The "truth" and bad reviews

[MrFister]

I already know this thread is going to devolve into sniping because this has been discussed before. But Lucy's question about men's preference for knowing why they were denied service reminded me of the difficulty in writing reviews about "bad" sessions and I thought it might offer some good discussion.

First, I don't think we can compare service denial to provider reviews. Different audiences, different purposes, different outcomes. I do think the two converge on "how much information is too much information?".

So it's easy to contribute a bad session to "lack of chemistry". Poor business practice like NCNS, etc. are also easy to call out. I think most guys would steer clear of "he said, she said" unless they have some personal score to settle. And then, shame on them for going there.

I won't write a review just because the session didn't work for me. There are too many variables - especially with my libido - to say that a provider didn't make sufficient effort to make me happy. That's a pretty boring review to write as well.

The hardest reviews to write are those where you observe some behavior - psychosis or chemical dependency in my experience - that you'd like to warn others about but, for various reasons, you cannot. The main reason being is, that unless there was some overt safety issue, it's hearsay coming from me, a john who has no medical expertise. And if the provider has a string of excellent reviews, why and how did the other guys even write those reviews? It bothers me a lot as I feel that I'm depending on others to point out what I think are obvious signs that someone is in trouble - and I'm the only one who sees a problem?

[pfunk]

41 minutes ago, MrFister said:

The hardest reviews to write are those where you observe some behaviorpsychosis or chemical dependency in my experience - that you'd like to warn others about but, for various reasons, you cannot. The main reason being is, that unless there was some overt safety issue, it's hearsay coming from me, a john who has no medical expertise. And if the provider has a string of excellent reviews, why and how did the other guys even write those reviews? It bothers me a lot as I feel that I'm depending on others to point out what I think are obvious signs that someone is in trouble - and I'm the only one who sees a problem?

People who have mental health issues, or addictions, are going to vary widely in outward appearance, and actions. They will be wonderful in some meetings, and horrible in others. It doesn't matter whether it's a provider, or a client. Heck, I vary quite a bit! That's one reason someone can have 20 great reviews, and then deliver a terrible experience. 

I agree it's difficult to post a review, because it goes against the grain of previous reviews. My advice would be, write as honestly as you can. However, I'm not in your shoes! 

 

[Guest]

My tendency in review writing is to only point out the positives (unless of course abuse is occurring right in front of me).  This is based on the whole YMMV theorem that was covered extensively in an episode of "The Big Bang Theory".  If I didn't feel a connection, the odds are good that I was at least %50 percent of the issue.  Of course, there is the option to not write a review, because you have no idea what blew up a meeting.  In that case, avoid the review.

[Lucy Kitten]

If it is something that would affect other reviewers then review it. If it's about chemistry then don't review. Lying, stealing, rude behavior are review material.

Substance abuse and mental illness should be left out. You can't diagnose someone in a review and unless someone blatantly attempts substance abuse, it isn't really review material. You could be wrong and that kind of information is very dangerous. I think I am just confirming what you already thought.

Bad reviews are OK to write just leave out the spite and be honest.

[MrFister]

Thanks for the succint reply Lucy.

I have two close family members who are bipolar so I'm very familiar with the symptoms. Let's just say that session was one of the most disturbing experiences I've had.

On a lighter note, what about all the things we leave out of great reviews to protect the provider? The extra service, off-menu items, pillow talk?

[pfunk]

1 hour ago, MrFister said:

On a lighter note, what about all the things we leave out of great reviews to protect the provider? The extra service, off-menu items, pillow talk?

I think that boils down to "being a decent human being". Mentioning something which will not help other clients, but might hurt the provider, would be rude and mean-spirited. (E.G. "she let me stay 30 extra minutes", "she wanted company, so I watched a movie with her", "she told me all about her criminal family", "She mentioned she's married" "She said she's bi-polar" "Her father owns company XYZ!" etc. etc.

There's no value in that information, for another client. His mileage will vary (as we've all experienced), and her personal life is not ours to share, so why make her life harder?  

[average1]

2 hours ago, pfunk said:

I think that boils down to "being a decent human being". Mentioning something which will not help other clients, but might hurt the provider, would be rude and mean-spirited. (E.G. "she let me stay 30 extra minutes", "she wanted company, so I watched a movie with her", "she told me all about her criminal family", "She mentioned she's married" "She said she's bi-polar" "Her father owns company XYZ!" etc. etc.

