Things your ASP won't tell you

[Guest hgritstoo]

It must be the service industries.

http://www.foxnews.com/travel/2013/01/02/17-things-your-flight-attendant-wont-tell/

Some of this is the customer's fault. Some of it is due to laziness on the part of the service providers.

So, ladies and gentlemen, in the spirit of the above article,

Let's make a list of the things your ASP won't tell you.

[Guest]

I really love it when you're late

you're so good at sex I should give you a discount

when you smell like stale beer and cigarettes it is a huge turn on for me

oh no! Please don't clean your ass before you come to my place

please rub your rough scratchy beard all over my delicate pussy

I really like it when you show no compassion for me and make it very clear that this is all about you and that I, as a person, do not matter to you

please stuff the envelope full of ones and short my donation

your 2.5 inches of dick is so satisfying

oh, you have dirt under your fingernails? Please stick your fingers in my pussy

I will give you a discounted rate if you bring your friend along

yes, you can take me out to dinner free of charge

oh! I would love to come to your residence on an outcall and get busy on your dirty comforter that hasn't been washed in three years

I really love it when you act arrogant, aggressive, and have an attitude of entitlement

sure your mom can watch

please burn my ass cheek with a cigarette while you're fucking me in doggy style position

I will give you back $50 if you stay over your time by a half hour

I love it when the calluses and corns on your feet scratch me and rip holes in my thigh high stockings

sure you can wear my lingerie even though you are five sizes bigger than I am

I like your dick cheese

please be drunk when I show up for appointment

I would love to do an appointment in your parents basement

don't mind the shitty diapers on the bed over there, we will just stay in this corner of the bed

you bought me some new clothes from the thrift store? I love them!

I would be happy to change your diaper

yeah, sure, I would like grilled cheese made from your iron and ironing board

the sores on your penis are very attractive

I like it when you belittle me and talk about how great other escorts are during our whole entire appointment

will you please e-mail me 400 times between now and our next appointment

please get stalker-ish and fall in love with me and not respect my requests to leave me alone when I ask you to do so

oh! Please! Please! Please! Tell me that you are a reviwer and you could really help my career

please criticize me and in a condescending tone ask me how long I plan to be in this business

please give your wife my phone number. I would love to hear from her!

[pitbull]

She'll never say "I love you" and mean it. That is either the worst thing or the best thing about the whole situation.

[fortysomething]

I love this! Should be a primer for Johns.

[Doug28]

The truth.

We can't handle the truth.

And don't want it.

[2Big]

I don't care what the flight attendant thinks of me, and I don't care what a provider thinks of me. Seriously, just do your damn job.

[Guest hgritstoo]

The truth.

We can't handle the truth.

And don't want it.

Maybe. Maybe not. But you’re probably right. I hesitated before posting this, wondering if it would be possible to get an honest discussion going.

Destiny’s responding post is probably as close to truth as anything. And a lot of that is good stuff to know…….when the seller and the buyer collaborate, the business experience is generally better for both of them…..regardless of the service being provided. But there are some items on her list that the customer cannot do anything about. Here, the truth may hurt, but in the long run the customer may be better off knowing about it anyway so they can make an informed purchasing decision and select a different provider.

In a business where the final product is a fantasy, attitude is everything. Things that contribute towards a negative attitude will reduce the quality of the product I am buying.

Also, just as the flight attendants cheat on things like decaf, I’d be interested in learning some of the “bad-service” tricks from the guys that they’ve experienced over the years.

I don't care what the flight attendant thinks of me, and I don't care what a provider thinks of me. Seriously, just do your damn job.

I generally agree that, whatever service I am buying, the service provider should just do their job properly. But to a certain extent, I DO care at least a little bit about the opinion those serving me have for me.

If you cop the same attitude in restaurants as you do on this board, I’ll wager you’ve consumed gallons and gallons of spit over the years.

