For some of you young providers

[Dimmsdale]

Okay,

Let me start by saying I'm nearly 40. If you are a young provider like early twenties. A couple things to remember please.

1. As older men, most of us have been married or in a long relationship (not a couple years, like more than a decade) we can tell when you're acting, we appreciate it but please don't phone it in with the oo baby routine and think we're buying it. It comes off condescending and obnoxious.

2. If you want a man to come, most of the time telling him to makes it worse, we are then completely aware you aren't into it and want us to stop. Try something like telling him where to come WHEN he's ready.

3. A dick doesn't have one speed, sometimes slower works faster.

4. They don't all respond the same way, so gentle first and increase from there. Some guys like pain but don't simply assume that.

5. Learn from them, even if we seem like just dirty old men, and we are, a lot of us have something to offer. I've been with some dumbass women in my life but I have learned something from every one of them. Whether I was with them for an hour or years.

6. If you figure out what his fantasy is, whether he tells you or you just get it. Play into it, it will make the time more fun and get him there quicker.

7. Not every man wants a finger up their ass. So don't ass ume

8. Comfort and trust can be established within minutes if done correctly. Once that's there, getting him off is easy.

9. If you just charge 100.00, that's still an ass load of money for time. So, it doesn't hurt to put some effort into it.

10. You never know what you are really doing with him. An escort saved my life a long time ago by just being cool. She was gonna be my last meal so to speak. So, why not be cool? Cool is always better.

[Guest moose]

Well, I was kind of enjoying that list until the buzzkill at the end. I don't want to poke fun at what is a very serious issue, but we shouldn't place a burden on girls that they just might be saving a life when they see a guy.

If anything, we can have fun (guys and girls) with 1-9 as I'm sure there are varying POVs, but 10 is a separate topic altogether.

[Nusa]

Okay,

Let me start by saying I'm nearly 40. If you are a young provider like early twenties. A couple things to remember please.

1. As older men, most of us have been married or in a long relationship (not a couple years, like more than a decade) we can tell when you're acting, we appreciate it but please don't phone it in with the oo baby routine and think we're buying it. It comes off condescending and obnoxious.

2. If you want a man to come, most of the time telling him to makes it worse, we are then completely aware you aren't into it and want us to stop. Try something like telling him where to come WHEN he's ready.

3. A dick doesn't have one speed, sometimes slower works faster.

4. They don't all respond the same way, so gentle first and increase from there. Some guys like pain but don't simply assume that.

5. Learn from them, even if we seem like just dirty old men, and we are, a lot of us have something to offer. I've been with some dumbass women in my life but I have learned something from every one of them. Whether I was with them for an hour or years.

6. If you figure out what his fantasy is, whether he tells you or you just get it. Play into it, it will make the time more fun and get him there quicker.

7. Not every man wants a finger up their ass. So don't ass ume

8. Comfort and trust can be established within minutes if done correctly. Once that's there, getting him off is easy.

9. If you just charge 100.00, that's still an ass load of money for time. So, it doesn't hurt to put some effort into it.

10. You never know what you are really doing with him. An escort saved my life a long time ago by just being cool. She was gonna be my last meal so to speak. So, why not be cool? Cool is always better.

To be honest, I found that I had to learn how to meet the providers half way to get them to be less nervous around me. I have gotten alot better with the first ten minutes of the appoinments and that makes the rest of the appointment go smoother. I'm not the Geico Money Man either, but I've learned that worrying about the money shows to her just as bad as her making fake moans does to you. I now talk through akward situations and take more of a lead role in appointments to help them go smoother. I find that experience helps, both mine and hers, so consider someone who may be a little older and has been providing for a while.

This may see weird to you, but they are women and they like to be adored and not treated strictly as a servent.

So, without further ado, a dedication to all the women I haven't met.

[Ghost_Rider]

I can appreciate some of the things the OP is trying to say here. He is certainly entitled to his opinion/s and this is as good of place to vent them as any. OTOH, I'm not sure it will do any good though b/c most of the ladies who follow TOB already have their act together, whereas the ladies who are clueless to those things mentioned....are also clueless to TOB

p.s. I have to laugh at the finger up the butt routine......I've only ran into that once in 4 years......and she asked first (love you C.S.)

[Guest hgritstoo]

Outstanding post. Let me add that when you are nearly 50, or (heaven forbid) really old and nearly 60, these truths only become more true. I like a little dirty talk.....but you gotta mean it. And as we get older, our BS radar just gets more powerful.

Okay,

Let me start by saying I'm nearly 40. If you are a young provider like early twenties. A couple things to remember please.

