Why I am not reference friendly...

[Guest]

1 hour ago, TrystinTrimble said:

 The bottom line is that it is my duty to look out for my safety and a great place to look first is to assess whether or not the gentlemen approached me in the way I requested.  If he tries to make his own accommodations , I can expect him to treat me the same as he did my protocol: lIke it's there for him to tailor to his own purpose.

 So, will you please tell me how that's me "putting guys on blast for wanting service?" 

This kind of conversation comes up with some regularity. I think there is a component of jealousy underlying it. Guys keep wanting to apply the lessons they have learned in business to the indie escort world and wish they had the power to tell their potential customers, "look, this is how it's gonna be, take it or leave it".

On this board, it's usually the estimable Ms Kitten who comes in and reminds us we don't have clue what we are talking about because nothing in our experience has taught us anything about rolling around naked with strangers.

My advice, not that you asked for it, is to keep doing what you're doing and ignore anyone who hasn't walked a mile in your lingerie.

[pfunk]

8 hours ago, TrystinTrimble said:

While this is certainly applicable, I feel that that statement is an exaggeration/oversimplified one.  I must ask you these in response:

*where in my statements am I putting anyone "on blast" for "wanting service?"  First of all, 1997 called, and they'd like their jargon back, please. Second, the issue was never about innocent callers being publicly called out over simply dewcalling me. That choice of words, to me, seems to be very slanted towards the idea that I am unstable toward any people who talk to me at all. . I can see a sentence is really saying "you're a drama bomb. Look out everyone, this  one is unapproachable,  whoa-ho don't upset this loose cannon or she'll blast you."  It is a recurring  theme to encounter responses to normal and acceptable concerns that are dismissive, passively hostile, and point at the idea that I've done or said something unwarranted and to people who were only trying to schedule through polite communication. How is that statement NOT about reducing a legitimate concern into "some crap some dumb broad pulled outta nowhere?I^"

 

*Its rare to have the customers of anything business-like, to be of such a personal nature.  It's rare to be in a position that leaves the vendor where she is handled as if she's crazy and irrational when she starts to discuss something. It is rare to me, I must say, to work in an industry where the vendor is purposefully expected to be alone with strangers, yet has no recourse for harm done to her by them and can expect to be given plenty of hell when she tried to talk about it.  How is that environment anything good at all without a regulating voice to balance?  

Show biz or not, I am quite tired of being downgraded to a ball buster with labels like "abrasive" and "aggressive" and "Demanding" whenever I ask for the things I need to feel comfortable alone with a new guy.   The bottom line is that it is my duty to look out for my safety and a great place to look first is to assess whether or not the gentlemen approached me in the way I requested.  If he tries to make his own accommodations , I can expect him to treat me the same as he did my protocol: lIke it's there for him to tailor to his own purpose.  

So, will you please tell me how that's me "putting guys on blast for wanting service?" 

[jj254-1]

10 hours ago, TrystinTrimble said:

While this is certainly applicable, I feel that that statement is an exaggeration/oversimplified one.  I must ask you these in response:

*where in my statements am I putting anyone "on blast" for "wanting service?"  First of all, 1997 called, and they'd like their jargon back, please. Second, the issue was never about innocent callers being publicly called out over simply dewcalling me. That choice of words, to me, seems to be very slanted towards the idea that I am unstable toward any people who talk to me at all. . I can see a sentence is really saying "you're a drama bomb. Look out everyone, this  one is unapproachable,  whoa-ho don't upset this loose cannon or she'll blast you."  It is a recurring  theme to encounter responses to normal and acceptable concerns that are dismissive, passively hostile, and point at the idea that I've done or said something unwarranted and to people who were only trying to schedule through polite communication. How is that statement NOT about reducing a legitimate concern into "some crap some dumb broad pulled outta nowhere?I^"

 

*Its rare to have the customers of anything business-like, to be of such a personal nature.  It's rare to be in a position that leaves the vendor where she is handled as if she's crazy and irrational when she starts to discuss something. It is rare to me, I must say, to work in an industry where the vendor is purposefully expected to be alone with strangers, yet has no recourse for harm done to her by them and can expect to be given plenty of hell when she tried to talk about it.  How is that environment anything good at all without a regulating voice to balance?  

 

Show biz or not, I am quite tired of being downgraded to a ball buster with labels like "abrasive" and "aggressive" and "Demanding" whenever I ask for the things I need to feel comfortable alone with a new guy.   The bottom line is that it is my duty to look out for my safety and a great place to look first is to assess whether or not the gentlemen approached me in the way I requested.  If he tries to make his own accommodations , I can expect him to treat me the same as he did my protocol: lIke it's there for him to tailor to his own purpose.  

