Posted August 8, 2022 I'm new to this and texted someone who posted on here. And then got nervous, freaked out, and backed out of it. We texted for a little bit; I sent a total of about 10 texts. And now she wants money for the time we spent texting trying to set up a date. Is this normal and if so, what kind of donation should I make? What is the protocol here? Thanks for the help. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 10, 2022 Is she specifically asking for money for texting? I know some women do have "sexting packages" for a fee. You said you "backed out of it". Did you schedule a time to meet in person, and cancel outside her cancellation time frame? IE within 24 hours. She might be asking you for a cancellation fee, not a texting fee. 6 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 11, 2022 (edited) On 8/7/2022 at 10:21 PM, steve38718 said: I'm new to this and texted someone who posted on here. And then got nervous, freaked out, and backed out of it. We texted for a little bit; I sent a total of about 10 texts. And now she wants money for the time we spent texting trying to set up a date. Is this normal and if so, what kind of donation should I make? What is the protocol here? Thanks for the help. 10 texts over a period of how long? Did you give her screening info? Did she spend time outside of your texting preparing for the appointment you chickened out on? Do you want to see her? Maybe offer a deposit toward an appointment Edited August 11, 2022 by MeganMarie4u 7 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 11, 2022 It's a timewaster fee. Send her $100 Also, if you're in the too nervous to go through with it phase, don't contact providers yet. You're going to rack up a bunch of timewaster blacklists, and then you'll really be screwed for years to come. 17 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 14, 2022 (edited) On 8/11/2022 at 9:34 AM, Hunter VanDyke said: It's a timewaster fee. Send her $100 Also, if you're in the too nervous to go through with it phase, don't contact providers yet. You're going to rack up a bunch of timewaster blacklists, and then you'll really be screwed for years to come. I agree, if you're too nervous, you should wait until you get the nerve. Booking FBSM (not AMP) sessions helped. There is a special lady who's also on TOB that knows that I waited for several years before I marshalled up the proper nerve. Glad I finally did, BTW!! That being said, if it genuinely was just your fear that stopped the interaction, then you should give her something. Unless you actually scheduled a time, $100 seems a little much (sorry @Hunter VanDyke) but something for her time is appropriate. If you scheduled a time and flaked, then $100 is the min, you should check her cancellation policy. Personally, if I scheduled a time and canceled, even for a legit reason (illness, wife shot me, etc), I'd still give her something. Edited August 14, 2022 by CountryGentleman 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 15, 2022 Not enough information here to make comment. If you wasted her time, either intentionally or unintentionally, consider compensating her time. consider coming clean with her about what happened, apologize and recognize what went wrong. Do better by all parties next time. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 15, 2022 I too have been surprised about providers asking for a “deposit) etc… but being older and computer dumb, I can’t send funds electronically. Even for a provider I really want to see. So I don’t know why so many want it done that way. I try to keep my activities private. I always thought cash was king. But in today’s world I guess I’m wrong. Sending $ over the internet is traceable, that doesn’t work for me. 6 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 15, 2022 On 8/14/2022 at 0:53 PM, CountryGentleman said: Unless you actually scheduled a time, $100 seems a little much (sorry @Hunter VanDyke) but something for her time is appropriate. If you scheduled a time and flaked, then $100 is the min, you should check her cancellation policy. No need to be sorry to me for disagreeing CG. 😘 IMO it doesn't matter how much either of us thinks she should be compensated for her wasted time. It's up to her to decide what is reasonable for her to move on with or without taking any actions on her part. Nothing is required at all, but many times time-wasting has consequences that affect a client's ability to see some ladies they want to see in the future. Personally, I want a client to have already made up his mind to see me BEFORE he contacts me. If 10 separate messaging interactions are required before a visit, I'd like $100 just for that. Then my actual fee for our appointment. 4ish interactions seems reasonable to me to get screened and coordinate a visit. Sometimes more or less, but 10 seems excessive, and my experience is I'm usually getting my time wasted at that point. That's just me. Other providers have different experiences/preferences. 5 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 15, 2022 2 hours ago, Hunter VanDyke said: No need to be sorry to me for disagreeing CG. 