There's no value in that information, for another client. His mileage will vary (as we've all experienced), and her personal life is not ours to share, so why make her life harder?  

I especially agree with the "being a decent human being" part.  Hopefully, in reviews, posts and especially in person, I remember that for me this hobby is about human relationship and having fun.  If I am hurting someone with my words or actions, I am missing the mark.  Mutual respect, kindness and friendliness goes a long way in life.  We all have our challenges and struggles, whether it be client or provider.

[Boardmember]

This might be a bit off-topic, but not sure and I didn't want to start a new thread on reviews.

But, maybe in terms of truth in a review this 1-10 scale isn't helpful. In a field where everything appears to be subjective and everyone's mileage may vary, how does what I feel someone's appearance rate help the next client (Not slagging the admins, because I don't really have a better idea.) For example, I couldn't rate anyone as a 10 in looks or service. Since that's -- to me -- perfect. Yes? But, there are plenty of 10s' in the system.

I recently posted a review and gave the provider a 9 in each category which felt high, but I really like her and she is very pretty, very professional (in a good way, not cold etc.)  But I expect that someone else who has different preferences may not make the same judgement. For example, I saw a review of a favorite provider and he listed her looks at 5, which baffles me and I expect may not have made her feel very good (unless the client was a total jerk and she brushed it off.)

Okay...so not sure this was helpful at all, but at least it made me feel better. Posting self-rated at 10!

[MrFister]

Yeah, gave you a thumbs-up on that one 

I think we all assume the 1-10 scale is subjective. I experience the same thing you did when reviewing blondes - for whatever reason, most don't "do anything" for me so I'd probably rate them lower than other guys. When the new system came about, it was difficult for me to adjust my ratings. I don't like putting a number to a woman's beauty but that's what we got here. For this reason, I like to include something about the provider's looks and resemblance to a celebrity (if there are no face pics) so guys have some clue.

And, regarding the unspoken extras - I never include them in the my reviews. I just wanted to point out that those things get left out for the exact reasons Average1 and Pfunk state. I've sometimes used the oft-abused "YMMV" to cover that area or just written a review with less detail.

The extra usually involves fisting though. There I said it 

Edited December 16, 2015 by MrFister

[Guest]

9 minutes ago, Boardmember-2460 said:

This might be a bit off-topic, but not sure and I didn't want to start a new thread on reviews.

But, maybe in terms of truth in a review this 1-10 scale isn't helpful. In a field where everything appears to be subjective and everyone's mileage may vary, how does what I feel someone's appearance rate help the next client (Not slagging the admins, because I don't really have a better idea.) For example, I couldn't rate anyone as a 10 in looks or service. Since that's -- to me -- perfect. Yes? But, there are plenty of 10s' in the system.

I recently posted a review and gave the provider a 9 in each category which felt high, but I really like her and she is very pretty, very professional (in a good way, not cold etc.)  But I expect that someone else who has different preferences may not make the same judgement. For example, I saw a review of a favorite provider and he listed her looks at 5, which baffles me and I expect may not have made her feel very good (unless the client was a total jerk and she brushed it off.)

Okay...so not sure this was helpful at all, but at least it made me feel better. Posting self-rated at 10!

I'm really not sure what was wrong with the previous system we had in place. Assigning a number to reviews seems subjective and, in some cases, insulting to providers. I had gotten used to "Excellent-Very Good-Average-Not Good-Terrible-Rip Off" scale although never truly understood the distinction in Excellent and Very Good. I'm sure if the providers I've seen were to rate me I'd be fortunate to rate and average of 5 for looks and 5 or 6 for service...Ouch!

[mj76]

14 minutes ago, Boardmember-2460 said:

 

But, maybe in terms of truth in a review this 1-10 scale isn't helpful. In a field where everything appears to be subjective and everyone's mileage may vary, how does what I feel someone's appearance rate help the next client (Not slagging the admins, because I don't really have a better idea.) For example, I couldn't rate anyone as a 10 in looks or service. Since that's -- to me -- perfect. Yes? But, there are plenty of 10s' in the system.