So, will you please tell me how that's me "putting guys on blast for wanting service?" 

Weird. Didn't lob insults at you. First choice you made though. Wonder why you're labeled abrasive? Not a big mystery. BTW in 1997 I was clearing minefields in Bosnia. 

You want to screen clients? Cool. Some work comes with that though. And only one of us is getting paid for that work. You don't get to pick who calls you. You get to pick who you respond to. Might could be time for you to learn that. Help de-stress your life some. Better than writing thesis papers to rant against your source of income. But run your business how you see fit. Don't matter to me. I ain't calling you. 

 

Oh and this- " I can see a sentence is really saying "you're a drama bomb. Look out everyone, this  one is unapproachable,  whoa-ho don't upset this loose cannon or she'll blast you" - Nah. That's from this post. Next time you put words in my mouth, salt them or something. I like a little flavor. Good luck with the business. Namaste and what not. 

[Paul Pudenda]

Seems to me the girl is just plain lazy.  How hard is it to get an e-mail or a PM from an established member and check his reviews?  Not very.  How many times have we been told to have untraceable burner phones?  Anonymity goes along way here.  I certainly wouldn't call from a "legitimate" phone.  Why anyone would be dumb enough to do that is beyond me.  But apparently, some do.  Lots-o-luck with that.

[Lucy Kitten]

1 hour ago, Raoul said:

This kind of conversation comes up with some regularity. I think there is a component of jealousy underlying it. Guys keep wanting to apply the lessons they have learned in business to the indie escort world and wish they had the power to tell their potential customers, "look, this is how it's gonna be, take it or leave it".

On this board, it's usually the estimable Ms Kitten who comes in and reminds us we don't have clue what we are talking about because nothing in our experience has taught us anything about rolling around naked with strangers.

My advice, not that you asked for it, is to keep doing what you're doing and ignore anyone who hasn't walked a mile in your lingerie.

And I will continue to do so. So I guess you will continue to call me out by name. I wouldn't have to remind you all the time if you just remembered that you were clueless.

If you're so confident that I am off the mark and you're so knowledgeable then take these opinions that you have to a place where there is a better sample of providers. Take it to providers who don't need your business and you will get similar feedback that you get from me.

You give sound advice but yet it doesn't keep you from dispensing advice/opinions even though you obviously haven't walked a mile in anyone's lingerie.

 

[TrystinTrimble]

3 hours ago, Lucy Kitten said:

And I will continue to do so. So I guess you will continue to call me out by name. I wouldn't have to remind you all the time if you just remembered that you were clueless.

If you're so confident that I am off the mark and you're so knowledgeable then take these opinions that you have to a place where there is a better sample of providers. Take it to providers who don't need your business and you will get similar feedback that you get from me.

You give sound advice but yet it doesn't keep you from dispensing advice/opinions even though you obviously haven't walked a mile in anyone's lingerie.

 

MY lingerie would take aaaaaages to walk a mile in 

[Guest]

8 hours ago, Lucy Kitten said:

And I will continue to do so. So I guess you will continue to call me out by name. I wouldn't have to remind you all the time if you just remembered that you were clueless.

If you're so confident that I am off the mark and you're so knowledgeable then take these opinions that you have to a place where there is a better sample of providers. Take it to providers who don't need your business and you will get similar feedback that you get from me.

You give sound advice but yet it doesn't keep you from dispensing advice/opinions even though you obviously haven't walked a mile in anyone's lingerie.

 

es·ti·ma·ble

ˈestəməbəl/

adjective

 

1. worthy of great respect.

You're kind of tough on me here when I'm agreeing with you. But sorry for using your name. Won't happen again.

[Lucy Kitten]

2 hours ago, Raoul said:

es·ti·ma·ble

ˈestəməbəl/

adjective

 

1. worthy of great respect.

You're kind of tough on me here when I'm agreeing with you. But sorry for using your name. Won't happen again.

You never agree with me so I apologize. Your sarcasm also goes up to 11 so I never really know whether or not you're serious or being a dick so I apologize

[Guest]

33 minutes ago, Lucy Kitten said:

 Your sarcasm also goes up to 11 so I never really know whether or not you're serious or being a dick 

I often have the same problem. It's possible I'm a serious dick. 