😘 IMO it doesn't matter how much either of us thinks she should be compensated for her wasted time. It's up to her to decide what is reasonable for her to move on with or without taking any actions on her part. Nothing is required at all, but many times time-wasting has consequences that affect a client's ability to see some ladies they want to see in the future. Personally, I want a client to have already made up his mind to see me BEFORE he contacts me. If 10 separate messaging interactions are required before a visit, I'd like $100 just for that. Then my actual fee for our appointment. 4ish interactions seems reasonable to me to get screened and coordinate a visit. Sometimes more or less, but 10 seems excessive, and my experience is I'm usually getting my time wasted at that point. That's just me. Other providers have different experiences/preferences. I see your point Hunter. I hadn’t really been able to think it through fully from your side of the equation. Great advice to the clients to wait until fully ready to commit before reaching out. Cheers! 4 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 19, 2022 Pay someone cuz your try give them business 🤣🤣 nobody would be in business any longer if you had to pay them to text them about their services! It’s part of doing business 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 19, 2022 1 hour ago, stevie-2249 said: Pay someone cuz your try give them business 🤣🤣 nobody would be in business any longer if you had to pay them to text them about their services! It’s part of doing business Most businesses don't have 100s of guys creating multiple fake personas and scenarios to fuck with them and waste their time. If they did, they would figure out a way to combat that too. I'm not playing around with guys who are "Trying" to do business. I'm here for clients that "Do" business. Let's do the damn thing. 😈 7 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 19, 2022 25 minutes ago, Hunter VanDyke said: Most businesses don't have 100s of guys creating multiple fake personas and scenarios to fuck with them and waste their time. If they did, they would figure out a way to combat that too. I'm not playing around with guys who are "Trying" to do business. I'm here for clients that "Do" business. Let's do the damn thing. 😈 26 minutes ago, Hunter VanDyke said: Most businesses don't have 100s of guys creating multiple fake personas and scenarios to fuck with them and waste their time. If they did, they would figure out a way to combat that too. I'm not playing around with guys who are "Trying" to do business. I'm here for clients that "Do" business. Let's do the damn thing. 😈 Tell me how many guys have actually paid you money for wasting your time with text? Oh hey come by my house and collect 🤣🤣 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 19, 2022 2 hours ago, stevie-2249 said: Tell me how many guys have actually paid you money for wasting your time with text? Oh hey come by my house and collect 🤣🤣 None! 🙌 Not in years. My number is private. I dont text back and forth. Cuts out the biggest majority of TWs. That along with my automated email response, along with requiring real world information for screening, and it's very very rare that I get a timewaster. I do everything I can on my part to prevent that from happening. However, even with all that it still happens occasionally. When collecting fees, I'm professional, thoughtful, and direct. For me it's quite easy. It is a high percentage Stevie. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 20, 2022 On 8/19/2022 at 8:00 AM, stevie-2249 said: Pay someone cuz your try give them business 🤣🤣 nobody would be in business any longer if you had to pay them to text them about their services! It’s part of doing business Most professionals who bill for their time are willing to give away a little time to entice/secure business, but that has limits. 10 texts without following thru on an appointment? Seems excessive.... At some point you are either going to commit and act iouor not. If you can't make that decision, then expect the provider to make it for you. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 21, 2022 20 FS appts for 4000? 🤦♀️ My lord this is why providers don't take business advice from hobbyists. 🤣 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 21, 2022 On 8/7/2022 at 11:21 PM, steve38718 said: I'm new to this and texted someone who posted on here. And then got nervous, freaked out, and backed out of it. We texted for a little bit; I sent a total of about 10 texts. And now she wants money for the time we spent texting trying to set up a date. Is this normal and if so, what kind of donation should I make? What is the protocol here? Thanks for the help. Interesting you had the balls to post abt wasting her time. Were you nervous? Are you short on accountability?? She's not responsible for your emotions. You wasted her time. Pay her!!! 4 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 21, 2022 (edited) 7 hours ago, Hunter VanDyke said: 20 FS appts for 4000? 