Client and Provider relationships?

[Boricua7]

Apologies in advanced for bringing up this topic,but I have to ask due to my curiosity.

So I've wondered about something for a long time,and it’s time I’d ask. I would like to hear a ladies opinion on this.

When a new client goes to see a provider and gets "hooked",they always come to the board with "lusty" questions (you know what I mean). We all know that in reality,this is a business and most times it should be treated as such. Just because the providers are giving you a %100 to make sure that you as the client are well taken care of, sometimes the client sees is as being in love. An experienced provider knows how to play the game and sometimes it feel way too good for the thoughts to just disappear.

Whether we like it or not,some men are clingy,especially after sex. I have close friends that are in the business as well,and they have told me in several occasions that many of the clients have asked them to marry them and such. From the outside, people would agree that is just crazy talk,but to the client,it means a lot more. It all depends on how they detach from those feelings. Sometimes that is a really hard thing to do. Especially if you don't have another thing to take your mind off the provider that knocked your socks off.

Here is the other side of the spectrum. Have any providers fallen for their clients?

Many of the lovely ladies on the board provide as we all know as the GFE encounter. Have you had a session that was so intense that you have lusted after your clients? Or is it just straight up business?

I would think that if you found a client that you clicked with and he rocked your world, you may have some sort of feelings? I know that the thought process of men and women is different in some instances. Then again we all have the same feelings as far as being wanted and taken care of sexually and emotionally.

Let's face it,in reality you will not click with every single client that you meet and you will not have an earth shattering orgasm. We will never know what that percentage is, but here and there you will encounter one that will make you lose your mind.

Is it easier for women to just let those feelings disappear or do you have feelings to that client as well? I am talking about lust,not love.

Do you know what I mean?

[angela aspen]

Brace yourself for shallow comments from dudes... BUT

from MY point of view as a provider:

[snip]

I realize men were built to spread their seed.. try as much Strange as possible. My relationship with a male actor? I would have a new crop of girls at the house for everyday of the weekend, He "trusted" me to provide a harem of new pussy.

I awake every morning knowing there is a billion options for guys to take their money to. Your asking about "feelings"... my feeling toward client is that they have options and they TRUST me enough to return.

So.... I clearly see the difference between lust, sex, money...but my "feeling" is trust.

Deeper than The Biz aspect? Like Hubby Material? That happened just once. I swore it off after... but I am up it again. If it happens it happens. Its The Unicorn. The most recent client was a shrink. My MOST major turn on is NOT a huge dick or meathead (as porn portrays) but a guy who challenges the fuck out of me. I want a CHALLENGE.

Sex workers see man sausage ALLL DAAAAAY LOOOONG.... provide us with something deeper... challenge us. Romance us... give us what WE dont get.

HINT: We like good looking dudes but WE are emotional creatures.

Edited May 29, 2013 by boink36
Advertising removed.

[Guest hgritstoo]

I think that this is the most repeated thread topic of all topics. Why?

1) The girls are really good at what they do.

2) Men are hardwired by evolution to start to care for their sexual partners.

3) Did I mention the girls are good?

While I'll admit that ANYTHING is possible, after much thought I've decided that these ladies....singly or in groups....are going to be damned hard to impress. As a guy....I have to admit defeat in the battle of the sexes.

Think of all the ways we guys try to impress the ladies.

Are you good looking....odds are very high they've been with better looking men than you.

Gotta big dick? They've seen bigger.

Are you a great lover? They've had better.

Are you nice....sweet....gentle. How are THEY acting towards you?

Make a lot of money? They know richer guys than you. Hell.....THEY probably make more than you.

I could go on and on....but you get my drift. In fact....I think a lot of men are insecure and can't handle this fact. Probably one of the reasons many hobbyists are misogynists.

If a connection happens between ASP and client, it will probably be based on something OTHER than the above. Something unexpected. My advice: The envelope and its contents are an important symbol...reminding us that this is a business relationship. Until you are specifically told it is no longer needed, the relationship has not changed. It's fun to live the fantasy...but that is what you are paying for.

[NaughtyNiceGuy]

Client/provider relationships are financial. A good provider that finds a client to be okay will provide an experience that will generate repeat business because it is good for her bottom line. Of course there are a few client/provider relationships that will become true friendships and even more but that is extremely rare.

[macho]

If you want to win a "provider" over you have to beat up her pimp.