 

The scale isn't very useful to me when the reviewer doesn't have many reviews. It becomes useful to me the more reviews a reviewer has. I can look and see how he ranked other ladies and if I have seen some of the ladies that he has I can get an idea of what he considers pretty which tells me if we have similar tastes or not.

[Guest]

3 minutes ago, MisterBigShot said:

I'm really not sure what was wrong with the previous system we had in place. Assigning a number to reviews seems subjective and, in some cases, insulting to providers. I had gotten used to "Excellent-Very Good-Average-Not Good-Terrible-Rip Off" scale although never truly understood the distinction in Excellent and Very Good. I'm sure if the providers I've seen were to rate me I'd be fortunate to rate and average of 5 for looks and 5 or 6 for service...Ouch!

I know exactly what you mean!!! Where do I get off judging whether a woman is an 8, 9, or 10 and her service constitutes world class, when on my best day I may be able to garner a 3 or 4 appearance rating, and a sexual performance rating of 5?  

The poor thing may have been fighting her ever-rising-gorge the entire time I was there, and I'm going to knock a point off her performance for that?

I have a real problem with number systems.  Was I robbed or shot?  No?  Was the lady the girl in the photos?  Was her ad accurate with regards to price? Did she try to be nice?  Did I get my rocks off?

 

That's a damn good day, there.  That's all I need to know.

[Keyser]

I have to agree with the sentiments here about the new review system.  The old system had quantifiable attributes (height, weight, build, hair color/length, etc, etc).  True, these are still subject to SOME interpretation or inaccuracy, but if 5 different reviewers list a lady as 5'0"-5'2" and slim/slender with waist length dark hair, you can pretty well assume that the lady who answers the door won't be a 5'10" BBW with a shaved head, or vice versa.

Some things are universal - how long was the session, how much, did she rob me.  Many other things are too subjective for a simple 1-10 scale, and the new system completely ignores the gentleman's preferences.  If I read a review that says a ladies looks are a "10", that doesn't help much.  Based on our preferences, his "10" might be my "turn around and leave", and both of us would be completely correct.  Yes, there are links to ads, etc available, but the ad itself may be two lines of text and pics of her feet.

Please add the drop down menus for physical attributes to the reviews.  After all, the "review search" gives the ability to search by height/build/hair/etc, but that searches the information that the provider filled out in her profile, not information provided by reviewers.  That should be called a "profile search", not a review search.

[amcbl1]

I noticed with my most recent review that many of the physical, age characteristics were left out and instead a link to the provider self- describing these was provided instead. I actually prefer the current numbering system instead of the old vague description of the service provided. On the other hand, since I managed to find 2 jackpots in a row, other hobbyists may view my ratings with a rather jaundiced eye. That is just a coincidence with my reappearance on this board. On another board, my reviews are far more detailed and objective and a couple of them were not so generous because there were genuine issues of misrepresentation by those providers.

[TheWhisperer]

On December 16, 2015 at 0:42 PM, Keyser said:

I have to agree with the sentiments here about the new review system.  The old system had quantifiable attributes (height, weight, build, hair color/length, etc, etc).  True, these are still subject to SOME interpretation or inaccuracy, but if 5 different reviewers list a lady as 5'0"-5'2" and slim/slender with waist length dark hair, you can pretty well assume that the lady who answers the door won't be a 5'10" BBW with a shaved head, or vice versa.

Some things are universal - how long was the session, how much, did she rob me.  Many other things are too subjective for a simple 1-10 scale, and the new system completely ignores the gentleman's preferences.  If I read a review that says a ladies looks are a "10", that doesn't help much.  Based on our preferences, his "10" might be my "turn around and leave", and both of us would be completely correct.  Yes, there are links to ads, etc available, but the ad itself may be two lines of text and pics of her feet.

Please add the drop down menus for physical attributes to the reviews.  After all, the "review search" gives the ability to search by height/build/hair/etc, but that searches the information that the provider filled out in her profile, not information provided by reviewers.  That should be called a "profile search", not a review search.

We will be adding some additional fields soon...

[Keyser]

15 hours ago, TheWhisperer said:

We will be adding some additional fields soon...

Awesome, glad to hear it

[pitbull]

The ever-present danger of the bad review is the BSC provider, or so I've been told. I believe it.