[Guest Jake]

That list isn't entirely accurate:o

[pitbull]

I don't care what the flight attendant thinks of me, and I don't care what a provider thinks of me. Seriously, just do your damn job.

Trust me. You don't want this attitude around waiters. I waited tables for 7 long years. We do things to your food and drink. We kick back and watch you consume our bodily fluids.

Perhaps nothing is shocking on this board, but you would be shocked. It costs nothing to be a nice guy, so why not be one. If not, you are dealing with other fellow human beings, and these human beings will exact their revenge. Believe it.

And just like providers will never tell you certain things, waiters will never hint that you just drank half rum and half urine. You should be so lucky to only ingest urine.

[Guest Adelle Ashby]

That list isn't entirely accurate:o

I agree, and I think that it's just for fun because I disagreed with a few

[Pirate]

Holy shit, Destiny . . . wow. I am surprised you haven't retired after putting up with so much bullshit.

[Guest FLSTC]

Wow, that kinda kills the illusion for those of us that give it our best shot. Seems to be a number of ladies posting lately with dim views of things or issues with guys.

[Bethanie]

It must be the service industries.

http://www.foxnews.com/travel/2013/01/02/17-things-your-flight-attendant-wont-tell/

Some of this is the customer's fault. Some of it is due to laziness on the part of the service providers.

So, ladies and gentlemen, in the spirit of the above article,

Let's make a list of the things your ASP won't tell you.

Great article! Wish there was another one, "What your airline pilot won't tell you." But that would be scary to everyone who flies frequently. Haha, they call it the cockpit for a reason.

On topic, "What your provider won't tell you": I think that any provider who responds honestly might lose some business, because this business is about catering to fantasies. However, I have read some great articles written by anonymous providers, and they were pretty funny! One mentioned guys who take ten minutes to put their shoes on, and speculated as to why so many guys show up seventeen minutes early and get stressed if you're not poised and waiting ahead of time. Another mentioned that bringing flowers is completely inappropriate, as this telegraphs that you are not attending a business meeting.

Okay, I'll be honest: It's weird when you lie about your first name, so please don't. If there's one thing that's a dealbreaker, it's guys whose email addresses say one name and their P411 clearly indicates their first name is something else. I can't enjoy sex with someone who lies, so please don't. Providers don't care what your real first name is unless you lie about it, and then it becomes indicia of "he's lying." Just tell us and we'll forget it anyway.

[urfan]

I don't care what the flight attendant thinks of me, and I don't care what a provider thinks of me. Seriously, just do your damn job

except the fact that, with very few exceptions, there is a difference between being served light snacks and a drink on a commercial airline flight and a woman blowing you and letting you pound away at her puzzy and ass for an hour.

[lola]

besides which, this is not my job. its an exchange of gifts on my free time. those who imply in a phone conversation that this is my job, dont make it through the door.

[2Big]

Okay, I'll be honest: It's weird when you lie about your first name, so please don't.

I'll make you a deal: you tell me your real first name, and I'll tell you my real first name.

besides which, this is not my job. its an exchange of gifts on my free time. those who imply in a phone conversation that this is my job, dont make it through the door.

With your attitude, it's a wonder anyone makes it through your door.

[Songdog57]

Maybe I’m not seeing it the way it really is but it seems to me that most of the ladies are pretty good about letting you know if you do something that bugs them. That and you get a lot of info from threads like this that can let you know if you need to change the way you do things. Like the flight attendants, I’m sure providers have irksome things happen that they just smile and deal with, but I think that’s true for most people in just about any job. The difference being that, due to the nature of the business, some of what the providers have to deal with can be very physically, emotionally, and financially damaging. Also it can have severe legal repercussions. Not to mention that some of it just plain gross.

I keep hoping to find a provider with the honesty and courage to suggest I consider penile reduction surgery. It’s obvious to me that I’m in dire need of the surgery, but the providers insist on pretending that there is nothing unusual about my size and carry on as if everything was normal. Talk about an elephant in the living room! Geez!

