Posted June 1, 2016 On 5/29/2016 at 10:43 AM, pfunk said: Of course! We've all been damaged in some way (imperfect parenting, bullies in childhood, genetic physical and mental deviations, etc.) . Some of us more severely than others, for certain. None of us escape without a mark. When therapists decide "one size fits all" for causation, though, they've left the path to healing. Our "travels" in life make us who we are. Some things that happen to us are good, others are bad. Therapists for some reason (profit ones perhaps?) seem to think that if we go outside what the "normal" think is acceptable, then there must be some underlying reason for the act. This is how the expensive degree is paid for. Of course, I would NEVER condone abuse, it seems that they are looking for it in anyone that sits on their couch. "Tell me about your mother" Were you a happy child?" Just saying.... 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 1, 2016 First, let's try this on for size....it's not what happens to you, it's how you take everything it. Life is about choices. Second.... DIE THREAD DIE! 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 1, 2016 On May 29, 2016 at 6:43 PM, Bit Banger said: This therapist (and many others too) is so full of BS I can't begin to think of the harm they do with their "you were abused" mantra. ... This is not to say that ALL therapists are bad/evil. Just as their 'one size fits all' is bogus, so would be this generalization. Both my wife & I found therapists quite useful over the years. But none of them brought up a repressed memory diagnosis. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 1, 2016 (edited) Moreover, the repressed memory crap was in vogue over thirty years ago. Not surprisingly, a small minority of therapists just happened to find the vast majority of the cases, proving yet again, if all you've got is a hammer, most everything looks like a nail. As far as I know, the entire concept of "repressed memory" is pretty well debunked. Edited June 1, 2016 by Happymon 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 1, 2016 I feel like you are all right. The OP has a solid point being made by a therapist...sex workers have a tendency to come from abusive backgrounds. The mistake here is the use of the word "all". We know that you cannot stereotype an entire group like that without being WRONG. But...people here continue to drink the "all escorts are just hot women with high libidos who like to spread joy to the world" stuff. I'm sorry but I agree with Abigail on this. The majority...large portion...high percentage...of escorts absolutely do have abusive (sexual, physical, or mental) backgrounds. Many also have addictions. Basically, a woman doesn't typically sign up for a life of escorting if she has other options. But some do. Some do it because its fun. Some do it because their insatiable. Some do it because it gives them a nice lifestyle. Tons and tons of reasons people do it. So...I feel everyone is right... 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 2, 2016 4 hours ago, engineer said: I feel like you are all right. The OP has a solid point being made by a therapist...sex workers have a tendency to come from abusive backgrounds. The mistake here is the use of the word "all". We know that you cannot stereotype an entire group like that without being WRONG. But...people here continue to drink the "all escorts are just hot women with high libidos who like to spread joy to the world" stuff. I'm sorry but I agree with Abigail on this. The majority...large portion...high percentage...of escorts absolutely do have abusive (sexual, physical, or mental) backgrounds. Many also have addictions. Basically, a woman doesn't typically sign up for a life of escorting if she has other options. But some do. Some do it because its fun. Some do it because their insatiable. Some do it because it gives them a nice lifestyle. Tons and tons of reasons people do it. So...I feel everyone is right... I don't feel like I am a minority being a mentally happy, willing provider. Using words like majority is just as wrong as using "all". Still paints most of us with the same brush and still isn't true. The majority of clients pay because they couldn't get it any other way. Most clients are fat and ugly. Broad generalizations are hurtful. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 2, 2016 10 minutes ago, Lucy Kitten said: . Broad generalizations are hurtful. I completely agree! No one (escort or client) on this board has done a scientific study, with thousands of escorts, so nobody here, has any real data, to base a definitive conclusion on. I'd love to see a link to peer-reviewed study, but I don't think it exists. Lotsa theorizing, nevertheless. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 2, 2016 On 5/29/2016 at 11:28 AM, gr8owl said: Can we please just kill this pointless and demeaning, insulting thread in its entirety and move on? Yes, kill it! 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 2, 2016 They stab it with their steely knives, But they just can't kill the beast. (Don Henley / Glen Frey) 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 2, 2016 This answers the question of, why some people would choose a gun over sex...to shoot threads like this. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 3, 2016 4 hours ago, Kashmir said: This answers the question of, why some people would choose a gun over sex...to shoot threads like this. Brava! 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 10, 2016 On May 31, 2016 at 9:46 PM, abigailfox said: We can all be kind to each other, but unfortunately the truth hurts. And yes, I did have a decent upbringing, unfortunately addiction is also in my DNA. So, I ended up here for bad reasons. I've been in recovery for four years now. I'm a part timer, but I genuinely enjoy this, otherwise I wouldn't be here, thankfully I don't have a therapist or the reasons could be analysed to death lol. Point being, most women do not get into this for the right reasons, some, but not most. When I attend meetings, most of the women there have turned to this work to fuel addictions. Again, not all, but I see many of them. They are not bad people by any means, far be it from me to judge. I do know one or two who were sober. That's where the list ends. Honesty is part of sobriety, otherwise I wouldn't be bothering with this thread, as I feel many don't want, or care to know the truth. Watch Bruna Surfistnha. Good movie. There is a growing movement in the medical community that believes DNA has little if anything to do with addiction. Rather, it’s believed addiction is a symptom of trauma based in childhood, including but not exclusive to sexual abuse. The culture and environment in which one is raised plays a large part. That isn’t to say we all had bad upbringings or our parents/guardians were inherently abusive people. It’s far more complex. What begin as coping mechanisms in infants and children become pathogens in adults. Addicts self medicate with drugs/alcohol/sex to relieve pain. Getting sober is a great thing but it doesn’t remedy the genesis of the trauma. To ridicule therapy and analysis is to deny the causation of addictions. It also perpetuates long standing stigmas associated with trauma and addiction. I commend your four years in recovery and I agree honesty is part of sobriety, if it wasn’t I wouldn’t have bothered. The truth is modern society and medicine have failed miserably when it comes to understanding addiction. To those interested in more progressive theories, studies and work I would suggest researching Dr. Gabor Mate. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 13, 2016 On May 30, 2016 at 9:38 PM, pitbull said: Well, that's fascinating, and it completely makes sense. You simply don't see women from ideal upbringings enter this profession. You'd be surprised. If I wanted sex, I could get it from anyone, regardless of their "upbringing." All you need is time and money, not even looks (but it helps on the introduction ). I love the honesty that goes with the hobby, regardless of your background that got you into it. We all were abused, we all have flaws, who cares. Enjoy today (without the aid of a chemical fog) and move forward. You can spend your life trying to figure out why or you can spend it enjoying every minute you have left. Your choice.... 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 13, 2016 2 hours ago, Womanlover-3464 said: You'd be surprised. If I wanted sex, I could get it from anyone, regardless of their "upbringing." All you need is time and money, not even looks (but it helps on the introduction ). I love the honesty that goes with the hobby, regardless of your background that got you into it. We all were abused, we all have flaws, who cares. Enjoy today (without the aid of a chemical fog) and move forward. You can spend your life trying to figure out why or you can spend it enjoying every minute you have left. Your choice.... That's interesting, but it does not address the fact that upbringing correlates to the likelihood of getting into the profession. And no, if you wanted sex, you could not get it from "anyone, regardless of their upbringing." Anyone? Come on now. Sorry, not true. There are some women that you could never get, regardless of your time and money. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 13, 2016 On June 1, 2016 at 8:51 PM, pfunk said: I completely agree! No one (escort or client) on this board has done a scientific study, with thousands of escorts, so nobody here, has any real data, to base a definitive conclusion on. I'd love to see a link to peer-reviewed study, but I don't think it exists. Lotsa theorizing, nevertheless. Yeah, all we do is theorize, but if you honestly believe that upbringing does not have a strong correlation to whether a woman gets into the business, well, I think you are deluding yourself so that you feel better about your participation in the business. A long-time participant in this hobby, a man who has seen hundreds of ladies, once told that the overwhelming majority of these ladies "have issues" and/or "something is off." Does this mean that the ladies are bad or unworthy of respect? No, of course not. To me, they are angels of mercy in a sea of sometimes desperate loneliness. That said, I'm just getting kind of sick of some people (not you) trying to perpetuate the myth of the Penthouse Happy Hooker. They have issues, we have issues, we all have issues. And on we go. -1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 28, 2016 (edited) What is "ideal upbringing"? Being up for interpretation it can't be a deciding factor. Edited June 28, 2016 by Cecilia 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