 

[Jez UaBriain]

 I have  had mixed results with getting references, and giving them. Mainly in getting them. There is a sub class of providers and clients  who are jealous. The references  when they are offered by a prospective client  generally come back to me. But I have had some ladies give snarky responses. My thought is " Look babe, I am not trying to take your boy away from you. I just want to know if he is a hobbyist or not." So save the snarkiness, and just answer  the question. Are they a bonofide client,  or not.? If a guy likes a ladies service he will visit her again and again.

It is nice to be able to visit with a new client to nknow ahead of time that he is cool. But Trystin, your reasons are your own.  I will still always try to provide a answer to any gal if she asks. I want my sisters to be safe. Even the ones who get jealous.

 

[TrystinTrimble]

 

Lazy? Perhaps Im just a wee bit lazy. I get what you're saying, and respect your viewpoint as well.  As life would only allow it, we all have our seperate experiences that have a huge say in how we prioritize our time, or that influence the way we want to invest our mental energy. Let me break it on down, cause my work ethic is above average for sure and I'm not just a princess who is allergic to work...

 

So I have been doing this lovely vocation for approx 15 years. I was fortunate enough to fall in with the right people at the start but that does not mean that I have been free of bullshit. There has been so much, and I mean SO MUCH it has to add up to a FULL YEAR of nothing except people who were "not a go" or "ONLY out to take advantage " or otherwise just undermine my cause.  For at least 10 years, there was no screening I was aware of and I used only my intuition.  My intuition is strong and true, but for years I would let guys tell me my gut hesitation was me being rude to them and that I was being "too harsh" and that my bad feeling towards them was not correct because they were "trustworthy" and I was just some uppity brat "asking for handouts." I got tlle message that I was a waste of consideration and that I was too entitled and lazy to know anything about who I was fixing to be at the mercy of...and i let people tell me that I needed to have a job. That I was scamming them when they were fully informed of my schtick, and they had gone to the trouble of contacting me.  My bad feeling about someone would often go unheeded and I'd see them anyway because they had convinced me I was not good enough  to say no to anyone. I was often lowballed by people who were already In my front door, their reasoning being "I should want to make a guy happy without it ALWAYS being about what I can get out of it." I-- too regularly to be written off--was flat out ripped off, and guilt tripped by the person who was doing ALL the lying and ALL the predatory fuckery. I've heard it all and had my character shredded by people who didn't deserve to be anywhere near my mind, called dishonest by people who are incapable of anything besides manipulating people. Stood up more times than I can count, paid by some fake method plenty of times by people who knew that they were wrongly accessing and cheating a girl who was in college and they knew that it would be very bad when I learned that their "check" for my "books" was actually "their next nut" being at the cost of "my dignity ." They knew it was extremely wrong and they just gave NO fucks that there was a chick across town who was devastated that she had allowed (and even enjoyed) being touched by such a slimy and uncaring person.  And on top of it, that girl was now in a total panic over failing her 16 hrs over a couple dumb books. It's horrible and wrecking to a chick to be tricked out her pants by a total lying shit heel. It's something I NEVER care to experience again. Those guys who said I wasn't working, all got proven wrong. 5 years of that shit happening once a week, and I was graduating university with no loans to repay. I had given up the substances that make it easy for bad men to control broke women. I forgive those guys who paved my road to education with miles and miles of their selfish disregard for other people. Forget? Hell no .

 I've been screening for a handful of years now, and the bullshit is never at a shortage.  I have spent countless hours of my unrecoverable time calling references who were not able or willing to make it possible for me to pass a guy.I have spent even more time chasing down facts on guys who for whatever reason, I would never actually ever see in person. If I could have back all the time I'd spent over 5 years on screening people who never materialize...  Paul...it's very difficult for me to think about. A huge chunk of my 20's is gone forever and it is painful to realize that a good full year of my life has been stolen by people who I will never know a thing about.   It is the only thing about all this that just wrenches my gut, the fact that ive been receptive to years of people lying to me for purposes to serve their instant or Ill gotten gratification.  I've been set up before , and that's not fun either. But...

I'm a provider who you can easily see, invests effort into myself. I have hobbies, an s.o., and I look very good out of my clothing. My nails look good always, and I do them carefully so that you fine fellas can enjoy a visual fantasy. I do things I love, and the things I don't love to do are for my greater good in some way.  

The bottom line on checking all these things I'm told by guys who don't follow my directives...there is simply too many of those references that will be nothing but 10 more minutes of my life completely wasted, and not only is that just something I've gotten unable to do as a result of my own set of experiences...it's something that is not worth my efforts to me when I'm being told that I should want to, by someone whose very first impression to me, is being shaped by them not caring if their first interaction with me is  "my time/comfort is not important to them. " It is entirely NOT yalls fault that I want info yall can't comfortably supply. It's unfair and I wish I could ease up on it. But it is still my reality and I personally am not able to deal with the consequences that not running numbers has left me to face.