1. As older men, most of us have been married or in a long relationship (not a couple years, like more than a decade) we can tell when you're acting, we appreciate it but please don't phone it in with the oo baby routine and think we're buying it. It comes off condescending and obnoxious.

2. If you want a man to come, most of the time telling him to makes it worse, we are then completely aware you aren't into it and want us to stop. Try something like telling him where to come WHEN he's ready.

3. A dick doesn't have one speed, sometimes slower works faster.

4. They don't all respond the same way, so gentle first and increase from there. Some guys like pain but don't simply assume that.

5. Learn from them, even if we seem like just dirty old men, and we are, a lot of us have something to offer. I've been with some dumbass women in my life but I have learned something from every one of them. Whether I was with them for an hour or years.

6. If you figure out what his fantasy is, whether he tells you or you just get it. Play into it, it will make the time more fun and get him there quicker.

7. Not every man wants a finger up their ass. So don't ass ume

8. Comfort and trust can be established within minutes if done correctly. Once that's there, getting him off is easy.

9. If you just charge 100.00, that's still an ass load of money for time. So, it doesn't hurt to put some effort into it.

10. You never know what you are really doing with him. An escort saved my life a long time ago by just being cool. She was gonna be my last meal so to speak. So, why not be cool? Cool is always better.

[Lucy Kitten]

Okay,

Let me start by saying I'm nearly 40. If you are a young provider like early twenties. A couple things to remember please.

1. As older men, most of us have been married or in a long relationship (not a couple years, like more than a decade) we can tell when you're acting, we appreciate it but please don't phone it in with the oo baby routine and think we're buying it. It comes off condescending and obnoxious.

We can't genuinely like everyone, sometimes the acting is better than the alternative.

2. If you want a man to come, most of the time telling him to makes it worse, we are then completely aware you aren't into it and want us to stop. Try something like telling him where to come WHEN he's ready.

Again can't be compatible with everyone and younger providers may still lack some experience.

3. A dick doesn't have one speed, sometimes slower works faster.

Do you communicate this during the session? Providers are not mind readers.

4. They don't all respond the same way, so gentle first and increase from there. Some guys like pain but don't simply assume that.

Again are you communicating how you like your pecker played with?? Maybe yours is the one that is different from all the others?

5. Learn from them, even if we seem like just dirty old men, and we are, a lot of us have something to offer. I've been with some dumbass women in my life but I have learned something from every one of them. Whether I was with them for an hour or years.

I like learning as much as the next person but this is a business not a school and sadly I have learned that not everyone has something nor do I always have the energy to figure out what everyone has to offer me. On the flip side of that don't offer unsolicited advice during a session. It is a fact that we learn from experience give the 20 somethings time to get there.

6. If you figure out what his fantasy is, whether he tells you or you just get it. Play into it, it will make the time more fun and get him there quicker.

Your fantasy isn't on my menu what now?

7. Not every man wants a finger up their ass. So don't ass ume

How does it feel to be treated like a woman?

8. Comfort and trust can be established within minutes if done correctly. Once that's there, getting him off is easy.

Replace trust with mutual respect and I agree.

9. If you just charge 100.00, that's still an ass load of money for time. So, it doesn't hurt to put some effort into it.

According to all the rate threads you get what you pay for when you go for $100 sessions. Money charged and effort put forth rarely have anything in common. It is unfortunate when you pay so much for something and it falls short of expectation. If you don't like the product move on to something else, that may have been all the effort the provider was able to put forth.

10. You never know what you are really doing with him. An escort saved my life a long time ago by just being cool. She was gonna be my last meal so to speak. So, why not be cool? Cool is always better.

Of course cool is always better but that is just unreasonable. What you're asking is for someone to be intuitive to your needs emotionally because you might really need it? That is a shitload of pressure. What would have happened if she hadn't saved your life that day? Would you have blamed her?

[Guest]

When I was in my early twenties, I just didn't have mental attitude to be a great asp... The knowledge I have today is much more in tune. I am much more in touch with my body, what I like, what my partner likes..how to have an orgasm, .etc....Sounds like this has happened more then once Dale? Maybe stick with an asp that has been around to study men a bit longer. That way, things like the time, bar close, curfew, being a whore, what people think of you, how to fake an orgasm, getting $$$$... are not as important...

[ColetteReynolds]

Sometimes you get what you pay for . . . the rest of the time, you got lucky.

#9, LMAO.