[Bit Banger]

...

Okay, I'll be honest: It's weird when you lie about your first name, so please don't. If there's one thing that's a dealbreaker, it's guys whose email addresses say one name and their P411 clearly indicates their first name is something else. I can't enjoy sex with someone who lies, so please don't. Providers don't care what your real first name is unless you lie about it, and then it becomes indicia of "he's lying." Just tell us and we'll forget it anyway.

(emphasis mine)

You may forget, but email never does. My hobby email has a totally fake name attached, obviously so.

Consider the other side of the coin. There are gals I've been seeing for years using stage names - some I know their first name, most I don't. With a few minutes thought, I can come up with barely a handful of YL who've become comfortable enough to share their full names in the past 40+ years.

[nowiamt]

"Things your ASP won't tell you":

Chill, numb nuts. This is supposed to be fun.

[Lucy Kitten]

"Things your ASP won't tell you":

Chill, numb nuts. This is supposed to be fun.

LOL! I think I have used that line verbatim.

[Bit Banger]

"Things your ASP won't tell you":

Chill, numb nuts. This is supposed to be fun.

And who said it wasn't fun?

[nowiamt]

Apparently all these guys taking Destiny's post seriously

[Bethanie]

You may forget, but email never does. My hobby email has a totally fake name attached, obviously so.

There is a difference between a hobby name/internet handle like "Harry the Hobbyist" and a totally made up name like "Jim Smith."

One is creative, one is not.

Consider the other side of the coin. There are gals I've been seeing for years using stage names - some I know their first name, most I don't. With a few minutes thought, I can come up with barely a handful of YL who've become comfortable enough to share their full names in the past 40+ years.

The discussion is, "Things your ASP won't tell you." Right now I'm adding to it silently with plenty of things I won't tell you.

[lola]

I'll make you a deal: you tell me your real first name, and I'll tell you my real first name.

With your attitude, it's a wonder anyone makes it through your door.

i know you have not shown an appreciation for the truth. i have spent the past year and a half just ignoring that fact when i log on.

[Guest hgritstoo]

Apparently all these guys taking Destiny's post seriously

+1:mad:

Somehow this appears to have turned into a "bash Destiny" thread. Furthermore, my follow up response can be construed as joining in the chorus, when that was not my intent at all.

Let me say right now that I in no way believe that Destiny would treat someone poorly due to anything beyond their control. I have never seen her "professionally", but I hope to someday. All of her postings, and the reviews from her many fans, support my opinion of her.

Destiny, my apologies.

Wordsmithing does not appear to be my strong suit. It's ok when all I'm doing is making an ass of myself, but when it results in damage to someone else, it's time to shut the fuck up and sit the fuck down. And so I shall.

[Lucy Kitten]

+1:mad:

Somehow this appears to have turned into a "bash Destiny" thread. Furthermore, my follow up response can be construed as joining in the chorus, when that was not my intent at all.

Let me say right now that I in no way believe that Destiny would treat someone poorly due to anything beyond their control. I have never seen her "professionally", but I hope to someday. All of her postings, and the reviews from her many fans, support my opinion of her.

Destiny, my apologies.

Wordsmithing does not appear to be my strong suit. It's ok when all I'm doing is making an ass of myself, but when it results in damage to someone else, it's time to shut the fuck up and sit the fuck down. And so I shall.

It wasn't really a bash Destiny thread unless I looked away and missed something. She didn't really mention it was in jest so I suppose it was up for individual interpretation.

Asking a question like that is a recipe for disaster because obviously anything a provider wont say to your face can't be all that nice. If it was there would be no harm in telling you right?

[pfunk]

She didn't really mention it was in jest so I suppose it was up for individual interpretation.

Seemed pretty obvious to me.

Another thing an ASP won't tell you: "My posted opinions here are the opposite most girls, so I can appear to be 'different'."