside the home to earn money, one stays home to raise the kids, and maintain the home. Considered equal contributions. All accounts are jointly owned. Nobody pays anybody. It's all hands pulling for the family team!  

 

 

Ok lol! Ill let you live your own little fantasy.

[SultryKitten]

I do agree on the love thing.You can love people in different ways...isn't that what God wants from us to love others? I do care for all my clients and whether I see them regularly or only once, I still send them my blessing that they live a well and prosperous life when they leave every time. When they come to me for their troubles, I pour my love their way to give them a sense of peace, and let them know that at least someone cares for their well being. To do this job well, I do feel you have to care or this would eat you alive. I am a natural healer...always wanting to fix others. LOL! I will say that I am picky, and to keep this side of my life more safe(less drama free), I will do things in a manner to get the clients I would like to see regularly. I don't think bad of others, I just want them to find what they are looking for, and I intuitively know that I wouldn't be a fit.

xoxo,

Samantha Sheppard

[TrystinTrimble]

On 5/21/2016 at 6:46 PM, stevie-2249 said:

Pimp yea right lol! 

Axing this question because seeing in some reviews guys say there is a Connection, well what kind of connection? If a lady enjoys her job or not they put on one hell of a peformance because you pay for that performance, doesnt mean there is any kind of connection is there? 

Maybe if you see a lady alot and maybe go out to dinner or she cookd dinner for you or does special things for you but not for other people i believe that would be A connection and yes even staying the night and not paying for the whole night she might have a connection with you.

Honey, honey,  honey. I'm here to tell YOU; that if I am feeling NO connection, then you could never pay me enough to get the "performance" that you want. Performance artists are people too, and women-people  can just as readily tell that someone has us pegged as a novelty item/circus seal. The ones who CAN put up with "anti-chemistry" are the ones we call "luxury companions " aka "high dollar ho's."  There's a REASON that I can't pull 800 bucks an hour and it's not about looks. I'm luscious as fuck, but I simply cannot pretend I like someone/can't resist someone who in reality; makes my day suck AND keeps poking me with their weiner while I try not to punch them in the jowls. Those who can, those are some bad bitches who I must tip my hat to and concede that they eat pieces of shit like me for breakfast 

...but I'm guessing THOSE ladies are even less worth the cash to ya than us mid level plebs, yes?

[ironman318]

For me it's lust (I.e., a very strong sexual desire) opposed to love. Not only because of the transactional component  but also the short amount of time spent together. I have been seeing acne of my ATFs for about a year and a half now and I don't think that we have spent more than forty-eight hours together.

Perhaps Raoul nailed it with "love-ish" and I know that when dealing with feelings/emotions there is no one correct answer. 

Ultimately the reason I enjoy this so much is because I can leave my baggage at the curb, stay for a time, and pick it up again on my way out.

It's so much fun, so simple, and much easier than dating or being or being in a LTR.🤓

[fishndude57]

Too much thought in a lot of this thread, me included. To me connections gonna be respecting my peer, key word respect, being able to communicate with them. Simply the "Golden Rule" applies. If not I hit the road. 

[ironman318]

29 minutes ago, ironman318 said:

For me it's lust (I.e., a very strong sexual desire) opposed to love. Not only because of the transactional component  but also the short amount of time spent together. I have been seeing acne  (wanted to type one) of my ATFs for about a year and a half now and I don't think that we have spent more than forty-eight hours together.

Perhaps Raoul nailed it with "love-ish" and I know that when dealing with feelings/emotions there is no one correct answer. 

Ultimately the reason I enjoy this so much is because I can leave my baggage at the curb, stay for a time, and pick it up again on my way out.

It's so much fun, so simple, and much easier than dating or being or being (studder font on) in a LTR.🤓

Sorry for the typos ladies and gents

[ironman318]

11 hours ago, Lucy Kitten said:

Why can't it be love? Why do always assume love to be the silly romantic kind? Love is love. The love I have for my best friend is the same love I have for my partner I just act on the lovey feelings differently.

when you use the word partner are you speaking of clients?