Posted November 6, 2019 I have a bunch of TOB references, but what do they look like to providers? The reason I asked is of late sending my TOB references doesn't seem sufficient as a "provide references" mechanism. I'm not sure if there's something more I should be doing, such as contacting providers directly and asking for a reference beyond the request button. Don't misunderstand, I am not complaining about the need to provide references, I just want to make this as easy as possible and want to know "best practices." Thanks in advance. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted November 6, 2019 1 hour ago, No One In Particular said: I have a bunch of TOB references, but what do they look like to providers? The reason I asked is of late sending my TOB references doesn't seem sufficient as a "provide references" mechanism. I'm not sure if there's something more I should be doing, such as contacting providers directly and asking for a reference beyond the request button. Don't misunderstand, I am not complaining about the need to provide references, I just want to make this as easy as possible and want to know "best practices." Thanks in advance. When you say it's not sufficient, what is the exact issue you are running into? What feedback from the providers are you getting? 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted November 6, 2019 When I clicked on your profile, I see your refs are from 2018. Your last review from this year is from a retired provider. A lot of providers require current references. That might be the issue. 🤷♀️ 5 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted November 6, 2019 @No One In Particular You do have reviews from 2019. Ask the ladies you seen this year for a reference to keep them updated. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted November 7, 2019 I tend to become a regular, so though I have seen someone recently the reference shows as old. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted November 7, 2019 Funny thing is, there are still a lot of girls out there who’s idea of screening is asking you via text message if you are affiliated with law enforcement. I mean, if you are, you have to tell them, right? Screening done. I honestly wonder...was there ever a time in our history when that was true? Hasn’t everyone seen Breaking Bad by now? 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted November 7, 2019 13 hours ago, No One In Particular said: I tend to become a regular, so though I have seen someone recently the reference shows as old. Same here, ask for updates from the regular friends. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted November 7, 2019 I guess my failing was assuming references were "We approve of this person, and still do," not "He was OK when we added this." 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted November 7, 2019 26 minutes ago, No One In Particular said: I guess my failing was assuming references were "We approve of this person, and still do," not "He was OK when we added this." The thinking behind providers asking for/only giving current references is that ppl change. Go from good to bad. It happens. My thinking is that can happen at any point. It can happen within their 3mo period, or 6mo, or 12mo. It can happen the day after honestly. When I give a reference, I'm just sharing how he was during our visit. I'm not vouching for him or taking any responsibility for him. So I'll give a reference forever. I will let the ladies know if its been a year or 2 since I've seen him. Every lady has to decide for her self if they want to accept the ref and the see the guy, or require additional references. If you've seen any of your 2018 TOB refs in 2019, just give them to the provider you are trying to see now. Also, I gave you a TOB ref less than a year ago. Use me. 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted November 7, 2019 3 hours ago, BadBoy said: Same here, ask for updates from the regular friends. I know you cannot request a reference from a lady who has already given you one, but is that lady able to go in and update that reference? 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted November 7, 2019 I was wondering this same thing. Can I ask a lady to update their reference or do I need to delete it and request a new one? 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted November 7, 2019 3 hours ago, Mustang87 said: I know you cannot request a reference from a lady who has already given you one, but is that lady able to go in and update that reference? I'm only given the option to withdraw the reference. I have no idea if the mods will let them request a reference again? 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted November 7, 2019 The update thing is a good point. Just because a reference was given a long time ago doesn’t necessarily mean it’s no longer current. But if there’s no option to update it as “still applies”, then that makes the date on the reference a negative thing to have. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted November 7, 2019 5 hours ago, Mustang87 said: I know you cannot request a reference from a lady who has already given you one, but is that lady able to go in and update that reference? Oops, I was thinking of P411 OKs, which can be updated, sorry for any confusion. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted November 7, 2019 So I guess that brings the question full circle; should we delete a reference from a lady and ask for a new one periodically? 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted November 7, 2019 Providers aren’t notified when someone shares references. Your username is just added to a long list of other usernames. The best course of action is to send her a message notifying her that you shared the references. I hope this helps ❤️ 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted November 8, 2019 16 minutes ago, No One In Particular said: So I guess that brings the question full circle; should we delete a reference from a lady and ask for a new one periodically? Have you reached out to a moderator yet? If it were me, I would go straight to the source. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted November 8, 2019 4 hours ago, Hunter VanDyke said: Have you reached out to a moderator yet? If it were me, I would go straight to the source. We are working on a major update to be released after the first of the year and updating will be possible. As of now you cannot unless you delete it, however, requesting a new one will get your references blocked as the system flags that as spamming a providers references. 4 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted November 8, 2019 39 minutes ago, TheWhisperer said: We are working on a major update to be released after the first of the year and updating will be possible. As of now you cannot unless you delete it, however, requesting a new one will get your references blocked as the system flags that as spamming a providers references. Something to look forward to. Thanks. 💙 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted November 15, 2019 On 11/6/2019 at 2:53 PM, Hunter VanDyke said: When I clicked on your profile, I see your refs are from 2018. Your last review from this year is from a retired provider. A lot of providers require current references. That might be the issue. 🤷♀️ Thank you for that bit of information! Didn't even think about that! Will have to update mine. I 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
