Posted September 21, 2014 Here's a convo I had with another provider. Did I miss something or is she just high on her on bitch stick? Me: Hi *hername*! *hisname* gave me your number as a ref. Wanted to verify he's safe. ~Justina (gavehermywebsite) 4:04 PM *hername*: ? 4:04 PM Me: Sorry: his # is xxx-xxx-xxxx 4:06 PM *hername*: Confused 4:06 PM Me: Are you an ASP? If not then he gave me a bad number. 4:07 PM *hername*: What is asp 4:15 PM Me: Adult Service Provider 4:24 PM *hername*: I'm a dominatrix and he sessioned with me 4:32 PM Me: Thank You! In that case...I'd like to see you for myself!!!! Have a WONDERFUL night! I appreciate the response. xoxxo 6:11 PM *hername*: Are you make or female 6:11 PM Me: I'm female. I'm an actual Escort. My site is ...... I have my own interests in the BDSM world. I am much of a newbie tho. I make men submit to me (not in your true fashion) but would love to submit to a woman to learn. I'm based out of CO. just in Vegas for [removingforthethread]. 6:13 PM *hername*: Should I contact *hisname*? I'm super confused 6:42 PM Me: NO! I was just verifying that he was SAFE! You said you've seen him and that was good enough for me. Thank you! 6:42 PM *hername*: So don't contact him? 6:43 PM *hername*: So you're seeing him? That's kind of strange you knowing that our time is money that you would just waste my time lol 6:44 PM Me: yes, he will be here soon for me to see. exactly! 6:44 PM Me: have a wonderful evening!!! 6:44 PM *hername*: That's completely idiotic of you to waste my time, whatever 6:45 PM Me: You have me a little confused as to how I wasted your time. *hisname* gave me your name/number as a reference to verify you had seen him and that he was safe and not a cop. That's my whole reason for reaching out to you. I didn't know you were a Dominatrix. I wouldn't come see you personally and waste your time. Our time is money and I respect that! 7:13 PM *hername*: It's lame he had an escort contact me to see if I was a cop. Anyway, I'm done. 8:54 PM *hername*: And you are contacting me from his number! It's probably him being lame. No More texts jerkoff 8:54 PM (How in the world she thought I'm texting her from his number is beyond me!!!!) 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 21, 2014 Hmmm, I guess once a dominatrix always a dominatrix. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 21, 2014 Yes. You missed out on living a life as a crazy druggie that can't keep their thoughts straight. Sounds like she didn't. Just speculating. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 21, 2014 So, I guess you're not going to book with her?;) 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 21, 2014 And I thought selling widgets got weird. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 21, 2014 I was hoping that the dominatrix would conclude by suggesting a doubles session at which she would spank both you and the mutual client. Oh well, no "happy ending" to this one. Let the goofball dominatrix spank herself. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 21, 2014 Considering that many/most professional dominatrix do not perform any sort of "sexual activity" (unless they are an escort world as well), I personally would not use one for a reference on an escorting client unless I know for sure, nor would I accept a "massage only girl" for a reference for an escorting client. It's nothing against anyone, but the services are totally different. If your going to get a reference for an escorting appointment, wouldn't you wanna know they were safe for those activities that you MIGHT engage in? Wouldn't you want to get "escort references"? Cops can see dominatrix legally all day long. Hence maybe why she behaved that way. Who knows. But that's my own opinion. Good luck and be safe! 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 21, 2014 (edited) ...If your going to get a reference for an escorting appointment, wouldn't you wanna know they were safe for those activities that you MIGHT engage in? ....! Me: Thank You! In that case...I'd like to see you for myself!!!! Have a WONDERFUL night! I appreciate the response. xoxxo 6:11 PM Sounds like she didn't know the reference was a dominatrix & not an escort until mid-way into the text'ing. (And, it's perfectly legal to see an escort. Time & companionship, you know...) Edited September 21, 2014 by MissingLink typo 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 22, 2014 ...dominatrix do not perform any sort of "sexual activity" [...] Wouldn't you want to get "escort references"? [...] Hence maybe why she behaved that way. Well, "sexual activity" and dommes can get into the sexual angle pretty easily, from a law angle, IMO. Pretty much all states' laws are along the lines of "you touch it for money for getting off: prostitution". So, slapping a guy's balls, tease/denial where domme touches. Strap on play is illegal in CO if I recall statutes correctly. But, the main jist of post: yeah, girl was probably not in right mind due to drink/other/lack-of-sleep, but even then, providers need to remember that there are alot of providers out there that don't do or have a clue re: this reference thing. And many have no clue re: the acronyms. And it's Vegas, ASP probably has no clue re: session with "Bob" (hell! He probably just threw out any old ASP he's seen in last year, in hope of getting in the door). At minimum, probably would have been best to start by telling "Bob" to concact ASP first, then contact via e-mail with a bit more detail/info vs what can be sent in 144 characters. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 22, 2014 is there a cliff notes version 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 22, 2014 What you may be missing is the fact that text messaging SUCKS for communication of anything more complicated than "hey, wanna do lunch today?" Everyone tries to shorten sentences and there is no tone of voice, facial expression, etc. to help translate. For instance: "Wanted to verify he's safe" He wanted to verify he is safe from dominatrix so he had you call? Or, you wanted to verify you are safe from him? Or probably 2 or 3 other things as well. Then you say you want to see her. Uh, ok, so you called to use him for a reference??? But you don't say when, how long etc. you time waster!! or "I was just verifying that he was SAFE" - Is that to say "I'm his wife ..... you didn't cut him up did you??" Yeah, she may have been a stoned idiot, but the real culprit is probably text messaging. Have I mentioned how much I hate texts?? But btw, I usually do love your posts - intelligence and humor always appreciated. Sorry, FD - too long. I know. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 22, 2014 is there a cliff notes version Yeah, I read the original post, and still have no idea what's going on. That said, I consider this whole domme/dominatrix thing bullshit. Most dommes are probably just girls who want to make money in sex work but don't actually want to have sex with guys. Hence they refashion themselves as "dommes". Well, there's a sucker born every minute. Ball-slapping? Get da fuck outta here. The only slapping sound is the one my balls make as they hit your chin. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 22, 2014 Well, "sexual activity" and dommes can get into the sexual angle pretty easily, from a law angle, IMO. Pretty much all states' laws are along the lines of "you touch it for money for getting off: prostitution". So, slapping a guy's balls, tease/denial where domme touches. Strap on play is illegal in CO if I recall statutes correctly. But, the main jist of post: yeah, girl was probably not in right mind due to drink/other/lack-of-sleep, but even then, providers need to remember that there are alot of providers out there that don't do or have a clue re: this reference thing. And many have no clue re: the acronyms. And it's Vegas, ASP probably has no clue re: session with "Bob" (hell! He probably just threw out any old ASP he's seen in last year, in hope of getting in the door). At minimum, probably would have been best to start by telling "Bob" to concact ASP first, then contact via e-mail with a bit more detail/info vs what can be sent in 144 characters. I no longer except references, I do take them into consideration though. I don't need them for screening. I use a form for "providing references" now. This to prevent seveal problems that have occurred in the past. #1: So no one can lie about what was being said during this process. #2: Another provider can't contact me for another girl she if friends with. (means she gave out another dudes info) I contact the the guys now so they know Iv given them a reference. #3: I don't have to deal with drama like mentioned in this post. Or take risk with some i don't know. Problem solved! is there a cliff notes version +1, Reason I stopped texting for references. How do you know your talking to hooker, dom, pimp, girl who just got busted now LE with her phone. Yeah. That just dont work for me. All bullshit aside. Nothing is ever 100% safe Yeah, I read the original post, and still have no idea what's going on. That said, I consider this whole domme/dominatrix thing bullshit. Most dommes are probably just girls who want to make money in sex work but don't actually want to have sex with guys. Hence they refashion themselves as "dommes". Well, there's a sucker born every minute. Ball-slapping? Get da fuck outta here. The only slapping sound is the one my balls make as they hit your chin. +1 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 22, 2014 Pro BDSM seems to be under that gray stripe of the sex work umbrella. We are not the same but not totally dissimilar either. For all you kinky people, on the site fetlife.com they have a great group called Kinky Sex Workers, there is a lot of great advice on there and it is very neat to see the escorts and pro BDSM people in the same place learning from each other. There are hookers with whips but there are also true Dommes out there that would love to whoop some ass for thinking that they are escorts that don't want to have sex. We just don't often run in the same circles and the OPs post is an example of what happens when those two worlds interact. I also don't really think it matters the source of the reference, you may not have sexual activity with a Domme but it is still intimate, you are exchanging money for time and companionship right? If I give a reference to another provider it really is only about his behavior, if whomever I am giving the reference to wants to assume that we did whatever activities that's on them. What goes on behind closed doors to me is irrelevant and not anyone's business. Nikki is 100% correct references are not needed for screening. Taking the word of someone you don't know that someone else you don't know is safe is just plain old weird. They are not entirely useless but I certainly would not rely solely on them. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 22, 2014 Too much to quote so I'll just make a list... 1) I had no idea she was a Domme. He offered up the name/number without me having to ask him so I just ASSumed she was a regular ASP. If I had known ahead of time that she was, I still would have reached out to her. 2) Nope, didn't book. 3) I can text/call/email/smokesignal whomever the eff I want to for a reference. I'm tired of people always getting chided for their procedures. I did a background check and reached out to the reference he gave me. I didn't walk into it without some sort of screening. The guy was a blast (his identical twin was equally enjoyable). The Domme was a nutcase who was clearly on something. I never responded back to her and I don't plan on it. 4) I apprecaite the education on the laws/limits of a Domme. I also appreciate the phone call this morning from a fellow Lady who offered up even more schooling. BDSM is a massive world of many levels. I am slowly learning my personal and professional niche in it all. I'm going to go oil up my paddle now.... 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 22, 2014 After re-reading the above mess, I now understand the problem: She didn't know what the fuck you were talking about. Secondly, half way through the whole thing you started flirting with her, regaling her with tales of your own interest in dominating, or whatever, smileys included. I can see why she lost patience quickly. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 22, 2014 3) I can text/call/email/smokesignal whomever the eff I want to for a reference. I'm tired of people always getting chided for their procedures. I did a background check and reached out to the reference he gave me. I didn't walk into it without some sort of screening. I'm going to go oil up my paddle now.... I wasn't criticizing you for anything. Surely, you can screen anyway you choose too. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 22, 2014 Sounds like she was never asked to provide a reference. The concept seemed to confuse her. Maybe she was on something. No way to tell via text. I've seem a couple of Doms in the past and they do operate a little different. Important thing is the session worked out OK. Good travels. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
