Blacklisted?

[dodgerman]

I don't know if this is an appropriate question but is there any way to see if someone is being "blacklisted" (for lack of a better term) by TOB providers.

Seems a gent never had problems securing a date before recently....now the last two he's contacted have said "No thanks" without giving a reason.

On top of it, he's given nothing but good reviews so something is amiss.  Any insight would be greatly appreciated.

[pfunk]

 Maybe his perspective was different than that of the provider.

I'm sure this is the case. Saying the wrong thing, at the wrong time, can cause the girl to believe you are creepy, or scary. Also, guys who try to negotiate pricing, push boundaries (regardless of how "politely"),  try to become "message-pals", or bad mouth other escorts and clients, tend to get bad reputations, without ever knowing they did something wrong.

I've been guilty of all these, at some point. It's impossible to be perfect! 

Edited November 2, 2015 by pfunk

[mgiadarling]

how does one go about adding to this list if they're not yet a verified provider yet?

[mgiadarling]

that would be great! thank you!!

[Kitty_Rains]

Your "friend" may state that he is a perfect gentleman but really, unless you've been BCD with him - do you really know what he's like during a session?
I doubt it.

Believe me when I tell you that a lot of reviews I read are fluffed up from the hobbyists point of view to make them appear 
more gentleman-ly, macho, sex-champion .. you name it (i'm certain im not the only provider who has read clients say they went like stallions for the hour with MSOG when truth be told they were done in 5 min too exhausted and talked about their work and families for the other 55 mins)... most men do tend to bend the truth (even if its just subcosciously) about their expolits.
 

And in fact as providers we cannot even trust the other providers whitelists.
I had a guy contact me who had 24 OK.  gave recent references who all checked out.
When I got to his hotel the first thing he asked for was FS Bare and when I threatened to immediately walk out he sat at the end of his bed and sulked like a 2 year old having a tantrum.  How the hell does anyone list a guy like this as OK and a "great guy"?  I'll tell you how.. because more than half the time Providers dont keep any kind of record of who they see or remember who is who .. and anyone who contacts them for an OK they just give it randomly (yes guys will hit up for an ok week or even a couple months after a session.
 

The way the hobby works now - its mostly stacked in the guys' favors.

Unless you've been in a room providing to someone you REALLY dont know what they are like
 

[Valentina-9802]

[snip] I actually saw a client who had been blacklisted before, but that was because the listing had no tags and no description. It was just a phone number with no helpful information. Moreover, he and I had spoken several times and established a rapport. He has turned out to be one of my most respectful and personable clients. Again, I do not make a habit of booking the blacklisted, nor would I so advise, but it was indeed a judgment call.

[dodgerman]

I'm sure this is the case. Saying the wrong thing, at the wrong time, can cause the girl to believe you are creepy, or scary. Also, guys who try to negotiate pricing, push boundaries (regardless of how "politely"),  try to become "message-pals", or bad mouth other escorts and clients, tend to get bad reputations, without ever knowing they did something wrong.

I've been guilty of all these, at some point. It's impossible to be perfect! 

Thanks, pfunk. Good info and thanks for sharing your experiences. You're right: It is impossible to be everything to everyone. We should all live and let live.

[dodgerman]

I actually saw a client who had been blacklisted before, but that was because the listing had no tags and no description. It was just a phone number with no helpful information. Moreover, he and I had spoken several times and established a rapport. He has turned out to be one of my most respectful and personable clients. Again, I do not make a habit of booking the blacklisted, nor would I so advise, but it was indeed a judgment call.

I'm sure my friend, if given the chance to establish rapport, would have no trouble selling himself just fine. It's all about someone taking the time to give a guy the chance. Blacklists, whitelists, the fact that these are mere tools, conceived of and run by actual human beings, who can easily be as honest or corrupt as they wish to be, it really all comes down to doing what is right.  Alas, what is "right" sits in a very grey area.  So, I guess I'll share with my friend to do a little self-evaluation, maybe contact a few providers, and know that there are some straight-up gals who may yet give him the benefit of the doubt.

Thanks, Valentina, for being real.

[inkspot]

Rather than your friend try to polish his reputation, he could follow the example of many providers.   Get a new phone number and invent a new name.

[Wannabebad]

Rather than your friend try to polish his reputation, he could follow the example of many providers.   Get a new phone number and invent a new name.

+1 easy peasy with today's burner phones and apps. 