I don't think guys who can't do it are all just assholes, like Paul . He's never emailed me and declared that I'm not to be trusted and he wants to see me anyway. He's explained his viewpoint to me and I've explained mine. It's all the ones who wanna hit me up as if they're owed my automatic trust , that make me ragey and these days, they are the only consistent thing that makes this hobby real actual work. I am lazy about references, but I am one diligent woman who can say I truly care about my own well being, and the happiness and prosperity of everyone I hobby with is my goal or wish. I'm just not wasting my life on people who wanna bully me as they ask me to spread my legs for them. Can I get a "fuck that?!"

[Paul Pudenda]

You care about your well-being, fine.  I care about mine.  I guess we are BOTH assholes.  Have a nice day.

[Jez UaBriain]

I, too am an asshole at times. And I, too have been in this business for at least 15 years now. (I was a late bloomer entering the biz) , Guys, don't come down to hard on her, she has made some good points and try to understand some of the bullshit we have dealt with from some of our wannabe clients.This trade has its share of those who don't give a rats ass about our well being.  But we alone are in control of whom we respond to. The best bet trystin, and you know this is follow your own hoe-dar. And it isn't hard to understand job burnout either, We are on our A+ game when we meet with a client.  And it wears on you. We'd be crazy to say it doesn't.

There are times when I have been working a lot that I don't feel so nice, so sweet, and all that. When that happens |I do my best to step back into my real life, meet up with my girl friends and have some fun. Then when I need to get my lazy butt back to work I am more tolerant of people and their foibles.

[Guest]

13 hours ago, TrystinTrimble said:

.I'm just not wasting my life on people who wanna bully me as they ask me to spread my legs for them. Can I get a "fuck that?!"

Fuck that, indeed!

Thank you for your thoughtful post. Anybody who thinks TLDR on this is missing out on an opportunity to gain some perspective. 

Looking back through this thread, we began with the OP saying "book me through p411, or I will need some real world info like a real phone number to verify you." This is hardly revolutionary. It's called "not newbie friendly" and is consistent with what a lot of ladies do. Your p411 page says basic plus one, again pretty straight forward.

So I have two questions. Do you screen p411 appt requests beyond that, or is that good enough? Do you try to confirm with the source of those okays? Some ladies have said "I don't care how many okays you have, I need your real name and phone" which IMHO defeats the purpose of p411, but if that's what it takes for her to feel safe, so be it.

My second question is more general. Can a provider in this market make it financially off of p411 (or similar "whitelist verified") business alone? I have known several ladies over the years who did no advertising outside of p411 and all their business came through that site. Seemed to me they did just fine. 

Anyway, to the OP, thanks for sharing your experience and feelings. And good luck!!

[TrystinTrimble]

23 hours ago, Paul Pudenda said:

You care about your well-being, fine.  I care about mine.  I guess we are BOTH assholes.  Have a nice day.

I definitely did not say either of us are assholes, 

You have a nice day also..

[Paul Pudenda]

Apparently I misread this.  My apologies.

On 6/16/2016 at 5:20 PM, TrystinTrimble said:

I don't think guys who can't do it are all just assholes, like Paul .

 

Edited June 18, 2016 by Paul Pudenda

[Gregorysymph]

After reading this thread in which some important issues are brought up, I felt a need to meet this outspoken lady. I don't want to say I agree or disagree with her statements here, but I feel compelled to write a review on our meeting. Whether it is positive or negative shouldn't really matter because it will only be my opinion.

[contrails]

6 hours ago, Gregorysymph said:

After reading this thread in which some important issues are brought up, I felt a need to meet this outspoken lady. I don't want to say I agree or disagree with her statements here, but I feel compelled to write a review on our meeting. Whether it is positive or negative shouldn't really matter because it will only be my opinion.

I really wanted to meet her too. But the restriction on the burner phone regardless of being on p411 is a deal breaker. I've already been burned by a provider and not going to do that again. 

[contrails]

8 hours ago, contrails said:

I really wanted to meet her too. But the restriction on the burner phone regardless of being on p411 is a deal breaker. I've already been burned by a provider and not going to do that again. 

Trystin's pm'd me today and I have misread her requirements. With a p411 a real number is not required. My bad!!

Sorry Trystin I tried to delete my comment for the error but it will not delete.