🤦♀️ My lord this is why providers don't take business advice from hobbyists. 🤣 That’s 200 for 20 half hours sessions, that’s good money! oh I forgot you probably don’t do half hour sessions cuz it’s a waste of time, all a provider needs to do is say after a few texts to the potential customers is hey are you gonna book or not period, Edited August 21, 2022 by stevie-2249 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 21, 2022 (edited) 4 hours ago, stevie-2249 said: That’s 200 for 20 half hours sessions, that’s good money! oh I forgot you probably don’t do half hour sessions cuz it’s a waste of time, all a provider needs to do is say after a few texts to the potential customers is hey are you gonna book or not period, That is not good money!!! Securing high end incall locations is $3,000 to $5,000 per month, depending on the time of year. Speaking for myself only, NO WAY do I want to see 20 men in a month. That is way too many!! Half hours are a waste of time! The men are usually just there to get their rocks off, and care little about mutual satisfaction. Most women I know make ends meet only in a month. There are far more months we don't make what we need to cover the bills, than the months we profit. Usually we break even, that's it!! Edited August 21, 2022 by Caressa Duval 6 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 21, 2022 So how many texts should the client receive AFTER telling the provider "no thank you"???? All too often after learning donation, screening requirements and whether or not a donation is required the "lady" tries to change the clients mind. In one instance, after a 15 - 18 text string (I said no thanks on 3rd text) I actually got a threat and demand for payment from her manager. SHE wasted both our time by trying to change my no to a yes. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 21, 2022 (edited) 1 hour ago, mustang said: So how many texts should the client receive AFTER telling the provider "no thank you"???? All too often after learning donation, screening requirements and whether or not a donation is required the "lady" tries to change the clients mind. In one instance, after a 15 - 18 text string (I said no thanks on 3rd text) I actually got a threat and demand for payment from her manager. SHE wasted both our time by trying to change my no to a yes. Once you've heard the appt will require a deposit. You can ignore any messages that are sent. The contact ends. No time wasted. I ignore hundreds of messages. I'm not choosing to waste my own time by responding. Everyone has a choice to be a participant or not. After a certain point you're wasting you're own time. There is a feature I use often it's called spam. There's a block feature for texts. Learn how to use it and use it quickly. This is an easy pro tip. Take control and responsibility where you can. You've been a member here since 2007. How have you not learned these simple things in all these years? Edited August 21, 2022 by Hunter VanDyke 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 22, 2022 1 hour ago, Hunter VanDyke said: Once you've heard the appt will require a deposit. You can ignore any messages that are sent. The contact ends. No time wasted. I ignore hundreds of messages. I'm not choosing to waste my own time by responding. Everyone has a choice to be a participant or not. After a certain point you're wasting you're own time. There is a feature I use often it's called spam. There's a block feature for texts. Learn how to use it and use it quickly. This is an easy pro tip. Take control and responsibility where you can. You've been a member here since 2007. How have you not learned these simple things in all these years? Because up until a few years ago, the providers were FAR more professional than MOST of the ones I have had contact with. I was raised to believe it is impolite to ignore or not return a message. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 23, 2022 I'd agree with previous posters. Unless you're ready to schedule (and go through with it), I'd save the texting. My only exception is that Ill sometime reach out to someone and in email (or text if they prefer) politely ask their rates and general availability, for future use. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 24, 2022 On 8/19/2022 at 9:00 AM, stevie-2249 said: Pay someone cuz your try give them business 🤣🤣 nobody would be in business any longer if you had to pay them to text them about their services! It’s part of doing business Exactly. I have to go out on bids to evaluate projects. No one pays for that. People ask questions on the phone. I answer them at no charge. Now if he scheduled and backed out to late, he should pay a cancellation fee. 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 24, 2022 16 hours ago, Alex Majors said: Exactly. I have to go out on bids to evaluate projects. No one pays for that. People ask questions on the phone. I answer them at no charge. … Yes! When I ran a machine shop our response to RFQs could take hours of work. My software team sometimes spent days/weeks writing a project proposal, but we were talking about getting a year’s work for the entire team. We’re we paid directly for this? Hell no! But a certain amount of marketing for new work was factored into our rates. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 24, 2022 16 hours ago, Alex Majors said: Exactly. I have to go out on bids to evaluate projects. No one pays for that. People ask questions on the phone. I answer them at no charge. Now if he scheduled and backed out to late, he should pay a cancellation fee. We don't go out on bids. That's not how our industry works. He was not just asking her questions. He led her to believe he was making a paid appt when he wasn't sure he could even follow through. Which he didn't folliw through. He didnt just ask a few simple questions over a couple messages. He drug it out for 10 messages over who knows how long and she was responding under false pretenses. Thats called a time waster. Now if he was truthful in his initial email that he wasn't sure he could go through with it, and she chose to continue toengage, it's all good. But that's not how timewasters work. Lol 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 24, 2022 12 minutes ago, Hunter VanDyke said: We don't go out on bids. That's not how our industry works. He was not just asking her questions. He led her to believe he was making a paid appt when he wasn't sure he could even follow through. Which he didn't folliw through. He didnt just ask a few simple questions over a couple messages. He drug it out for 10 messages over who knows how long and she was responding under false pretenses. Thats called a time waster. Now if he was truthful in his initial email that he wasn't sure he could go through with it, and she chose to continue toengage, it's all good. But that's not how timewasters work. Lol There is nothing anyone can say to make you see it in a different way! Alex said it perfectly!! I know when I’m looking to improve my house and I get a contractor to give me a estimate I feel like I don’t know if I should do it or not, there might be a better offer out there or do I have the money to do it, am I doing the right thing etc… maybe this guy was feeling same way, I’m sure it happens all the time 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 25, 2022 One persons time waster is another's careful researcher. Ten....nine......eight, seven ................ 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 25, 2022 46 minutes ago, stevie-2249 said: There is nothing anyone can say to make you see it in a different way! Alex said it perfectly!! I know when I’m looking to improve my house and I get a contractor to give me a estimate I feel like I don’t know if I should do it or not, there might be a better offer out there or do I have the money to do it, am I doing the right thing etc… maybe this guy was feeling same way, I’m sure it happens all the time Alex said it perfectly for a normal business. Not this business. Obviously not this business. How many of these bids and quotes are Alex and Bit doing for anonymous customers with all anonymous contact information. Completely fake personas. Fake personas half of whom are game players just fucking with you. I said it before and I'll say it again...If any normal business had to deal with what we deal with as providers, they would change the way they do business too. Change their policies. Some already have, and they don't deal with nearly the amount of timewasters and game players we do. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 25, 2022 4 minutes ago, mustang said: One persons time waster is another's careful researcher. Ten....nine......eight, seven ................ Five...four...three...two.......... 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 25, 2022 1 hour ago, Hunter VanDyke said: Alex said it perfectly for a normal business. Not this business. Obviously not this business. How many of these bids and quotes are Alex and Bit doing for anonymous customers with all anonymous contact information. Completely fake personas. Fake personas half of whom are game players just fucking with you. I said it before and I'll say it again...If any normal business had to deal with what we deal with as providers, they would change the way they do business too. Change their policies. Some already have, and they don't deal with nearly the amount of timewasters and game players we do. Lawyers make some of the best clients. IMO. They understand $3-600 per hour. Most charge a consultation fee. Lawyers will absolutely charge by the minute for every email and text they have to read. Lawyers for me have always one of my favorite clients to see, they understand the the dollar value of time. Some people might not understand that a good 2 to 6 hours out of each day, can sometimes be completely devoted to screening clients. We are not being paid at all for the time we spend screening. In addition, many of us have real jobs, and families to care for. 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