[Wannabebad]

It's not like we taught him how to build a nuke. Maybe he was blacklisted cause the hooker is batshit crazy. How many of those have gotten a second, third and forth chance on this site and in life itself. Hell I didn't even come up with the idea! I just agreed with it. Two sides to every story. 

Edited November 3, 2015 by Wannabebad
Added quips

[pfunk]

Rather than your friend try to polish his reputation, he could follow the example of many providers.   Get a new phone number and invent a new name.

Yoe are correct. Bad providers, and bad clients, both have that option.

[gr8owl]

I am always amazed at how with a grand total of three short sentences in the OP a lot of folks are chomping at the bit to assume one party or the other is an asshole or otherwise big-time at fault.  There is simply nowhere near enough information to have any idea what happened - or didn't.  Maybe the last two ladies were just having a bad day (it happens!) and the "friend" tried to be funny or witty and instead said something stupid (been there, done that) and ..... click!  If he really has no idea what MIGHT be amiss, I prefer the direct approach.  Contact the last lady successfully seen without hesitation or drama, ask for another session and see what she says. If she says "hell, no" ask her why, apologize if called for and move on with life.  If she says yes, enjoy yourself and quit over thinking shit.  There you go ...... worth every penny you paid for it. 

[Vassago]

Most of the posters here are from Colorado. I realize that this is a General Forum. I tried to keep in mind that my views are coming from a position of having lived in this state for quite a while.

 

Assuming the OP is telling the truth, and his 'friend' legitimately received an illegitimate blacklisting, allow me to assuage some of your fears.

 

1. National blacklist sites are virtually worthless. The girls who pay for them, are really only paying for peace of mind. Whether any veritable information is disclosed on those sites regarding the integrity of clients, is highly debatable. Why?

 

For the reasons already listed above by several other posters. You can always change your name, phone number and ripple your identity to start over again at any time. The girls in this industry do it all the time, so finger pointing with egg on your face just makes one look foolish.

 

2. See out of state providers: I know that the likelihood that I will wind up on a blacklist from a visiting provider for unjust or over-exaggerated reasons is slim to none. Why?

 

I don't beat women. I don't steal from them and I don't waste their time. Most out of town girls couldn't give 2 turtle shits about the local drama. Think about. The girls fabricating lies on blacklist sites have no real means of striking back at clients when they feel they have been slighted, imaginary or otherwise. They put men on there to shame them and get revenge. Visiting girls come into town to make money, not argue with the locals. I have asked several out of state girls what they think about my local community in general, whether they have seen this board, and if so, whether they contribute to it. All of them (of the visiting girls I've seen, about a half dozen or so) said they do not contribute because there is too much drama. Some said they had never even heard of this board. Others said they found the most hilarious things they've ever read here, but don't write any contributions because of the drama. Take that for what it's worth.

 

3. Give it some time. There’s a good chance the provider who blacklisted you will either drop out of the profession by then or do something, write something, or say something that will get her blacklisted by the local hobbyists anyway. The kinds of women who maliciously try to defame someone unjustly through lies over the internet are usually the ones that eventually get their foot in their mouth sooner rather than later. Given the fact that you are concerned about being blacklisted at all indicates to me that you are more than likely living in a small city/town?  If not, then why worry at all? Way too many fish in the sea. Way too many ways to get lost in the crowd.

 

I have been hobbying for well over a decade. I am almost certain I am listed on some blacklist somewhere for little more than writing a bad review. The odds of me eventually running into a BSC provider get fatter by the year, especially if you are an honest reviewer in your community. Will I lose any sleep over it? Nope. Does that mean I am going to have to stop getting entangled with local women? Maybe, but it hasn't really stopped me yet. Am I going to keep having steamy passionate sex with all kinds of women from all over the world? I'd bet on it.

 

Also bare in mind the views listed here constitute a tiny portion of the overall hobbying community. You wouldn't have 90 percent of the posts from Colorado if it were otherwise. Point? Worry less. Get on with your business.

[dodgerman]

Well, after listening to what many of you had to say, I suppose it's my duty, as the original poster, to weigh in again.....

