dando.shaft

Being blackmailed by a provider for cancelling a session

17 posts in this topic

If anyone has gone through this, I'd appreciate a private message.  I'm trying to get some legal counsel and not coming up with much other than "We can't help you until you are actually charged with something".  Also want to know if I can do anything to protect myself otherwise, like a protective order, as I fear she will find where I live and show up at my house.  I even sent her a cancellation fee at her request (which was a travel situation and I cancelled a week in advance) and she's still coming after me.   

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You cancelled 1 week in advance and she requested and you paid a travel fee….why did you pay?

If she is local to you she did not have any out of pocket expenses since you cancelled 1 week in advance. She didn’t travel. If she arranged for a hotel room she more than enough time to cancel the room.

If she isn’t local to you and had to fly to you…specifically only you, then she is out the cost to cancel plane tickets.

But if she was touring in your area, then she would have still had the hotel and plane expenses.

I’m curious what there is about this that you aren’t telling us.

A lawyer can’t help until something else happens like blackmail, etc.

The police can’t do anything until she does something and even then depending on what she does it may not be criminal.

You have to have a good reason for a protective order like she is harassing you on the phone, email or in person. And then you will have to go into court and tell them the entire circumstances of why you want a protective order.

You say she is still coming after you. How is she coming after you?

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ILW your response is very logical, but he may not be dealing with a rational, logical individual. I also agree that there is much more to the story that has not been revealed.  Come on, OP - what got you to this point? 

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Met her on a webcam site.... she let me know upfront she did meets and was in the same state as I was in....we had a skype date and made arrangements to meet when I was in her city for a medical appointment (which happened to be last week) so general activities and a price were agreed to.  So.... there's the evidence.  But she did not respect boundaries and started asking for money for more skype dates, upfront money for our date, emergencies, etc.   I told her I cancelled my appointment and wasn't ready to see her at this time (she offered to travel here, about 4 hours away) due to still having feelings for someone else I was involved with (which is partly true - and I guess that was my big mistake).  She got very upset said she was counting on this money, next day asked for a cancellation fee, which was a week before when we were supposed to meet.  She was out nothing but her time, and in fact by this time she had gotten nearly $500 from me for various things, and I realized even if I kept our date she was likely to not even show up.   She then kept texting, calling, harassing, more emergencies, needing more money, kept calling from different numbers so blocking was no good, as I was trying desperately to ghost her.  She finally said she was going to get a PI after me, so I changed my phone and cancelled my cashapp, which means I had to deny her last money request.  She knew my name and number (which I understand a lot of escorts now want for screening anyway) so was able to find my online business entry and my post office.  She also found my Facebook.  Basically threatened to expose me to everyone in the world and now claims to be a minor even before she said 24 and her court records say she's 24.  (She's stupid enough to use her real name too even though she's been on STG for a year and a half!).  I found out three days after I met her online she was arrested for a M1 Misdemeanor which explains her desperation.  And desperate people do desperate things.  I have heard no more from her since Wednesday night (although have unread Facebook messages).  And, although I found her on a cam site, she does have an entry on Erotic Monkey with two reviews.....  Needless to say I am done with this lifestyle.  Everyone I have attempted to meet in the last year has turned out to be a flake or scammer or really only wants to do OF, or wants four figures to meet..... I've likely had my last real life sex (versus virtual) as my dating pool at 64 is non-existant.  But this isn't worth it.  My tastes are too niche anyway (white chubby/BBW/SSBBW 30-50) and I've become more particular myself as I am now retired....why pay a lot of money to see someone I'm not really attracted to just to have some companionship?   Yes I realize my attitude isn't helping....also been romance scammed by two women I met online who weren't sex workers..... I miss how things used to be years ago.  I had so much fun in Denver and Houston and even in Oklahoma when I lived there.  I have a lot of good memories at least. 

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Wow. So...I don't have any good ideas about how to get rid of your messy problem, so I won't offer any.  I will defer to those who have specific experience.  In terms of the hobby, I am older than you and have had 8 yrs of good/great experiences - especially with TOB companions. Don't give up. Do your research and focus on well-reviewed TOB companions.  Use search to find your favorite type - lots of good choices out there.  Find a couple with whom you click and stick with them. There's an abundance of carefree fun to be had.......

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This feels like a girl without a lot of options and she had you on the hook and then you wiggled off the line just as she was about to get you in the net. She’s frustrated and as you said, possibly desperate. 

She’s obviously had some bad luck and made some bad choices and may even have some mental health challenges fueling her actions. 

I would never presuppose to tell you what to do bro. I know you’re scared.  If it was me I would stop responding in any way shape or form. Radio silence. As someone detached, it feels like hollow threats to me from someone who is trying to get you back on the hook. I sense once she sees you’re not going to bite she’ll realize it’s time to move to the next opportunity. She has just as much to loose as you from coming up on the radar. That’s only my perception from afar. 

