ASP, Sex Worker, Prostitute, Hooker, Whore

[pitbull]

I'm curious about the level of political correctness in the hobbying world. Are ladies offended by certain words? Which ones do they prefer (if any)?

I remember reading the book Lonesome Dove a while back, and the word "whore" was tossed around as verb, noun, and adjective. In my book, that's a cruel and offensive word. In the 1800s, I suppose it was not.

And from my perspective, the word "client" is a lot nicer than "John" or "whore monger." Do these words have power and meaning these days? Or is it irrelevant? Just curious.

[Lucy Kitten]

It is all about context. I think more often than not when someone calls you a whore they are not trying to be nice. I personally don't care what anybody calls me, I would prefer to of course be treated with respect and not be called a whore or a hooker because of the negative connotation but it is up to me to decide how I let it affect me.

As for Lonesome Dove, it was merely part of the time and what made the dialogue flow. Larry McMurtry author of Lonesome Dove also penned Terms of Endearment and Moving On both which showed he had astonishing clarity, understanding and sympathy towards women.

Words have power, then can make you cry and leave scars so we should choose them carefully.

[Archetype]

Personally, I'm not offended by what anyone calls me. I think that words are just words, and letting myself be bothered by something that comes out of someone's mouth just isn't worth it. It's probably why I'm a fan of just about any type of comedy, especially people like Daniel Tosh, Lewis Black, etc. The more profane and shocking, the better.

I do recognize that others can be quite sensitive to words. Therefore, I attempt to choose my words to avoid deliberately hurting someone. I won't, however, mince my words to be politically correct, to soften the truth, etc. I still use the word "retard". I use "gay" in a descriptive way without homosexual connotations. I'll say "nigger" if it's relevant to a conversation. If people want to be bothered by that, so be it.

[boink36]

It is all about context. I think more often than not when someone calls you a whore they are not trying to be nice. I personally don't care what anybody calls me, I would prefer to of course be treated with respect and not be called a whore or a hooker because of the negative connotation but it is up to me to decide how I let it affect me.

As for Lonesome Dove, it was merely part of the time and what made the dialogue flow. Larry McMurtry author of Lonesome Dove also penned Terms of Endearment and Moving On both which showed he had astonishing clarity, understanding and sympathy towards women.

Words have power, then can make you cry and leave scars so we should choose them carefully.

I agree it's all about context and intent. I could say that a guy I know is not very bright and has no idea who his father is, or I could call him a stupid bastard.

[Lucy Kitten]

Personally, I'm not offended by what anyone calls me. I think that words are just words, and letting myself be bothered by something that comes out of someone's mouth just isn't worth it. It's probably why I'm a fan of just about any type of comedy, especially people like Daniel Tosh, Lewis Black, etc. The more profane and shocking, the better.

I do recognize that others can be quite sensitive to words. Therefore, I attempt to choose my words to avoid deliberately hurting someone. I won't, however, mince my words to be politically correct, to soften the truth, etc. I still use the word "retard". I use "gay" in a descriptive way without homosexual connotations. I'll say "nigger" if it's relevant to a conversation. If people want to be bothered by that, so be it.

There are differences to the examples here. Asking what the "politically correct" term is for a prostitute is laughable it's almost an oxymoron. I think what the OP meant by politically correct was what was the polite way to refer to them and is it in fact rude to call someone a word even if it does in fact describe them.

I think that you what you are getting at is totally different and you wanted to say the "n" word in public. Retard and gay and the "n" word are really horribly offensive in and especially out of context which is I am sure how you use those words most frequently. Unless you call all disabled people retards then you are just an insensitive fuck. You should in fact care if you say such foul things around people.

[Bigguy]

I agree with Luce. It is about context. I prefer client to john for myself, and I prefer escort or provider to whore or prostitute. Although all are accurate some just sound nicer. Maybe I'm a more sensitive guy than I thought.

[LegalEagle]

I agree with your point about context. A fellow lawyer and I call each other "intellectual ho's"......in that we'll dance with ANYONE who can pay our fee......but in my personal life, I have a different standard...I don't like the word "whore", and I don't like it when an ASP that I'm spending time with refers to herself as a "whore" or a "ho". If she wants to refer to me as a "John", she can certainly do so...but I don't like the "W" word, or the "H" word.

Just my thoughts......

[Guest]

I agree it is all in context in how the words are used. For example, when I worked at one of the brothels in Nevada there was one girl who was totally offended at being called a whore. I always laughed when she would go off on someone and say, "I am not a whore, I am a prostitute, I pay my fucking taxes"! SO in her mind that was the difference.