First of all, I'm not asking about myself here. Frankly, I just had a date last night, and the provider (how about lovely lady instead?) didn't even know about a BL.  I could very well be on one, too, as Vassago so eloquently described from his perspective. My "friend" is indeed a friend who does not read the forums but does do semi-regular reviews. Both he and I agree that unless there is something that NEEDS to be shared with other clients, we don't write bad reviews. Many times, if YYMV is the case, which it often is, a negative review is of little value for either party.  So, as some of you seem to be very interested in the parties involved, I can tell you that my FRIEND is older, a true gentleman, respects the ladies, has walked away a time or two when things weren't "right", and he doesn't always perform like a young stud....maybe the latter is a reason to be BL'd by providers who are equally horny but are not fulfilled? Just a thought, much like others have proposed in this thread.

Second, I never once asked about finding his BL status. [snip] It has [been] made very clear, this is the exclusive domain of the providers and one of the few ways they have to protect themselves. Note that I share her sentiment in that I would never dream of providing the names of the 2 gals who BL'd my friend. I know many of you would like to know but how does having that information help come to a conclusion? It's the same as if I were to provide the name of my friend....how would that help anything? What would happen is that [ASP] would go running to her laptop and look up the guy.  Of course, she would never share that information in return, would she :-)

Guilty until proven innocent? Really?  Thanks, Vassago and Wannabebad for your exemplary replies to this point. I'll say nothing more than I agree. Wholeheartedly. I don't know what providers do with the contacts we gents provide for screening purposes. Do you call them? Do you believe them? I suppose that I would put more weight into the actual words gleaned from an actual conversation, maybe even an email.  People tend to be more truthful when they're FTF as opposed to hidden behind an electronic curtain, perhaps not nameless but certainly faceless.

I do want to give shouts out to [snip] colleagues pFunk, inkspot, Wannabebad, gr8owl and Vassago. Each of you have provided valuable tips that I will pass on to my friend. I'll even use some of them myself. As I do have a few "friends" who are providers, who I have seen for years - and they know and don't care that I'm not exclusive - I could ask one of them to find out if/why my friend has been BL'd. But I won't. Nor would I presume to ask them to look up my name (I'll assume that since they still see me I'm either not on the list or they don't give a f*ck). And you know why? Because there's an inherent trust and respect there, one I would not dare violate not b/c they'd drop me from their "to see" list...no, b/c it's just not right.  And in spite of the fact that I may be judged "guilty until proven innocent", I'm pretty sure only a few providers actually live by that mantra.

So, as the originator of the post, I've gotten - for my friend and serendipitously for myself - all I need. As such, you all are free to carry on the thread as you see fit. I'll be lurking, reading any new tidbits of value, but I'll probably not weigh in any longer. That is, unless I see a need to defend the virtues of us "guilty" clients......Thanks again, all, for an outstanding exchange of ideas. What a wonderful country!

[amcbl1]

I agree that if the guy threatened, stalked, tried to do things when told no and was just an all around asshole then blacklist away. But if the provider was overly sensitive about something and he sneezed wrong then I'm sorry he shouldn't be blacklisted. I'd like to know who the two providers that said no are and what the reason was. Feel free to pm me if either lady knows what is being talked about. 

 

I met one provider a few years ago who said "Ouch, you're hurting me",  even though I was being as gentle as possible, when I apologized and asked what I had done wrong, she wouldn't tell me. We then resumed our activities, she stated " You're doing it again!" I again apologized and asked what was it I had done, there was no reply as to what was wrong. Instead she said "I think we just need to end this".  No, I wasn't engaged in any BDSM activities. I had the feeling she just wanted to end the session early. I wasn't blacklisted as far as I know.

My point to this is, if there is something that we hobbyists are doing that is bothering the provider, then tell us. I think the majority of hobbyists on this board would comply. Communication, as in a real relationship, is the key to prevent misunderstandings.

[gr8owl]

 

Second, I never once asked about finding his BL status. [snip] It has [been] made very clear, this is the exclusive domain of the providers and one of the few ways they have to protect themselves. Note that I share her sentiment in that I would never dream of providing the names of the 2 gals who BL'd my friend. I know many of you would like to know but how does having that information help come to a conclusion? It's the same as if I were to provide the name of my friend....how would that help anything? What would happen is that [ASP] would go running to her laptop and look up the guy.  Of course, she would never share that information in return, would she :-)

 

OK, now I am getting confused.  Did two ladies simply decline to see your "friend" and "he" was worried "someone" had black listed "him" or did two ladies black list your "friend." ?????

[boink36]

I gave this thread a couple of days to drift back on topic. they never do.................