[Jez UaBriain]

All I can say is ditto on both sides. Both male and female sides. As I age, and I am a fine 52 years old, my bullshit detector is much more acute, and much less tolerant then when I was younger. I do this biz for me. I like to get laid , paid, in what ever order it may bottom line, this thing I do. I am doing it for you, and me. In order for me to consider this fun- it has to be fun for you and me- both.

[ladyazariah11]

I do appreciate your advice. <snip> I definitely do agree that a service provider (young), should not assume anything. I learned this when I was employed as a Customer Service Representative in a calling center. My entire life, I have never thought that it would be smart to assume that all customers/clients are alike. Because each client is a different individual with a different personality. For me, it is easy to get to know the clients' personality & their likes/dislikes. I really do have fun conversing .

Edited November 8, 2013 by boink36
Advertising removed.

[AaBrenly]

Good list. My experience this list can be applied to the gals we see as well for the guys. I have seen some younger gals who understood this better than some older ladies. Seems if you are attentive and communicate well both sides can have a good time once we know what the other needs and likes. I had an appointment with a younger gal in CA. Recently and she was off the charts with her understanding and techniques - it was a great surprise.

[pitbull]

#10 would make an interesting post on its own. Did a provider somehow convince you to NOT commit suicide? Sounds like a movie scene.

[Bit Banger]

...

10. You never know what you are really doing with him. An escort saved my life a long time ago by just being cool. She was gonna be my last meal so to speak. So, why not be cool? Cool is always better.

#10 would make an interesting post on its own. Did a provider somehow convince you to NOT commit suicide? Sounds like a movie scene.

Could be another thread, but the OP is right. While the straits weren't quite so dire, there are several ASPs who have helped me retain my sanity in tough times, some explicitly. This portion of their "service" to society did not involve sex, but was related to caring about me as an individual. Have you ever been kidnapped by a group of ASPs to cheer you up because they knew you were in a dark place? {Thank you, ladies.}

And as I've said many times, ASPs saved my marriage, relieving sexual tension which allowed me to focus on what mattered in the marriage.

[shopguy]

Could be another thread, but the OP is right. While the straits weren't quite so dire, there are several ASPs who have helped me retain my sanity in tough times, some explicitly. This portion of their "service" to society did not involve sex, but was related to caring about me as an individual. Have you ever been kidnapped by a group of ASPs to cheer you up because they knew you were in a dark place? {Thank you, ladies.}

And as I've said many times, ASPs saved my marriage, relieving sexual tension which allowed me to focus on what mattered in the marriage.

Well said, I am impressed that one or more of our ladies would interact to actually take an interest in your wellness. Seems it is ALWAYS about the $. A little compassion and respect goes a long way. I need to meet those elite ladies.

[pitbull]

Could be another thread, but the OP is right. While the straits weren't quite so dire, there are several ASPs who have helped me retain my sanity in tough times, some explicitly. This portion of their "service" to society did not involve sex, but was related to caring about me as an individual. Have you ever been kidnapped by a group of ASPs to cheer you up because they knew you were in a dark place? {Thank you, ladies.}

And as I've said many times, ASPs saved my marriage, relieving sexual tension which allowed me to focus on what mattered in the marriage.

Bit Banger is absolutely correct. I see the same wonderful, giving, sweet, safe, gem of a lady each week who keeps me sane and keeps my marriage solid. The only thing that perhaps I disagree with in Bit's comment is that sex/sexual activity should at least be ONE of things that "matter" in a marriage. So many wives, including mine, neglect it to the extreme.

[Guest hgritstoo]

Bit Banger is absolutely correct. I see the same wonderful, giving, sweet, safe, gem of a lady each week who keeps me sane and keeps my marriage solid. The only thing that perhaps I disagree with in Bit's comment is that sex/sexual activity should at least be ONE of things that "matter" in a marriage. So many wives, including mine, neglect it to the extreme.

Some wives neglect it, others...for medical and/or psychological reasons, can't or won't. You should count your blessings that you've found exactly what you need. It seems the younger ladies cannot figure this out, and many of the more mature ones won't do something as simple as asking.

[HarleyQue]

Okay,

Let me start by saying I'm nearly 40. If you are a young provider like early twenties. A couple things to remember please.

1. As older men, most of us have been married or in a long relationship (not a couple years, like more than a decade) we can tell when you're acting, we appreciate it but please don't phone it in with the oo baby routine and think we're buying it. It comes off condescending and obnoxious.

We can't genuinely like everyone, sometimes the acting is better than the alternative.

2. If you want a man to come, most of the time telling him to makes it worse, we are then completely aware you aren't into it and want us to stop. Try something like telling him where to come WHEN he's ready.

Again can't be compatible with everyone and younger providers may still lack some experience.