I will reinforce what sb1212 is saying. I’m not judging, at the same time your selection and screening process has some flaws brother. I too, am your age. There seems to be enough for any niche. When you see what you like here or on any site, search on sites like TER for confirmation. Search her phone number or picture. Then reach out. 


My experience with TOB ladies is overwhelmingly positive and the couple times it wasn’t, it’s just because we didn’t click. We still respected and looked after one another. There are really great women here  


The one woman I encountered who had real mental health issues and snapped on me was because my eyes were bigger than my brain. The info was all there for the finding and I just didn’t bother to look. She had gotten banned from TOB. 

If you find that you cannot cross-check for reviews or other validating information, then brother, that’s the universe telling you to move on. 

Best of luck!

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Perhaps meet with legitimate escorts/companions instead vs delving in to the online cam girl and sugar baby genre. Most Professional escorts have written cancellation policies and written policies.m when you venture outside other genres of sweets, who don't specialize or have much experience with in-person clients, it can be the wild Wild West and you take your chances. 

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3 hours ago, MelindaMadison said:

Perhaps meet with legitimate escorts/companions instead vs delving in to the online cam girl and sugar baby genre. Most Professional escorts have written cancellation policies and written policies.m when you venture outside other genres of sweets, who don't specialize or have much experience with in-person clients, it can be the wild Wild West and you take your chances. 

darn typos. "SWers" not "sweets" although we are pretty sweet.. LOL

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On 11/18/2023 at 0:25 PM, sb1212 said:

ILW your response is very logical, but he may not be dealing with a rational, logical individual. I also agree that there is much more to the story that has not been revealed.  Come on, OP - what got you to this point? 

You are right.

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OP, I have had a few and I will use the term “slightly wacko” in my lifetime. I have always been able to walk away without issues by just ignoring their continued advances.

If I was you, I would just block her and ignore her. If she continues, report her to the police. She is harassing you. You have not committed a crime. Document everything she says and does.

Another option would be to Google her and find out everything you can about her and then when/if she contacts you again, go scorched earth on her and let her know that you know everything about her and her continued advances or by someone in her behalf will result in you contacting the police and an attorney.
 

In fact an attorney can advise you on what course of action to take.

FYI, she would have never shown up for a face to face meeting.

Good Luck.

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Thanks for all the responses.   (And sorry for the lack of paragraphs it was fairly late at night when I wrote that!)  It's been more than a week since she's tried to contact me.  No further emails, no further Facebook messages (I can see 5 'hidden' ones but that count isn't going up), no mail at my PO Box.   I pray she gave up and found someone else.  I'm sorry she needs money but she's not my responsibility. 

As for screening and cam models - one reason why I turned to that is the lack of options here, even expanding my horizons to a few hours away, was coming up empty.  Plus I know what the girl looks like if she's a cam model - a lot of providers don't show face pictures for privacy reasons and you just have to hope and pray the face is as nice as the figure....  While not on a top tier site, she was verified and had reviews on Escort Monkey.   And one mentioned experience...  from Google I have an online history of a year and a half of nearly daily posts on STG.... she definitely has the experience!  I've been burned too too many times (the worst by two civvy women) and I know when it's time to stop pulling the lever on the slot machine because the payout isn't going to come - when I see the pattern, I end it or ghost, which is what I tried to do here. 

I moved away from Denver 4 years ago so TOB ladies unfortunately are not an option unless I fly one here to me.... which I DID use to do about 10 years ago when I lived in Denver with cam models .....I do have frequent flier miles I can use....  as others have pointed out in my other thread, it could be cheaper to go to Eastern Europe. 

I've decided for now to do nothing.  If somehow she continues to threaten, I may let her know what I do know about her.   She will bring herself down as well if she tries to do that to me.  But as said before, desperate people do desperate things and make choices regardless of the potential consequences because they see it as their only way out. 

I also see this as a sign from the Universe to just stop seeking companionship from sw and sugar babies and hopefully find someone in real life, as the Universe just seems to be cock-blocking me.  I am hoping the Golden Bachelor will have women more age appropriate for me to think about dating again, as I understand so so many don't and won't.  I pray the reason all this didn't work out with the sw and the 2 civvy women, pray she shows up soon! 

And friends, if you ever go to Pittsburgh, don't see a 24 year old chubby white girl who is named Pebbles Marie, or Arielle. 

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On 11/23/2023 at 2:25 PM, ilovewomen said:

OP, I have had a few and I will use the term “slightly wacko” in my lifetime. I have always been able to walk away without issues by just ignoring their continued advances.