[urfan]

you hit the nail on the head hgrits.

[mj76]

Is it easier for women to just let those feelings disappear or do you have feelings to that client as well?

Yep, as soon as the $$$ disappears so do the "feelings".

[Paul Pudenda]

Relationships are good.

But don't fool yourself.

Don't lend money.

In the vast majority of cases, it IS about the money.

And yes, the ladies are good at weaving their fantasy.

[Paul Pudenda]

Yep, as soon as the $$$ disappears so do the "feelings".

Funny how that happens............caveat emptor, indeed. More like renter, though, rather than buyer.

[pitbull]

Ever see the movie, "The Man from Elysian Fields" with Andy Garcia? It's about client/provider relationships.

One provider is a "high-end" male prostitute played by Mick Jagger. Yeah, I know the concept of the male prostitute is kind of ridiculous.

Anyway, Mick falls for his LONG-TIME client and asks her to marry him. He wants her to leave her husband. Her reaction is to laugh. She honestly believes it is a joke. He laughs as a defense mechanism, because he is truly hurt.

Later on, he tells one of the other new male prostitutes: "Don't forget you're being paid. God knows she won't forget."

[urfan]

cynicus . . . omnes cynicus

[Boricua7]

Brace yourself for shallow comments from dudes... BUT

from MY point of view as a provider:

[snip]

I realize men were built to spread their seed.. try as much Strange as possible. My relationship with a male actor? I would have a new crop of girls at the house for everyday of the weekend, He "trusted" me to provide a harem of new pussy.

I awake every morning knowing there is a billion options for guys to take their money to. Your asking about "feelings"... my feeling toward client is that they have options and they TRUST me enough to return.

So.... I clearly see the difference between lust, sex, money...but my "feeling" is trust.

Deeper than The Biz aspect? Like Hubby Material? That happened just once. I swore it off after... but I am up it again. If it happens it happens. Its The Unicorn. The most recent client was a shrink. My MOST major turn on is NOT a huge dick or meathead (as porn portrays) but a guy who challenges the fuck out of me. I want a CHALLENGE.

Sex workers see man sausage ALLL DAAAAAY LOOOONG.... provide us with something deeper... challenge us. Romance us... give us what WE dont get.

HINT: We like good looking dudes but WE are emotional creatures.

Perfect. Thank you ma'am!

[Guest]

OK here is my take on it all.

Does it happen, yes of course. I am a married woman, happily I might add. My SO knows what I do, did my pics and for the most part my website. He and I have a fantastic relationship and have had one for 13 years(I have been a provider for 13 1/2). I have" friends" that I have known longer than my husband, in fact some of them know my husband and are very good friends with him too, It is after all a business. I do have one client, my first ever who will be a life long friend, that after all this time I can say I love very much. Not IN love with him but love. I have several other friends that I care for deeply, and a few that rock my socks off that when I am with them I want to run away for a weekend because the sex is so amazing I can't stop thinking about them for days. But it is just a business. If you can keep reality in check, it works fine, if you can't then it becomes a problem. My SO knows when I am gonna see Johnny rock my socks off and teases me. I just smile and tease him back and tell him that if he is UP for the cahllenge he can rock my socks too. I for that am very fortunate, he likes to share. The BIG difference is I know what is REAL and whatis NOT. Johnny might rock my socks but it isn't real love and never would be. Just a good time, but those Johnnies know it as well.

Keep a level head always and all will be good.

[macho]

WOW Melissa Sterling sounds like you have a real keeper there!!! If you don't mind pm me Johnny rock your socks off info, and I'll see if he can't show me a trick or two about multiple orgasms.

Edited May 29, 2013 by macho
I suk at gramer

[Boricua7]

Melissa, thank you for your great insight and for sharing your story. I am not into this just for the sex. I enjoy the entire experience, so it's nice to get input from the ladies as well. The more we learn about what we like the better the experience.

One thing that I have learned, is to take care of your partner. They will thank you by returning the favor. Doesn't matter if if a business or not. The main goal is for both of you to be completely satisfied.

Thanks again for your input!

[harpo]

I think that this is the most repeated thread topic of all topics. Why?

1) The girls are really good at what they do.

2) Men are hardwired by evolution to start to care for their sexual partners.

3) Did I mention the girls are good?

.

.

You are kidding ! Right ?