I do not like to be called a whore, to me it sounds dirty and degrading. It is funny though because non working girls will throw around the word whore instead of the word slut. I always say HEY whores make money, sluts do not. I will say that working girls can call each other whore, and we will laugh because it is in fun. I suppose this is the same kind of thing as black people calling each other the N word, however it becomes highly offensive for others to do so.

I call myself an escort or an ASP, OR if I am in a mood a slut that makes money, but never a whore. AS for the guys, a john is a guy who picks up girls on a corner, a hobbyist is someone who sees several or many girls, and a client is a guy who sees one to a few girls only.

So that is my two cents worth.

[boink36]

I agree it is all in context in how the words are used. For example, when I worked at one of the brothels in Nevada there was one girl who was totally offended at being called a whore. I always laughed when she would go off on someone and say, "I am not a whore, I am a prostitute, I pay my fucking taxes"! SO in her mind that was the difference.

I do not like to be called a whore, to me it sounds dirty and degrading. It is funny though because non working girls will throw around the word whore instead of the word slut. I always say HEY whores make money, sluts do not. I will say that working girls can call each other whore, and we will laugh because it is in fun. I suppose this is the same kind of thing as black people calling each other the N word, however it becomes highly offensive for others to do so.

I call myself an escort or an ASP, OR if I am in a mood a slut that makes money, but never a whore. AS for the guys, a john is a guy who picks up girls on a corner, a hobbyist is someone who sees several or many girls, and a client is a guy who sees one to a few girls only.

So that is my two cents worth.

Let me see if I have this straight. a woman who goes to jail for income tax evasion is a whore?

[Archetype]

I think that you what you are getting at is totally different and you wanted to say the "n" word in public.

You would be incorrect in your assumption.

Retard and gay and the "n" word are really horribly offensive in and especially out of context which is I am sure how you use those words most frequently.

You're sure, huh?

You should in fact care if you say such foul things around people.

You're entitled to your opinion. Mine differs from yours, though; I won't ever care, especially when there are people telling me what I should be considering offensive and that I subsequently should not be using.

[Lucy Kitten]

You would be incorrect in your assumption.

You're sure, huh?

You're entitled to your opinion. Mine differs from yours, though; I won't ever care, especially when there are people telling me what I should be considering offensive and that I subsequently should not be using.

So then you call disabled people retards and black people the "n" word? Some words aren't just considered offensive they really are.

[urfan]

archetype obviously holds onto a latent adolescent world view that it's cute to piss people off randomly by using socially unacceptable language inappropriately and not really giving a shit.

news flash: despite your juvenile attitude, real grownups understand that words convey some power in and of themselves, so don't be so self-delusional

[Nightrain]

It is all about context. I think more often than not when someone calls you a whore they are not trying to be nice. I personally don't care what anybody calls me, I would prefer to of course be treated with respect and not be called a whore or a hooker because of the negative connotation but it is up to me to decide how I let it affect me.

As for Lonesome Dove, it was merely part of the time and what made the dialogue flow. Larry McMurtry author of Lonesome Dove also penned Terms of Endearment and Moving On both which showed he had astonishing clarity, understanding and sympathy towards women.

Words have power, then can make you cry and leave scars so we should choose them carefully.

How do you feel about the term, "Sporting Lady"? I use it sometimes.

[pitbull]

archetype obviously holds onto a latent adolescent world view that it's cute to piss people off randomly by using socially unacceptable language inappropriately and not really giving a shit.

news flash: despite your juvenile attitude, real grownups understand that words convey some power in and of themselves, so don't be so self-delusional

Well said. People who simply disregard what other people find offensive are inconsiderate jerks. To those who would callously throw around the "N" word, go on down to a predominantly black bar and start tossing out offensive terms. I think you will suddenly start to care and see the power of words.

Any man who has spent two minutes with women knows that words have power. In "Lonesome Dove," the main character says "Even whores have hearts." It sounds crass today, but he was trying to tell his friend that breaking this lady's heart would haunt him for the rest of his life.

[EveSupreme]

It is funny though because non working girls will throw around the word whore instead of the word slut. I always say HEY whores make money, sluts do not.

It's funny because, at least in my mind, I make the same distinction when others use slut and whore interchangeably.

I've become of the mind that others will say what they want, regardless of what is acceptable or respectful. I am in control only of how I choose to react, so call me what you will; I will hold my head high regardless.

[NaughtyNiceGuy]

I don't think anyone here is politically correct. The golden rule applies here as well as in the real world.