If I was you, I would just block her and ignore her. If she continues, report her to the police. She is harassing you. You have not committed a crime. Document everything she says and does.

Another option would be to Google her and find out everything you can about her and then when/if she contacts you again, go scorched earth on her and let her know that you know everything about her and her continued advances or by someone in her behalf will result in you contacting the police and an attorney.
 

In fact an attorney can advise you on what course of action to take.

FYI, she would have never shown up for a face to face meeting.

Good Luck.

Hello, Officer? Yes. My name is Mr. dando.shaft. I live at 123 Halfcocked and I would like to report a crime. Yes. I paid a cam girl to come have sex with me. Yes. I gave her my RWI and. And. Now she's harassing me! Yes. Said she'll show up to my door any minute! HURRY!

Hello, John E. Cockran? I need you to file charges against Crazy Cam Girl. She's nutting fucks!

LMMFAO

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Dude! There's so much to unpack you're like Jerry Springer (Good dude. May he RIP), the studio guests, and the audience - all in one!

A couple of things. First, STG is for closers. Second. RWI?! On STG?! That's third rail. No fucking bueno. Why we can't have good things. Third. She needs to show up at your door or somewhere near you and we, or at least, I would like to read about it. Right here, right now. But she's not. And if she does? Tap that ass with some Castle Law. Finally. Forced out of TOB's sacred halls, by all and any means necessary and for the love of jeebus, please find yourself a wholesome, chubby white woman with similar racial preferences! You might try a local church, library, McDonalds...independent or assisting living community, I hear they're horny and so appreciative they're "free".

Leave adventuring to adventurers.

Edited by Hobby Hobbit
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On 11/22/2023 at 2:08 PM, MelindaMadison said:

Perhaps meet with legitimate escorts/companions instead vs delving in to the online cam girl and sugar baby genre. Most Professional escorts have written cancellation policies and written policies.m when you venture outside other genres of sweets, who don't specialize or have much experience with in-person clients, it can be the wild Wild West and you take your chances. 

100% right 

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On 11/23/2023 at 7:05 AM, dando.shaft said:

Thanks for all the responses.   (And sorry for the lack of paragraphs it was fairly late at night when I wrote that!)  It's been more than a week since she's tried to contact me.  No further emails, no further Facebook messages (I can see 5 'hidden' ones but that count isn't going up), no mail at my PO Box.   I pray she gave up and found someone else.  I'm sorry she needs money but she's not my responsibility. 

As for screening and cam models - one reason why I turned to that is the lack of options here, even expanding my horizons to a few hours away, was coming up empty.  Plus I know what the girl looks like if she's a cam model - a lot of providers don't show face pictures for privacy reasons and you just have to hope and pray the face is as nice as the figure....  While not on a top tier site, she was verified and had reviews on Escort Monkey.   And one mentioned experience...  from Google I have an online history of a year and a half of nearly daily posts on STG.... she definitely has the experience!  I've been burned too too many times (the worst by two civvy women) and I know when it's time to stop pulling the lever on the slot machine because the payout isn't going to come - when I see the pattern, I end it or ghost, which is what I tried to do here. 

I moved away from Denver 4 years ago so TOB ladies unfortunately are not an option unless I fly one here to me.... which I DID use to do about 10 years ago when I lived in Denver with cam models .....I do have frequent flier miles I can use....  as others have pointed out in my other thread, it could be cheaper to go to Eastern Europe. 

I've decided for now to do nothing.  If somehow she continues to threaten, I may let her know what I do know about her.   She will bring herself down as well if she tries to do that to me.  But as said before, desperate people do desperate things and make choices regardless of the potential consequences because they see it as their only way out. 

I also see this as a sign from the Universe to just stop seeking companionship from sw and sugar babies and hopefully find someone in real life, as the Universe just seems to be cock-blocking me.  I am hoping the Golden Bachelor will have women more age appropriate for me to think about dating again, as I understand so so many don't and won't.  I pray the reason all this didn't work out with the sw and the 2 civvy women, pray she shows up soon! 

And friends, if you ever go to Pittsburgh, don't see a 24 year old chubby white girl who is named Pebbles Marie, or Arielle. 

I love =  frequent flier miles

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@dando.shaft please don't give up on  the real providers we are the best at what we do , To keep men having a happy life !

One thing stay off LC STG     .. Maybe try TER- P411 or Eros is your going to look  at other sites or just do TOB 

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Sounds like you did nothing wrong here, and he going after you like that is bullshit.  Hopefully she has gone away by now. I'd just ignore her at this point and she will move on to another mark.  Don't give up on this site.  And you don't have to travel to Asia to find company.  Try Vegas, or even Colorado.  You have a lot of life to lead. Might as well enjoy it.

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