[2Big]

I'm the opposite of clingy. I just want to roll over and go to sleep, or continue with whatever it is I was doing. This is why I bang hookers. I busted a nut, I'm done. See ya!

Case in point:

Years ago I banged a chick at some sleazy outcall motel. Three girls were working out of a room. When one had a customer, the other two would wait in the bathroom. I didn't even bother taking my pants off. Got a quick nut in, left the condom on, zipped up and was gone.

[urfan]

you're a textbook 'hobbyist' then: find a hole, drill it and get the fuck gone

[gb0138]

Thinking with your little head will get you into trouble. Especially it you have lots of money. Your money will last forever with good stewardship. Her looks......not so much. Just something to keep in mind.

[2Big]

you're a textbook 'hobbyist' then: find a hole, drill it and get the fuck gone

That's why they call me the Gangster of Love.

http://www.sing365.com/music/lyric.nsf/Gangster-of-Love-lyrics-Geto-Boys/A83FFB5CF26F65F048256A25002B7BFD

[Guest hgritstoo]

You are kidding ! Right ?

Nope. Not a bit.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oxytocin

“Bonding: In the prairie vole, oxytocin released into the brain of the female during sexual activity is important for forming a monogamous pair bond with her sexual partner. Vasopressin appears to have a similar effect in males. Oxytocin has a role in social behaviors in many species, so it likely also does in humans. In a 2003 study, both humans and dog oxytocin levels in the blood rose after five to 24 minutes of a petting session. This possibly plays a role in the emotional bonding between humans and dogs.”

And

“Romantic attachment: In some studies, high levels of plasma oxytocin have been correlated with romantic attachment. For example, if a couple is separated for a long period of time, anxiety can increase due to the lack of physical affection. Oxytocin may aid romantically attached couples by decreasing their feelings of anxiety when they are separated.”

Just for starters. Google “pair bonding” or “bonding” along with “sex” and or “brain chemistry”. There’s tons of articles on this.

That beautiful blond with the big boobs who just BBBJ’d you to a mind blowing orgasm? Yeah. Suddenly she’s real nice. “Take her home to mama” nice. You’re screwed, dude, in more ways than one, unless you understand what’s going on.

[urfan]

cool! now i got a hip ringtone for my cell. thanks, 2b

[Boricua7]

Those lyrics are tight dawg! Ringtone it is! Lol

[mj76]

In a 2003 study, both humans and dog oxytocin levels in the blood rose after five to 24 minutes of a petting session. This possibly plays a role in the emotional bonding between humans and dogs.”

Damn, that explains why I keep bringing home stray animals. Note to self... stop petting those furry little fuckers.

[pitbull]

Nope. Not a bit.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oxytocin

“Bonding: In the prairie vole, oxytocin released into the brain of the female during sexual activity is important for forming a monogamous pair bond with her sexual partner. Vasopressin appears to have a similar effect in males. Oxytocin has a role in social behaviors in many species, so it likely also does in humans. In a 2003 study, both humans and dog oxytocin levels in the blood rose after five to 24 minutes of a petting session. This possibly plays a role in the emotional bonding between humans and dogs.”

And

“Romantic attachment: In some studies, high levels of plasma oxytocin have been correlated with romantic attachment. For example, if a couple is separated for a long period of time, anxiety can increase due to the lack of physical affection. Oxytocin may aid romantically attached couples by decreasing their feelings of anxiety when they are separated.”

Just for starters. Google “pair bonding” or “bonding” along with “sex” and or “brain chemistry”. There’s tons of articles on this.

That beautiful blond with the big boobs who just BBBJ’d you to a mind blowing orgasm? Yeah. Suddenly she’s real nice. “Take her home to mama” nice. You’re screwed, dude, in more ways than one, unless you understand what’s going on.

Some of us knew you were NOT kidding. Don't want to stray to the topic of religion, but I suspect you offended someone's religious sensibilities when you referred to "evolution" in the context of relationships. There is no doubt that evolution has fostered a kinship among MANY different species, but I digress.

[urfan]

hmmm, don't find the word "evolution" in grits post... or am i digressing?

[Guest hgritstoo]

Some of us knew you were NOT kidding. Don't want to stray to the topic of religion, but I suspect you offended someone's religious sensibilities when you referred to "evolution" in the context of relationships. There is no doubt that evolution has fostered a kinship among MANY different species, but I digress.