[Archetype]

I'm not surprised that some are completely missing the point, urfan and pitbull especially. urfan seems to think that my view is an adolescent view. My counterargument is that his is a reactionary, outdated view that coddles the sensitive and ensures that no one is offended, ever. Our society continues to try to shield anyone and everyone from even the possiblity of being offended. It will continue to contribute to the softness and growing feeling of entitlement in our country.

I never feel the need to actively piss people off with my words, but I couldn't care less if someone is offended by how I choose to speak or write.

And yes, you're all right that I walk into black bars and call everyone niggers, and I do in fact call all disabled people retards. I usually follow up by pushing them out of their wheelchairs. Excellent inferences. About what I expected, truthfully.

[Bit Banger]

While I generally try to be polite and don't go out of my way to offend folks, I have to agree with this statement.

... view that coddles the sensitive and ensures that no one is offended, ever. Our society continues to try to shield anyone and everyone from even the possiblity of being offended. It will continue to contribute to the softness and growing feeling of entitlement in our country. ...

To paraphrase Abe Lincoln,

You can please some of the people all the time, all of the people some of the time, but you can't please all people all the time!

[pitbull]

I'm not surprised that some are completely missing the point, urfan and pitbull especially. urfan seems to think that my view is an adolescent view. My counterargument is that his is a reactionary, outdated view that coddles the sensitive and ensures that no one is offended, ever. Our society continues to try to shield anyone and everyone from even the possiblity of being offended. It will continue to contribute to the softness and growing feeling of entitlement in our country.

I never feel the need to actively piss people off with my words, but I couldn't care less if someone is offended by how I choose to speak or write.

And yes, you're all right that I walk into black bars and call everyone niggers, and I do in fact call all disabled people retards. I usually follow up by pushing them out of their wheelchairs. Excellent inferences. About what I expected, truthfully.

Your sarcasm hints that you indeed WOULD be cautious about calling people "nigger" in a black bar. But before you say you "couldn't care less" if someone is offended. Either words have power or they don't. Either you care or you don't. Do you only care if your physical well being is on the line in the case of the bar scenario?

My post was not intended to deviate into the political realm of "entitlement." Mr. Archetype, you are talking about the broad area of offending people through policies and political speech. I agree with you that we are too sensitive on this broad societal scale. On the personal scale of calling an ASP a "whore," I think we can agree that this is rude and cruel.

[Lucy Kitten]

I'm not surprised that some are completely missing the point, urfan and pitbull especially. urfan seems to think that my view is an adolescent view. My counterargument is that his is a reactionary, outdated view that coddles the sensitive and ensures that no one is offended, ever. Our society continues to try to shield anyone and everyone from even the possiblity of being offended. It will continue to contribute to the softness and growing feeling of entitlement in our country.

I never feel the need to actively piss people off with my words, but I couldn't care less if someone is offended by how I choose to speak or write.

And yes, you're all right that I walk into black bars and call everyone niggers, and I do in fact call all disabled people retards. I usually follow up by pushing them out of their wheelchairs. Excellent inferences. About what I expected, truthfully.

Choose better examples then. I don't feel the need to shield anyone from anything but there is a difference between coddling society and being a prick. Chances are somewhere someone is offended by the nature of what someone says, there is no way to not offend other than not speaking, but it doesn't mean that we shouldn't watch what we say.

I am all for calling a spade a spade with no fear of offending. If you're fat you're fat, I am not offended when someone calls me fat, it was a fact I was aware of. Fat Cow or Fat Bitch on the other hand goes way too far.

My point still stands about the words you chose as an example. There will be words that will always be offensive no matter the context and unless you are trying to hurt someone they should never be muttered.

[llort]

We can quibble over semantics all day long, but in the end all terms are pretty accurate. There really isn't much respectable about the industry whether you are the buyer or the seller.

[urfan]

you're certainly a piece of work.

given the predictable tone of your posts denigrating providers, why exactly are you here again?

[Lovely_Leigh]

I am all for calling a spade a spade with no fear of offending. If you're fat you're fat, I am not offended when someone calls me fat, it was a fact I was aware of. Fat Cow or Fat Bitch on the other hand goes way too far.

My point still stands about the words you chose as an example. There will be words that will always be offensive no matter the context and unless you are trying to hurt someone they should never be muttered.

I'd love to hear a few of these always offensive words that should never be muttered. Maybe "Beatlejuice" or even Voldermort.

[Bethanie]

I'd love to hear a few of these always offensive words that should never be muttered. Maybe "Beatlejuice" or even Voldermort.

Thank you for lightening up the discussion. On a related note, in some religions it is forbidden to say the name of G_d.

To the OP, I myself prefer to be referred to as call girl. Or consultant.

To be referred to as professional is always nice. The opposite of professional is amateur.