3. A dick doesn't have one speed, sometimes slower works faster.

Do you communicate this during the session? Providers are not mind readers.

4. They don't all respond the same way, so gentle first and increase from there. Some guys like pain but don't simply assume that.

Again are you communicating how you like your pecker played with?? Maybe yours is the one that is different from all the others?

5. Learn from them, even if we seem like just dirty old men, and we are, a lot of us have something to offer. I've been with some dumbass women in my life but I have learned something from every one of them. Whether I was with them for an hour or years.

I like learning as much as the next person but this is a business not a school and sadly I have learned that not everyone has something nor do I always have the energy to figure out what everyone has to offer me. On the flip side of that don't offer unsolicited advice during a session. It is a fact that we learn from experience give the 20 somethings time to get there.

6. If you figure out what his fantasy is, whether he tells you or you just get it. Play into it, it will make the time more fun and get him there quicker.

Your fantasy isn't on my menu what now?

7. Not every man wants a finger up their ass. So don't ass ume

How does it feel to be treated like a woman?

8. Comfort and trust can be established within minutes if done correctly. Once that's there, getting him off is easy.

Replace trust with mutual respect and I agree.

9. If you just charge 100.00, that's still an ass load of money for time. So, it doesn't hurt to put some effort into it.

According to all the rate threads you get what you pay for when you go for $100 sessions. Money charged and effort put forth rarely have anything in common. It is unfortunate when you pay so much for something and it falls short of expectation. If you don't like the product move on to something else, that may have been all the effort the provider was able to put forth.

10. You never know what you are really doing with him. An escort saved my life a long time ago by just being cool. She was gonna be my last meal so to speak. So, why not be cool? Cool is always better.

Of course cool is always better but that is just unreasonable. What you're asking is for someone to be intuitive to your needs emotionally because you might really need it? That is a shitload of pressure. What would have happened if she hadn't saved your life that day? Would you have blamed her?

Well that was def enjoyable , Thanks HOLLY!

[Vic Kosslovich]

Sorry.... but when I read that reply what I get is, "I really don't care that much what you want or don't want." That's probably not your intention, but that's my take away.

Vic

[swirl]

THAAAAAANK YOUUU, LUCY!!! Couldn't have said it better myself!

[VampireVictoria]

Well said, I am impressed that one or more of our ladies would interact to actually take an interest in your wellness. Seems it is ALWAYS about the $. A little compassion and respect goes a long way. I need to meet those elite ladies.

I can't figure out if this is sarcastic or not. As an ASP, it boggles my mind to think anyone in this business isn't compassionate and respectful. If you're in this business just for the money and you don't care about what you do, how can you be successful?

To me, being an ASP requires you to be compassionate, respectful, empathic, intuitive, polite, and friendly. Based on the number of people complaining about ASPs, it seems like a lot of you are seeing the wrong girls. Any girl that can't carry on a conversation or make a client feel good about them self shouldn't be in this hobby.

[macho]

Number 11 1/2 old guy penis is weak like mouse

[Bit Banger]

... If you're in this business just for the money and you don't care about what you do, how can you be successful?

...

That's easy - have a great body or stolen pictures and lure a bunch of one-timer or 3G clients. There's a "hustle" in every game.

[Lucy Kitten]

Sorry.... but when I read that reply what I get is, "I really don't care that much what you want or don't want." That's probably not your intention, but that's my take away.

Vic

I do care very much but the quickest way to get me not to care is to give me a list of things that I should be doing better to appease one specific individual.

We as providers just can't be that intuitive. Some just lack the skill but most just really lack the time, an hour just usually isn't enough time to learn about someone so intimately without a little help.

Certainly all you gents can remember being in your 20s? I can remember and I was still really immature but growing everyday. If you want to buck the 20somethings just remember that you were there once and that a 15+ year age difference is huge when dealing with someone who may be under 25.

There are exceptions to every rule and there will of course be guys and guys claiming how mature some providers are and certainly there are but as a general rule it would make sense to think that the fewer years you have the less experience you have too.

[Paul Pudenda]

I'm older than the OP, so I didn't even think the issue with #10 was suicide. I remember once telling a young lady that if I ever stroke out due to her exceptional service she should call 911 and get the hell out. I wasn't trying to be morbid or cute - just practical.

The biggest concern I've had with younger providers is with them feeling that somehow they were doing me a favor, instead of realizing the mutual benefit derived. But like others posting, I've had some exceptional experiences with the younger ladies - some of whom were more in touch with their sexuality than older providers. In the end, all of us (guys and gals) are different.