Perhaps. The evolutionary explanation for bonding also makes sense in light of the need to protect offspring. As the braincase evolved larger, earlier less developed birth became necessary. The chemical bonding evolved as a way to make the stronger male stay to protect female & offspring.

Boys....I'm tellin' you....don't take females lightly. They have chemical mind control capabilities. They can withstand the pain of giving birth. And, Did you know they bleed? Yeah! Once a month they just start bleeding. AND IT DOESN'T KILL THEM! You just don't want to mess with that kind of power! Avoid relationships!

NOTE: At some point in this post I began to kid. For those with difficulties, determining where, exactly, is left as an exercise for the reader.

[rachelsonoma]

What an interesting topic. There is a school of thought that encourages providers to remain professional with clients no matter if she likes him a lot, or if he is a long-time regular. This means that she can have feelings, but she must not allow her feelings to affect her dealings with the client. She is free to feel a variety of emotions around her inteactions with the client, all the way from "I think I am temporarily in love" to "I am physically attracted to him."

I think Melissa's reflection illustrates that she is mature enuf to handle the emotions that can happen. Her SO has the self-confidence to accept it. She enjoys it for what it is. She does not let things get out of perspective.

Jay, you asked if it is easy to let go of the feeling of lust. My answer to you is yes and no. I love feeling lust. I forget it so I can go on with my daily life. I recall it at stressful moments and the memory relieves my stress.

[Boricua7]

Thank you Ms Rachel. Loved the last quote of your post. Nice way to think about it.

[Sennagig]

Perhaps. The evolutionary explanation for bonding also makes sense in light of the need to protect offspring. As the braincase evolved larger, earlier less developed birth became necessary. The chemical bonding evolved as a way to make the stronger male stay to protect female & offspring.

Boys....I'm tellin' you....don't take females lightly. They have chemical mind control capabilities. They can withstand the pain of giving birth. And, Did you know they bleed? Yeah! Once a month they just start bleeding. AND IT DOESN'T KILL THEM! You just don't want to mess with that kind of power! Avoid relationships!

NOTE: At some point in this post I began to kid. For those with difficulties, determining where, exactly, is left as an exercise for the reader.

What a self defeatist post this is. While I agree with your end reasoning, I'm not sure how you arrived there.

Think of all the ways we guys try to impress the ladies.

Are you good looking....odds are very high they've been with better looking men than you.

Yes, but that holds true the other way around as well. Take care of yourself and TRY to look good. You don't have to look like Colin Farrell, I can assure you they are not Kate Beckinsale.

Gotta big dick? They've seen bigger.

There are at least 7 billion people on this planet. Pretty sure there is at least 1 with a larger dick than me. This is hardly news. So shave your pubic hairs and work on flattening your stomach. Your dick will look and feel plenty big.

Are you a great lover? They've had better.

Define "great lover". "Better"? I don't know, I'm pretty damn good in the sack. I'm not the best. I don't try to be. I love kissing, it's my secret weapon. I enjoy myself and I know several women who have enjoyed me. That's good enough for me.

Are you nice....sweet....gentle. How are THEY acting towards you?

Well they're not exactly kicking me out the door. Be nice. Play nice. Enjoy yourself. Sometimes something extraordinary happens.

Make a lot of money? They know richer guys than you. Hell.....THEY probably make more than you.

"Only after the last tree has been cut down

Only after the last fish has been caught

Only after the last river has been poisoned

Only after the air has been polluted

Only then will you find money cannot be eaten"

I get it. It's a transaction. So what. Once the deal has been made, do they care if you've arrived in a Ferrari? I doubt it, especially if you've worked on the first two challenges listed above.

Maybe I take a hobby a bit differently than most. If my hobbies were easy, they wouldn't be worth pursuing. In the end everyone is going to die. It's not about money, or fame or how big your dig is or any of that useless horseshit. It's about how hard you tried to enjoy yourself while you lived. It's about how hard you tried ....

I could go on and on....but you get my drift. In fact....I think a lot of men are insecure and can't handle this fact. Probably one of the reasons many hobbyists are misogynists.

Or it could be that they are just not very good at understanding women.

If a connection happens between ASP and client, it will probably be based on something OTHER than the above. Something unexpected. My advice: The envelope and its contents are an important symbol...reminding us that this is a business relationship. Until you are specifically told it is no longer needed, the relationship has not changed. It's fun to live the fantasy...but that is what you are paying for.

The part I agree with mostly.