Once on an official document, I listed my occupation as intuitive therapeutic counselor. The best term of all may be erotic muse.

On my bathroom mirror at home there is a post-it not that says, "Out de doho." It's there to remind me not to dawdle and waste time on hair and makeup. Say it out loud and you'll get it.

[Guest]

first off, allow me to introduce myself. some of you may already know me, but i am ember. i've been on the scene for a while now, but have mostly kept a low-profile. on occasion, i do stop in to eavesdrop upon this board, limiting myself to that. however, i appreciate the existence of this forum & sometimes feel called to contribute my own say on a matter. now is one of those times, as this very topic has been on the forefront of some of the recent conversations i've been enjoying in my personal life. i agree whole-heartedly that all is a matter of relevance within context. that said, i, for myself, prefer whore. namely, because there actually is a significant lineage of sacred herstory to that word. although, most anyone who chooses to use it this day & age has no idea of the fact, & almost certainly intends to inflect a different tone with it. lonesome dove is one of my favorite reads, although it makes liberal use of the word as verb, noun & adjective in what in certain passages might be considered a negative context. probably, that was just the jargon in style back in those days, used more matter-of-factly then out of any real attempt to be malicious.

whore holds a special place in my heart, but admittedly i more frequently use the term escort, provider or sometimes prostitute before i'm assured that the person with whom i'm in discussion knows the true connotation of whore...

"the word ‘whore’ was a title, used in much the way our word ‘reverend’ is employed today. ‘whore’ is associated with many words including hus-band, hussy, puta (spanish for ‘whore’—in vedic, puta means ‘pure’ or ‘holy’), ghazye (egyption), devadasi (sanskrit), horae (greek) & hor (hebrew). whore-priestesses were revered because they taught a combination of mother-love, tenderness, comfort, mystical enlightenment & sex.”

—barbara walker

“Ishtar was the primary babylonian deity, a goddess strongly associated with sex work. as the Whore of Babylon, Ishtar proudly oversaw the continuing tradition of sacred prostitution, announcing on a stone tablet, which is still in existence. ‘a prostitute compassionate am i’. one of her titles was the Great Goddess Har, Mother of Harlots. "Har" can be read as a cognate of the persian Houri (sacred temple whores & dancing girls, they were Ladies of the Hour. each ruled a certain hour of the night, & marked the hours of the night by whirling dances. the oldest authentic hebrew folk dance is still called hora after the circle dances of the sacred harlots) & greek Horae, also be the origin of "harem," which formerly meant a temple of women or sanctuary. the term harlot also finds its basis with Har. harlot was a term for whore priestesses who were employed in Ishtar’s temples, administering sexual sacraments to worshipers, who would leave offerings to the temple, for the upkeep of the priestesses, & in honour of Ishtar. the hebrew form of Har was Hor; this along with the persian term Houri seems to be the origin of the word whore. in the hebrew bible, whoredom was used to refer to both sex work & idolatry—worship given to an image, but its signification has been extended to all Divine worship given to anyone or anything but the true God (jews, along with christians & moslems are monotheistic); unfaithfulness to God. thus it is possible to infer that sex work & pagan spiritual practices were linked in the minds of hebrew priests—& that religious harlotry, or cult prostitution, associated with fertility of the land & practiced throughout the middle east & mediterranean regions was considered a threat to judaism.”

—scarlett alliance for sex workers right

http://www.hopedance.org/home/soul-news/1550-the-holy-whore-a-womans-gateway-to-power

[urfan]

and on that note, Leigh, here's a true 'blue' blast from the past (1972) for you.

George Carlin's 7 dirty words you can never say on television:

Shit

Piss

Fuck

Cunt

Cocksucker

Motherfucker

and Tits

[urfan]

nicely done Ember

you brought more light than heat to the discussion

[2Big]

The comparison between the N-word and "whore", "hooker" is dumb.

The latter two words refer to activities, the former to a person's biological characteristic that he or she has no control over.

You can quit being a hooker, but you can't quit being black (although, Lord knows, many have tried).

[Lucy Kitten]

I'd love to hear a few of these always offensive words that should never be muttered. Maybe "Beatlejuice" or even Voldermort.

You could have followed the conversation and saw the examples from the person I was replying to. Retard and the 'n' word being the two that bother me the most.

[Lovely_Leigh]

You could have followed the conversation and saw the examples from the person I was replying to. Retard and the 'n' word being the two that bother me the most.

You said there were words who's meanings were only insensitive and regardless of context should never be used. If this is truly what you believe, come over, and I'll introduce you to "Blazing Saddles".

Edited December 14, 2012 by Lovely_Leigh
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