Edited June 23, 2016 by contrails

[Mandrewthe4th]

On 6/23/2016 at 0:02 AM, contrails said:

I really wanted to meet her too. But the restriction on the burner phone regardless of being on p411 is a deal breaker. I've already been burned by a provider and not going to do that again. 

Hell no, I wouldn't waste my time of day with anyone who wants to post this type of bullshit.  

This is all a business.  If we meet for BCD it's because of the cash I have, not because the lady is dying to meet me.  Its because we are trading two services (the physical and the mental) for a monetary amount.  Nothing wrong with that.  I run a roofing company all day long and do the same thing with my clients.

Much like our wonderful provider here, I have policies for what type of customer I want.  Want to try and get me to help you with insurance fraud?  Not in.  You know a friend who taught you the loopholes around building code?  Not for me.  You want to replace one slope so it gets fixed but isn't tied in correctly?  Find another contractor.  I don't make public posts about how annoying it is that I keep having people like that call my office, or that it takes time out of my day where I could be making more money.  I simply fire them as customers.  Tell them I'm not interested and move on.

 

Providers who act like adults and don't cause drama are the ones I respect and who deserve our patronage.  But the ones who use these forums to bitch and whine?  They teach me where not to spend my money.  Whether it's because they don't know how to deal with clients, because they complain that they aren't getting their rocks off, or even just because they are nasty and can't stop talking down to the guys that hobby.  Interestingly enough, there were only 2 Providers who were on my blacklist and they commented in here and helped support that I never want to waste my time even calling them.

 

Which is all just a long way of saying that these threads are a great way for me to save my money by not wasting my time.

[TrystinTrimble]

You know, just cause you don't agree, doesn't mean it's "drama."  Females CAN say some words and they aren't necessarily just a bunch of hysterical crap. In fact, guys who come here and keep this tough old bird of a thread alive another day by dismissing it all as some dumb stuff he is well above....well those are the ones who I'd say are feeding the drama into the thread...I dont talk down to anyone, but I see how it can seem that way to those who have to crane their necks to try and see the weather up here

 

But anyhow...yup. Noted, that uh..."poodle_doodle" is not calling me. The one whose handle has a PURSE DOG in it. Think about that for just a minute.

Edited June 28, 2016 by TrystinTrimble
Whatever

[Lucy Kitten]

On 6/24/2016 at 6:33 PM, Poodle_Doodle said:

Hell no, I wouldn't waste my time of day with anyone who wants to post this type of bullshit.  

This is all a business.  If we meet for BCD it's because of the cash I have, not because the lady is dying to meet me.  Its because we are trading two services (the physical and the mental) for a monetary amount.  Nothing wrong with that.  I run a roofing company all day long and do the same thing with my clients.

Much like our wonderful provider here, I have policies for what type of customer I want.  Want to try and get me to help you with insurance fraud?  Not in.  You know a friend who taught you the loopholes around building code?  Not for me.  You want to replace one slope so it gets fixed but isn't tied in correctly?  Find another contractor.  I don't make public posts about how annoying it is that I keep having people like that call my office, or that it takes time out of my day where I could be making more money.  I simply fire them as customers.  Tell them I'm not interested and move on.

 

Providers who act like adults and don't cause drama are the ones I respect and who deserve our patronage.  But the ones who use these forums to bitch and whine?  They teach me where not to spend my money.  Whether it's because they don't know how to deal with clients, because they complain that they aren't getting their rocks off, or even just because they are nasty and can't stop talking down to the guys that hobby.  Interestingly enough, there were only 2 Providers who were on my blacklist and they commented in here and helped support that I never want to waste my time even calling them.

 

Which is all just a long way of saying that these threads are a great way for me to save my money by not wasting my time.

And who the hell are you? One post wonder. Given the ration of client to provider posts I would say it's really the clients that bitch the most.

This is discussion forum where all are allowed to talk about business stuff. If we providers can't have vent out valid complaints then how will you guys ever learn?

Thank you for your post because you have definitely been added to my don't even bother list.

 

 

[gr8owl]

On 6/24/2016 at 6:33 PM, Poodle_Doodle said:

 Interestingly enough, there were only 2 Providers who were on my blacklist and they commented in here and helped support that I never want to waste my time even calling them.

 

 

Given the tone of your first post I am sure they are horribly disappointed.  

However, welcome and enjoy, but learn to be a bit more clear and direct. 

[Lucy Kitten]

On 6/27/2016 at 9:46 PM, gr8owl said:

Given the tone of your first post I am sure they are horribly disappointed.  

However, welcome and enjoy, but learn to be a bit more clear and direct. 

I have a feeling that we've met this person before, it's awfully familiar and troll like for a first post.